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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
i wouldn't expect forgiveness..
if i got it..well i would be thankful that i have a DH who is more tolerant than myself...
But in reality...my DH is EXACTLY like me and would leave me...
Trust would be gone and would ultimately kill us
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Posted 5/28/05 7:40 AM  |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I would stay and see if we could work it out.
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| Posted 5/28/05 7:48 AM |
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Boobobunny
Live in the Present
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
Dannielle
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
i woudl leave
i told fh when we got engaged...that if i ever found out he cheated on me...then its over.
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| Posted 5/28/05 7:58 AM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I would defintely leave.
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| Posted 5/28/05 8:13 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I agree with Neenie- I'd leave.
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| Posted 5/28/05 10:58 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by Redhead
Posted by mrjune262004
For everyone that said they would definitely leave, I just have one question. Does it make a difference to you if they came out right away and told you, the first time it happened and you could tell they were truly sorry?
Someone posted about how they know wife's that have cheated and the husband never found out. I think if you truly love someone and they are honest about what happened when it happens and don't try to hide it for a week,month or years. I think this makes a big difference as well as to whether or not the person could be trust. Sh!t happens if your upfront about you mistake I would be a lot more forgiving then if I found out later or by someone else
Nope...no difference imo. I would be appreciative that he did tell me...and would say thanks but NO THANKS...as i walked out the door!
and i DO NOT have to be in this situation to know how i would react....
People DO NOT have to be in every situation out there to know how they would react in it...SOME things you know about yourself
I completely agree, Red. Body parts dont 'accidentally' fall into crevists. Maybe its not deliberate, but we're adults, and we need to own our actions. This is a somewhat Extreme comparision, but i look at it like this- look at murder. Yeah, that happens by accident too (look at those stories where someones playing around with a gun, and it goes off, killing the other person)- the killer can admit to it, and do the time for their punishment, BUT it doesnt bring the victim back. Some actions have real and serious consequences and just cant be undone. Obviously theyd be truly sorry (as they should be), But that doesnt undo whats already been done.
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:03 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by mrjune262004
For everyone one that said they would definatly leave, what if you were the one that cheated?? Would you expect forgiveness or would you just leave even though you still love your so?
i put in my original post, but Yes, i would expect the same of my DH. Of course i would feel SO upset, but i know that neither one of us could ever get past that. And an unfaithful wife is Less than my DH deserves, and he should never have to settle for that.
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:06 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by mrjune262004
For everyone one that said they would definatly leave, what if you were the one that cheated?? Would you expect forgiveness or would you just leave even though you still love your so?
If I cheated, would hope to be forgiven, but I do not expect that he would want to continue the relationship. He deserves better than a cheater.
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:14 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by baghag
If I cheated, would hope to be forgiven, but I do not expect that he would want to continue the relationship. He deserves better than a cheater.
well said 
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:17 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
i cant say unless ive been there.
i know i would def SAY its over, calm down and then see hwat hppaens, BUT........
if he were having an affair.. not just a one night stand and/or kiss i feel its ALOT different. with a long affiar there are feelings involved and whatnot.
with a one night stnad type deal maybe they were drunk, not thinking clear, etc, etc.....
i would HAVE to say i'd leave with an affair,
i dont know what i owuld do with a one time sfreak occurance thing.
just being honest.
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:18 AM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I don't think I could EVER FORGIVE HIM.....It would just bother me too much...The relationship would have to end
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:23 AM |
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I used to say that if DH ever cheated on me I would leave and it would be over but now I am not sure.
We have children and I would hate to break up the home(my 3 yr old would not be able to live without him)
If it was just sex I would try and work on getting over it but if it was a relationship I couldnt forgive that
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:32 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Yes , def, even if we had kids, I know in my heart I could NEVER trust him again and it wouldnt be fair to the children to watch and see their parents fight or stay together unhappy. I have a HUGE trust issue and once its broken I know there is NO turning back- I would always question him and make our lives miserable- who the hell needs that! Life is too short, but I commend the girls that could do it. It takes a strong heart to overlook something like that- I mean come on your man was intimate with another woman- how does one get over that? I hope none of us ever have to go through that pain!
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:39 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by baghag
Posted by mrjune262004
For everyone one that said they would definatly leave, what if you were the one that cheated?? Would you expect forgiveness or would you just leave even though you still love your so?
If I cheated, would hope to be forgiven, but I do not expect that he would want to continue the relationship. He deserves better than a cheater.
If I cheated- I would want him to leave too - Once a cheater always a cheater. I know I sound harsh but I just hate this topic its such a painful thing to do to someone- DH and I already made a pack with one another that if somewhere down the line something wasnt right or missing to tell eachother no matter how hard we think it may hit the other person honesty is the best! If we cant work things out from there then the marriage would be over.
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:43 AM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I'd like to say I would stay and try and work it out but I really think the pain would be way too much. I would never forget it it and would never trust him again.
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| Posted 5/28/05 12:12 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by girlygrl33
If I cheated- I would want him to leave too - Once a cheater always a cheater.
Thats not true in all cases,
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| Posted 5/28/05 12:16 PM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
If I cheated, something would have to be really wrong with our relationship to begin with and I would have to leave anyway.
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| Posted 5/28/05 12:20 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by DebG
I would stay and see if we could work it out.
Ditto. Sh!t happens. We're only human.
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| Posted 5/28/05 12:31 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by june262004
Posted by girlygrl33
If I cheated- I would want him to leave too - Once a cheater always a cheater.
Thats not true in all cases,
I agree.
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| Posted 5/28/05 12:33 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I would leave, WITHOUT a doubt.
I don't think I would ever trust him again after that - we don't have children yet - but I don't think having children would affect my decision to stay in the marriage either. The trust is broken.
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| Posted 5/28/05 12:35 PM |
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dld4e
I ♥ my boys!
Member since 5/05 4461 total posts
Name:
DJ
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
I would definitely leave, I can't spend my life with someone I CAN NOT trust!
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| Posted 5/28/05 3:57 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by mrjune262004
For everyone one that said they would definatly leave, what if you were the one that cheated?? Would you expect forgiveness or would you just leave even though you still love your so?
I can say I would leave for sure because I would never ever cheat myself. I don't think cheating happens accidentally--we are all adults and have a choice in each situation. I think you would only make the decision to completely disregard your partner's feelings if there were larger issues and you were unhappy. I would go to counseling before I ever got so upset that I turned to another man for comfort. I know I would leave because I have never had random sex in my life, and to know that either my DH became the type of man that has random sex or became emotionally involved with a woman enough to have sex would both be reasons for me never to forgive him.
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| Posted 5/28/05 10:16 PM |
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bella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1871 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Yup, in a heartbeat...once a cheater...always a cheater...
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| Posted 5/28/05 10:21 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by bella
Yup, in a heartbeat...once a cheater...always a cheater...
Not always true.
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:13 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheating...would you leave?
Posted by june262004
Posted by bella
Yup, in a heartbeat...once a cheater...always a cheater...
Not always true.
i dont know how i feel about this IF it affected me personally b/c ive never 'cheated' or been cheated on... BUT the 1 thing i do think is that its different for people that are just 'dating' than people who are actually Married. Some people may take dating lightly, but Marriage more serious, so i dont know if i would assume that just b/c someone cheated while they were dating someone that they would do it when they are married.
But if someone DID do it while they were married, then i feel like right then, theyre showing that they are capable of doing it, even when there are marital vows being compromised.
did that make any sense the way i wrote it?  
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| Posted 5/28/05 11:18 PM |
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