Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

I'm almost 12 weeks. I wasn't planning on telling work until sometime after my first trimester screening, which is on the 17th. I had a bleeding scare on Friday at work and left in the middle of the day. I just told them I wasn't feeling well.

The receptionist is the only one who knows I'm pregnant. She came into my office when I was very upset on Friday so I told her what was wrong. I had a feeling she knew I was pregnant anyway (she later told me she had suspected it for a while). According to the receptionist, I look pregnant. She said no one else has said anything about it to her though.

I'm completely conflicted about whether I should tell work. I don't have a problem telling the office manager and explaining the reason I left early, but I'm pretty sure if I told her, she'd tell the partners in my office. I don't really feel comfortable with the whole office knowing yet. I still feel it's kind of early to reveal this info at work.

WWYD?

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

if you know that the receptionist won't tell, but the office manager would, and that makes you uncomfortable, then i wouldn't tell yet. you don't have to explain yourself - people feel sick all the time and leave work. don't feel guilty for not telling, seriously.

i am guessing the receptionist will be able to tell you when people start gossiping and then you can worry about telling.

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

I think its totally a personal thing. I'm waiting the standard 12 weeks to tell them. I do know for a fact that two of my co-workers suspect it. My manager who is female winked at me twice last week, once when I said I was tired and another when I said my stomach hurts. Also, she asked me at Happy Hour "does that have alchol in it". She will be so happy when I do announce.

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

Posted by headoverheels

if you know that the receptionist won't tell, but the office manager would, and that makes you uncomfortable, then i wouldn't tell yet. you don't have to explain yourself - people feel sick all the time and leave work. don't feel guilty for not telling, seriously.

i am guessing the receptionist will be able to tell you when people start gossiping and then you can worry about telling.

Message edited 6/9/2008 11:11:38 AM.

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

I agree, if you aren't ready to discuss your plans for maternity leave with your boss then don't reveal yet.

Like you, I'm also 12 weeks and slightly showing. I'm holding off as long as I can because I really don't want to be treated any differently from my peers. I've known pregnant women who "come out" and start getting less desirable assignments or start getting questioned about their commitment to the job.

I know it doesn't happen to everyone but I have heard of this...

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

I don't really have any advice except to do what you think is right for you in your situation. Just wanted to give you one of these..

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

I would wait until the 17th. Its only a week away.

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

It is a very personal decision when you want to reveal you are pregnant..although she means well, don't let the receptionist push you into something you are not ready for. This is YOUR decision..no one elses. Keep us posted and stay cool today.

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

I wouldn't tell yet. Wait a couple more weeks.

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

Posted by MrsS2005

Posted by headoverheels

if you know that the receptionist won't tell, but the office manager would, and that makes you uncomfortable, then i wouldn't tell yet. you don't have to explain yourself - people feel sick all the time and leave work. don't feel guilty for not telling, seriously.

i am guessing the receptionist will be able to tell you when people start gossiping and then you can worry about telling.

She said she wouldn't tell and not to worry about that. She encouraged me to tell though b/c she thinks I definitely look pregnant. She understands though why I'm hesitant to tell.

I'm also nervous about telling work in general b/c the last two attorneys who got pregnant left after having babies. I'm not planning on leaving, but I don't know how thrilled they'll be to hear the news. The other women indicated they were coming back and then decided not to return towards the end of their leave.

Re: Conflicted about telling work - thoughts?

I say wait until you're ready and don't worry about suspicions - legally, they cannot ask you.
I didn't tell until I was 16.5wks and most people said they knew (but my boss was pretty oblivious). I did it when I was ready (my assistant quit at 12wks and there was no way I was telling when that had just happened - I wanted to wait til my new asst was settled and doing well so the office wouldn't be concerned about my leaving.

I was also concerned about the reaction b/c other women def. worked the system at our office, but the truth is you just never know. I said I would be back, and it's still my intention - but I can see how so many women change their minds - you can't worry about them anticipating you not returning - all you can do is state your intentions and go with the flow.

Message edited 6/9/2008 1:56:05 PM.