Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

It's probably so lame to some to me it really bugs me.

Whenever someone hears I am pregnant with twins their first question is "Oh, did you have fertility assistance?"

Why in the world does that matter?!?! I didn't, but even if I did why would it matter? I don't understand why EVERYONE asks me. It has got to be one of the rudest questions ever. It is no business how my children are conceived.

Thank you for allowing me to get that off my chest.

Message edited 1/20/2011 7:04:41 PM.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

I completely agree with you. I DID have fertility treatments but my egg split and I had identical boys which has nothing to do with my treatment. It def makes me mad when people ask that. I am certainly not ashamed with the fact that I needed some help getting pregnant but rather I am more mad that people think its their business and actually have the guts to ask.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

I got this question all the time when people found out i was PG with twins and even now that they are here and i talk to someone i have not spoken to in a while i get, "are your twins natural?" I am very open about everything but still this question annoys me. Not to mention it's rude to ask someone this question.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

yea i got"naturally?" like it's anyone's business how they got here!!! don't let it bother you!!! the girls are almost 9 months now and i still get "one boy, one girl?" that is the most annoying thing to me!!!!!

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Posted by sunflowerjesss

Posted by MommyR2010

but rather I am more mad that people think its their business and actually have the guts to ask.

This is exactly how I feel. Who do they think they are asking such a non important and personal question. Its just as bad as saying "Oh, so who was on top or did you do it doggie"

How my children came to be just isn't anyone's business and I can't believe people feel so privileged.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

It drives me crazy when people ask that.....it is NONE of their business. Wait til you are out and about with them!!! You will hear some real winners! LOL

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Yeah, so annoying! When someone approaches me and the kids i know exactly what the convo is going to be before it starts... Especially since i have a lot of twinsin the family, people feel the need to know my whole family tree.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

yup.. it was one of the questions from people that bugged me the most.

it was..
"did you have them naturally?"
AHHHHHHHH who cares!!!!!!!!!!!!

it is so annoying, i just want to scream.. and most of the time i just say yes i did have them naturally because i don't want any further questions!!!

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Yes, get it too. I dont let it bother me.
Truth is, it dosent matter.

I think just with the times, twins are everywhere, so its great to see.

I feel like Im surrounded now that I hav mine. LOL

I also get, a boy and a girl???
uh, NO!

They are in BLUE!

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

i HATE when people do that. i was actually really surprised by the gaul that most people had that they would even ASK that question!

I did IVF but i would just tell people yes when they asked if they were conceived naturally - it really is none of their business.

oh, and it bothers me when people say "naturally" also - as if my child aren't "natural"! that one really bothers me too

oh well!

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

I have to figure out better responses to these questions. I feel beeter when I have a reply in my arsenal!
I knew this question would come from my SIL who never inquired the whole time we were TTC. When we shared the good news we were alone and she said her 15 year old daughter wanted to know if we used fertility treatments! ***? I told her I didn't think it was any of the children's business. I also pointed out that they never asked over the years and we agreed it was because they didn't want to intrude. I said "then why start now?"
THen a sono tech at the peri asked if they were natural. I knew what she was asking, but I should have said yes, only because I think it's very natural for an egg to be fertilized and implant even if it's through a surgical procedure !

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

as a person who hasn't had any children yet (But I want twins) the thought often crosses my mind, but then I always think who cares!! They are so blessed! I would NEVER EVER ask, not even if it was a family member. Its just down right rude

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

My sister has 4 month old twins, and when she goes out everyone comes up to her and asks questions, she was thinking of getting a sign to stick on the stroller saying

YES they are twins
Yes they are boys
Yes they were 2 months premature
Yes they were natural

And when my sister says they were natural some people don't even believe her!
She wasn't even trying to get pg

Message edited 1/21/2011 12:47:36 PM.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Yeah, I guess I have gotten over it after having gone the fertility route. I think a lot of people feel embarassed, but I am proud that I did whatever was at my disposal to have my little ones...they will always know how much we wanted them.
That being said, people do ask all the time, and I do think it is rude. If I bring it up first, then they can ask questions. But, for them to ask first isn't appropriate.

Sometimes, I want to ask other multiples moms to share experiences. But, I always stop myself...or bring up my experience first, and then give them the opportunity to talk about it, if they want.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Oh just wait until they are born.
My favorite is always:
Random stranger: "Are they identical?"
Me: "No they are a boy and a girl."
Random Stranger: "But they look so alike, are you sure they are not identical."
Me: "Yes I'm sure." (fake smile and try to walk away.)

And
"are they twins?"
"oh you must have your hands full"
"double trouble!"


Its gotten a little better as they've gotten older, but people are just fascinated.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

When I am out with the twins, 95% of the time people will ask me if they are "natural twins"?!?!?

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Since we were told that we might be having triplets, I have been doing research on multiples. I came accross this you tube video and I thought I will share

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT-lgB_HGEE

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

i must be lucky no one ever asks me that... yet! when people do find out they mostly ask me what im having and give me all this stuff like how hard its going to be or telling me what its like to be a mom- even though none of them know i already have a two year old- silly them

i cant believe people ask you that though- thats terrible

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

Posted by sunflowerjesss

Posted by shelby34

Sometimes, I want to ask other multiples moms to share experiences. But, I always stop myself...or bring up my experience first, and then give them the opportunity to talk about it, if they want.

I actually don't think I'd be the least bit insulted if another multiple mommy asked me. That is more like comparing war stories versus someone being nosy.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

People are just plain stupid!!!! LOL I dont think most people think before they open their mouths and make a stupid comment. I get really annoyed when I am out with the trio for a walk and people stop my like they are a circus side show...*** people they are kids...

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

The questions never really bothered me. I was just so happy that I was able to have them I wanted to share it with everybody.

I do get a little annoyed with the twin questions though. Are they twins? I loved that question when they were a few months old and I was carrying baby carriers around with me. Now it wouldn't bother me as much because they are fraternal twins and Aubrey looks a little older than Carsyn.

Re: Can I just vent for half a second regarding people and multiples?

I get these questions n then some.
I have a big gap between my first two kids n the twins. It was not like I didn't try for a gazillion years hence the fertility doctor,
R they all from the same father?
oh boy..you have your hands full..
were they planned or a accident?
r u freakin kidding me???
they r your husbands lady...