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memi7206
LIF Adult
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Due Dec 29th!!!!!
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
Posted by GoldenRod
I don't see anything wrong with locking DC in a room for short periods of time. They spend most of their young lives "locked" in a crib, in their stroller, in a gated room, in the house, in a carseat, in a room with a child-proof knob cover, etc. Time-outs don't work for every child, just like nothing works for "every" child. Some kids need to be physically removed from distractions and people in order to calm down, or realize they are being reprimanded for their behavior.
When a child is too young to open the knob of their bedroom door, and it's closed for fire safety reasons every night, they are "locked" in their room.
We've locked DD in her room when needed, and she is far from traumatized. She sees her room as a place for solace now, and she's locked herself in her own room more than once, on purpose.
agreed. I never done it for DS bc I havent had too, but if the need arose, I agree with this.
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Posted 4/21/11 7:54 AM  |
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
I don't like sending him to his room as punishment. He might start to think going to bed is punishment. Plus, he has (I'm assuming) a lot of toys there so how is that punishment?
I would do a timeout in a very quiet spot.
Maybe you can get your son a boppie- those inflatable punching bags.
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| Posted 4/21/11 8:52 AM |
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MSeid
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/05 805 total posts
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
Not a fan of locking him in the room but I am a fan of time-outs. I would try not to react to the behavior, put him in a time-out (an area designated for consequences to behaviors) where there are no toys, remove eye contact, and in 3 minutes return, get down to eye level discuss that there is no hitting and make him apologize to your DH, hug him and move on.
If it continues maybe see what he gets out of it when he hits, what happens right before he hits, and see if there are some similarities each time. Behaviors are typically shaped rathere quick.
Message edited 4/21/2011 2:11:42 PM.
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| Posted 4/21/11 2:11 PM |
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chikita315
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Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
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M-lo
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
Posted by Diana1215
He wouldn't stay in the spot that I put him in (in the living room) so I decided I needed to remove him completely from the situation.
If we are on the first floor he gets put into the office/playroom. I shut the door. I stand there - if he opens it I shut it again.
Same thing goes for his bedroom if we are upstairs.
Time outs have never worked better, and I only had to do that a handfull of times before he started behaving better.
I wouldn't necessarily lock him in there but I do think it's better to take him out of the situation completely.
This EXACT situation is what's going on at my house. DS will NOT stay in the time-out spot, so I've made him sit in his room and I shut the door (while standing outside it). It's the only thing that works.
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| Posted 4/21/11 2:58 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
Posted by memi7206
Posted by GoldenRod
I don't see anything wrong with locking DC in a room for short periods of time. They spend most of their young lives "locked" in a crib, in their stroller, in a gated room, in the house, in a carseat, in a room with a child-proof knob cover, etc. Time-outs don't work for every child, just like nothing works for "every" child. Some kids need to be physically removed from distractions and people in order to calm down, or realize they are being reprimanded for their behavior.
When a child is too young to open the knob of their bedroom door, and it's closed for fire safety reasons every night, they are "locked" in their room.
We've locked DD in her room when needed, and she is far from traumatized. She sees her room as a place for solace now, and she's locked herself in her own room more than once, on purpose.
agreed. I never done it for DS bc I havent had too, but if the need arose, I agree with this.
ITA.
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| Posted 4/21/11 3:14 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
I put him in his room and close the door, but I don't lock him in there - (only b/c i'm afraid of him getting hurt)
not b/c I'm concerned he will get upset w/ me -
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| Posted 4/21/11 3:43 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
I do not think it's cruel, unless you locked him in there for a really long time, but for a few minutes it doesn't seem like a bad thing.
This actually worked really well with DS for hitting--time outs didn't do a thing. We put him in 7 or 8 one day, no difference, he kept hitting. And time outs never worked all that well with DS to be honest. But putting him in his room, alone, with the door closed does. We don't lock it, but I close it and hold the handle so he can't come running out.
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| Posted 4/21/11 5:28 PM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
Posted by mnmsoinlove
Posted by jgl
I wouldnt lock him in his room. Time out yes, beavior chart/reward system yes, locked in somewhere no.
IMO I wouldn't expect my pediatrician to know how to handle behaviors. If you are super concerned, I would see a psychologist.
ita! I don't think you should lock a 3 year old in their room. A pediatrician isn't a behavioral specialist.
I tend to agree as well with the posters above. Best thing to do with any child when they start acting up is to remove them from the environment that they are in so that they calm down and can regroup. Maybe this is what your pediatrician was trying to imply.
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| Posted 4/21/11 6:36 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
I think the euphemism is called a time out. Times outs are done in different ways but essentially they are all given to have your child realize that he cannot do x,y or z & there are consequences to his actions.
While I never had to lock my kids in their room, they are sent there if they're misbehaving.
If you were to set the timer, lock him in his room, he knows he's got a set time period that will end.
If your ped suggested locking your kid in his room for hours, where your child doesn't know there is an end in sight & thinks he's abandoned, then I'd say your ped is nuts.
He's three & that's old enough to know better & learn the consequences IMO.
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| Posted 4/21/11 6:47 PM |
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mosh913
baby boy coming spring '11
Member since 5/05 3133 total posts
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
I don't think your ped. gave bad advice. You may not agree with it and it may not be your parenting philosophy, but I think he does have a point. Your DC will get the point. I'm sure he meant for a few minutes, not long periods of time.
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| Posted 4/21/11 7:07 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
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Re: Can I pick your brain re: advice from a pediatrician? This kind of shocked us. need your opinions, moms!
Not touching the "locking in the room" thing because I DO NOT agree with it. Then again, we are a family who sleeps with all the doors to the bedrooms open, and 2 bedrooms do not even have doors on them.
However, things like this are the reason why I do not take parenting advice from my pediatrician. Medical advice, yes... but thats where it stops.
Message edited 4/21/2011 7:41:32 PM.
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| Posted 4/21/11 7:40 PM |
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