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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Coworker horror stories
My nightmare coworker is a 60 year old man with the emotional maturity of a 5 year old.
He announces every day that he is going to drink a glass of 2% milk. Sometimes he eats cookies and milk at his desk. One day, he spilled his milk all over himself and I laughed, hysterically, on the inside.
He smokes and STINKS, especially because he has horrendous breath.
Just now, he asked for a piece of my orange.
I CAN'T.
Please enlighten me!
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Posted 1/15/14 1:19 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Coworker horror stories
ugh..I can't with some people.
One of my horror stories: I was sitting behind one of my coworkers in our office training room and he just lifted his butt and farted so loud. I literally walked right out of the room. Everyone laughed how I was in the line of fire..it was gross. Some people are just disgusting!
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| Posted 1/15/14 1:24 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Coworker horror stories
Oh you know my stories lol but here goes:
I work in a satellite office with one of the partners of the firm. I refer to her as coworker. She's 42.
She scarfs down her food to the point where I can't see how she has time to chew. Then she'll burp and exclaim "UGHHHH I"m gonna PUKE!" after every burp.
She wears the same clothes every single day -- including socks. I know because she tells me that she likes to get at least 3 days out of a pair. But then she'll complain that her feet hurt but she can't take her shoes off b/c her feet stink.
When her kids are off from school, she brings them to the office and generally they're good but her son likes to climb the file cabinets like a monkey.
She's a total one upper. Her situation has to be so much worse than everyone else's. For example: I live 25 mins away and have to take the LIE in the morning and sometimes hit a lot of traffic. She will then complain that she hit sooo much traffic driving a mile down 110 during her 8 minute commute. No. Not the same thing if it took you 12 mins instead of 8 but it took me an hour instead of 25 mins.
On multiple occasions, she has run out of the office claiming that she's about to shit or piss herself.
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| Posted 1/15/14 1:35 PM |
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KaKa2323
Got my miracle
Member since 9/11 1465 total posts
Name:
K
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Coworker horror stories
I'm sorry, but I literally laughed out loud.
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| Posted 1/15/14 1:35 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by ElizaRags35
Oh you know my stories lol but here goes:
I work in a satellite office with one of the partners of the firm. I refer to her as coworker. She's 42.
She scarfs down her food to the point where I can't see how she has time to chew. Then she'll burp and exclaim "UGHHHH I"m gonna PUKE!" after every burp.
She wears the same clothes every single day -- including socks. I know because she tells me that she likes to get at least 3 days out of a pair. But then she'll complain that her feet hurt but she can't take her shoes off b/c her feet stink.
When her kids are off from school, she brings them to the office and generally they're good but her son likes to climb the file cabinets like a monkey.
She's a total one upper. Her situation has to be so much worse than everyone else's. For example: I live 25 mins away and have to take the LIE in the morning and sometimes hit a lot of traffic. She will then complain that she hit sooo much traffic driving a mile down 110 during her 8 minute commute. No. Not the same thing if it took you 12 mins instead of 8 but it took me an hour instead of 25 mins.
On multiple occasions, she has run out of the office claiming that she's about to shit or piss herself.
I'm sorry but WTEFFF....that is batshit cray! I'm sending your some prayers and hugs because I couldn't even imagine  
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| Posted 1/15/14 1:39 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by ElizaRags35
Oh you know my stories lol but here goes:
I work in a satellite office with one of the partners of the firm. I refer to her as coworker. She's 42.
She scarfs down her food to the point where I can't see how she has time to chew. Then she'll burp and exclaim "UGHHHH I"m gonna PUKE!" after every burp.
She wears the same clothes every single day -- including socks. I know because she tells me that she likes to get at least 3 days out of a pair. But then she'll complain that her feet hurt but she can't take her shoes off b/c her feet stink.
When her kids are off from school, she brings them to the office and generally they're good but her son likes to climb the file cabinets like a monkey.
She's a total one upper. Her situation has to be so much worse than everyone else's. For example: I live 25 mins away and have to take the LIE in the morning and sometimes hit a lot of traffic. She will then complain that she hit sooo much traffic driving a mile down 110 during her 8 minute commute. No. Not the same thing if it took you 12 mins instead of 8 but it took me an hour instead of 25 mins.
On multiple occasions, she has run out of the office claiming that she's about to shit or piss herself.
I am on a conference call and just had to mute it because I couldn't hold in my laughter.
This is just hysterical
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| Posted 1/15/14 1:41 PM |
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Re: Coworker horror stories
obviously something mentally wrong
thats so hard to deal with :(
ive got one who takes paper towels, ziplock bags, napkins, wipes, etc. on a regular basis. hoards them. these are things that parents send in for their own kids.
Message edited 1/15/2014 1:43:43 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/14 1:41 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by ElizaRags35
Oh you know my stories lol but here goes:
I work in a satellite office with one of the partners of the firm. I refer to her as coworker. She's 42.
She scarfs down her food to the point where I can't see how she has time to chew. Then she'll burp and exclaim "UGHHHH I"m gonna PUKE!" after every burp.
She wears the same clothes every single day -- including socks. I know because she tells me that she likes to get at least 3 days out of a pair. But then she'll complain that her feet hurt but she can't take her shoes off b/c her feet stink.
When her kids are off from school, she brings them to the office and generally they're good but her son likes to climb the file cabinets like a monkey.
She's a total one upper. Her situation has to be so much worse than everyone else's. For example: I live 25 mins away and have to take the LIE in the morning and sometimes hit a lot of traffic. She will then complain that she hit sooo much traffic driving a mile down 110 during her 8 minute commute. No. Not the same thing if it took you 12 mins instead of 8 but it took me an hour instead of 25 mins.
On multiple occasions, she has run out of the office claiming that she's about to shit or piss herself.
omg!!
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| Posted 1/15/14 1:43 PM |
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SeaWolf14
*Crazy Cat Lady*
Member since 7/13 1324 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by Kitten1929
My nightmare coworker is a 60 year old man with the emotional maturity of a 5 year old.
He announces every day that he is going to drink a glass of 2% milk. Sometimes he eats cookies and milk at his desk. One day, he spilled his milk all over himself and I laughed, hysterically, on the inside.
He smokes and STINKS, especially because he has horrendous breath.
Just now, he asked for a piece of my orange.
I CAN'T.
Please enlighten me!
Mmmmmm Milk + tobacco.
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| Posted 1/15/14 2:46 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by ElizaRags35
Oh you know my stories lol but here goes:
I work in a satellite office with one of the partners of the firm. I refer to her as coworker. She's 42.
She scarfs down her food to the point where I can't see how she has time to chew. Then she'll burp and exclaim "UGHHHH I"m gonna PUKE!" after every burp.
She wears the same clothes every single day -- including socks. I know because she tells me that she likes to get at least 3 days out of a pair. But then she'll complain that her feet hurt but she can't take her shoes off b/c her feet stink.
When her kids are off from school, she brings them to the office and generally they're good but her son likes to climb the file cabinets like a monkey.
She's a total one upper. Her situation has to be so much worse than everyone else's. For example: I live 25 mins away and have to take the LIE in the morning and sometimes hit a lot of traffic. She will then complain that she hit sooo much traffic driving a mile down 110 during her 8 minute commute. No. Not the same thing if it took you 12 mins instead of 8 but it took me an hour instead of 25 mins.
On multiple occasions, she has run out of the office claiming that she's about to shit or piss herself.
This is a combination of hysterical and disgusting (3 days for a pair of socks - WTH!!!)
We had 2 co-workers (recently laid off) who were both totally nuts: One who would always have to take 3 of everything when we had food. If there were cupcakes, there would be 3 sitting on his desk all day; bagles - 3 on his desk all day. And one day I was walking towards my office and had to go past his cubicle. He pulled his chair out of the cube all the way close up to the wall of the hallway and was sitting as close as you can get to the wall, facing the wall, just staring at the wall. It became a "regular" thing for him - he said he was "taking a break" from his work. OK, sure.
The other one - where do I begin. She also worked in a cubicle. But we had an empty office with a desk that had space between the back wall and desk. someone went in there to do something and screamed when they saw her lying flat on her back on the floor, behind the desk, saying she had to stretch her back. One time I came back from vacation I found a vase of silk flowers on my desk. I aksed several people, but no one knew where they came from. Later she came up to me and told me they were from her because she saw me look at them so she figured I would like them (NOT!). Out of the blue, she gave another co-worker a 6 pack of beer - "to keep under his desk because he's Irish." She once wore this orange and purple flannel plaid jumpsuit for an entire week (that's not the kind of outfit you don't notice on day one, much less 3 days in). She also kept pictures of herself (alone) on her desk - in case she forgot who she was?!?!?!
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| Posted 1/15/14 2:58 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Coworker horror stories
I have a co worker that says to his wife, EVERY day (sometimes 2x a day) "I'm sorry I was a jerk".
I don't know how his wife stays married to him........
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:03 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Coworker horror stories
At one seminar attended by employees from offices all around the country, I sat across from a woman who plucked just about every hair from her face, without a mirror, just going by feel. Two days of watching someone tweeze.
I've worked with some real bat-shit crazy people over the years, including the one guy who would always take his briefcase into the lunch room, pull out his lunch and read the paper.
Sounds normal, except the inside of his briefcase was lined with foil......
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:06 PM |
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DrMeg
Back home!
Member since 5/08 1858 total posts
Name:
Meg
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Coworker horror stories
I used to share a small office with 3 other people one girl would go running in Central Park during lunch. Then hang her sweaty workout closes in the same rack as our coats. Sticking them and the whole room up.
Another girl in the office used to take hour long skype breaks using the speakers on her computer. People are so inconsiderate glad I work by myself now.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:09 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Coworker horror stories
I have the germophobe.
The one who orders gallon sized bottles of purell for the office- the kind you have to use a pump to get out like the big bottles of shampoo at the salon sink.
She won't touch anything without a paper towel between her hand and the door knob, fridge handle etc.
She brings her own fork and knife from home- not because it's better for the environment than using the disposables, but because she doesn't like the thought that someone could have touched the plastic forks in the drawer in the kitchen here.
But what's most annoying about her is she is also crazy obsessed about food spoiling. To the point where she will put left over donuts in the fridge.
You aren't supposed to refrigerate donuts...they get hard as a rock.
I was so pissed one day because there were some left over donuts from a meeting that I planned to have after lunch. I go in and they are in the fridge- hard as rocks.
She said- well they could have spoiled.
Ummm- they don't keep them in a fridge in DD.
Yet they never spoil.
She's a nut case.
And by the way- sick ALL the time. So much for being a germophobe.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:14 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Coworker horror stories
I almost forgot! I worked for the firm I'm at now back when I was in college. There was a legal assistant who was obsessed with my dad (founding partner) to the point where she had blown up his yearbook photo from college and hung it in her cubicle along with a picture of my dog. I don't recall how she got these photos lol.
She was fired when they found her doing VOODOO. She had written the names of the office manager and 2 other employees on a piece of paper and put them in the freezer. She had also done some other type of "spell" that involved sugar or flour or something like that. It was hysterical and soooo creepy.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:16 PM |
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Eunyboo
<3
Member since 7/12 4376 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Coworker horror stories
LOL!!!! I used to have a really fun one, luckily she retired.
She used to clip her nails at her desk and save the clippings in her drawer. 
We used to have bagel Fridays... well she would literally bring her PURSE into the cafeteria and start stuffing rolls & bagels into it. It got to the point a manager had to tell her something because she was packing in so many, some people were not getting to have one for breakfast!
She would always bring chicken bones to suck loudly in the cafeteria but look at you (and make comments) because you brought sushi and "ew, how does anyone eat that?".
Lastly, she had a favorite chair in the cafeteria. We have four tables and she always liked a particular seat at one. If you sat at her seat during lunch time, forget it. She would literally just stand and stare at you until your lunch time was over. She wouldn't even sit at another chair.. just stare at you until you got up and moved. So ***** annoying. 
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:23 PM |
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Eunyboo
<3
Member since 7/12 4376 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by SusiBee
I've worked with some real bat-shit crazy people over the years, including the one guy who would always take his briefcase into the lunch room, pull out his lunch and read the paper.
Sounds normal, except the inside of his briefcase was lined with foil......
LMAOOOOOOOOOO I dunno why but this made me laugh so hard.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:25 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Coworker horror stories
OK I have way too many. My office could be on a tv show if one didn't already exist.
Dumbest coworker story:
She is the bookkeeper and makes the schedule of when the holidays are that we will be closed and distributes it to the office. I come in on day and she tells me she is so mad because we have one less holiday this year. I ask what she means and she told me that Good Friday is on a Saturday this year. I didn't think she was serious, but she was, and argued with me for a good two mins. Was I the dumb one to argue with her? hmmm...
The disgusting:
My one coworker is the only one not in a closed office. She eats all day long at her desk. All you hear is slurping, smacking and chomping. It is so loud I can hear her with my office door closed and my pandora radio on.
The weird:
My boss is the strangest person on the planet. He calls himself Man Gaga (He has a video on youtube) and thinks he is a great dancer and performer. (He isn't!). He has jumped on peoples desks and danced. He has sat a verizon employee (who was there to fix our internet) sit in a chair and he put a santa hat on her and gave her sort of a lap dance.
I have so many more I could probably write a book!
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:29 PM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by Pinkisles
OK I have way too many. My office could be on a tv show if one didn't already exist.
Dumbest coworker story:
She is the bookkeeper and makes the schedule of when the holidays are that we will be closed and distributes it to the office. I come in on day and she tells me she is so mad because we have one less holiday this year. I ask what she means and she told me that Good Friday is on a Saturday this year. I didn't think she was serious, but she was, and argued with me for a good two mins. Was I the dumb one to argue with her? hmmm...
The disgusting:
My one coworker is the only one not in a closed office. She eats all day long at her desk. All you hear is slurping, smacking and chomping. It is so loud I can hear her with my office door closed and my pandora radio on.
The weird:
My boss is the strangest person on the planet. He calls himself Man Gaga (He has a video on youtube) and thinks he is a great dancer and performer. (He isn't!). He has jumped on peoples desks and danced. He has sat a verizon employee (who was there to fix our internet) sit in a chair and he put a santa hat on her and gave her sort of a lap dance.
I have so many more I could probably write a book!
please tell me this isnt your boss!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uydBI_eO54g
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:33 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by luvbuffet
Posted by Pinkisles
OK I have way too many. My office could be on a tv show if one didn't already exist.
Dumbest coworker story:
She is the bookkeeper and makes the schedule of when the holidays are that we will be closed and distributes it to the office. I come in on day and she tells me she is so mad because we have one less holiday this year. I ask what she means and she told me that Good Friday is on a Saturday this year. I didn't think she was serious, but she was, and argued with me for a good two mins. Was I the dumb one to argue with her? hmmm...
The disgusting:
My one coworker is the only one not in a closed office. She eats all day long at her desk. All you hear is slurping, smacking and chomping. It is so loud I can hear her with my office door closed and my pandora radio on.
The weird:
My boss is the strangest person on the planet. He calls himself Man Gaga (He has a video on youtube) and thinks he is a great dancer and performer. (He isn't!). He has jumped on peoples desks and danced. He has sat a verizon employee (who was there to fix our internet) sit in a chair and he put a santa hat on her and gave her sort of a lap dance.
I have so many more I could probably write a book!
please tell me this isnt your boss!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uydBI_eO54g
That's him!!!
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:35 PM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coworker horror stories
wha the ffffffffffffffffffffffkk!??!?! seriously! he has to be insane!!! is he hiring?! lol!!!
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:36 PM |
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halfbaked
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6937 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by Eunified
We used to have bagel Fridays... well she would literally bring her PURSE into the cafeteria and start stuffing rolls & bagels into it. It got to the point a manager had to tell her something because she was packing in so many, some people were not getting to have one for breakfast!
Ugh, my entire OFFICE does this. They had to move where they have the breakfast to a conference room so a manager could sit in the room and MONITOR people (grown adults) to make sure they only take one bagel. And the bagels are disgusting! They're like eating cardboard.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:36 PM |
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halfbaked
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6937 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coworker horror stories
Posted by Pinkisles
That's him!!!
Ummmmmmmm you are mistaken my friend. He is an AMAZING dancer.
You win. Hands down! 
ETA: OMG! I hadn't watched the whole video and when I clicked back to the screen he's suddenly on the roof with wings! I can't. I'm crying over here!!
Message edited 1/15/2014 3:59:44 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:40 PM |
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JAPH23
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/13 769 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Coworker horror stories
These are hysterical and make my coworkers (or former coworkers) look sane.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:40 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Coworker horror stories
OMG I am in love with this thread!
This:
He has sat a verizon employee (who was there to fix our internet) sit in a chair and he put a santa hat on her and gave her sort of a lap dance.
Is the winner. How awkward for that poor girl!
Message edited 1/15/2014 3:43:31 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/14 3:41 PM |
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