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Goobster
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by neenie
I always wonder where people's own kids are and what those kids are doing while their parents are watching and judging others 
Letting their own kids run amuck. LOL
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Posted 8/6/11 1:38 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by BAM 2009
Posted by neenie
I always wonder where people's own kids are and what those kids are doing while their parents are watching and judging others
In case you are talking about me, DS was in the van with my husband at the time!!!!
Why would I be talking about You? I have no clue who you are 
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| Posted 8/6/11 1:41 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by neenie
Posted by BAM 2009
Posted by neenie
I always wonder where people's own kids are and what those kids are doing while their parents are watching and judging others
In case you are talking about me, DS was in the van with my husband at the time!!!!
Why would I be talking about You? I have no clue who you are
Seriously. I think some people have too much free time on their hands. And, yes, I am talking about you. 
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| Posted 8/6/11 2:00 AM |
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BAM 2009
I am who I am!!!
Member since 5/09 6081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by neenie
Posted by BAM 2009
Posted by neenie
I always wonder where people's own kids are and what those kids are doing while their parents are watching and judging others
In case you are talking about me, DS was in the van with my husband at the time!!!!
Why would I be talking about You? I have no clue who you are
Sorry... There are a couple of judgmental threads going on right now. And I am guilty of starting one.. At this point I can't keep up with what thread I have commented on! 
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| Posted 8/6/11 2:07 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
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Me
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Honestly, I think people that do this 1. have too much free time on their hands and 2. are defensive about their own parenting and just looking for a reason to toot their own horn (or just like to preach in general). It seems COMPLETELY ridiculous to me to take the time to come on here and "report" something you observed some random stranger do for the 30 sec. glimpse you have of your life. I laugh to myself when I read these posts - AT the OP.
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| Posted 8/6/11 2:10 AM |
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CaMacho
Sisters :)
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Name:
Jess
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by itsbabytime
Honestly, I think people that do this 1. have too much free time on their hands and 2. are defensive about their own parenting and just looking for a reason to toot their own horn (or just like to preach in general). It seems COMPLETELY ridiculous to me to take the time to come on here and "report" something you observed some random stranger do for the 30 sec. glimpse you have of your life. I laugh to myself when I read these posts - AT the OP.
I don't agree at all. We all obviously have some free time to come on here and post about anything and respond to other posts. It was on their minds re: what they saw so they posted about it, no different than posting about what dress their DC should wear, etc. Still using their free time to be on this site.
And the post about the woman hitting the kid in the face (which is what i'm assuming this post stemmed from), I don't think the OP was tooting her own horn at all. I would think that seeing one person hit another person is a difficult thing to see, esp when it's an adult hitting a kid. You may not know their situation but how can you not judge that, esp not knowing them and only seeing that side of them. I honestly don't know what i'd do if I saw that but it would definitely stay with me for a while.
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| Posted 8/6/11 8:16 AM |
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bigspender
Back to school
Member since 4/07 1385 total posts
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Irene
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Well since you child was in the van with your husband, why didn't you go speak to the woman. I think you overstepped big time. You see 30 seconds of someone's life and you Assume things. Maybe she went to smack the top of his head but instead hit his mouth, maybe she didnt we don't know.
Calling cps is out of line especially when you didn't get the whole story.
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| Posted 8/6/11 11:49 AM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
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Maureen
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by Ik1
Well since you child was in the van with your husband, why didn't you go speak to the woman. I think you overstepped big time. You see 30 seconds of someone's life and you Assume things. Maybe she went to smack the top of his head but instead hit his mouth, maybe she didnt we don't know.
Calling cps is out of line especially when you didn't get the whole story.
I don't get why everyone keeps commenting about her calling CPS- she didn't do that!! As she said, she spoke to a friend of hers who us a cop. He then took the license plate number from her and said he'd look into it. No mention of CPS.
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| Posted 8/6/11 12:04 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
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Lauren
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I have lots of crappy days. I have days when I am exhausted and frustrated beyond belief. But I would never, ever, hit my children so that they bleed. NEVER.
Will I scream at them, yes. Will I use an annoyed voice, yes. Will I grab an arm, maybe. But never hit to cause injury. Never ever.
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| Posted 8/6/11 12:09 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
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Melissa
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by HomeIsWithU
I agree that calling CPS is taking it too far in cases like this, and yes, we ALL have bad days when it comes to being a parent. No parent is perfect.
But I have to say that the post earlier about the mother who smacked her child I do not think that the poster over-reacted. She witnessed a mother smack her child so hard in the face that he bled from the mouth. She didn't call CPS and she didnt intervene. She simply mouthed the word "@sshole" as she drove past the mother. If that's all the OP did she should be awarded for restraining herself. She witnessed child abuse and I dont think she, or anyone else who witnessed an incident like that and reacted similarly could be categorized as being on their "high horse".
I believe in most cases we should mind our own business when it comes to parenting, but not always. I'm not claiming to be the perfect parent. I have my good days and my bad days. I have my days where I have the patience of a saint and others where DS pushes my buttons and I lose it fairly quickly. I'm sure there have been times that I have yelled at DS for the way he was acting and other parents nearby have thought " she clearly cant control her kid" or "what's her problem? He's just whining a little". BUT when a parent becomes physical to a point where the child is BLEEDING?? That's not poor parenting or an "off day"...that's terrible parenting and completely unacceptable under any circumstances IMO.
ETA: for spelling  (see...not perfect )
I agree with all of this. I think there is a middle ground between letting your child "walk all over you" and hitting your child so hard in the FACE that you make them bleed...in public! I say that because if this woman is that violent(and yes, I do think this is violence) in public what goes on in that house? I have days where all I do is yell at my kids. I've given a few spankings, but I would NEVER EVER hit my child in the face much less hard enough to make them bleed. Jenn I see what you are saying about the DD story, thats a little much and a snapshot of someones behavior, but the 2nd story about the woman is absolutely something I would get involved in.
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| Posted 8/6/11 12:24 PM |
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nrthshgrl
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Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Screaming at a child and smacking them hard enough to bleed are two different things in my mind.
I once saw a mom holding her kid down on the grass & repeatedly punching her 4(ish) year old over something that happened in IHOP. I did walk over to her & hand her her daughter's pony tail holder that she dropped as she was pulling her hair to get her to walk just so she would stop hurting her.
I was 21 years old & was so angry with myself that I did nothing. I didn't get a license plate. I didn't think to call the police.
I'm not saying every transgression or spank on the tush is worth calling CPS. I'm not even saying a smack on the mouth is as it was my friend's choice to smack her kids if she heard them curse & cured them of it quicker than the path I chose with my own kids. But if you weren't there to see how a parent smacked a kid so hard they bled, if you weren't there to see that mom punch a child, then you can't judge those judging either.
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| Posted 8/6/11 2:13 PM |
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Serendipity
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by JennZ
I really think some of you are out of control. Honestly, thinking of calling cps on random people not knowing them from a freaking hole in the wall. I think we all are way to high on our "Im a great parent" soapboxes. Seriously do any of you just not have a crappy day every once in a while? I think I read posts on here daily where I And think really? Whether it be, what do I do for a temp, what do I do if he sneezes to much, or who do I call for a hangnail. I think everyone thinks they are the perfect parent and cant see that sometimes you arent. Gasp.
I think there needs to a bit LESS judging and a bit more minding their business. Its really out of control.
**just MY opinion of course
Lately I have been cringing when I see a post entitled "Overheard" or"what I witnessed today" I am actually scared one will be about me....
That maybe I didnt yell at DD enough in the store, or that I said "mommy's mad" in stop n shop friday in a tone that some of the posters on here dont believe is a "tone" you use with a child, or that I left my DD in the car 9 seconds longer than I should have when I returned a wagon, or that I gave her freakin ICE CREAM! ...you guys are making me PARANOID!!!
I believe I make good choices and try my best to be a good parent but totally admit I am NOT PERFECT by a long shot....just a little scared I will be crucified if someone catches me in my "imperfect" moment.
And to add....this has nothing to do about the bleeding kid...I am talking about all the other posts similar to the Dunkin "incident".
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| Posted 8/6/11 6:21 PM |
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Kmarie36
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by browneyedgirl
Posted by JennZ
I really think some of you are out of control. Honestly, thinking of calling cps on random people not knowing them from a freaking hole in the wall. I think we all are way to high on our "Im a great parent" soapboxes. Seriously do any of you just not have a crappy day every once in a while? I think I read posts on here daily where I And think really? Whether it be, what do I do for a temp, what do I do if he sneezes to much, or who do I call for a hangnail. I think everyone thinks they are the perfect parent and cant see that sometimes you arent. Gasp.
I think there needs to a bit LESS judging and a bit more minding their business. Its really out of control.
**just MY opinion of course
hands down, the best post i've read on here in months
I agree. I was sick reading some ppl responses the other day. Some of you really need to get a life!
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| Posted 8/7/11 8:06 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
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Tricia
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I will add that I was abused as a child and CPS was called one time. Nothing came of it. House was clean I was clean (my mom also had OCD ) and there was food in the fridge. Hate to be a debbie downer, ht even calling CPS does very little.
ITA. CPS is awful. They actually put some of my siblings back in the house with the abuser. Until it got really bad
I don't even know what the answer is. I have ZERO faith in CPS. I hate them. I can't tell you how many times my school has called and all the claims go unfounded when I am a billion percent sure that a child is being molested or beaten.
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| Posted 8/7/11 8:28 PM |
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Sp here's my question.....what do you do to NOT end up as a "Guess what I saw/heard post?"
In the last post this child was hitting Mom in the stomach. Had she NOT done anything then the post would be OMG kids are out of control, where's the disipline? She DID so something and now she's possibly abusive. What could she have done to make herself appear to be a model parent? I swear you are damnned if you do and dammned if you don't anymore. Some people think any form of hitting/spanking is physical abuse, some say bribing is bad, some say ignoring it is bad, so what do you do? I ask this because I am guessing we will have MANY answers on how to best handle this situation and they will all stem from well it depends on the child, what was happening and so on.....shouldn't THIS also depend on the parent the situation and all that as well?
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| Posted 8/7/11 9:36 PM |
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mamasita27
OHANA
Member since 8/07 5974 total posts
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MB
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
i hesitate to get involved in this, but what the heck....i absolutely have days where i am exhausted and fed up with DD. I am not proud of the way I speak to her sometimes and have definitely given her a little "smack" on the tush from time to time, but i would never hit her. i confess sometimes i have to take a BIG deep breath and a step back though. although i do think there have been way too many judgemental posts lately i dont think it's ever right to hit your child even if you do have a bad day. but i also would never think to call cps (not saying the op did) on someone after witnessing ONE incident in a public place when i dont know the people from a whole in the wall.
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| Posted 8/7/11 9:50 PM |
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BAM 2009
I am who I am!!!
Member since 5/09 6081 total posts
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by medic6809
Sp here's my question.....what do you do to NOT end up as a "Guess what I saw/heard post?"
In the last post this child was hitting Mom in the stomach. Had she NOT done anything then the post would be OMG kids are out of control, where's the disipline? She DID so something and now she's possibly abusive. What could she have done to make herself appear to be a model parent? I swear you are damnned if you do and dammned if you don't anymore. Some people think any form of hitting/spanking is physical abuse, some say bribing is bad, some say ignoring it is bad, so what do you do? I ask this because I am guessing we will have MANY answers on how to best handle this situation and they will all stem from well it depends on the child, what was happening and so on.....shouldn't THIS also depend on the parent the situation and all that as well?
The kid that was punching them mom in the stomach was not the kid who got hit in the face... I could see him getting hit for doing that. But the older boy was standing five feet from her and I didn't see him do anything to her, he must have said something...
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| Posted 8/7/11 9:56 PM |
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josie919
Here we go!
Member since 2/08 1108 total posts
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Josie
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Im going to get RIPPED APART for saying this... but I think some people are getting a SMIDGE dramatic over the 'mom hitting kid in parking lot' post. Everyone is saying 'I would never hit my child in the mouth so hard that they would bleed'. Do any of you have any idea how sensitive your mouth/teeth/gums/lips are?? I wont comment either way on my feelings of physical discipline. But in reality, I have bit my lip and bled pretty bad. Im not at all saying the mom was right or wrong for what she did. But #1- none of us have any idea what happened before or after that. #2- if you hit someone lightly but in the 'right' spot, their mouth will bleed. I just wish some people would stop with the 'I WOULD NEVER HIT MY CHILD IN THE FACE THAT HARD' stuff... you are basing your response off the OP's description. None of us were there, and even the OP didn't feel it (obv) to say what force was used. The whole thing is sad...
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| Posted 8/7/11 11:36 PM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by bicosi
Posted by NervousNell
Could you imagine what the case load would be like if everyone was picking up the phone reporting a parent yelling at their kid in Dunkin Donuts, the mall, Target?
It would be out of control and the kids who really DO need help, wouldn't get it.
I can't imagine calling them up and saying- "Um, yes, I just witnessed a dad who was REALLY mean to his poor son! He yelled at him in Target! I got his plate number- can you check him out?"
I agree. CPS is understaffed and overworked AS IT IS!!
totally Agree!! Save the CPS calls for the children who are obviously abused. Don't waste their time on your petty BS, because you would never talk to your child like that. We all have a bad day and no body is perfect.
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| Posted 8/8/11 7:05 AM |
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BargainMama
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Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by medic6809
Sp here's my question.....what do you do to NOT end up as a "Guess what I saw/heard post?"
In the last post this child was hitting Mom in the stomach. Had she NOT done anything then the post would be OMG kids are out of control, where's the disipline? She DID so something and now she's possibly abusive. What could she have done to make herself appear to be a model parent? I swear you are damnned if you do and dammned if you don't anymore. Some people think any form of hitting/spanking is physical abuse, some say bribing is bad, some say ignoring it is bad, so what do you do? I ask this because I am guessing we will have MANY answers on how to best handle this situation and they will all stem from well it depends on the child, what was happening and so on.....shouldn't THIS also depend on the parent the situation and all that as well?
There is really nothing a child can do to warrant smacking them in the face. If spanking is your method of discipline, spank them on the butt. You don't hit your kid in the face, period.
Is it okay if someone smacks their kid just a little too hard, knocks them down and they hit their head and die? Just because the mom was having a bad day and was at the end of her rope with her kids? No. How about that babysitter that lost her cool and killed that little girl? She was sick of hearing the little girl whine it was said. Is she justified because she was having a bad with that child whining? No.
Justifications for abuse need to end.
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| Posted 8/8/11 8:57 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
he, I don't 100% agree with this.
honestly, I HOPE someone would stare me down if I lose my **** in public with my son. I HOPE that someone will shame me back to reality.
regardless of whether or not it will happen occasionally, it is NOT the parent I want to be to him.
I don't want to be a screaming lunatic. I certainly NEVER EVER want to lose my cool so much that I make my son bleed.
could it happen to me? SURE. I was raised by beaters and it is something I am keenly aware of. but I  with my soul that the eyes of the public would help me to reign that in. b/c not matter what, it is still UGLY.
just b/c I *could* do it, does not mean it gets a pass.
I could give a crap about what people feed their kids and posts like that.
but yeah, something like the kid getting smacked so hard they BLEED or being verbally rough housed b/c of a ******* donut...yeah, you are a parent acting like a complete ******* and you deserve to be shamed.
that is just how I feel about it.
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| Posted 8/8/11 9:03 AM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
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Diana
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by medic6809
Sp here's my question.....what do you do to NOT end up as a "Guess what I saw/heard post?"
In the last post this child was hitting Mom in the stomach. Had she NOT done anything then the post would be OMG kids are out of control, where's the disipline? She DID so something and now she's possibly abusive. What could she have done to make herself appear to be a model parent? I swear you are damnned if you do and dammned if you don't anymore. Some people think any form of hitting/spanking is physical abuse, some say bribing is bad, some say ignoring it is bad, so what do you do? I ask this because I am guessing we will have MANY answers on how to best handle this situation and they will all stem from well it depends on the child, what was happening and so on.....shouldn't THIS also depend on the parent the situation and all that as well?
There is really nothing a child can do to warrant smacking them in the face. If spanking is your method of discipline, spank them on the butt. You don't hit your kid in the face, period.
Is it okay if someone smacks their kid just a little too hard, knocks them down and they hit their head and die? Just because the mom was having a bad day and was at the end of her rope with her kids? No. How about that babysitter that lost her cool and killed that little girl? She was sick of hearing the little girl whine it was said. Is she justified because she was having a bad with that child whining? No.
Justifications for abuse need to end.
ITA...i thought i was the only one who felt like this since not many people were saying anything. i think its pretty disgusting that most moms on this board are posting like this is a joke. hitting your kid like that is not a joke! im not perfect...i post about things ive done wrong and need to improve. but if i ever act like that and in public JUDGE ME!! id rather someone get me under control than my child have to deal with me "having a bad day"!
Message edited 8/8/2011 9:24:03 AM.
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| Posted 8/8/11 9:22 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
I am all for discipling your children and believe a smack on the asss is deserved in certain situations.
However, I draw the line with smacking a child so hard that you draw blood.
I am shocked at the number of posters who think this ok. I don't care what kind of day your children are making you have, you can't hit them that hard in public to the point of bleeding and not expect someone to say something.
Message edited 8/8/2011 9:28:43 AM.
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| Posted 8/8/11 9:25 AM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by Ophelia
he, I don't 100% agree with this.
honestly, I HOPE someone would stare me down if I lose my **** in public with my son. I HOPE that someone will shame me back to reality.
regardless of whether or not it will happen occasionally, it is NOT the parent I want to be to him.
I don't want to be a screaming lunatic. I certainly NEVER EVER want to lose my cool so much that I make my son bleed.
could it happen to me? SURE. I was raised by beaters and it is something I am keenly aware of. but I with my soul that the eyes of the public would help me to reign that in. b/c not matter what, it is still UGLY.
just b/c I *could* do it, does not mean it gets a pass.
I could give a crap about what people feed their kids and posts like that.
but yeah, something like the kid getting smacked so hard they BLEED or being verbally rough housed b/c of a ******* donut...yeah, you are a parent acting like a complete ******* and you deserve to be shamed.
that is just how I feel about it.
I fully agree with you about people in public snapping you back to reality. We all have rough days. Sometimes we lose it. That does mean it's ok to take your frustration out on your kid. Yes it happens, but when it happens, it is good for something to bring you back to reality. A few weeks ago I was grateful for "public judging". My DH does lose his cool with the kids when they are whining excessively. He would never hit them, but he does yell or say things that I believe are inappropriate. My little one wouldn't stop crying in the car and when he took her out, he said loud and angry, "I've had enough of this crying sh* t already." Not abuse. But not ok. That's no way to talk to a 1.5 yo, in front of your 2.5 yo. I noticed a woman snap her head around and give him a dirty look. I made him aware of it, and later, it did hit home for him. Yes, I lost my cool. Yes, I am human and it happens. But no, it is not ok, and I need to work on it. It's not acceptable to take our frustrations out on our kids. Discipline is different than frustration. Neither should truly hurt your child, though. Emotionally or physically. Again, this is my opinion.
Also, I find it so strange that when there are posts about a parent behaving poorly, there are a million other posts about what kind of day the parent must have had and a million excuses for the parent. When there are posts about a child behaving badly, i see posts saying the parent must be terrible and not ever discipline their child. kids have bad days, too. maybe the kid was just having an off day. that doesnt warrant a smack in the face necessarily. maybe some understanding for the kid as well...
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| Posted 8/8/11 9:44 AM |
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JoJo2010
Happy Family
Member since 8/09 6266 total posts
Name:
JO
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Re: Can I just say....spinoff to bad mom/ dad posts
Posted by BriBri2u
I am all for discipling your children and believe a smack on the asss is deserved in certain situations.
However, I draw the line with smacking a child so hard that you draw blood.
I am shocked at the number of posters who think this ok. I don't care what kind of day your children are making you have, you can't hit them that hard in public to the point of bleeding and not expect someone to say something.
ITA
I never get involed with 'drama' posts, but this is making me sick to my stomach! How can ANYONE say that hitting a child to make them bleed is ok. I totally get a spank on the butt, but a smack to the face with BLOOD? HECK NO!
This thread is utterly ridiculous, seriously...i am SHOCKED. Just because you were smacked around has a child doesnt mean that its okay to smack around your own children. 'my mom did that to me as a child and i came out perfect' umm..no you didnt bc your doing it to your own kids....OY!
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| Posted 8/8/11 9:45 AM |
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