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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Could you leave your kids behind?
Okay, I am just throwing this out there for a topic of discussion.
I post on a board for Americans living abroad and there are a lot of people on the site who are like me, moved abroad to be with a significant other, and have gotten married etc.
But there are quite a few women who have moved abroad and left their kids behind, young kids,8, 13, 19, 20...this really boggles my mind. I don't necessarily belive that love conquers all and all that jazz, but I honestly for the life of me can't imagine the day when a man (or woman) becomes more important to me than my children. When does love reach a point where you choose a man over your children?
Everytime I read a story like this, I cry inside for these kids.
What do you think? Could love be more important than your child? Could you move halfway around the world to be with someone you love and leave your kids behind?
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Posted 12/7/08 5:01 PM  |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I could never in a million years move across the country, away from my child, for a man. Not even if I was an old spinster and this was my last shot at love! 
Never ever.
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:05 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
OMG I couldn't imagine! I feel so bad for those kids!
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:09 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
The young children I can understand not understanding why a parent would leave them to move that far away.
But a 20 year old? I don't really consider that a young child. My best friends parents moved to London when she was 21. Her father worked for a large insurance company and was transferred to London to open their European office. They lived there for 7 years. At 21 my friend was already out of the house and living on her own, so I don't know why that would be a big deal.
Maybe because I'm not yet a parent (soon though!).
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:15 PM |
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My3Shmoos
Me and my Monkey
Member since 7/06 2437 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
NEVER!!!!!!!!
I feel horrible for these children. Who has them if their mom is abroad?
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:15 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Nope, Never!
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:17 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I am guessing that the other parent would have them (in a divorce situation)
I don't worry so much about the older kids, but anyone under the age of 18 is so sad.
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:17 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Never, ever, ever , ever. Not even a ? about that. I dont get it either.
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:19 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Nope never! It's the same train of thought that goes along with mother's who give up custody of their kids and see them on weekends, etc. I don't get it, never will so I quit trying to understand it.
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:22 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I'm trying to think of the circumstances that would make it ok & I'm not coming up with much.
Let's see. I'm divorced, I meet someone else who is established in another country, we fall in love, my kids can't leave the US for some reason...yeah, nope, I've got nothing. Can't do it.
Then again, my husband couldn't get me to move to Hicksville from my hometown.
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:25 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
DH was one of those children! he grew-up in eastern europe when the economy was  his dad raised them, and his mom went to NY so she could send money home to her family... eventually, they had enough where the whole family could come here.
I think it's a matter of perspective. in those countries, it's so common, it's not a big deal. they suck it up so they can live remotely comfortably. it's a big sacrifice, but it's all with the intention of providing all you can for your kids so they are better off than you 
could I do it? nope... I'd have to be in a pretty desperate situation
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:26 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I could never ever ever ever leave my baby behind. Ever. Nobody...not even my husband...comes before my child.
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| Posted 12/7/08 5:47 PM |
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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Never.
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| Posted 12/7/08 6:02 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Posted by wannabemom
DH was one of those children! he grew-up in eastern europe when the economy was his dad raised them, and his mom went to NY so she could send money home to her family... eventually, they had enough where the whole family could come here.
I think it's a matter of perspective. in those countries, it's so common, it's not a big deal. they suck it up so they can live remotely comfortably. it's a big sacrifice, but it's all with the intention of providing all you can for your kids so they are better off than you
could I do it? nope... I'd have to be in a pretty desperate situation
Wait. You just found the reason.
In thinking about it - I saw The Lost Boys of Sudan. It was about survival of these poor boys who immigrate to the US. There is a good reason. If my child were suffering to that extent & I needed to go get another job to send money home for their survival (similar to the illegal immigrants here), there would be no question I'd do what I had to. I don't think there is any question we would all do what we had to for that reason.
I thought Racheee was asking more about would you leave your child because you were in love with someone who lived outside of your country. The answer is not a chance. We are a package deal.
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| Posted 12/7/08 6:31 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
never in a million years.
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| Posted 12/7/08 6:33 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I could never but not every woman has a maternal instinct.
Some women just see their kids as a ball and chain preventing them to move on with their life.
I consider it's better to abandon them than kill them.
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| Posted 12/7/08 6:42 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
A old friend of mine was sent away (along with her brother) to be raised in another country.
She is from Taiwan, and her family is very wealthy. She and her brother were the target of kidnap threats (typical in this country, and the kidnapped kids were murdered most of the time).
Her parents sent her (at age 12) and her brother (at age 8) to be raised in the US by their aunt to save their lives. Her parents stayed in Taiwan, and visited as much as they could.
It was wrenching for them, and they did reunite when they were able to move to the US eventually. They felt this was their only option to save their lives- that must have been so horrible
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| Posted 12/7/08 6:43 PM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Never ever! It doesn't even make sense to me!
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| Posted 12/7/08 6:44 PM |
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SkyzTheLimit
Bring on summer!!!
Member since 3/06 2483 total posts
Name:
Jamie
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Would never happen!! My kids will always come first!
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| Posted 12/7/08 7:33 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
never, EVER
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| Posted 12/7/08 7:37 PM |
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I do belive that there are mothers who could do such a thing. It's called non maternal and selfish!
I could and would never!
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| Posted 12/7/08 7:42 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
my manicurist just did this Her daughter is the same age as Vincent. She spent the month of August in her native country (eastern European) and came home without her.
Her husband does not work (lazy, watches TV all day) and her MIL was charging her ($150/day) to watch her daughter.  She couldn't make ends meet and care for her daughter so she left her with her sister.
I cannot imagine it, nor can I agree with it. If things are THAT BAD here, stay in Utzbekestan or wherever you are from WITH your child! Her DH and MIL are obviously useless.
I haven't been able to go back to her since I heard the news. I am having a hard time understanding it. She is misreable with the situation.
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| Posted 12/7/08 8:05 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I could never ever leave my kid behind! OMGosh thats too sad.
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| Posted 12/7/08 8:06 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
I could not imagine...I think its a 2 way street, I don't understand dads moving away either.
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| Posted 12/7/08 8:09 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Could you leave your kids behind?
Not a chance, no way.
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| Posted 12/7/08 8:10 PM |
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