CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

Sorry so long- I am just sad about the idea of CIO. I am getting ready for it because we are getting into some bad bedtime habits. I end up going in there up to 30 times before she's asleep the last few nights. We all think it's because she misses me because as long as she's in my arms she's happy as a lamb and as long as I am in the room with her. It is tearing at my heart strings.

But, obviously this can't keep up.

When you have done CIO do you go in every few minutes or just let them cry? Sydnie also has cried until she vomits and I don't want that or have her choke. How do you do this mommies?????

ETA: UPDATE: I had a feeling this was going to happen. I decided to let her cry since I knew she was exhausted and just needed to go to sleep. So I am sitting in the LR listening to her and she starts to cough so I knew she was throwing up. I RUN like he!! in there and she's totally choking She has milk coming out of her nose and overflowing out of her mouth and she stops breathing. I grab her, turn her over and smack her back. She gags and throws up 2 more times. I pick her up and she is all confused and scared. DH changed the sheets and I comforted her. I will not be taking that chance again- I guess I will have one spoiled little girl and one tired mommy. Oh well, CIO is NOT for us. That was the scariest thing that has happened to me yet.

Message edited 3/13/2009 9:43:38 PM.

Re: CIO questions

I did it at 6 months.

When I would go in there - he would only get more upset. So I just sat downstairs with the video monitor in my hand and watched him (no sound on)

Every night it got shorter and shorter.

It's the hardest thing to hear. They all want to be held by their mothers but at some point they have to learn to fall asleep on their own.

Good luck - any other questions you have we're here!

ETA: We also have a very specific bedtime routine. Do the same things every night. Read the same books. Kiss the same bears, say our prayers. All exactly the same. Toddlers thrive on routine and like to know what is coming next!

Message edited 3/13/2009 8:44:07 PM.

Re: CIO questions

It's hard, but if you really want to do CIO, then you have to dig deep down and find the strength. It's the best thing for some babies.
I wouldn't go in with Ava because it always made her worse and we were back to square one. If you think that will happen, then don't go in, but if you think it will help or at least not hurt, start out with every 10 minutes, then the next night, every 15, the next night every 20, etc. What is her bedtime routine? That's a really big part of Dr. Ferber's method, as well, so it's not jut the CIO part.

Re: CIO questions

I guess we need to establish a better routine. It's so hard because she just can't stay on a schedule. Her naps always get messed up usually because the dogs wake her up So by the time bedtime rolls around we go with the flow. I TRY to do bath, book, bottle, bed. But sometimes we skip book if she's too tired and cranky. And bath night is every other night. So it isn't always the same. I guess I need to get better with that.

She was doing really well until recently. She would drink her bottle and I'd lay her down sometimes awake, sometimes already asleep and she would fall right asleep. I keep looking for an explanation why she won't go down but really I think she just wants to be up with us.

This is not going to be easy.

Re: CIO questions

Message edited 3/13/2009 9:01:51 PM.

Re: CIO questions

I should clarify - I don't give Jack a bath every night before he goes to bed (somedays we skip, somedays he showers with me in the morning)

How many naps does she take during the day?
Do you have a sound machine to drown out the dogs barking?

Re: CIO questions

Posted by sunflowerjesss


So we did strict crying. The first night it took him 45 minutes to fall asleep. The second night it took about 32ish. And I think the 3rd night it took less than 20. By day 4 he didn't cry at all and it has been like that ever since. We started when Ryan was just a few days over 7 months. And so glad we stuck to our guns.

Now, every once in a while he will wake up in the middle of the night. I let him cry at least 20 minutes before going in. When I go in I nurse him for 5 minutes (no more) than back in the crib and back to sleep he goes. That rarely happens though.


Please, call me if you need support! I'm here for you!!!

Re: CIO questions

First, take a deep breath. It's not going to be easy, but it's also not impossible. If there's one thing that kids thrive on, it's consistency, and that's what CIO is really for. As Ferber explains it in his book, for a child who falls asleep at night being rocked or patted or sung to by mom or dad, when they wake in the middle of the night, they freak out because the conditions that were there when they fell asleep are not there anymore. He compares it to an adult falling asleep at bedtime with their pillow. If they wake and the pillow is on the floor, they just kind of pick it up and go back to sleep. But then imagine waking and your pillow is completely gone because someone stole it....that's frightening and you don't know what happened while you were sleeping. Well, that's how babies feel when they wake and you are no long there. So by having them CIO, the bedtime conditions are the same as the conditions in the middle of the night.
That being said....really establish a strict bedtime routine. Eventually, after a couple of weeks, it helps you AND her. For you, it's like going on autopilot. You don't have to think, you just do. For her, it's knowing what to expect every, single night. Make it simple. If her bath is not a part of every night's routine, just start her routine after the bath on those nights. As for the CIO, you just have to get on board with DH and stick to it. And remember that if you do CIO and then back down and decide not to do it anymore, then it's not fair to her because all that crying was for nothing. So be very confident in your decision beforehand. I hth!

Re: CIO questions

Re: CIO questions

No advice because Im not there yet...but lots of GL's and Keep us posted!

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

Thanks everyone- No CIO for us. Update in original post.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

Aww. I'm so sorry. But there are other solutions to the problem, I promise.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

Posted by prncss

Aww. I'm so sorry. But there are other solutions to the problem, I promise.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

Oh my goodness that is so scary!!!! I'm sure you'll figure out some other way to work it out http://www.huggies.com.au/beingAParent/YourBabysSleep/SettlingYourBaby.asp#anchor1

maybe try the newborn to 6 month way...i did this at 2 months and she has been in a sleep routine since....hope things work themselves out soon

Message edited 3/13/2009 9:51:00 PM.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

I'm so sorry it ended that way! I know its hard and wish you luck. My son is a bad sleeper( thanks to our bad habits) and I know its so tough to deal with.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

Annie, let DH put her down and let him be the one to go in when she cries. this worked for us because she did not really want him(no offense honey) so she was not getting the result she wanted and gave up very quickly. Peyton sleeps well but the few occassions that she has woken up, if I go in it takes forever for her to go back, and if DH goes in it takes 5 minutes.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

CIO did not work for us..... at 5.5 months we tried it, he would choke,, throw up, scream, etc...the second time we tried it he shoved the whole paci in his mouth and started choking...it was the scariest thing ever, and i am never going to do it again.

i want to let you know that it does get better, i found that my ds went through stages, there were weeks that he would not fall asleep till 11pm, while we tried putting him down at 9, for two hours we had to carry him in the carrier each night while he was screaming bloody murder. he would also get up multiple times during the night, with difficulties falling back asleep, and forget about naptimes, he did not nap. it got better.... i found that the most important thing was the routine, we start with bottle, then bath, and bed time. maybe you should try bathing her everynight, he already starts getting sleeping when i put his pj's on, we start bathtime at 7:30 on the dot....also i found that he sleeps better when i started feeding solids, its crazy, but the solids really work.

I still get up once or twice in the middle of the night to put the paci in, sometimes i bring him into bed, when he is teething so bad and nothing can calm him. but it has gotten soooo much better, and i am sure with time it will get better for you too. I know what you are going through, hang in there

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

I am so sorry this happened. I can't imagine how scary it was.

I read a book called "On becoming Babywise" which really helped me with sleep. It suggests that you start a routine and stick with it. The routine they suggest is eating, playing, then sleeping. Perhaps this may work for you.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

I'm with you, I really don't think I could go through that!!! It breaks your heart, it's scary how worked up they can get. I'm sorry she got so upset

Edited to say I just recently bought the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and although it does talk about different teqniques such as CIO, there is a lot of useful information I've learned with napping that I had no clue about and now that I really make an effort during the day to get in the naps I have a whole different child. It has different sections for different age groups and I notice a big difference in his sleeping schedule once he gets in the sleep he needs. But what do I know I'm a 1st time mommy too but it definitely shed some light on things for me and may help you too.

Message edited 3/14/2009 12:07:34 AM.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

OMG! you must have been so scared!

DS is 6 months and I know I wouldn't do CIO bc I am too afraid something will happen I'm sure you will be able to get her back into her routine without doing CIO, maybe she is teething? DS has been very clingy bc of teething

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

Thanks everyone. I am going to get some books and start a more strict routine.

Christine- When DH is home and wakes from a nap before she's ready to get up I always send DH n b/c you're right-it's not Daddy that they want But for some reason at bedtime I'm always on my own

And as someone else said-this is very sporatic so hopefully it's a phase and she goes back to her old habits next week.

Thank you everyone. It was horrible to see her like that. Hopefully tonight is better.

Re: CIO questions- UPDATE- No CIO for us!!!!!

I sent you an FM, but thought I would post on here as well.

Everyone is probably going to think DH and I are insane, but at around 14 months, DS started getting some really bad sleep habits after his molars came in and an ear infection and cold hit him. I felt bad and would let him fall asleep on my shoulder. Well, that turned into, fall asleep fine on my shoulder but when I try to put you in your crib, wake up and scream like crazy. We would be up for 3 hours trying to get him back in his crib. We tried going back to CIO which we used when he was 6 months, but he started throwing up and we were back to being his sleep slave again.

After speaking to someone on this site as well as my ped, we found out that these little ones are amazingly quick at learning how to manipulate you. As long as we knew he was not hurt, hungry or dirty, he should be going to bed. He knows how to do it on our shoulder so he can do it in his crib.

That's when we were told something that I thought was insane. Let him throw up... clean him and his crib up... put him back in bed! We were at our whits end... and we tried it.

The hardest thing we have ever done. That first night we sat and listened to the monitor and heard him cry and about 5 minutes later, throw up. We went upstairs, cleaned him up and his crib and put him back to bed. Listened to the monitor again while he cried for about a half hour and went to sleep. He has not thrown up at night since then. And he now goes to sleep like an angel for us.

I just wanted to put this out there as my experience that may help someone else. Many of you might think I am crazy and terrible for doing that to DS, but I feel we made the right decision based on what we were dealing with. Good luck!