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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by MrsPJB2007
While I agree that there could be a negative stigma to the kids who have to do this -- I really am not sure if I am believing this happens as dramatic as the article is stating. Since the whole kids being pulled out in line seems to be something that is being offered as a 3rd hand account -- and they said "they've HEARD stories" about it.
I'm sure they don't do it quite in such a horrible fashion everyday. But regardless -- yes it can stink for the kids who have to deal, but what other solution is there? No matter how they do it, whether its quietly or not, its gonna be hard for those who can't afford the lunch.
I agree. I doubt there are food Gestapos waiting to embarrass children at the start of lunch lines because their families are poor. I wonder how many of those that were interviewed came from homes with cellphones, flat screened TV's, etc.
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Posted 2/25/09 4:18 PM  |
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Ophelia
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Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by LuvmyShihTzu
Flame me if need be, but I think that it's NICE of the school to give free cheese sandwiches and milk! When I was in school, either I brought lunch or paid for it...there were never any handouts!
no flames here, but I don't consider providing basic nutrition to hungry kids being "nice". I consider it a DUTY of us as adults in this world.
ETA: and that is regardless of what the parents have or do.
no child should suffer due to their parents situation, be it dire straights, or pure selfishness.
Message edited 2/25/2009 4:21:42 PM.
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:20 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by MrsPJB2007
While I agree that there could be a negative stigma to the kids who have to do this -- I really am not sure if I am believing this happens as dramatic as the article is stating. Since the whole kids being pulled out in line seems to be something that is being offered as a 3rd hand account -- and they said "they've HEARD stories" about it.
I'm sure they don't do it quite in such a horrible fashion everyday. But regardless -- yes it can stink for the kids who have to deal, but what other solution is there? No matter how they do it, whether its quietly or not, its gonna be hard for those who can't afford the lunch.
I agree. I don't think it's as dramatic as the article is suggesting.
Besides, I'm on the fence about the coddling that kids are getting now - within sports, schools, etc.
I was poor as a kid, and received free lunch for all of elementary school. Everyone in my school knew who the "poor" kids were - by our clothes, free lunches, etc. We just dealt with it. My parents didn't call the school or the newspaper to complain. If we complained to our parents, they just told us to suck it up and that's life.
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:21 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
My SIL lives in Albequerque and our nephew attends public school there, according to what my SIL says the area has a lot of problems. It's a city with a LOT of poverty and as a result the schools deal with a lot of deliquency issues ranging from truency to unpaid school lunches.
The schools need to do something; at least they are providing these children with a balanced meal. This is most likely their ONLY balanced meal of the day.
I think it was incredibly unfair for the article to quote the 7 yr old girl who said "Every time I eat it, it makes me feel like I want to throw up".
While my heart breaks for her that she's embarrassed to eat the sandwhich she's also lucky she got anything to eat that day. I'm sure she'd have rather had that sandwhich than go hungry.
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:22 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by Jenn627
I agree. I don't think it's as dramatic as the article is suggesting.
Besides, I'm on the fence about the coddling that kids are getting now - within sports, schools, etc.
I was poor as a kid, and received free lunch for all of elementary school. Everyone in my school knew who the "poor" kids were - by our clothes, free lunches, etc. We just dealt with it. My parents didn't call the school or the newspaper to complain. If we complained to our parents, they just told us to suck it up and that's life.
oh, so true!!!!!!
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:26 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
It's horrible that those kids are being pulled off lunch lines & I think there is a better way to go about explaining that they're getting a cheese sandwich - before they get on line. I also think it's an incentive for those parents that could qualify for the free lunch program but choose not to go through the official paperwork to do it.
As for the kid that's never going to eat a cheese sandwich again,  . I hate to say it but a loaf of bread & some peanut butter isn't going to put devastate anyone as they're waiting for their application to be processed.
As I've told my kids before you don't have to love every meal. It's supposed to provide nutrition. Lucky for me I have a daughter who loves tomato & cheese sandwiches.
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:26 PM |
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Tabitha
Member since 2/07 2029 total posts
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
good for the school for giving the kids a nice, balanced lunch. i think the parents should be grateful.
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:28 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
I hope the kids aren't lactose intolerant!
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:29 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
The way I see it, the parents are not taking enough responsibility. Either find out about the free lunch if you qualify or make lunch at home and send it. A sandwich made at home would cost less than $1.00.
I always brought my lunch to school until I got to HS and I had my own spending $$. my mom couldn't afford to give all of us money for lunch, so if we wanted to buy something, she gave us $5.00 for the week (which basically bought us a drink) and anything else we paid for. I was not ostracized or damaged by everyone knowing I brought my lunch. I think the school is trying the best they can to deal with a tough situation.
ETA - I have worked in schools with poor and immigrant children - families who didn't have a lot of money. I think this is more of an issue of being ostracized because your parent is not paying their bills than it is about being poor. If the kids are embarrassed by this, it's sad, but again, I think the parents are to blame for this.
Message edited 2/25/2009 4:45:01 PM.
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| Posted 2/25/09 4:38 PM |
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freshstuff
I would do me
Member since 5/08 1188 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
At the school here they have these debit cards for school lunch so no one can tell who's is free or not. Everyone loves getting the school lunch here even people who don't qualify for it so no one will get ostracized. For those who don't qualify for reduced or free prices lunch you get a bill sent monthly for all the breakfasts, milk, lunches your child ate. My son brings his own lunch but if he gets a chocolate milk his debit card is swiped and I get a bill at the end of the month.
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| Posted 2/25/09 5:28 PM |
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Arieschick29
aries+cancer= pisces&gemini
Member since 3/06 4268 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Just to throw in another perspective as a teacher myself.....
Most of the kids in my school (Newburgh NY) are economically dissadvantaged. They get PB and J for free if they didnt pay for hot lunch and didnt qualify for free/reduced lunch.
I can see the whole pov that the kids are embarassed etc BUT most of these students who do this in my school also come in wearing Sean John/ RocaWear/ having their hair braided etc.
Why is it ok for parents to spend their $ on clothes and looking good but to neglect their child with lunch and then complain about the free food they are getting?!?!
I'm so tired of seeing parents who are young to start with and who keep having kids ( I'm talking 5+ children in a family) and keep expecting and thinking they are entitled to a certain lifestyle- and I'm not talking about ones who recently lost jobs and now are struggling. I'm talking about food stamps and continuous abuse of the system.
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| Posted 2/25/09 5:42 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by Arieschick29
Just to throw in another perspective as a teacher myself.....
Most of the kids in my school (Newburgh NY) are economically dissadvantaged. They get PB and J for free if they didnt pay for hot lunch and didnt qualify for free/reduced lunch.
I can see the whole pov that the kids are embarassed etc BUT most of these students who do this in my school also come in wearing Sean John/ RocaWear/ having their hair braided etc.
Why is it ok for parents to spend their $ on clothes and looking good but to neglect their child with lunch and then complain about the free food they are getting?!?!
I'm so tired of seeing parents who are young to start with and who keep having kids ( I'm talking 5+ children in a family) and keep expecting and thinking they are entitled to a certain lifestyle- and I'm not talking about ones who recently lost jobs and now are struggling. I'm talking about food stamps and continuous abuse of the system.
I agree with you. completely.
but from the perspective of the child, how much control does the child have over how the parent "budgets" (or rather, SPENDS) the household income.
people are so freaking worried about "looking" poor...it's backasswards the mentality.
I'll dress my kids in name brand stuff so they'll look good, but I won't pay their lunch bill so they sit there eating their tell tale sandwich while their friends get a hot meal.
the hottest thing about the situation is the parents...they are HOT messes
my elementary school gave free lunch to everyone. we just paid for milk and snack. (I can recall more than one occassion where my teachers put in mik money for me)
in JHS and HS, I didn't get free lunch. I didn't get any lunch. and I didn't have any money, so I basically starved all day until I got home. at that age, I guess it was no big and we were allowed out for lunch break so again, it wasn't as noticable who ate what (NO ONE ever went into the lunch room  )
again, I don't think the school is doing much wrong here. I just think all around, it's not ideal.
I would like to know, however, if that 7-year-old would put any of her possessions on ebay in order to pay for her lunch bill.....
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| Posted 2/25/09 5:50 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Why cant they just grill the sandwhiches and call it a day.
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| Posted 2/25/09 6:25 PM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by Ophelia
being made acutely aware of how poor you are by your peers at a young age sucks. it really does. kids can be beaten down emotionally by money problems too...it's not an adult-only worry.
it's really a catch-22. you can't keep paying for the debt, but you don't want to not feed the kids, but the stringent meal plan for them makes them stick out like a sore thumb.
and while their friends get pizza and chicken nuggets (*barf  *) you are eating a cold sandwich.
psychologically, it can be demoralizing.
but physically, it satisfies the need for basic nutrition.
This is my feelings exactly.. I know as a child I was always ashamed of being less fortunate than ALL of my friends.. This would definately have mortified me.. I would probably go without eating.. I do feel the school is trying to right and not intentionally humiliating kids.... but as a child I KNOW it would have had a negative effect on me.. Especially in my school where the kids I knew were so abusive and mean they looked for this stuff to jump on.. Gosh if you didnt have Jordache jeans you were tortured.. I know now I dated myself.. 
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| Posted 2/25/09 6:38 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
What a horrible stigma to put on these kids and their families. Ugghhhhh.... things like these stick with kids and affect them forever.
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| Posted 2/25/09 6:58 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
like others have said, what's so terrible about cheese and fruit? 
when I went to school I ate pizza, gross burgers or buttered bagels and chips.
that's actually much more nutritious
I can't believe people are actually complaining about this!!! times are tough, turn on the news
eta: if these parents can't afford $1 for lunch every now and then, re-prioritize! maybe send your kids to school WITH lunch. there's an original thought!
Message edited 2/25/2009 7:18:14 PM.
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| Posted 2/25/09 7:15 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
I was on the reduced lunch program all through primary and middle school. We had different color tickets so everyone else knew that I was on reduced lunch. I told my parents that I was embarrassed one time and was promptly reminded that we could have it worse, but we were privileged to have what we did.
A couple times, I got a "courtesy" lunch because I either forgot to bring in my lunch money or ask my parents for the money or I lost my lunch ticket. I felt bad, mostly because every one else was eating hot lunch and I had a cold sandwich (that was not lovingly packed by my parents, because I did bring in cold lunch plenty).
I don't see what the problem is. The child is getting a lunch. Cheese sandwiches, fruit and milk is not child abuse. Hopefully, these kids will learn that they will work their hardest to never have to send their kids to school without a lunch.
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| Posted 2/25/09 10:05 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
For the record...we were on welfare when I was a kid and everyone knew because I had a special lunch card.
You know what -
A: I survived just fine
B: I learned how to deal with negativity
C: I was never "too embarrassed" to eat my lunch.
People today are way too coddled. Maybe a dose of reality is what some of these kids need.
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| Posted 2/25/09 10:14 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by Gertyrae
For the record...we were on welfare when I was a kid and everyone knew because I had a special lunch card.
You know what -
A: I survived just fine
B: I learned how to deal with negativity
C: I was never "too embarrassed" to eat my lunch.
People today are way too coddled. Maybe a dose of reality is what some of these kids need.
Same here and ITA. There are worse things in life than cheese sandwhiches- they'll deal.
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| Posted 2/26/09 1:52 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
it's not the cheese sandwiches (although lactose intolerance does come to mind), it's the program, the parents and the stigma attached to it.
I think there could be a better way. For the most part, it shouldn't be the kids that have to suck it up. The parents need to push the issue if they really can't afford it. Programs are in place for a reason, if they don't qualify and they are truly in need then something needs fixing. If the parents are not doing what the're supposed to do then they need a reality check.
Again, not that cheese sandwiches are bad (love my cheese) but the way it's being done is not sitting right with me.
Btw-I always hated my elementary school lunch but I took lunches most days. (date nut bread and cream cheese sandwiches anyone?) We were not poor but I liked that sandwich and it was cheap.
DH's parents were not so lucky and he felt deprived in so many ways. That feeling has stayed with him to this day. Our money discussions center around that so I believe it stays with kids. I believe it's what has postponed our trying to have kids (now we're really paying the price)
As adults now we can judge the parents and tell the kids, yeah you're lucky..suck it up, but many of us never had to deal with that and can't put ourselves in these kids shoes. (I know some have posted that they were in that situation and came out fine)
I shared plenty of lunches with my less fortunate classmates. They always felt bad. I will never forget those days. I thought nothing of it then, but they did. I visited their homes and they really were struggling. They ate at my house intermittently. My parents were very generous. We were middle class, my family didn't go on vacations or buy fancy cars or clothes but we always had food on the table. I never felt deprived.
This is just my opinion about the situation as stated in the article. It may be dramatized for impact and I hope it is but I personally know how this can affect kids.
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| Posted 2/26/09 9:08 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by Ophelia
I think the problem is that the children may be Ostracized if it is known that a cheese sandwich, milk, and fruit is the "poor, debt ridden" kids meal.
but other than that, food is food. I am glad they are still feeding them. far too many children in THIS country go to bed hungry every night 
I don't think we can just expect these debts to be absorbed ad infinitum.
Yep thats what I was going to say. Cheese sandwich stigma
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| Posted 2/26/09 10:49 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by MrsPJB2007
While it does seem sad at first--at least they are giving the students SOME food. It appears that this is something that is happening after the parents have been notified that they can no longer charge the meals.
Honestly, a cheese sandwich, fruit, and milk is a pretty balanced meal considering the circumstances, its not like the kids are getting water and cracker.
At some point the schools have to do something if the costs are rising for those who aren't paying the cost of their child's school lunches.
Yeah I totally agree. I was reading this and wondering what the outrage is!! The parents can't affor for the lunch so the kids ar gettinga FREE lunch...pretty good like the pp mentioned. Well balanced. It's free!!! The parents couldn't pay for the lunch food!!!
Maybe the income levels should be dropped for assistance but Im still not outraged at this at all!!! They are being fed for free!!
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| Posted 2/26/09 10:54 AM |
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LuvmyShihTzu
<3 I <3 my DD <3
Member since 8/08 3325 total posts
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Happiest Mommy <3
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by LuvmyShihTzu
Flame me if need be, but I think that it's NICE of the school to give free cheese sandwiches and milk! When I was in school, either I brought lunch or paid for it...there were never any handouts!
no flames here, but I don't consider providing basic nutrition to hungry kids being "nice". I consider it a DUTY of us as adults in this world.
ETA: and that is regardless of what the parents have or do.
no child should suffer due to their parents situation, be it dire straights, or pure selfishness.
I agree 100%! I think they are absolutely wrong if they single-out these kids and embarass them, but also think that it is nice of them to provide the less fortunate with something...KWIM?
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| Posted 2/26/09 10:57 AM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
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Me!! All about ME!
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Now I'm in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich.
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| Posted 2/26/09 11:56 AM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Cheese Sandwiches
Posted by Blu-ize
it's not the cheese sandwiches (although lactose intolerance does come to mind), it's the program, the parents and the stigma attached to it.
the stigma???? how so? If you're poor, you're poor. Parents AND children should have to deal with it. Why does everyone feel the need to shelter kids from everything. Like now, some schools can't use red pens? I think it's ridiculous.
If a kid is lactose-intolerant, I'm SURE if the school is notified, they'll provide him/her with something different.
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| Posted 2/26/09 12:13 PM |
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