BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

Did you feel really lonely because its just now you and baby? My DH has a month off but had to go in (we knew this before) today just for this one thing.

We've only been home a week but I'm sitting here feeling so lonely-and then I think when he goes back to work full time in a month-how am I going to handle it? I feel so clingy to him since having my c-section and I hate feeling so dependent.

Is this normal? Will things feel normal or I guess become a new normal?

Then I worry about how much time he'll be spending with DD also. Its so much to take in

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

mine went to work the day after I came home from the hospital.

so I did not know any better.

DH now cherishes the hours he gets with Josh.

If we haven't seen him in a few days, we will go stop by his job.

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

Mine went back to work the day after i came home from the hospital but took a few days off here and there.
To be honest once i started feeling better I liked the alone time.
Once you start feeling better it might be easier.

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

He took two weeks off. I was sad when he went back to work, but we started to get into a routine and I was fine. Don't worry!

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

My DH was home for 5 weeks when DD was born. It was hard when he went back to work, but once we got into a routine and I did realize I could do it by myself, things got much easier.

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

I couldnt wait for my DH to go back to work...

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

Posted by Jen2999

I couldnt wait for my DH to go back to work...

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

DH didnt even take off when I was in the hospital--he was going to take off 3 days, but wound up needing to take those days when I was in labor before the baby.

It's harder to cook, clean, etc while doing all the baby stuff too, but you'll get into a routine. I try to gricery shop on weekends when i can leave the baby w/ DH, b/c that's the hardest thing for me to do w/ baby.

It is a little lonely not having adult conversation during the day, but I try to meet up w/ friends home vw/ babies.

DH spends a few hours a nite w/ DS before bed. he usually does his last feeding at 10:30 since i do all night and day feedings (i am ff only).

Message edited 7/26/2009 11:33:47 AM.

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

This is exactly how I felt, and I didn't even have a CS. I was so dependent on DH, I didn't want him to go back to work. But then DS and I got onto a great schedule, and things became soo much easier!

I still always miss DH and wish he could stay home too, but that obviously can't happen lol. But these feelings are completely normal, and once you get your new routine down, you will feel sooo much better!

ETA.. DH gives DS a bath, and gives him his last bottle. If he gets home earlier enough, he also spoon feeds his dinner. DS wakes up around 5 am for his bottle, and DH has been amazing and started taking that feeding as well. I'm very lucky to have my DH, he is such a big helper, and DS LOVES his daddy, smiles sooo big when he see's him walk in the door

Message edited 7/26/2009 12:28:21 PM.

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

It gets easier, I promise! I had a c-section too this last time and he had to go on a business trip after only 2 weeks! I had my family but only he really understood what I needed.

Soon you will be so competent at what you do, you will resent him butting in his two cents when he does get home

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

When DH goes back to work, I'll be working from home....so I'm working from home, taking care of a 1month old and we have two dogs also....

I guess that's what I'm afraid of...all of that happening at once

My mom will take the baby 1.5days a week and if we need to, we'll find a sitter part time if we can


I guess the hormones aren't helping....I'll be up and down during the day...and the whole breastfeeding thing is making me stressed....but I have to keep reminding myself that we can use formula if need be

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

Yes, I felt scared, but it was the best thing bc it forced me to learn how to take care of DD all by myself, which everyone needs to learn. My DH works long hours and sometimes we don't see him for 24 hours straight, so I definitely had to learn this lesson. It also strengthened my bond for DD. You will be fine, you'll see!

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

My DH went back to work right when I came back from the hospital, but my mom came almost every day for a few weeks afterwards. She was a lifesaver. I was really weepy in the beginning and cried a lot! It did get better though Do you have any friends that could stop by and help out?

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

oh my goodness, i'm so glad i made it thru this stage! DH took off a week and a half after DD was born. my mom was here for a week, so in reality, it was only me and dh and the baby for 3 days. once DH went back to work i wanted to dieeeeeeee! taking care of a brand new baby who wouldn't sleep at night and eat allllllll day was just overwhelming! DH had to take a few days off that 1st month when i couldn't take it anymore and needed a break. we have no family or friends here so it was extra rough for us!

if you live near family, take advantage of that! also, since it's the summer, go out if you can! having a baby in january was like a death sentence...extreme cold+new baby=home confinement

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

you get used to it really quickly. DH was home for 2 weeks, 5 days in the hospital. I was so sad when he had to go back to work, but it really wasn't that hard of an adjustment

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

yes the first few months after my first DC I felt very isolated. I was afraid to take her out alone and I didn't really have any friends that didn't work or family nearby. I went on meetup.com and joined a local mommy group and forced myself to get out and surround myself with people who were in the same boat as me and would understand my fears and insecurities. I learned alot from these other mom's, while having a good time and making some new friends. It's really hard in the beginning, but you just have to do it!!!

Good luck

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

My DH was off for almost 2 weeks. From Tues- Monday we were in the hospital (I was a failed induction after 2.5 days and then C-section) and then he was home with me and the baby from Monday-Sun.

I CRIED the night before he went back to work.. I never thought I would make it thru the next week.

But...I so did! My mom was over everyday...and it was nice to get my own routine.

Dont get me wrong, by Friday I miss him ALOT and I cant wait for him to get home, but you will get thru fine!

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

I was a little apprehensive to be alone with the baby-- but you have a lot of time to get more confident.

You will do great-- we all are completely clueless, scared, overwhelmed, intimidated in the beginning. It's totally normal to feels scared

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

Thanks Ya'll

Everyday I have more and more appreciation for mommies. I knew it would be hard, but really had no idea how hard I see DD's face though and its SO worth it

Thank you

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

Dh didnt get to take any time off after DS was born bc he literally started a new job that week. It was so lonely and overwhelming all at once to be home all by myself still recovering and still hormonal. I watched the clock all day and counted the hours down until he got home.

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

My DH was off for three weeks and it was SO hard when he first went back!! I felt lonely and then after a few days enjoyed having time with MJ alone....you'll get used to it!! It;s a matter of time!!

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

i had an awful c-section... and DH was only able to take off 1 week (luckly.. he just started a new job 3 weeks before so i wasnt expecting anything) and that week he was home i would have never been able to do it with out him... when he went back i cried for a few days because i was SCARED!...lol Now that its been 2 weeks since him going back were getting into a routine but its not easy yet... but im sure it will continue to get easier. im finally getting her into a routine but some nights im just exhausted and i feel bad waking DH since he puts in such long days so i just have to grin and bear it and sleep when she sleeps. like i said.. you will adjust and it will bec ome easier!

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...

DD is 2 weeks old and DH just went back to work today.

i am VERY lonely... staying at home, for me, is very depressing since i am used to working full-time. also, since i will be going back to work in 8 weeks, it's kinda hard to get into a stay at home routine, kwim?

to combat the loneliness i've lined up a bunch of visitors over the next few weeks - my mom, my mil, my sister, etc.

any way you could get some people to stay with you and keep you company?

Re: BTDT moms-when your DH went back to work...