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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
I posted on here about week ago about my DH's uncle and aunt having birthday parties for their much older kids (12, 14 and 22). I posted about my feeling that the birthday's were a little too much especially on the 22 year old but now this is about actually going and then waiting and waiting and waiting for it to be OVER!!!
The party for the 12 year old started at 4pm granted we didn't get there until 6:30 because DH had to work so we figured we would be there just in time for the coffee and cake. My 18 month old slept on the way there and woke up in the middle of his nap due to the other kids waking him up. Of course he was hysterical waking up in someone elses house not know anyone around him so we stuck it out till 8:30pm finally I had enough and told DH in front of uncle and aunt we need to go and the uncle says to me, "your're not going to wait for the cake?" I said nothing but goodbye and thank you and we all left.
Can you imagine going to a birthday party at 4pm and just hang out and do nothing and no cake by 8:30pm?? I'm sorry, but was that rude of DH"s uncle and aunt? I find it to be and I also found it to be rude that they made it seem like we were being rude because we left before the cake.
To top it all off I saw our birthday gift box opened by their sone wraping paper all over the place and we never got a thank you from the kid or mom on behalf of the kid. This sort of stuff makes me not want to go every year!
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Posted 5/4/09 8:50 AM  |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
I'm sorry, but I don't think it's rude. It's their party and they can do want they want. They shouldn't have to revolve the party timeline around your DC. I wouldn't expect anyone to do that for me. Maybe next time ask them when they think they'll be having cake or make it clear when you RSVP that you will only be stopping by and not staying long.
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| Posted 5/4/09 8:54 AM |
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MommyAgain
lovemygermies
Member since 6/08 3195 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by Tine73
I'm sorry, but I don't think it's rude. It's their party and they can do want they want. They shouldn't have to revolve the party timeline around your DC. I wouldn't expect anyone to do that for me. Maybe next time ask them when they think they'll be having cake or make it clear when you RSVP that you will only be stopping by and not staying long.
yea im sorry i kinda agree...i have 2 kids myself and STILL get aggravated when people think i have to abide by THEIR schedule because they have children...
although i wouldnt have been mad you left..that i disagree with.
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| Posted 5/4/09 8:56 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
This is what all parties are like in my family...it is just the way they are.
My DH wasn't used to it, cause it wasn't really ever like that for his family.
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| Posted 5/4/09 8:56 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
To be honest, I think you were the one that was rude. It was their home and they were hosting their party and it's to be expected that it would fall on their time line, not yours. Is it at all possible that they may have been waiting for you since you didn't get there until 2 1/2 hours after the party started? Even if they weren't waiting for you, if they want to have cake at 9, that is when they should have it regardless of it working on your timeline or not.
As far as the presents, I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get a thank you right away from a 12 year old. It's a party with many distractions. If you don't get a thank you in the mail, that is when I would be annoyed.
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| Posted 5/4/09 8:58 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
i don't think they were rude at all. that's how parties are in my family--they go on all day. and we have birthday parties for EVERYONE--no matter what the age. aunts, uncles, grandparents, kids, everyone no matter what the age. we celebrate birthdays and anniversaries--i don't understand why you don't think it's right to have a party for a 22 year old. just don't go if you don't want to.
i do think you were a bit rude honestly, not them. i have a young son, and i leave parties when i have to, not when they end. their schedule shouldn't revolve around me--we even had to leave christmas early!
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:07 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
I don't think anyone was rude.
I probably wouldn't have cake that late- if the party started around 4 and they did a meal first, I would think cake would be by 7.
However, since it's their party, they can do what they want.
On the same note, you can do what you need to do and leave early if an activity/event is too late for you.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:08 AM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by shamrock124
To be honest, I think you were the one that was rude. It was their home and they were hosting their party and it's to be expected that it would fall on their time line, not yours. Is it at all possible that they may have been waiting for you since you didn't get there until 2 1/2 hours after the party started? Even if they weren't waiting for you, if they want to have cake at 9, that is when they should have it regardless of it working on your timeline or not.
As far as the presents, I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get a thank you right away from a 12 year old. It's a party with many distractions. If you don't get a thank you in the mail, that is when I would be annoyed.
ITA with this.
I was thinking the same thing that possibly they were waiting on you and your family.
And furthermore, it IS their party, and they can run it however they want.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:15 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Minority here, I think a party for 4 and 1/2 hours with no food is a tad ridiculous. Its not "their party". you have a party for your GUESTS , not yourself, or you wouldnt have any party at all  .
I have a child too and I wouldnt stay at a 12 yr old cousins party for that long with a toddler. But I would have been honest and said when asked about staying for cake" No its very late for us now.".
Usually what we do is serve things quickly and then whoever wants to stay and hang out AFTER is welcome too.
Although I dont think its neccesarily Rude so much as clueless.
As far as the gifts, that doesnt shock me anymore, b/c I have been to too many parties with no thank you's, no thank you cards etc. It just re-enforces to me to remind myself to teach my child better.
BUT if I was you and this is such an issue, I really wouldn't go to the other parties for the rest of them...can't you just send a gift?
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:22 AM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
No, I don't believe at all that they were waiting for us because if that was true I don't think they would have wanted to hear my son scream for an hour and a half and make no attempt to getting the cake out or make coffee.
Also everyone is correct it is their party and they can roll the cake out at midnight if they wanted to BUT they can't expect people to be there for all that time. I held it out walking my hysterical son inside and out of their home and I decided to leave. I don't think I was being rude at all. I personally could never do that to my guests, make them wait that long. Thank god we were'nt there at 4pm.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:29 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by dm24angel
Minority here, I think a party for 4 and 1/2 hours with no food is a tad ridiculous. Its not "their party". you have a party for your GUESTS , not yourself, or you wouldnt have any party at all .
She said cake, not that there wasn't any food. I would hope they were serving dinner for their guests. I know when I host a party...it can take a while to get to cake because we have apps, then dinner and then cake and coffee. After cake and coffee...everyone leaves rather quickly too. As far as for their guest, she wasn't the only guest there but seemed to be the only one bothered by the service schedule.
Message edited 5/4/2009 9:30:44 AM.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:30 AM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by dm24angel
Minority here, I think a party for 4 and 1/2 hours with no food is a tad ridiculous. Its not "their party". you have a party for your GUESTS , not yourself, or you wouldnt have any party at all .
I have a child too and I wouldnt stay at a 12 yr old cousins party for that long with a toddler. But I would have been honest and said when asked about staying for cake" No its very late for us now.".
Usually what we do is serve things quickly and then whoever wants to stay and hang out AFTER is welcome too.
Although I dont think its neccesarily Rude so much as clueless.
As far as the gifts, that doesnt shock me anymore, b/c I have been to too many parties with no thank you's, no thank you cards etc. It just re-enforces to me to remind myself to teach my child better.
BUT if I was you and this is such an issue, I really wouldn't go to the other parties for the rest of them...can't you just send a gift?
Thank you. To be honest the issue was more with DC being hysterical that's is what made us decide on leaving. If he was fine and playing we would have stayed but at the same time I also thought it was way too long. We really did try to stay but just couldn't.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:31 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by adeline27
No, I don't believe at all that they were waiting for us because if that was true I don't think they would have wanted to hear my son scream for an hour and a half and make no attempt to getting the cake out or make coffee.
Also everyone is correct it is their party and they can roll the cake out at midnight if they wanted to BUT they can't expect people to be there for all that time. I held it out walking my hysterical son inside and out of their home and I decided to leave. I don't think I was being rude at all. I personally could never do that to my guests, make them wait that long. Thank god we were'nt there at 4pm.
I don't think it was rude that you left but how you acted (or how I am perceiving your demeanor) when you left. I have left parties early because of my kids but I don't get upset about it. I have to do what I have to do and I don't think it's rude that the hosts don't cater to what my needs are when there are other guests that are contented.
Message edited 5/4/2009 9:33:17 AM.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:32 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by dm24angel
Minority here, I think a party for 4 and 1/2 hours with no food is a tad ridiculous. Its not "their party". you have a party for your GUESTS , not yourself, or you wouldnt have any party at all .
I have a child too and I wouldnt stay at a 12 yr old cousins party for that long with a toddler. But I would have been honest and said when asked about staying for cake" No its very late for us now.".
Usually what we do is serve things quickly and then whoever wants to stay and hang out AFTER is welcome too.
Although I dont think its neccesarily Rude so much as clueless.
As far as the gifts, that doesnt shock me anymore, b/c I have been to too many parties with no thank you's, no thank you cards etc. It just re-enforces to me to remind myself to teach my child better.
BUT if I was you and this is such an issue, I really wouldn't go to the other parties for the rest of them...can't you just send a gift?
I agree completely, I do not think you were rude at all. When having a party, my goal is to ensure that my GUESTS have a good time and have what they need. I would not have been there for cake if it was served after 8:30 either
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:35 AM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by dm24angel
Minority here, I think a party for 4 and 1/2 hours with no food is a tad ridiculous. Its not "their party". you have a party for your GUESTS , not yourself, or you wouldnt have any party at all .
She said cake, not that there wasn't any food. I would hope they were serving dinner for their guests. I know when I host a party...it can take a while to get to cake because we have apps, then dinner and then cake and coffee. After cake and coffee...everyone leaves rather quickly too. As far as for their guest, she wasn't the only guest there but seemed to be the only one bothered by the service schedule.
They ordered pizza and their were chips on the table. Food wasn't drawn out or anything...DH's sister drove with Uncle to get the pizza at 4.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:36 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by dm24angel
Minority here, I think a party for 4 and 1/2 hours with no food is a tad ridiculous. Its not "their party". you have a party for your GUESTS , not yourself, or you wouldnt have any party at all .
She said cake, not that there wasn't any food. I would hope they were serving dinner for their guests. I know when I host a party...it can take a while to get to cake because we have apps, then dinner and then cake and coffee. After cake and coffee...everyone leaves rather quickly too. As far as for their guest, she wasn't the only guest there but seemed to be the only one bothered by the service schedule.
I was just replying to what she wrote, not making a lot of assumptions about what might have happened or what the other guests might have felt. I already said I was in the minority. Im not gonna pick it apart that deep.
eta- We have actually even SAID to hosts...When will cake be? Its getting late for us...Sometimes they need a nudge to let them know its getting a bit late. Not everyone is the best host/ess.
Message edited 5/4/2009 9:39:11 AM.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:37 AM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by shamrock124
I don't think it was rude that you left but how you acted (or how I am perceiving your demeanor) when you left. I have left parties early because of my kids but I don't get upset about it. I have to do what I have to do and I don't think it's rude that the hosts don't cater to what my needs are when there are other guests that are contented.
I wasn't upset when I left. To be exact for you to understand my demeanor I said I'm sorry we're going to have to leave, thank you for everything and I kissed uncle & aunt good bye...that's when he said you're not waiting for the cake. I'm saying on this thread that it was way too long for them not to have the cake out IMO. Again they can roll it out whenever they want but they can't expect to have everyone stay that long.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:42 AM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Being at a birthday party for 4 1/2 hours and no birthday cake yet...
Posted by dm24angel
eta- We have actually even SAID to hosts...When will cake be? Its getting late for us...Sometimes they need a nudge to let them know its getting a bit late. Not everyone is the best host/ess.
lol we did this too  when I was outside calming DS Uncle came out and I said, I'm sorry is the cake out we'll be in in a few minutes. That was at 8pm.
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| Posted 5/4/09 9:44 AM |
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