Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

I failed my 3 hour miserably and have GD. I have to meet with a specialist on Thurs. I am so worried about the effects it will have on my baby. I feel like a failure at protecting her already....I feel like this is all my fault. And I know it's silly, but in addition to worrying about the baby, the thought of pricking my fingers to monitor my blood is making me sick. I don't know if I can do it. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a panic attack and I can't stop crying. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

Aww, I am so sorry you feel this way. You are def. NOT a failure and this is not at all your fault. Please dont blame yourself. It will take some work but many women with GD delivery healthy and happy babies with no problem.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

Awww, I am so sorry. First, I know you know this, but it is NOT your fault. You are absolutely protecting your child and that is why you found out about this and are going to take all the precautions! I know it sounds scary now, but you will get through it because it's your baby and a mama will go through anything for her baby. Good luck!!!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

please don't cry. GD is very common and you are NOT a failure. You will learn to do the finger sticks and manage it because you are a great mom already and will do what it takes to keep you and your baby healthy. There are millions of people who live with type 1, type 2 and GD every single day! I know it's scary at first but I promise it will get easier. Im not a healthcare professional, but have spent the past 8 years working in diabetes and I am amazed at how people successfully manage this disease.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

Aw, please don't blame yourself! GD is so common, and you're going to be a good mommy by monitoring your blood sugar and making sure you and baby stay healthy.

As far as the fear goes of pricking yourself, I totally understand. I never in a million years thought that I would be able to give myself an injection for IF treatments, but you do what you have to do in order to have a baby.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

don't beat yourself up! GD is extremely common, and you are doing the best thing for your baby by monitoring your sugar/carb intake.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

You are not a failure. GD can happen to anyone. You will do what you have to do to protect you and your LO. You are a loving mom. Don't beat yourself up

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

I had GD with my first pregnancy and had a very healthy daughter. I was able to control it with diet. I did test my blood sugar 4x a day (which I am still doing with this pregnancy even though I am not GD) and it really isn't that bad to test. It doesn't even hurt. You will get a hang of it and everything will be fine. Please message me if you have any questions!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

I posted pretty much the same exact thing word for word when I first found out I had GD with my DS in 2010. I couldn't stop crying and feeling like I was letting my baby down and my body was failing me somehow. I felt so incredibly guilty. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! I know it's hard to shake that guilt right now but believe me, you and your baby will be ok.

I was so scared of the thought of having to monitor my blood 4x a day but honestly, it became second nature and it didn't even hurt. The actual 3 hour test hurt a LOT more than the finger prick does.

Hopefully you will be able to control your sugar levels with diet alone as I was. I had to make adjustments to my diet but on the positive side, I only gained 13lbs my first pregnancy and 18lbs so far this pregnancy because I became accountable and couldn't use the "I'm eating for two" excuse to binge on junk foods.

As long as you keep your sugar levels under control, your baby will develop no differently than any other baby whose mother does not have GD.

This is my 2nd time with GD so if you have any questions or want to vent, please feel free to FM me anytime!!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

Please don't beat yourself up! So many girls on here have it!!! big hugs

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

I completely understand where you are coming from. IDK how I ended up on the pregnancy board... old habits maybe.. haha. BUT I had a baby girl june of 2010. I had GD.... a pretty bad case too. I felt I let my baby down already... and basically all the same things you are feeling right now.

First, please know this is not your fault. It's the placenta that causes GD.. it throws your hormones out of wack and can in times make your body reject insulin. Usually all that's needed to rectify the situation is a special diabetes diet. The diet is actually a blessing in disguise. I saw a nutritionist weekly and she directed me what to eat and when, etc. It's A LOT of fresh foods, fruits and veggies... LOADS of veggies. The baby is all the healthier because you are eating healthier. I only gained 25 lbs while pregnant, and I owe that to this diet. It really kept not only my health in check but also my weight gain. In addition it taught me a lot about foods. Oh and of those 25 lbs I gained while pregnant, I lost 32 lbs by 2 weeks pp. Amazing! I owe that to this diet!

Please know that there is NO difference between a non GD pregnancy and an under control diabetic pregnancy. That's according to my doctors. Knowing this made me feel a little better.

I too, was scared of all the things I was reading. I had to do 6, yes SIX finger pricks a day. I followed the diet to a T and failed constantly. I was put on insulin shots. And they had to be constantly increased. By the end of my pregnancy I was taking the pen higher than number 40, two times a day. Through it all though, I kept up with the diet, I did all they told me to do. My baby was sent to the NICU when she was born for sugar tests (this is normal for all GD's). She failed her first test, they fed her, then she passed the 2nd test and was kicked out of the NICU in just 2 hours or so. She's healthy and doing great at 6 months. And she's not even a fat baby (I say this because they constantly tell you "oh you will have a big baby, etc"... SO NOT the case for me!).

Please feel free to message me with any questions you have. or even just to vent! I've been there. I cried SO MUCH over it! i can't even tell you!!! I know what it's like... it's very devastating and depressing. You *can* get through this... and your efforts won't go unnoticed by your baby!!!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

Everyone's body is different so don't beat yourself up. Your whole system is out of whack. Think of it as just a modified way of eating and most of my friends that had GD said that post baby they were going back to that eating plan as they felt pretty good eating that way.
sorry your sad

Ps. My sil had it and they said big baby also ..she delivered a 5lb perfect baby girl

Message edited 1/11/2012 8:05:28 AM.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

I know how you feel, I too had GD and in all honesty, once you get over the initial shock it's really not that bad. I can tell you from experience, it will be okay. First, NOTHING you did caused the GD, it's hormonal and completely out of your control. Second, you will find a way to manage it and you (and your baby) will be fine. And lastly, as long as you manage your GD your baby will be born happy and healthy without any issues.

I failed the one hour at 27 weeks.........miserably!!!! They didn't even send me to do the 3hr. I went right to the endocrinologist that day. I started testing my sugars in the morning and after every meal (it's not that bad, you get use to it) and even following a strict diet they still couldn't get my sugars under control. I ended up on insulin 4X/day. I was a nervous wreck having to take the insulin shots but it was SO easy and painless. You very quickly get use to testing your sugars, watching everything you eat, and taking your insulin. I'm not going to lie, it's not easy and it's not fun but you do what you have to. Watching every carb and morsel of food does $uck but at least it's only temporary.

My DD was born happy, healthy, and with ZERO complications from my GD. She was prefect. As soon as I delivered her my GD went away and 3y3m later I've not developed diabetes or had any issues. Just follow your doctor's advice and you will be just fine. If you have any questions about managing the GD feel free to FM. Good luck!!.............it will all be okay!!! I promise!!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

i have to take the 3 hour next thursday after failing the 1 hour I'm really concerned as well but like the other ladies said, it is NOTHING that you did. I even googled if there are ways I could pass the 3 hour and basically there is nothing you can do, it's up to your body.

my friend's boyfriend's sister just gave birth to a healthy boy last month and she got GD as well so believe me, your baby will be fine!!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

You will get used to it, I promise. It sucks at first but then it becomes like second nature. Just follow the diet and closely monitor your BGL and you (and baby) will be just fine!!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

Thank you all for you kind and supportive words. I really appreciate them. I'm feeling a little better today....just waiting to see what they say I need to do when I go tomorrow. I'm just going to have to do what I need to do for my baby and pray everything goes ok.

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

First you are not a failure! I also failed the 1st and 2nd hour testing in my 3-hour glucose test and I have been a GD preggo since then! I saw a nutritionist and honestly, didn't really have to alter my diet all that much from what I normally eat. And the system they gave me to test my sugars is a closed lancet system that doesn't even hurt to draw blood. So easy and painless! My blood sugars are tested 4x a day (when I wake [fasting], and two hours after breakfast, lunch and dinner). You should be in the range of 80-120 after 2 hours, and I am always between 80-100, so I have excellent numbers and do not need insulin. It also becomes routine. I figured it would be a real pain, but you can literally test in 15 seconds, it's nothing!

Hang in there! You are doing the very best to protect your baby!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

I didn't read all of the responses but I was recently diagnosed with GD also (on top of being at home on strict bedrest!)

It's definitely not your fault. I didn't have GD with my first and nothing really changed from then until now.

I know exactly what you mean about pricking your fingers! I went through IF and injected myself or had injections that were insane and was still scared about the finger prick. BUT, you actually do it on the side of your finger and it really doesn't hurt! I was SHOCKED! The anticipation of the first time was way more than what the actual prick was.

If you ever need to talk, I have PLENTY of free time

Also, the nutritionist gave me a lot of information and sample meal plans. There's also a "pregnant with diabetes" group on baby center that is helpful and if you need any ideas for meals/snacks, I'm happy to help... just FM me!

Re: Can't stop crying...I feel like a failure.

i was diagnosed with GD when i was pregnant and felt the same way. i cried over it as well. after i met with the nutrionist i felt a lot better. it really isnt that bad at all. i too thought i couldnt prick my finger but its really easy and you hardly feel it! its such a quick prick and its such a small needle!
and although the diet may seem scary at first...id like to think it was a god send! i only gained 20lbs my entire pregnancy! so much easier to lose after the baby was born. my DS was fine the entire time i was pregnant and it was easy to stay on track with the diet because i know i had to in order to keep my baby healthy.
i think once you are informed by the doctors/nutrionists you will feel a lot better and less overwhelmed. the first 2 weeks or so are a little hard to get into an eating routine but then it just comes to you. i found little ways to satisfy my sweet tooths and what not.
it seems like the end of the world but its totally not! and they say you can have bigger babies but my boy was born at 4lbs 10oz so dont let that scare you either!