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DH question for you ladies....
Does your DH do this?
Whenever Cailen cries, I'm the 1st one that goes to him... No matter what is going on - so, if we are eating dinner, Cailen will cry. DH doesn't go to him, I do. And then DH will sit there and eat his dinner while mine goes cold while I feed Cailen. He never even offers to take over. It baffles me...
Also, if I'm alone with Cai, and he cries, I just go to him and see what he needs. When DH is with him, normally playing a video game or watching TV, he just doesnt go over and check on him...
Is this just a guy thing I'm going to have to get used to? I mean, he will tend to Cailen, play with him, talk to him... its not like he ignores him or anything, but I feel he will just eat after I have been with Cailen all day, and its beginning to annoy me...
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Posted 4/30/07 4:24 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
DH was like this in the beginning too. To him, I was home on maternity, so I didn't "work", so taking care of DD was 100% my responsibility in his eyes.
Maybe try to keep yourself occupied and ask DH to attend to him.
Like, say "oh, I am in the middle of cooking, can you see what he needs?". Maybe then he will get the hint 
Good luck!
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:32 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
I have to say my DH wasn't like this and for the most part still isn't. Now ask me if there are other things I would like to complain about! 
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:34 PM |
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
Posted by BabyCote2006
DH was like this in the beginning too. To him, I was home on maternity, so I didn't "work", so taking care of DD was 100% my responsibility in his eyes.
Maybe try to keep yourself occupied and ask DH to attend to him.
Like, say "oh, I am in the middle of cooking, can you see what he needs?". Maybe then he will get the hint
Good luck!
See - he cooks though, so there goes that excuse! Maybe he would post about me not cooking if he ever went onto LIF!
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:36 PM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
No, DH did not do that, he was crazy over her and sometimes I would just say, let her fuss for a minute, but that was when she was a little older... Not a real newborn.
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:37 PM |
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wenleegav
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/07 36 total posts
Name:
Wendy
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
don't mean to be confrontational at all  .... why do you have to check the baby every time he makes a sound? It is ok to let them fuss a bit and work them selves back to sleep.....
I say take a breather and leave the baby to fuss a bit.... take your Dhs lead and sit back a bit... don't ignore a screaming baby but a fuss here and there... keep on eating your dinner while it is still yummy....
And yes, most DHs are pretty much the same ... they wait cause they know that no matter how hard they try to do it right, it will be wrong so they let us take the lead....
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:39 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
My Dh has been great with DD but he does do somethings differently then I do. We each have our own ways and it's good for DD to have a mix of us.
As far as going to dd when she cries...he will get up before me a lot of times.
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:45 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
DH did that. he still does a little. Sometimes, I just don't tend to him and let DH do it. Or I say "are you going to get that?" LOL.
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:47 PM |
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poc53
LIF Infant
Member since 1/06 97 total posts
Name:
E and P
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
To answer your question, No my DH does not do this.
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| Posted 4/30/07 4:47 PM |
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
don't mean to be confrontational at all .... why do you have to check the baby every time he makes a sound? It is ok to let them fuss a bit and work them selves back to sleep.....
I really mean when he cries more than fusses... I dont go for the little whines and whimpers! 
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| Posted 4/30/07 5:21 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
It depends. Since we have two DC, when I'm home it's usually me with 4yo DS, and DW gets 1yo DD. However, if DW is cooking, I will definitely get DD. Also, a lot of times in the middle of the night, I'll get up if DD is crying. I'm a lighter sleeper most of the time than DW, so I figure if I'm awake anyway, I might as well deal with DD and let DW sleep. Last night I was with DS for half an hour around midnight because he caught my raspy cough. Again, I figured since I was up, I would try and let DW sleep. DW definitely takes care of DC much more than I do, but I try to help out as much as possible.
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| Posted 5/1/07 7:09 AM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
DH has done this since the beg.
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| Posted 5/1/07 7:16 AM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
DH did this in the beginning also...I spent the first 2 months "training" him to do these things that I think are really obvious to me  Now he is much better
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| Posted 5/1/07 8:14 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
Dh did this a lot, more so in the beginning, but to a degree, he still does. Part of it is that he just doesn't have the instincts that I do. When Alex was born, if she even wimpered, I usually knew exactly what she wanted, and how to soothe her. DH had no clue, and more often than not would wake me up on "his nights" to BF her because that was our fail-safe to soothe her back to sleep (BIG mistake).
As Alex got older, and DH spent more time with her, he started to learn - I think it's a process - for women it's instinctual, for men, it has to be learned, and the only way it's going to happen is if they spend more time with the baby.
Yes, he probably won't jump as quickly as you do, and he probably won't do things the way you would, but it's really important to sit back and let your DH navigate his way to finding the right balance for himself and baby. And, honestly, I think it's a good for the baby when he/she learns that he/she has to adapt to different styles. In our family, I'm the spoiler - I'll jump for anything and everything Alex needs, and now she KNOWS that and totally manipulates me. On the other hand, DH doesn't take ANY crap from her, and she KNOWS it, and in all honesty, that's what keeps her grounded. So, in the end, it all balances out 
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| Posted 5/1/07 8:25 AM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
80% of the time if he's home. I go to them first. Though I will admit to me saying to John to get up & see whats wrong.
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| Posted 5/1/07 8:34 AM |
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missrock
Beautiful!!!!
Member since 5/06 3808 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
Yes, Yes and Yes. My DH still does that. Last night we were eating dinner and Paige was crying and, of course, I had to wait to eat until he was done. Or, I will eat with her on my lap which makes my dinner not very enjoyable.
I also go to her because I feel like i can comfort her more than him. He doesnt know what to do. I have been trying to teach him.
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| Posted 5/1/07 8:38 AM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
My DH is the same way most of the time. After a year, sometimes he makes a move to go get her right away and I have to tell him it is okay to let her fuss a bit. If she is full-out crying we go in, but yes, it is usually me who makes the first move.
and yes, I was always the one to eat the cold meal.
Message edited 5/1/2007 9:04:09 AM.
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| Posted 5/1/07 9:02 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
Dh is on and off about this. Sometimes he'll make the first move, other times it's like he doesn't even hear him. We've both eaten cold meals though.
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| Posted 5/1/07 9:11 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
No, my DH didnt do that. He was very attentitive and still is. He always gives me breaks, he would come home from a 12 hour day and take over so that I could go to sleep or do whatever I needed to. He would also call me throughout the day to make sure I was ok or if I needed something. He would feed her, change her diaper, he still does this to this day. When she cries, daddy runs to her to see whats wrong. she lights up when she see's him, I know they are going to have a special bond.
My gf is going through this , she said her husband is useless and she thinks its b/c he allready has children ( daughter 10) and is older than her and thats why?
Message edited 5/1/2007 11:12:15 AM.
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| Posted 5/1/07 11:09 AM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
Dh wasen't around much after the first 6 weeks, but when he was we had a video mointor and he would help..luckily Dh was a fast eater. If it was poop then he would call me back.
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| Posted 5/1/07 11:12 AM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
My DH was like that sometimes and when I told him I would love to have hot food for once he helped a little more. You need to tell him to get him a$$ us and help. If you don't he'll just assume you will take care of the baby when he cries. Trust me!!!
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| Posted 5/1/07 11:13 AM |
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RobeyMuse
my little man
Member since 5/05 1350 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
DH was like that in the beginning, now he is usually the first one to get him. And usually he will hold him/play with him so I can eat first. In the beginning when I was just nursing, I had to be the one to feed him, now DH helps out tremendously.
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| Posted 5/1/07 11:41 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
Day on he would pick up Kerri when she cried and still comforts her even if I am home
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| Posted 5/1/07 11:43 AM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
ugh. unfortunately this is my DH - - - - its gotten a little better now that DD is almost a year old but no dramatic improvements....
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| Posted 5/1/07 11:47 AM |
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Re: DH question for you ladies....
I actually asked DH about this last night - I'm like - why am I always the one getting himw hen we are eating? I said, not that I mind, but...
He said - well, obviously you DO mind, and you always get there 1st...
So, I am going to try and hold back and let DH jump in once in a while - thanks ladies!
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| Posted 5/1/07 12:22 PM |
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