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annonbean
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/11 1 total post
Name:
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Delicate situation
I am a member here but posting this under a secret name.
I have a friend at work who is getting married in a few months. She is super excited. Her fiance is not from LI. He is in the process of trying to get a job here. She told me that he can't move to LI yet because of some legal issues. Me, being curious (yes nosy) googled his name and found out why he was arrested. Its kind of creepy and I really hope she knows what she is getting into here.
Do I say anything to her? We are not super close, just work friends. Her family, from what she told me does not know about his past. I feel like she is going to get hurt in the long run but she is also a grown woman.
I feel really weird seeing her at work on Tuesday.
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Posted 2/20/11 6:22 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: Delicate situation
What was he arrested for?
I would think that if she knows he can't move here for legal reasons she probably knows why.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:26 PM |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
JMO, but I wouldn't say anything. It sounds like she may already be aware of his full situation.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:27 PM |
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Re: Delicate situation
I kinda feel like this is a lesson she will need to learn for herself. If she is blind to all the red flags, not much anyone can say will change her mind.
If you were a closer friend or family member you MAY stand a chance but even then.......I'd probably just MMOB if I was in your shoes.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:27 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by IrishLass
I would think that if she knows he can't move here for legal reasons she probably knows why.
ITA~she must know. I wouldn't say anything to her.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:28 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Delicate situation
MYOB -- do not say anything and don't let her know you know...it's not your place to talk to her about any of this at all.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:29 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by MrsPJB2007
MYOB -- do not say anything and don't let her know you know...it's not your place to talk to her about any of this at all.
you took the words right out of my mouth.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:31 PM |
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Re: Delicate situation
I wouldn't..but depending on how creepy it is, I probably wouldn't go to the wedding (if I were invited) and would try to avoid him if he ever visited your work environment.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:31 PM |
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8ternity
<3
Member since 11/08 10586 total posts
Name:
Formally NYPD-Wife
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Re: Delicate situation
I wouldn't say anything, I am sure she knows since she mentioned "legal issues".
I am putting myself in her shoes and if a co-worker admitted to googling my fiancés name I would be a little disturbed.
Message edited 2/20/2011 6:40:41 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/11 6:39 PM |
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SpencersMommy
I'm one lucky girl
Member since 11/07 3494 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by NYPD-Wife
I wouldn't say anything, I am sure she knows since she mentioned "legal issues".
I am putting myself in her shoes and if a co-worker admitted to googling my fiancés name I would be a little disturbed.
ITA
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| Posted 2/20/11 7:13 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by MrsPJB2007
MYOB -- do not say anything and don't let her know you know...it's not your place to talk to her about any of this at all.
Exactly
YES! Whatever you read in the paper could be completely wrong anyway!
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| Posted 2/20/11 8:05 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
If you googled him I'm sure she has too. I would be shocked if she didn't already know. Then all you would do is cause her embarrassment. I wouldn't say a thing.
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| Posted 2/20/11 8:08 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: Delicate situation
I wouldn't say anything to her. I think she knows already. But if you want to have a conversation with her about it, I would just ask her to clarify it since she mentioned it first to you.. that was an opening to have a convo about it IMO. If she wanted you to know nothing she would have said nothing about it.
What was he arrested for? I'm curious to know how what the situation is.
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| Posted 2/20/11 8:09 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by NYPD-Wife
I wouldn't say anything, I am sure she knows since she mentioned "legal issues".
I am putting myself in her shoes and if a co-worker admitted to googling my fiancés name I would be a little disturbed.
I could not agree more.
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| Posted 2/20/11 9:49 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by NYPD-Wife
I wouldn't say anything, I am sure she knows since she mentioned "legal issues".
I am putting myself in her shoes and if a co-worker admitted to googling my fiancés name I would be a little disturbed.
ita
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| Posted 2/20/11 9:52 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by IrishLass
What was he arrested for?
I would think that if she knows he can't move here for legal reasons she probably knows why.
I would assume that she knows but just didn't want to tell you what he did...
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| Posted 2/20/11 9:52 PM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by MrsPJB2007
MYOB -- do not say anything and don't let her know you know...it's not your place to talk to her about any of this at all.
These are exactly my thoughts.
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| Posted 2/20/11 11:58 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by staceyums81
Posted by IrishLass
What was he arrested for?
I would think that if she knows he can't move here for legal reasons she probably knows why.
I would assume that she knows but just didn't want to tell you what he did...
Ita!
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| Posted 2/21/11 12:03 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
It would depend on what he was arrested for. If it was something like a fraud thing, child molestation or rape, I'd have a hard time letting my friend get into a bad situation. Even if it's something severe, she may know about it & chooses to overlook it.
I agree that she probably knows something is up if she has mentioned legal issues so if anything I'd encourage her to google him herself... you don't have to come straight out & say it but if you found something in google in the News, you can say that you were googlling your name, your husband's name & were looking at what came up. It may spark her to do the same.
By the way, I do google my name & my husband's OFTEN. I ask for content to be deleted or delete comments on a FB page mainly because future employers DO google. I"m in HR & do it all of the time.
Never mind I just re-read - if you're not super close, I'd let it go. A close friend I'd want her to google it.
Message edited 2/21/2011 10:22:45 AM.
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| Posted 2/21/11 6:27 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Delicate situation
She knows. Let her do her thing. You have no idea what is going on.
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| Posted 2/21/11 9:12 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
I dont see how its any of your business. You stated you werent super close, just work friends. She is a grown up. Im sure she is aware of his past. If someone checked out my fh with google and mentioned it to me, i would be annoyed, especially a not supermclose work friend. Stay out of it.
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| Posted 2/21/11 9:15 AM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Delicate situation
FTR- Just because someone is arrested for a crime does not mean he/she committed it. If it was a crime against a person, there is always the possibility that the complainant was not telling the truth or the whole truth. (And I'm in law enforcement and this does happen from time to time.) My advice is to refrain from making your knowledge known to your work friend.
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| Posted 2/21/11 9:18 AM |
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Jennifer
Happy
Member since 5/05 4230 total posts
Name:
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by Stacey1403
If you googled him I'm sure she has too. I would be shocked if she didn't already know. Then all you would do is cause her embarrassment. I wouldn't say a thing.
My thoughts exactly...
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| Posted 2/21/11 9:36 AM |
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Hope2009
Thankful
Member since 1/09 4429 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Delicate situation
I agree with everyone, sounds like she already knows.
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| Posted 2/21/11 9:46 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Delicate situation
Posted by NYPD-Wife
I wouldn't say anything, I am sure she knows since she mentioned "legal issues".
I am putting myself in her shoes and if a co-worker admitted to googling my fiancés name I would be a little disturbed.
Seriously! 
To be honest I think its incredibly rude and presumptuous of you to go google his name.
I dated a guy in NY who couldn't leave the state (felony) People make mistakes, pay their dues. Not ever criminal is forever damned. The whole point of justice is rehabilitation and learning to be a productive part of society. To make amends and do right.
Not sure what this guy was arrested for but to be honest I think its horrible that you assumed to go 'find out'. What difference does it make to you? You say she isn't a close friend. Just a coworker. What makes you feel so entitled? Its not like she's worried, she's happy. And obviously she knows "legal issues" why did you have to pry?
Ugh. Sorry that just rubs me the wrong way.
I sincerely hope you keep it to yourself and forget about it.
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| Posted 2/21/11 10:00 AM |
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