bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Would you be in a bridal party 6 weeks after you give birth? Dh is also in the bridal party, and we will both be away from the baby from 8am until around 1 or 2am. Both sets of parents will be at the wedding as well.

This is my first baby, so I don't really know how you typically feel 6 weeks after giving birth, and if you feel good enough to be a part of a wedding party.

Pros to Backing out would be:
- Having the morning with my baby until the wedding ceremony
- Getting ready at my own pace
- Wearing a dress I am comfortable in/is pumping friendly
- Not having to worry about pumping in between the church and bridal party photos
- Being able to have my car at the reception venue, and being able to leave a bit early (Dh and I would be in the limo, and would have to rely on someone to drive us home)
- Being away from the baby for about 6 hours, as opposed to 16-17 hours

Cons to backing out:
- It is someone else's big day and they want me to be a part of it
- The family will know I did the right thing if I was a bridesmaid (I worry what everyone will say if I back out)
- If roles were reversed, the bride would probably be a part of my bridal party


Any help/advice would be appreciated!

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Depends on who is getting married. I felt fine 6 weeks pp, just fat.

I would not be comfortable leaving my baby with anyone other than DH for that amount of time, though.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I wouldn't do it. My first was two weeks late so I would have ended up only 4 weeks pp! 16+ hours is a long time to be away from a newborn. My older dd also took a while to accept a bottle so that would have stressed me out. Also, if you end up with a cs that is a very long day to be on your feet. I had a great recovery with my cs after dd2 but a long day on my feet would have had me in real pain by the end of the night.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I don't think I would do it. I would absolutely not feel comfortable leaving my newborn home that long. I don't think I would feel comfortable at all in the dress. And I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself.


Plus you have to think about these factors:

What if you go late?
What if you have a c-section?
What if there are any complications?


It would just stress me out more than anything. I would back out now.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

DH's sister is getting married when my LO will be 4 weeks old. I am so happy she didn't ask me to be in the bridal party! DH is in the wedding party though. My parents are also invited but we basically told them that they aren't allowed to go so that they can babysit while I'm at the wedding. I also expect to leave wedding and go home to my parent's house early because I just don't think I'm going to want to leave him for that long. I'm very lucky that the wedding is on LI (we live in NYC) but happens to be taking place about 10 minutes from my parents house. Not sure what those logistics are for you.

I would say that the bride has to understand if you need to back out.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Are you planning on nursing? At 6 weeks out there is no way I could have been away from my DS for 16 hours. We went to a wedding when I was 8 weeks PP and we were only away for 5-6 hours and I was freaking out. I actually had to pump 2 times when I was at the wedding.

Can you bring the baby with you to the pre wedding/ceremony stuff and then have someone pick up your DC and bring them home to the reception?

ETA: I felt more or less fine at 6 weeks and I actually fit into all my clothes at 1 week PP. If I wasn't nursing, I would have had no problem being in a wedding at 6 weeks PP.

Message edited 2/10/2016 7:50:17 AM.

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I was my sisters's Matron of Honor when I was 5 weeks PP after having my first baby. I was a hot mess pumping all day. I wouldn't recommend doing it unless it's family or someone really close to you. It's stressful, and you will be very hormonal at this point.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

6 weeks post c section and I felt fine.

I know you said parents are both at the wedding but are they in it? Can they help during the day?

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I feel so bad having this conversation with the bride. Last week, she discussed the hair salon info, and I politely declined on the hair salon because I thought it would be easier to get ready at home in the morning, and meet everyone at the house for bridal party pictures. She told me to bring the baby to the hair salon because plenty of people can babysit that morning.... I would never bring a newborn baby to a hair salon with all those chemicals in the first place, but it is clear that she doesn't understand how important this is... My feeling is, if she doesn't understand that, how will she understand me not being a part of the day at all??

@alli3131, my mom said she can help during the day, and then pass off to a babysitter for the night. I personally would feel more comfortable passing off to a sitter myself.

ETA: Yes, I plan on nursing (a few of you had asked!)

Message edited 2/10/2016 7:55:30 AM.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

i attended weddings both times 6 weeks PP. It should be fine.

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Who is the person getting married? At 6 weeks pp with both kids I would've been physically fine to be in a wedding. Is it possible for your parents to help watch the baby that day? Or what about hiring a babysitter to stay nearby so you can have the baby "with" you.

The only issue I'd have is that 8am to 2am is a very long day, no matter way. At 6 weeks pp I was not sleeping (because the babies weren't sleeping) so I wouldn't be able to handle that. Would the bride understand if you arrived a little later, perhaps? At 6 weeks pp, I needed every moment of sleep I could get.

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I wouldn't feel comfortable being away from the baby for so long, especially since you're saying both sets of grandparents would be at the wedding. Depending on my relationship with the person I would probably back out.
Is bringing the baby to the wedding an option? The baby would sleep the whole time, and you can take turns with parents and any relatives who would want to help to maybe take the baby for a walk around the reception place. You can always ask the bride to BF in the bridal suite so you have some privacy if you need to breastfeed. You might not be able to party it up but at least you will know your baby is close by.

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Well, a lot of people go back to work at 6 weeks so I think I would try to make it work, though that's a really long time to be away from the baby. I would see if it's okay to not get ready with the bridal party and come by just before the wedding for pictures. I'd also leave my car at the venue if possible so I could duck out and nurse (if the party is at all convenient to your home) and head back- maybe during cocktail hour? Then you could also leave a bit early. Basically, I'd try to still do it, but with a caveat. Also, like others mentioned, depends on who the bride is to you.

Message edited 2/10/2016 8:15:29 AM.

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I felt 100% fine 2 weeks PP in terms of the aftermath of birth, however, I was exhausted beyond belief 6 weeks PP because my baby was colic and NEVER SLEPT. Like ever.
It was awful.
I don't think I'd want to be in a wedding party at that point unless i absolutely had to (like it was my sister or something)

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

This is a tough one...I would say definitely it was a family member, sister, cousin, etc. In that case, you could probably figure out how to make it work if you could find a very reliable babysitter that could maybe tag along and hang in the bridal suite with the baby, etc. You could drive yourself and the baby and not go in the limo, etc. But at 6 weeks, nursing, there is NO way you could have the baby away from you, and thats the problem. You dont know what your milk supply will be, if you have issues, you may not have enough to pump for the baby beforehand...and just emotionally I can guarantee you, you will not be up to leaving the baby for that long.

If its just a friend, even a close friend, I wouldnt do it. I wouldnt have wanted to 6 weeks post...I was still so emotional, felt fat and exhausted and I could have never left the baby for that long, no way.

If you are just a guest, you can come and go as you need and leave early.

Sadly, anyone who has never had a baby, just doesnt get what a whirlwind it is, so the bride will probably have a hard time understanding your decision if you choose to opt out. But what can you do - you cant always please anyone and sometimes you just have to out yourself first.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I was the matron of honor in my sister's wedding 4 weeks after giving birth to my son. My husband and I (and son) were all in the wedding. My parents were also with my sister the whole day. I do not have in laws that are alive so that was not an option either.

I brought our babysitter with me and we had it arranged that the baby came to the wedding but was in a separate bridal suite with the babysitter the whole time. We had him out for some of the pictures outside but that was it.

There was a lot of planning before hand but it all worked out perfectly!

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Spoke to the bride today- I want to be a part of the day, and she suggested I buy a full length evening gown in black (bridesmaids are wearing black) that is nursing friendly.

Going to ask on another thread about this- I need suggestions on stores/websites with nursing evening gowns!

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I would stay in. I felt great 6 weeks after having my kids (aside from being tired).

I would plan to get a car to the wedding venue early that day so you can duck out early if you have to.

This of it as a night out for you and your DH. Pack your pump and enjoy the night.

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I personally wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving my 6 week old with anyone other than my DH or parents. I'm not sure how close you or your family are to the bride but I would have my parents or Dh stay home or opt out of the wedding myself. I felt totally fine 6w pp to answer your question though.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Let's face it. You didn't want to be in your SIL's wedding party since day 1. This was before you were even pregnant. Yes. I remember your initial post on your original name.
I was fine at 6 weeks pp.
Modify when/where you get ready. She's giving you the option of wearing a dress you're comfortable in.
You'll be fine. This is her day. Not yours.

Message edited 2/10/2016 12:00:25 PM.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

I was in a similar situation but I was the bride. I had 1 bridesmaid (my cousin) who was due 4 weeks before the wedding and 1 bridesmaid (my BFF) who was still EBF her 9 month old. More than anything I wanted these girls by my side on my big day. I talked to them to figure out what they were comfortable with and how I could make it easiest on them. My BFF with the 9 month old decided she wanted to bring the baby and a baby sitter and they would hang out in the bridal suite all night. I said great! (and didnt have to pay for the babysitter, my venue was fine with it). It made her feel comfortable to have the baby close by to check on and nurse as needed. My cousin with the 4 week old could not be more excited for a night out so she decided she wanted to leave the baby home. Her husband was with the baby while we were getting ready and then his parents watched the baby once it was time for him to come to the wedding. My point is, talk to the bride! If she really wants you in the bridal party and you really want to be in the bridal party I'm sure there is something you can work out.

bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum

Exactly what Roandjoe said. I was fine by 6 weeks pp but First of all you don't have to be so dramatic saying you'll be away from the baby for 18 hours. You can arrange to have the sitter hang out in the bridal suite if you really needed to and you can visit the baby. The fact that the bride is allowing you to get a random black dress so you can be comfortable is ridiculously nice of her. Even after being a mom myself I don't think I would have offered a bridesmaid that option. You had your special day and now it's time for someone else.

Re: bridal party- 6 weeks postpartum