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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
I'm seriously flabbergasted by some of the things I have read
I'm so glad so that so many can take their kids out and they never have gotten away. But you know what that's not always the case. And it happened everyday. In many places. Parks. Supermarkets. Malls. Zoos.
And according to some these people are shit parents
That's a harsh harsh statement to make. Calling all her years of parenting out bc she lost site of one while buckling. In another. Yep. Bc of this her kids should be taken away,she's a lousy parent,can't control her kids. And everything else under the sun
And as for the kid told her he was going to climb in,well my kids tell me they are going to Disney every day. Do I believe them.
She turned around he was gone. Everyone is acting like she kicked back and said ehhhh they will find him
The lack of empathy is scary. Scary bc it is coming from other mothers. Who while this may not ever happen to them,you would think they would know better than anyone how hard a job this is. How overwhelming. How things can change in a second.
But no. We shame her. We are our own worst enemy
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Posted 5/31/16 5:29 PM  |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by FirstMate
This whole "controversy" is really agitating me.
If the zoo delayed in reacting or tried tranquilizing the gorilla first and that kid was killed, the public outrage would be enormous. Every animal expert I have seen giving commentary on this is 100% supportive of the zoo's decision. The peanut gallery needs to take a seat.
Speaking of the peanut gallery, I wonder how many of the critics are parents. If they are a parent, I wonder how often, if at all, they take their small child out in public. Anyone that has taken their kid anywhere, especially a place that is exciting and stimulating like a zoo or a carnival or an amusement park, etc., knows how fast your kid can escape you and fall out of sight. Any parent who says they have never ever lost sight of their kid is a liar. The way this mother is being villainized is disgraceful.
This whole incident is a terrible tragedy but it was an accident. That's that.
I am parent of two small kids (ages 3 and 7). I've taken them to amusement parks, zoos, parks, stores, EVERYWHERE and when I am in public with them, I'm on them like a hawk! I've never lost sight of my kids in a public place, NOT EVER. They are either right next to me holding the wagon, holding my hand, or in the stroller. Please explain how you manage to lost sight of your child long enough for them to climb a wall into a gorilla cage??!?!
I'm so tired of this nonsense where people excuse every bit of $hit parenting out there. We make excuses for why someone left their kid in a hot car and their child died, now we're making excuses for a parent who couldn't watch their kid well enough to avoid them gaining access to a gorilla cage, and we continue to excuse parents whose actions result in a thousand other horrifying things you hear about in the news.
This was a case of lousy parenting, there is NO excuse for your FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD to be able to make his way into a gorilla habitat. Call me a b!tch but I blame the mother 100% and if she was watching her child the entire incident wouldn't have occurred. She should count her lucky stars that gorilla didn't kill her kid! I've had enough of this PC cr@p where we aren't suppose to criticize or blame the parent. BS. There is a ton of $hit parenting out there that SHOULD be called out so that things like this don't happen in the future.
I can't tell you how many times I see kids in public running all over the place with no parent in sight. Or with some parent off in the distance too busy with their phone to bother giving a cr@p that their kids are running all over the place. I see it ALL the time. NOT every parent is a good parent. NOT everyone watches their kids like they should. So can we as a society just stop pretending like those facts aren't true. Call a spade a spade................some parents SUCK at their job. Period.
Additionally, I also blame the zoo because they should have proper safety measures in place at all of their exhibits so something like this cannot ever happen. If a 4 yr old can so easily make their way into the exhibit that means the zoo failed both its patrons and its animals.
I think it was a very unfortunate accident and while I realize there was likely no other choice but to kill this animal I just find it sad that an innocent animal had to die because of stupid human mistakes. I think people are more upset that this had to happen in the first place and not so much that the only choice was to kill the gorilla. If the zoo had proper measures in place and the parents were on top of their kids, none of this would've had to happen.
ETA - And before it's typed................no, I do NOT think I am a perfect parent but I won't excuse someone else's cr@p parenting when I see it. That mom failed her child. That zoo failed its animals and patrons.
Let me ask you a question. If you were out with your kids and one let go of the stroller and ran off into the parking lot. Someone grabbed him before he got hurt.
Would you be ok with the world questioning your parenting You would know deep down that he has never done this before. But the world doesn't. And they would call
You irresponsible. Say you couldn't handle
Your kids. And would that be fair
Now you can turn and say it has never happened to you. And that's great. But the reality is it can happen to any of us
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:33 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by bunnyluck
It's the parents' fault regardless oh why it happened. That's part of being a parent, you're responsible no doubt about it. Durant mathere why.
But whether or not she's a bad parent we really don't know. No one knows her or was there or really knows what happened. We can speculate all we want, but it's kind of silly until we have more information... I think people are too quick to jump to conclusions without evidence and that's the problem.
I thinkthe point some of the pp are trying to make is, there is just a difference between whether she was on her phone playing candy crush and her son jumped in or if he son jumped in when she was giving the heimlach to a second child, KWIM. Obviously, the latter is not likely, chances are she just tuned out but it's possible (or something similar) and could happen to even the most diligent parent.
Several eyewitnesses there came forward and have all said the same thing. She was strapping one into the stroller and he took off
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:37 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by gina409
I'm seriously flabbergasted by some of the things I have read
I'm so glad so that so many can take their kids out and they never have gotten away. But you know what that's not always the case. And it happened everyday. In many places. Parks. Supermarkets. Malls. Zoos.
And according to some these people are shit parents
That's a harsh harsh statement to make. Calling all her years of parenting out bc she lost site of one while buckling. In another. Yep. Bc of this her kids should be taken away,she's a lousy parent,can't control her kids. And everything else under the sun
And as for the kid told her he was going to climb in,well my kids tell me they are going to Disney every day. Do I believe them.
She turned around he was gone. Everyone is acting like she kicked back and said ehhhh they will find him
The lack of empathy is scary. Scary bc it is coming from other mothers. Who while this may not ever happen to them,you would think they would know better than anyone how hard a job this is. How overwhelming. How things can change in a second.
But no. We shame her. We are our own worst enemy
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:37 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Sorry. I'm just seriosuly shocked at some of the name
Calling comments.
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:38 PM |
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Momof3boys
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 306 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
I have three kids VERY close in age! Just wondering if those who judge have more than 1 or 2 and just the age gap is?
For those who have multiples and singletons (all under Three or Four)....just curious as to your thoughts?
Not sure how many kids this mom had with her, but it's very hard to keep your eyes on all. Unless maybe you have eyes on the back of your head!
I am not the perfect mom (who is??), but I watch my three young kids very very closely when in public and when you have a crying baby and two more under three years old, it's quite difficult. I don't enjoy taking all of mine places alone. It's very stressful for me. If they are at a park, who do you run after and who do you turn your back on for that split second? It sucks. I usually leave one of mine at home with my husband for their safely and my sanity.
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:43 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by gina409
I'm seriously flabbergasted by some of the things I have read
I'm so glad so that so many can take their kids out and they never have gotten away. But you know what that's not always the case. And it happened everyday. In many places. Parks. Supermarkets. Malls. Zoos.
And according to some these people are shit parents
That's a harsh harsh statement to make. Calling all her years of parenting out bc she lost site of one while buckling. In another. Yep. Bc of this her kids should be taken away,she's a lousy parent,can't control her kids. And everything else under the sun
And as for the kid told her he was going to climb in,well my kids tell me they are going to Disney every day. Do I believe them.
She turned around he was gone. Everyone is acting like she kicked back and said ehhhh they will find him
The lack of empathy is scary. Scary bc it is coming from other mothers. Who while this may not ever happen to them,you would think they would know better than anyone how hard a job this is. How overwhelming. How things can change in a second.
But no. We shame her. We are our own worst enemy
Yep. Long gone are the days of "it takes a village" and supporting one another.
Glad I don't surround myself with people who are ready to crucify another fellow mother.
Karma is a you-know-what for those sanctimommies.
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:51 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
I have a story...
When my kids were 3 and 5 we went to Disney and were at the hotel pool area. I was alone with the kids as my DH at the last minute had to take a later flight be of work. We were in the splash area and the 3 of us went to the poolside snack bar to get drinks. I was holding their hands the entire time. When they put our drinks on the counter I let go of their hands for literally 1-2 seconds so that I could pick up the drinks. In that second my DS disappeared!! And we were near the pool! I panicked! Freaked out and started yelling for him. Immediately told a lifeguard and another lifeguard was already walking him towards me. It could have been tragic. I did everything right except let go for that 1 second to get the drinks.
People could say "she shouldn't have been alone with them" etc etc but the truth is its easy to be a Monday morning quarterback or to think it would never happen to you. Or to think that somehow our parenting is so perfect that it puts us above accidents but the fact is tragic accidents happen everyday and they are just that accidents. So instead of patting ourselves on the back for our obvious parental superiority maybe we should say there but for the grace of God go I.
Also, I think it's easier for parents of 1 child or parents of kids that have a greater age gap to judge because frankly those situations are easier.
Message edited 5/31/2016 5:55:13 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:53 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by gina409
I'm seriously flabbergasted by some of the things I have read
I'm so glad so that so many can take their kids out and they never have gotten away. But you know what that's not always the case. And it happened everyday. In many places. Parks. Supermarkets. Malls. Zoos.
And according to some these people are shit parents
That's a harsh harsh statement to make. Calling all her years of parenting out bc she lost site of one while buckling. In another. Yep. Bc of this her kids should be taken away,she's a lousy parent,can't control her kids. And everything else under the sun
And as for the kid told her he was going to climb in,well my kids tell me they are going to Disney every day. Do I believe them.
She turned around he was gone. Everyone is acting like she kicked back and said ehhhh they will find him
The lack of empathy is scary. Scary bc it is coming from other mothers. Who while this may not ever happen to them,you would think they would know better than anyone how hard a job this is. How overwhelming. How things can change in a second.
But no. We shame her. We are our own worst enemy
The level of vitriol over this incident is amazing to me.
People calling for these parents to be investigated by CPS and having their kids taken away? Holy shit that is extreme. I'm not saying this isn't the fault of the parents, who didn't keep up with the kid, but it is not like the kid was running around alone the entire time. He was with his mom and got away from her for a minute. That one minute is all it takes for something to happen and in this case, something did. Now the parents have to deal with an entire nation telling him they are POS parents.
Can you imagine if you were being dragged through the mud for ONE MOMENT of "bad parenting" and how your entire existence as a mom would be questioned for it? I don't care what people say, no one here is perfect.
Yes the kid got away and climbed under some fence and fell into the pit, but how the hell do we know how long it takes for that to happen? Everyone is acting like he took 10 minutes to do that when witnesses said he mentioned that he wanted to swim in the water and a minute later he was in there.
The whole thing was a terrible and tragic accident and the assumption that these are the worst parents ever is so over the top. I have no idea if they are or aren't, but I won't judge it based on one moment in their life. To call for their kids to be taken away or investigated by child services seems like overkill.
There are plenty of shit parents out there where we've seen kids running around with no supervision and that angers me also....but that doesn't mean these people fall into that category and the mom shouldn't be lumped into it as a scapegoat for all "bad parents." Witnesses didn't say she was letting them run around, they didn't say she was sitting down on her phone while her kids ran wile, they said she was strapping one of the 6 kids she had with her into a stroller and looked away for a minute.
But of course this board is full of perfect parents who never have had a bad moment in their entire lives, so clearly there would be no empathy. 
Message edited 5/31/2016 5:59:33 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/16 5:57 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by gina409
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by FirstMate
This whole "controversy" is really agitating me.
If the zoo delayed in reacting or tried tranquilizing the gorilla first and that kid was killed, the public outrage would be enormous. Every animal expert I have seen giving commentary on this is 100% supportive of the zoo's decision. The peanut gallery needs to take a seat.
Speaking of the peanut gallery, I wonder how many of the critics are parents. If they are a parent, I wonder how often, if at all, they take their small child out in public. Anyone that has taken their kid anywhere, especially a place that is exciting and stimulating like a zoo or a carnival or an amusement park, etc., knows how fast your kid can escape you and fall out of sight. Any parent who says they have never ever lost sight of their kid is a liar. The way this mother is being villainized is disgraceful.
This whole incident is a terrible tragedy but it was an accident. That's that.
I am parent of two small kids (ages 3 and 7). I've taken them to amusement parks, zoos, parks, stores, EVERYWHERE and when I am in public with them, I'm on them like a hawk! I've never lost sight of my kids in a public place, NOT EVER. They are either right next to me holding the wagon, holding my hand, or in the stroller. Please explain how you manage to lost sight of your child long enough for them to climb a wall into a gorilla cage??!?!
I'm so tired of this nonsense where people excuse every bit of $hit parenting out there. We make excuses for why someone left their kid in a hot car and their child died, now we're making excuses for a parent who couldn't watch their kid well enough to avoid them gaining access to a gorilla cage, and we continue to excuse parents whose actions result in a thousand other horrifying things you hear about in the news.
This was a case of lousy parenting, there is NO excuse for your FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD to be able to make his way into a gorilla habitat. Call me a b!tch but I blame the mother 100% and if she was watching her child the entire incident wouldn't have occurred. She should count her lucky stars that gorilla didn't kill her kid! I've had enough of this PC cr@p where we aren't suppose to criticize or blame the parent. BS. There is a ton of $hit parenting out there that SHOULD be called out so that things like this don't happen in the future.
I can't tell you how many times I see kids in public running all over the place with no parent in sight. Or with some parent off in the distance too busy with their phone to bother giving a cr@p that their kids are running all over the place. I see it ALL the time. NOT every parent is a good parent. NOT everyone watches their kids like they should. So can we as a society just stop pretending like those facts aren't true. Call a spade a spade................some parents SUCK at their job. Period.
Additionally, I also blame the zoo because they should have proper safety measures in place at all of their exhibits so something like this cannot ever happen. If a 4 yr old can so easily make their way into the exhibit that means the zoo failed both its patrons and its animals.
I think it was a very unfortunate accident and while I realize there was likely no other choice but to kill this animal I just find it sad that an innocent animal had to die because of stupid human mistakes. I think people are more upset that this had to happen in the first place and not so much that the only choice was to kill the gorilla. If the zoo had proper measures in place and the parents were on top of their kids, none of this would've had to happen.
ETA - And before it's typed................no, I do NOT think I am a perfect parent but I won't excuse someone else's cr@p parenting when I see it. That mom failed her child. That zoo failed its animals and patrons.
Let me ask you a question. If you were out with your kids and one let go of the stroller and ran off into the parking lot. Someone grabbed him before he got hurt.
Would you be ok with the world questioning your parenting You would know deep down that he has never done this before. But the world doesn't. And they would call
You irresponsible. Say you couldn't handle
Your kids. And would that be fair
Now you can turn and say it has never happened to you. And that's great. But the reality is it can happen to any of us
Your child FALLS INTO A GORILLA HABITAT and the world is going to question your parenting. You leave your kid in a hot car and the world is going to question your parenting. Your kid runs into the street and gets hit by a car and the world is going to question your parenting.
It's just how it goes.
Why??? Because people can't understand how something like this could happen. Because when people hear horrific things they have an opinion, a judgement, a gut reaction to what they are seeing/hearing. And because in many cases, despite the saying, it CAN'T happen to anyone for a million different reasons.
So to answer your question, I have NO doubt that if something happened with my own kids I would be held up to questioning. I am sure people would wonder what kind of parent I am. I would also be the one people would hold accountable even if it were just an accident. If not the parent, then who? Is it fair? Maybe not but it's how it goes. In this case, the zoo shares some blame because it shouldn't be that easy to enter an animal habitat but ultimately, don't we have to hold this parent accountable? How can you not?
It's an unfortunate accident but you have to wonder if the mom/dad/caretaker/whoever did everything to ensure the safety of one child while taking care of the other. Isn't it possible that maybe she didn't? Isn't it possible that maybe she could've done better? And that was my point. when I first responded. Not all parents are created equal. I'm NOT saying straight out this person was a horrible parent but what if you find out she was on her cell phone chatting while putting one kid into the stroller and because she was so distracted the other kid ran off and ended up in the gorilla habitat. What if??? Would you be as empathetic, as understanding? Or is it possible you might QUESTION her parenting and wonder what in the h-el-l she was thinking? Food for thought.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:17 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
But you did flat out day bad parenting ???
Lousy. Shit Ty. Those were your words
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:22 PM |
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Momof3boys
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 306 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Jugglemom
I have a story...
When my kids were 3 and 5 we went to Disney and were at the hotel pool area. I was alone with the kids as my DH at the last minute had to take a later flight be of work. We were in the splash area and the 3 of us went to the poolside snack bar to get drinks. I was holding their hands the entire time. When they put our drinks on the counter I let go of their hands for literally 1-2 seconds so that I could pick up the drinks. In that second my DS disappeared!! And we were near the pool! I panicked! Freaked out and started yelling for him. Immediately told a lifeguard and another lifeguard was already walking him towards me. It could have been tragic. I did everything right except let go for that 1 second to get the drinks.
People could say "she shouldn't have been alone with them" etc etc but the truth is its easy to be a Monday morning quarterback or to think it would never happen to you. Or to think that somehow our parenting is so perfect that it puts us above accidents but the fact is tragic accidents happen everyday and they are just that accidents. So instead of patting ourselves on the back for our obvious parental superiority maybe we should say there but for the grace of God go I.
Also, I think it's easier for parents of 1 child or parents of kids that have a greater age gap to judge because frankly those situations are easier.
I agree! Unless you have multiple kids close in age you shouldn't judge.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:26 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Cincinnati Zoo incident
I think there is a difference between questioning how something happened and practically calling for their heads on a silver platter.
The problem here is there was an animal involved and people lose their damn minds over animals. When a mother gets separated from their child for a moment and a pedophile kidnaps, rapes, and murders them - we don't all post about it being the moms fault and that mom should be investigated by child services. We instead express empathy and heartache.
Everyone questions how could it happen...until it happens to them. I think gina's point was how these days everyone is so quick to elevate their own parenting skills and say "NEVER EVER ME!" and then putting others down.
I believe the parents are accountable for sure and should have to compensate the zoo somehow ;if that's even possible) but I don't think a witch hunt is necessary.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:31 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by gina409
But you did flat out day bad parenting ???
Lousy. Shit Ty. Those were your words
Her kid ended up with a gorilla. Is that good parenting???
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:31 PM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Cincinnati Zoo incident
Please I'm sorry I wasn't going to comment but to bash the parents/ mom is so ridiculous. Yes maybe she was lax... Could that be... Yes.... Do we know that??? no.... Come on give me a break. A freaking GORILLA and a 4 year old.... What the hell did you expect the zoo to do??? It's a no brainer! And if that's the truth and she was putting another child in the stroller and this kid bolted I could totally see that happening. I have a 2 year old that is a runner. I've said this before on here. A RUNNER. I'm not a bad mom. I have to hold his hand NO MATTER what!!! If I let it go he's off. Now I could see if I turned down to out a child in a stroller how he would love that opportunity to run.
Give the mom a break. I didn't realize there are so man perfect moms on LI.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:35 PM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by MrsPJB2007
I think there is a difference between questioning how something happened and practically calling for their heads on a silver platter.
The problem here is there was an animal involved and people lose their damn minds over animals. When a mother gets separated from their child for a moment and a pedophile kidnaps, rapes, and murders them - we don't all post about it being the moms fault and that mom should be investigated by child services. We instead express empathy and heartache.
Everyone questions how could it happen...until it happens to them. I think gina's point was how these days everyone is so quick to elevate their own parenting skills and say "NEVER EVER ME!" and then putting others down.
I believe the parents are accountable for sure and should have to compensate the zoo somehow ;if that's even possible) but I don't think a witch hunt is necessary.
Agree!
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:37 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by gina409
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by FirstMate
This whole "controversy" is really agitating me.
If the zoo delayed in reacting or tried tranquilizing the gorilla first and that kid was killed, the public outrage would be enormous. Every animal expert I have seen giving commentary on this is 100% supportive of the zoo's decision. The peanut gallery needs to take a seat.
Speaking of the peanut gallery, I wonder how many of the critics are parents. If they are a parent, I wonder how often, if at all, they take their small child out in public. Anyone that has taken their kid anywhere, especially a place that is exciting and stimulating like a zoo or a carnival or an amusement park, etc., knows how fast your kid can escape you and fall out of sight. Any parent who says they have never ever lost sight of their kid is a liar. The way this mother is being villainized is disgraceful.
This whole incident is a terrible tragedy but it was an accident. That's that.
I am parent of two small kids (ages 3 and 7). I've taken them to amusement parks, zoos, parks, stores, EVERYWHERE and when I am in public with them, I'm on them like a hawk! I've never lost sight of my kids in a public place, NOT EVER. They are either right next to me holding the wagon, holding my hand, or in the stroller. Please explain how you manage to lost sight of your child long enough for them to climb a wall into a gorilla cage??!?!
I'm so tired of this nonsense where people excuse every bit of $hit parenting out there. We make excuses for why someone left their kid in a hot car and their child died, now we're making excuses for a parent who couldn't watch their kid well enough to avoid them gaining access to a gorilla cage, and we continue to excuse parents whose actions result in a thousand other horrifying things you hear about in the news.
This was a case of lousy parenting, there is NO excuse for your FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD to be able to make his way into a gorilla habitat. Call me a b!tch but I blame the mother 100% and if she was watching her child the entire incident wouldn't have occurred. She should count her lucky stars that gorilla didn't kill her kid! I've had enough of this PC cr@p where we aren't suppose to criticize or blame the parent. BS. There is a ton of $hit parenting out there that SHOULD be called out so that things like this don't happen in the future.
I can't tell you how many times I see kids in public running all over the place with no parent in sight. Or with some parent off in the distance too busy with their phone to bother giving a cr@p that their kids are running all over the place. I see it ALL the time. NOT every parent is a good parent. NOT everyone watches their kids like they should. So can we as a society just stop pretending like those facts aren't true. Call a spade a spade................some parents SUCK at their job. Period.
Additionally, I also blame the zoo because they should have proper safety measures in place at all of their exhibits so something like this cannot ever happen. If a 4 yr old can so easily make their way into the exhibit that means the zoo failed both its patrons and its animals.
I think it was a very unfortunate accident and while I realize there was likely no other choice but to kill this animal I just find it sad that an innocent animal had to die because of stupid human mistakes. I think people are more upset that this had to happen in the first place and not so much that the only choice was to kill the gorilla. If the zoo had proper measures in place and the parents were on top of their kids, none of this would've had to happen.
ETA - And before it's typed................no, I do NOT think I am a perfect parent but I won't excuse someone else's cr@p parenting when I see it. That mom failed her child. That zoo failed its animals and patrons.
Let me ask you a question. If you were out with your kids and one let go of the stroller and ran off into the parking lot. Someone grabbed him before he got hurt.
Would you be ok with the world questioning your parenting You would know deep down that he has never done this before. But the world doesn't. And they would call
You irresponsible. Say you couldn't handle
Your kids. And would that be fair
Now you can turn and say it has never happened to you. And that's great. But the reality is it can happen to any of us
Your child FALLS INTO A GORILLA HABITAT and the world is going to question your parenting. You leave your kid in a hot car and the world is going to question your parenting. Your kid runs into the street and gets hit by a car and the world is going to question your parenting.
It's just how it goes.
Why??? Because people can't understand how something like this could happen. Because when people hear horrific things they have an opinion, a judgement, a gut reaction to what they are seeing/hearing. And because in many cases, despite the saying, it CAN'T happen to anyone for a million different reasons.
So to answer your question, I have NO doubt that if something happened with my own kids I would be held up to questioning. I am sure people would wonder what kind of parent I am. I would also be the one people would hold accountable even if it were just an accident. If not the parent, then who? Is it fair? Maybe not but it's how it goes. In this case, the zoo shares some blame because it shouldn't be that easy to enter an animal habitat but ultimately, don't we have to hold this parent accountable? How can you not?
It's an unfortunate accident but you have to wonder if the mom/dad/caretaker/whoever did everything to ensure the safety of one child while taking care of the other. Isn't it possible that maybe she didn't? Isn't it possible that maybe she could've done better? And that was my point. when I first responded. Not all parents are created equal. I'm NOT saying straight out this person was a horrible parent but what if you find out she was on her cell phone chatting while putting one kid into the stroller and because she was so distracted the other kid ran off and ended up in the gorilla habitat. What if??? Would you be as empathetic, as understanding? Or is it possible you might QUESTION her parenting and wonder what in the h-el-l she was thinking? Food for thought.
Nowhere did it say she was on her phone. I'm not going to judge her on a "what if" scenario. You might as well list all of the things we could potentially judge this woman for doing, like what if she gave bottle rockets for the kids to shoot at the gorillas, or what if she was smoking a cigarette with her back turned to her kids?
I have to agree with some of the other posters above, accidents happen. It's horrible that this gorilla lost his life, but I'm sure this mother is beating herself up enough without the Internet helping. I know I would be.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:37 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by gina409
But you did flat out day bad parenting ???
Lousy. Shit Ty. Those were your words
Her kid ended up with a gorilla. Is that good parenting???
Sooo a kid lets go of their moms hand and runs into the street and gets hit by a car, bad parent?
A poster above said she let go of her child's hand for a second and they disappeared, if they fell into the pool, that makes her a bad parent?
Mother is strapping a baby into a car seat and tells their toddler to stay right there and turns around to do it and they look up 30 seconds later and their gone, bad parent too?
I feel like you're being overly judgmental and pious in your thinking of what makes good vs bad parents.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:37 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by gina409
But you did flat out day bad parenting ???
Lousy. Shit Ty. Those were your words
Her kid ended up with a gorilla. Is that good parenting???
If she threw the kid in,then no it's not
If a kid got away and this happened ,no I don't think it is
We obviously have way way different onions on this.
Maybe it's bc I have a. Runner. Maybe bc I have twins who go in opposite directions. Maybe you're a better mom than me. I don't know.
What I do know is I was not there. I do know that in a blink of a eye everything can change. I do know that I can't imagine how scared she must have been. I do know that empathy,compassion and sympathy are better than judgement,guilt. And blame
What I do know is I am no where near a perfect parent. I don't pretend I am. We try to survive each day with everyone healthy and happy and if at the end of the day my kids are home,I did ok that day
The next day I may not be as lucky. Bc I'm a parent. And sometimes things happen
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:40 PM |
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phoenix913
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3034 total posts
Name:
V
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Momof3boys
Posted by Jugglemom
I have a story...
When my kids were 3 and 5 we went to Disney and were at the hotel pool area. I was alone with the kids as my DH at the last minute had to take a later flight be of work. We were in the splash area and the 3 of us went to the poolside snack bar to get drinks. I was holding their hands the entire time. When they put our drinks on the counter I let go of their hands for literally 1-2 seconds so that I could pick up the drinks. In that second my DS disappeared!! And we were near the pool! I panicked! Freaked out and started yelling for him. Immediately told a lifeguard and another lifeguard was already walking him towards me. It could have been tragic. I did everything right except let go for that 1 second to get the drinks.
People could say "she shouldn't have been alone with them" etc etc but the truth is its easy to be a Monday morning quarterback or to think it would never happen to you. Or to think that somehow our parenting is so perfect that it puts us above accidents but the fact is tragic accidents happen everyday and they are just that accidents. So instead of patting ourselves on the back for our obvious parental superiority maybe we should say there but for the grace of God go I.
Also, I think it's easier for parents of 1 child or parents of kids that have a greater age gap to judge because frankly those situations are easier.
I agree! Unless you have multiple kids close in age you shouldn't judge.
And unless one of them is a runner you really, really shouldn't judge. DS2 is a runner and climber. I'm talking I've been in the bathroom for no more than 5 seconds and he's sitting on our kitchen counter.
And you know what, I've tried to do the right thing by getting him a backpack leash so that when we do go the zoo, etc. I hopefully won't ever end up in this same situation. But still people judge, give me dirty looks and make nasty comments about me treating my kid like an animal. So what is a mom supposed to do?
I'm so sick of the judging and lack of caring, empathy and understanding for other people and what they might be going through.
Hofstra, I'm so glad you've been blessed with perfect angels that would never run away from you and are good 100% of the time in public. Count your blessings and be thankful that you have easy children. Some of us didn't get so lucky.
And for the mom who was considering the leash for Disney, definitely do it. It has made our lives so much easier even with the nasty looks and comments.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:42 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by MichLiz213
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by gina409
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by FirstMate
This whole "controversy" is really agitating me.
If the zoo delayed in reacting or tried tranquilizing the gorilla first and that kid was killed, the public outrage would be enormous. Every animal expert I have seen giving commentary on this is 100% supportive of the zoo's decision. The peanut gallery needs to take a seat.
Speaking of the peanut gallery, I wonder how many of the critics are parents. If they are a parent, I wonder how often, if at all, they take their small child out in public. Anyone that has taken their kid anywhere, especially a place that is exciting and stimulating like a zoo or a carnival or an amusement park, etc., knows how fast your kid can escape you and fall out of sight. Any parent who says they have never ever lost sight of their kid is a liar. The way this mother is being villainized is disgraceful.
This whole incident is a terrible tragedy but it was an accident. That's that.
I am parent of two small kids (ages 3 and 7). I've taken them to amusement parks, zoos, parks, stores, EVERYWHERE and when I am in public with them, I'm on them like a hawk! I've never lost sight of my kids in a public place, NOT EVER. They are either right next to me holding the wagon, holding my hand, or in the stroller. Please explain how you manage to lost sight of your child long enough for them to climb a wall into a gorilla cage??!?!
I'm so tired of this nonsense where people excuse every bit of $hit parenting out there. We make excuses for why someone left their kid in a hot car and their child died, now we're making excuses for a parent who couldn't watch their kid well enough to avoid them gaining access to a gorilla cage, and we continue to excuse parents whose actions result in a thousand other horrifying things you hear about in the news.
This was a case of lousy parenting, there is NO excuse for your FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD to be able to make his way into a gorilla habitat. Call me a b!tch but I blame the mother 100% and if she was watching her child the entire incident wouldn't have occurred. She should count her lucky stars that gorilla didn't kill her kid! I've had enough of this PC cr@p where we aren't suppose to criticize or blame the parent. BS. There is a ton of $hit parenting out there that SHOULD be called out so that things like this don't happen in the future.
I can't tell you how many times I see kids in public running all over the place with no parent in sight. Or with some parent off in the distance too busy with their phone to bother giving a cr@p that their kids are running all over the place. I see it ALL the time. NOT every parent is a good parent. NOT everyone watches their kids like they should. So can we as a society just stop pretending like those facts aren't true. Call a spade a spade................some parents SUCK at their job. Period.
Additionally, I also blame the zoo because they should have proper safety measures in place at all of their exhibits so something like this cannot ever happen. If a 4 yr old can so easily make their way into the exhibit that means the zoo failed both its patrons and its animals.
I think it was a very unfortunate accident and while I realize there was likely no other choice but to kill this animal I just find it sad that an innocent animal had to die because of stupid human mistakes. I think people are more upset that this had to happen in the first place and not so much that the only choice was to kill the gorilla. If the zoo had proper measures in place and the parents were on top of their kids, none of this would've had to happen.
ETA - And before it's typed................no, I do NOT think I am a perfect parent but I won't excuse someone else's cr@p parenting when I see it. That mom failed her child. That zoo failed its animals and patrons.
Let me ask you a question. If you were out with your kids and one let go of the stroller and ran off into the parking lot. Someone grabbed him before he got hurt.
Would you be ok with the world questioning your parenting You would know deep down that he has never done this before. But the world doesn't. And they would call
You irresponsible. Say you couldn't handle
Your kids. And would that be fair
Now you can turn and say it has never happened to you. And that's great. But the reality is it can happen to any of us
Your child FALLS INTO A GORILLA HABITAT and the world is going to question your parenting. You leave your kid in a hot car and the world is going to question your parenting. Your kid runs into the street and gets hit by a car and the world is going to question your parenting.
It's just how it goes.
Why??? Because people can't understand how something like this could happen. Because when people hear horrific things they have an opinion, a judgement, a gut reaction to what they are seeing/hearing. And because in many cases, despite the saying, it CAN'T happen to anyone for a million different reasons.
So to answer your question, I have NO doubt that if something happened with my own kids I would be held up to questioning. I am sure people would wonder what kind of parent I am. I would also be the one people would hold accountable even if it were just an accident. If not the parent, then who? Is it fair? Maybe not but it's how it goes. In this case, the zoo shares some blame because it shouldn't be that easy to enter an animal habitat but ultimately, don't we have to hold this parent accountable? How can you not?
It's an unfortunate accident but you have to wonder if the mom/dad/caretaker/whoever did everything to ensure the safety of one child while taking care of the other. Isn't it possible that maybe she didn't? Isn't it possible that maybe she could've done better? And that was my point. when I first responded. Not all parents are created equal. I'm NOT saying straight out this person was a horrible parent but what if you find out she was on her cell phone chatting while putting one kid into the stroller and because she was so distracted the other kid ran off and ended up in the gorilla habitat. What if??? Would you be as empathetic, as understanding? Or is it possible you might QUESTION her parenting and wonder what in the h-el-l she was thinking? Food for thought.
Nowhere did it say she was on her phone. I'm not going to judge her on a "what if" scenario. You might as well list all of the things we could potentially judge this woman for doing, like what if she gave bottle rockets for the kids to shoot at the gorillas, or what if she was smoking a cigarette with her back turned to her kids?
I have to agree with some of the other posters above, accidents happen. It's horrible that this gorilla lost his life, but I'm sure this mother is beating herself up enough without the Internet helping. I know I would be.
You missed the point. You're all assuming she was a great parent who was doing everything right. My point was, what if she wasn't? What if there is more to the story? Would that change how empathetic you are to the mother given those circumstances?
There is no point debating back and forth, everyone has a differing opinion on this and nobody will change the others mind. We can all agree to disagree for a hundred different reasons. The only thing we can agree on is that it's a sad situation all around.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:54 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by phoenix913
Posted by Momof3boys
Posted by Jugglemom
I have a story...
When my kids were 3 and 5 we went to Disney and were at the hotel pool area. I was alone with the kids as my DH at the last minute had to take a later flight be of work. We were in the splash area and the 3 of us went to the poolside snack bar to get drinks. I was holding their hands the entire time. When they put our drinks on the counter I let go of their hands for literally 1-2 seconds so that I could pick up the drinks. In that second my DS disappeared!! And we were near the pool! I panicked! Freaked out and started yelling for him. Immediately told a lifeguard and another lifeguard was already walking him towards me. It could have been tragic. I did everything right except let go for that 1 second to get the drinks.
People could say "she shouldn't have been alone with them" etc etc but the truth is its easy to be a Monday morning quarterback or to think it would never happen to you. Or to think that somehow our parenting is so perfect that it puts us above accidents but the fact is tragic accidents happen everyday and they are just that accidents. So instead of patting ourselves on the back for our obvious parental superiority maybe we should say there but for the grace of God go I.
Also, I think it's easier for parents of 1 child or parents of kids that have a greater age gap to judge because frankly those situations are easier.
I agree! Unless you have multiple kids close in age you shouldn't judge.
And unless one of them is a runner you really, really shouldn't judge. DS2 is a runner and climber. I'm talking I've been in the bathroom for no more than 5 seconds and he's sitting on our kitchen counter.
And you know what, I've tried to do the right thing by getting him a backpack leash so that when we do go the zoo, etc. I hopefully won't ever end up in this same situation. But still people judge, give me dirty looks and make nasty comments about me treating my kid like an animal. So what is a mom supposed to do?
I'm so sick of the judging and lack of caring, empathy and understanding for other people and what they might be going through.
Hofstra, I'm so glad you've been blessed with perfect angels that would never run away from you and are good 100% of the time in public. Count your blessings and be thankful that you have easy children. Some of us didn't get so lucky.
And for the mom who was considering the leash for Disney, definitely do it. It has made our lives so much easier even with the nasty looks and comments.
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| Posted 5/31/16 6:56 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
my sister was run over by a car, literally run over, when we were little.....my mom wasn't there. It was a bunch of neighborhood kids playing outside together. She was seriously injured but lived to tell about it, thank God.
My mother is a wonderful mother and a great parent, is she a lousy mother bc my sister was hit by a car......absolutely not. It was an ACCIDENT. An unfortunate, horrifying accident.
You know what the community did, they came over and took care of me and my brother while she was at the hospital with my sister, they took care of me for days after that, they brought meals to the house......they HELPED my mother, they sat with her at hospital, they came by after to see how she was holding up, knowing she was overcome with guilt.
Not a single person that I know of stood around and passed judgement on my mom. Not one of them called her a shit parent, a lousy parent, told her she had failed as a mother. They had empathy and instead offered kind words and helped in anyway they could.
In today's world of the internet, she would most definitely be subject to some serious hate.....already compounding an awful situation. Who does that to another person? Who spews hate and horrible things at a person who was involved in an ACCIDENT and kicks them while they are down? What kind of person does that? The internet has brought out the worst in people bc they don't have to answer for their words......no one is accountable. Am I saying I have never judged someone, of course not. I am not perfect, I am human.....as was that mother, she was not perfect, she is just human. We all make mistakes some bigger than others....but this poor mother.
Maybe there are people who thought my mother was a horrible mother but no one said that to her face, bc you wouldn't do that to someone. The old, if you don't have anything nice to say.......not the case anymore. The anonymity of the internet has given people carte blanche to openly cast stones at someone bc it is not to their face...but it doesn't mean they don't hear you. The last thing I would say to a woman whose child could've been killed is "you failed as a parent."
It is horrifying to me, more so than the kids ending up in the gorilla enclosure the amount of hate, anger, vitriol, judgment people have in their hearts towards a woman they don't know and a situation they are making assumptions about. It is more horrifying to me that people seem to not have empathy anymore. That they are willing to cast stones, HARSH stones towards a woman about a topic they won't really care about in a week. You won't care in a week but these words, this hate will stay with this woman forever. Forever, she will remember how she was treated by her fellow mothers, by strangers on the internet, people who don't really give two shits about what happened, really.
there but for the Grace of God go I.......
Message edited 5/31/2016 7:59:27 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/16 7:24 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Momof3boys
Posted by Jugglemom
I have a story...
When my kids were 3 and 5 we went to Disney and were at the hotel pool area. I was alone with the kids as my DH at the last minute had to take a later flight be of work. We were in the splash area and the 3 of us went to the poolside snack bar to get drinks. I was holding their hands the entire time. When they put our drinks on the counter I let go of their hands for literally 1-2 seconds so that I could pick up the drinks. In that second my DS disappeared!! And we were near the pool! I panicked! Freaked out and started yelling for him. Immediately told a lifeguard and another lifeguard was already walking him towards me. It could have been tragic. I did everything right except let go for that 1 second to get the drinks.
People could say "she shouldn't have been alone with them" etc etc but the truth is its easy to be a Monday morning quarterback or to think it would never happen to you. Or to think that somehow our parenting is so perfect that it puts us above accidents but the fact is tragic accidents happen everyday and they are just that accidents. So instead of patting ourselves on the back for our obvious parental superiority maybe we should say there but for the grace of God go I.
Also, I think it's easier for parents of 1 child or parents of kids that have a greater age gap to judge because frankly those situations are easier.
I agree! Unless you have multiple kids close in age you shouldn't judge.
But isn't this a personal choice?? I spaced my children so that I could have a better handle on situations where I'm alone with them in public (which is very often).
If I wasn't confident, they'd be strapped in a triple stroller.
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| Posted 5/31/16 8:09 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by FirstMate
This whole "controversy" is really agitating me.
If the zoo delayed in reacting or tried tranquilizing the gorilla first and that kid was killed, the public outrage would be enormous. Every animal expert I have seen giving commentary on this is 100% supportive of the zoo's decision. The peanut gallery needs to take a seat.
Speaking of the peanut gallery, I wonder how many of the critics are parents. If they are a parent, I wonder how often, if at all, they take their small child out in public. Anyone that has taken their kid anywhere, especially a place that is exciting and stimulating like a zoo or a carnival or an amusement park, etc., knows how fast your kid can escape you and fall out of sight. Any parent who says they have never ever lost sight of their kid is a liar. The way this mother is being villainized is disgraceful.
This whole incident is a terrible tragedy but it was an accident. That's that.
I am parent of two small kids (ages 3 and 7). I've taken them to amusement parks, zoos, parks, stores, EVERYWHERE and when I am in public with them, I'm on them like a hawk! I've never lost sight of my kids in a public place, NOT EVER. They are either right next to me holding the wagon, holding my hand, or in the stroller. Please explain how you manage to lost sight of your child long enough for them to climb a wall into a gorilla cage??!?!
I'm so tired of this nonsense where people excuse every bit of $hit parenting out there. We make excuses for why someone left their kid in a hot car and their child died, now we're making excuses for a parent who couldn't watch their kid well enough to avoid them gaining access to a gorilla cage, and we continue to excuse parents whose actions result in a thousand other horrifying things you hear about in the news.
This was a case of lousy parenting, there is NO excuse for your FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD to be able to make his way into a gorilla habitat. Call me a b!tch but I blame the mother 100% and if she was watching her child the entire incident wouldn't have occurred. She should count her lucky stars that gorilla didn't kill her kid! I've had enough of this PC cr@p where we aren't suppose to criticize or blame the parent. BS. There is a ton of $hit parenting out there that SHOULD be called out so that things like this don't happen in the future.
I can't tell you how many times I see kids in public running all over the place with no parent in sight. Or with some parent off in the distance too busy with their phone to bother giving a cr@p that their kids are running all over the place. I see it ALL the time. NOT every parent is a good parent. NOT everyone watches their kids like they should. So can we as a society just stop pretending like those facts aren't true. Call a spade a spade................some parents SUCK at their job. Period.
Additionally, I also blame the zoo because they should have proper safety measures in place at all of their exhibits so something like this cannot ever happen. If a 4 yr old can so easily make their way into the exhibit that means the zoo failed both its patrons and its animals.
I think it was a very unfortunate accident and while I realize there was likely no other choice but to kill this animal I just find it sad that an innocent animal had to die because of stupid human mistakes. I think people are more upset that this had to happen in the first place and not so much that the only choice was to kill the gorilla. If the zoo had proper measures in place and the parents were on top of their kids, none of this would've had to happen.
ETA - And before it's typed................no, I do NOT think I am a perfect parent but I won't excuse someone else's cr@p parenting when I see it. That mom failed her child. That zoo failed its animals and patrons.
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| Posted 5/31/16 8:19 PM |
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