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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Child helping him/herself to food
I am curious as to what to norm is on this, after having a convo with my MIL yesterday. If you have a toddler/young child (say, anywhere from like 1-4), do you allow them to help themselves to food? Or do they need to ask first? I am talking mainly about in your own home, or somewhere they are very comfortable, like grandparent's house.
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Posted 10/28/12 11:38 AM  |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
In my house we have a drawer in our refrigerator with cheese sticks, grapes, and apples, or other healthy snacks. My kids know they are allowed to go in and take them when they want. But there is no eating after 8 pm until breakfast the next day. Other types of snacks they need to ask before they can take them. They do ask before they take it, but they know I have veto power and I do say no when it is dinner time and I am making dinner. I will have them wait as not to spoil their appetites. My kids are 3 and 5. I only started letting them do this about 6 months ago. Before then I would get them everything, every time.
Message edited 10/28/2012 12:00:13 PM.
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| Posted 10/28/12 11:57 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
My DD is 4 and we have never, nor will we in the immediate future, let her help herself to food other than her milk or water cup in the fridge. Kids don't have the capacity to control themselves, especially around junky types of food. I like to control her portions and how much junk she eats so we don't allow her to help herself to anything.
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| Posted 10/28/12 12:10 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Child helping him/herself to food
Ok, I feel better seeing these responses. Here's what happened: we were at my ILs house and I was getting my younger son up from his nap. I turned around and saw my older son (who is 2.5) in the kitchen with a tub of pretzels sticks on the floor (which I know had previously been on the counter) and he was taking one out. I said, "Excuse me, are you supposed to take food without asking?" My MIL replied, "Yes, of course he can." And I said, "No, he can't." And she said, "At Grandma's house, he can." So I said, "No, he can't. He can't do that anywhere, and he knows that." And she said, "Even at home???" like this was a crazy notion. So then I thought maybe I was the weird one! Glad to see I'm not 
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| Posted 10/28/12 2:30 PM |
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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
DS has a shelf in the fridge with yogurt and fruit that he can reach. He will almost always ask me or someone if he can get something. On occasion he will get it and bring it to me for me to open.. He doesn't have access to his snacks or other foods that I don't want him eating all day..
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| Posted 10/28/12 2:47 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
I didnt quite know how to answer as the age range is quite large. While at 2 1/2 I would not allow DS to just go in the fridge and take what he wanted, come age 3/4 they start to become more independent and can take on more responsibilities.
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| Posted 10/28/12 5:11 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Child helping him/herself to food
ds knows he can take his drink cup out of the fridge(if its not filled, then obviously we need to help him)....
We use to let me take snacks out when he wanted it..... BUT we recently cut back on his snacking so now he asks us if he can have something, and if we say its ok,then he will go get the snack, and if needed the spoon from the kitchen....
RE: IL's house we visit... If they are watching him and we aren't there, he will take stuff off their counter, and they'll let him have it(I've resorted to the idea that grandma/grandpa's want to keep the kid happy as much as possible).... BUT if we are there for a dinner, if ds tries to take something in front of them, when we aren't in the kitchen then they try to remember to ask us if ds can eat it.
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| Posted 10/28/12 5:18 PM |
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iluvmynutty
Mom to E&M
Member since 12/08 1762 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
My DD is 2 1/2 and i keep all food out of reach for safety reasons. She chokes/gags very easily so an adult must be aware that she is eating/has food. Plus if she had free range of the kitchen, she would snack all day and never eat meals.
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| Posted 10/28/12 6:46 PM |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
DS is almost 3 and he has to ask. The kitchen is off limits and has a locked gate on it because we live in a rental and could not babyproof the cabinets as much as we would like. So, he has no choice. He must ask and we must get it for him.
At my parents he does the same.
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| Posted 10/28/12 10:02 PM |
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Purplegirl77
i love my kids!
Member since 1/09 1963 total posts
Name:
Debbie
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
Posted by iluvmynutty
My DD is 2 1/2 and i keep all food out of reach for safety reasons. She chokes/gags very easily so an adult must be aware that she is eating/has food. Plus if she had free range of the kitchen, she would snack all day and never eat meals.
Same here (dd is 3). Sometimes I have to use a baby lock on my fridge.
OP!!!!! Omg ITA with u!!!!! Ugh & how frustrating that she did that to u.
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| Posted 10/29/12 5:00 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
My 2 and 4 yo pretty much can get what they want. Most of the snacks in the house is for them . They never overeat. The only time I'll say no is it right before dinner. Both kids are very lean, they def have built in portion control :) I always get their drinks bc they are too small to get it themselves. They also help themselves at inlaws. My 2 yo is actually the bigger snacker
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| Posted 10/29/12 8:23 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
Posted by Hofstra26
My DD is 4 and we have never, nor will we in the immediate future, let her help herself to food other than her milk or water cup in the fridge. Kids don't have the capacity to control themselves, especially around junky types of food. I like to control her portions and how much junk she eats so we don't allow her to help herself to anything.
It's so funny how different kids are! Mine have been allowed to get what they want since they were very small. They are so good with the amount they eat, how often they snack. And they are both very thin, so I know they are not over eating
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| Posted 10/29/12 8:28 AM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
DS is 4.5 but I would say since he could clearly communicate what he wanted he has been allowed to get what he wants...but he does know he has to ask first.
I really dont see the issue with that, I still have control of what he is having, and how much but with 2 kids seriously I can't always drop what I am doing with DS2 to run for DS1 to have something to eat!
At my ILs house I will say, if I am not there, he has more free reign, MIL will never say no so I guess asking is a bit useless!
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| Posted 10/29/12 12:23 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
Posted by Hofstra26
My DD is 4 and we have never, nor will we in the immediate future, let her help herself to food other than her milk or water cup in the fridge. Kids don't have the capacity to control themselves, especially around junky types of food. I like to control her portions and how much junk she eats so we don't allow her to help herself to anything.
This is just not true!
Kids can learn to listen to their bodies.
My son is not even 3 and if I give him a whole container of something, he will eat a little and say "I'm done. My belly is all full now." He does this even with his favorite "treat" of yogurt-covered raisins.
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| Posted 10/29/12 2:20 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
Posted by maybeamommy
Posted by Hofstra26
My DD is 4 and we have never, nor will we in the immediate future, let her help herself to food other than her milk or water cup in the fridge. Kids don't have the capacity to control themselves, especially around junky types of food. I like to control her portions and how much junk she eats so we don't allow her to help herself to anything.
This is just not true!
Kids can learn to listen to their bodies.
My son is not even 3 and if I give him a whole container of something, he will eat a little and say "I'm done. My belly is all full now." He does this even with his favorite "treat" of yogurt-covered raisins.
Actually, as they get older it is quite true. I have a few cousins whose parents never regulated them and they were always allowed to help themselves from a young age and as they got older they would come home from school (elementary through high school) and just snack all afternoon and ruin their appetites and over time they lost that ability to stop when they were satisfied.
My DD (4) stops eating when she's full however, I still don't feel that kids should help themselves whenever they want. I just wasn't raised that way and its not how I raise my daughter. And even now, if given the choice she will always choose the crappy snacks (granola bars, cookies, pretzels) before healthier food. I think that's just human nature and I don't want her snacking on junk all day.
In any case, I am not going to argue because I don't really care what others do with their kids. To each his own. But for me, I don't believe in it, I like to decide what and how much my DD gets because as an adult I can make better choices for her than she can make for herself at this age. End of story.
Message edited 10/29/2012 2:34:31 PM.
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| Posted 10/29/12 2:33 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by maybeamommy
Posted by Hofstra26
My DD is 4 and we have never, nor will we in the immediate future, let her help herself to food other than her milk or water cup in the fridge. Kids don't have the capacity to control themselves, especially around junky types of food. I like to control her portions and how much junk she eats so we don't allow her to help herself to anything.
This is just not true!
Kids can learn to listen to their bodies.
My son is not even 3 and if I give him a whole container of something, he will eat a little and say "I'm done. My belly is all full now." He does this even with his favorite "treat" of yogurt-covered raisins.
Actually, as they get older it is quite true. I have a few cousins whose parents never regulated them and they were always allowed to help themselves from a young age and as they got older they would come home from school (elementary through high school) and just snack all afternoon and ruin their appetites and over time they lost that ability to stop when they were satisfied.
My DD (4) stops eating when she's full however, I still don't feel that kids should help themselves whenever they want. I just wasn't raised that way and its not how I raise my daughter. And even now, if given the choice she will always choose the crappy snacks (granola bars, cookies, pretzels) before healthier food. I think that's just human nature and I don't want her snacking on junk all day.
In any case, I am not going to argue because I don't really care what others do with their kids. To each his own. But for me, I don't believe in it, I like to decide what and how much my DD gets because as an adult I can make better choices for her than she can make for herself at this age. End of story.
Was not trying to argue with you at all.
I don't just let him go and help himself to snacks. If he says he wants blueberries, sometimes I will just give him the container of blueberries and let him eat.
My parents let us do the same and believe me, I don't have any problem controlling myself around food.
I wouldn't give him a whole package of cookies or "junk" food - but we don't really eat that kind of stuff anyway.
I'm just saying that I do want him to learn to control himself... I can't always monitor what he eats and how much, so I want him to learn to listen to his body. KWIM?
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| Posted 10/29/12 2:48 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
Posted by maybeamommy
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by maybeamommy
Posted by Hofstra26
My DD is 4 and we have never, nor will we in the immediate future, let her help herself to food other than her milk or water cup in the fridge. Kids don't have the capacity to control themselves, especially around junky types of food. I like to control her portions and how much junk she eats so we don't allow her to help herself to anything.
This is just not true!
Kids can learn to listen to their bodies.
My son is not even 3 and if I give him a whole container of something, he will eat a little and say "I'm done. My belly is all full now." He does this even with his favorite "treat" of yogurt-covered raisins.
Actually, as they get older it is quite true. I have a few cousins whose parents never regulated them and they were always allowed to help themselves from a young age and as they got older they would come home from school (elementary through high school) and just snack all afternoon and ruin their appetites and over time they lost that ability to stop when they were satisfied.
My DD (4) stops eating when she's full however, I still don't feel that kids should help themselves whenever they want. I just wasn't raised that way and its not how I raise my daughter. And even now, if given the choice she will always choose the crappy snacks (granola bars, cookies, pretzels) before healthier food. I think that's just human nature and I don't want her snacking on junk all day.
In any case, I am not going to argue because I don't really care what others do with their kids. To each his own. But for me, I don't believe in it, I like to decide what and how much my DD gets because as an adult I can make better choices for her than she can make for herself at this age. End of story.
Was not trying to argue with you at all.
I don't just let him go and help himself to snacks. If he says he wants blueberries, sometimes I will just give him the container of blueberries and let him eat.
My parents let us do the same and believe me, I don't have any problem controlling myself around food.
I wouldn't give him a whole package of cookies or "junk" food - but we don't really eat that kind of stuff anyway.
I'm just saying that I do want him to learn to control himself... I can't always monitor what he eats and how much, so I want him to learn to listen to his body. KWIM?
I totally understand what you're saying. Didn't mean to sound argumentative. 
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| Posted 10/29/12 2:58 PM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
My 2 yr old goes in his draw and will pull out a box of raisins or fruit loops or cheerios or goldfish and a bowl (he knows he eats it out of a bowl not the bag  )
To add: he doesnt do,it often but when he really wants he will
Other than that he asks me.
Message edited 10/29/2012 4:32:31 PM.
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| Posted 10/29/12 4:30 PM |
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Child helping him/herself to food
DS asks for a snack and can get one himself - usually before bed. Our fridge is ontop of the freezer so he can't reach anything there.
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| Posted 10/29/12 5:01 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
Ds tells us if he's hungry.
We are not fans of snacks as it decreases his dinner (when he gets his proteins). DS would exclusively snack... He has eaten so many tomatoes he had the most horrible acid diaper rash and if he has bread in front of him (we get only whole wheat), he wouldn't eat anything else.
We cook our dinners for him too and enforce no snacking... Even at grandmas. I think mil cheats... But you can only do so much.
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| Posted 10/31/12 7:59 AM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
My boys are 2 and 4 and they have to ask us (or anyone else) for food when they are hungry.
I do it in part to know what they are eating, and in part because they won't make a mess of my cupboard or refrigerator
Your MIL sounds like she is just being contrary- I think you are right.
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| Posted 10/31/12 9:15 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Child helping him/herself to food
I think it's appropriate that they ask first. I feel the parents should monitor what their child eats and that's an easy way to do it...
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| Posted 10/31/12 11:09 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Child helping him/herself to food
I don't think at 2 years old, my DD can get anything on her own anyway.
My cabinets are up high, my fridge door is hard to open.
So she has to ask.
Not to mention she is a princess and looks at us as her servents anyway.
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| Posted 10/31/12 11:21 AM |
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