DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

Ugh I feel my blood pressure going up-I am so flipping frustrated.

So here is my deal-

Since about 35 1/2 weeks, I've been experiencing contractions. Naturally, they don't do anything, as I am completely closed and did not drop at all at my 36 week appointment. I have my C on March 1st, so at least there is an end in sight. About the same time, I have been experiencing horrible pain in between my legs-it hurts to even put pants on, let alone walk. I imagine this is normal and my OB said besides Tylenol and rest, there is nothing I can do.

Needless to say, my nesting efforts are shot-I can't do anything I want because the pain is horrible-nevermind the back spasms that are going along with them.

DH knows this and I begged him to help around the house. We are not really in a position to hire a cleaning lady and my house has been falling to pieces since I can't move and God forbid he puts anything away. I am getting so upset. I asked him 3 weeks ago to clean the bathroom-wait, no, 4 weeks ago. I ask every week. Nothing. I asked him to put away his clothes that I washed A MONTH AGO-they are still in the laundry basket. We are sharing our bedroom with Miss Bean until she is closer to 6 months so we can work on some things in the house. I've asked him to fix the collapsed bar in the closet and remove some of his clothes and put them in the office closet-2 months ago. I have no space in our room as it is for my clothes and I get so upset because I have no where to put anything. 90% of his stuff doesn't even fit right now because he gained weight during my pregnancy and guess what? It is ALL STILL THERE! This includes a corner in the room full of his sh!t and I am in such a wretched mood that I am ready to get a garbage bag and just throw his stuff out since I am tired of asking. I feel like he is not helping and I don't need that stress once Miss Bean is here, considering I have little family here in FL and little to no help-I can see this place become a bigger dump, and I feel like he is resisting making room in our life for his child (that is probably more my hormones).

The worst part is his mother is coming March 2nd and I imagine she will see the mess and she is ultra critical. I will naturally be blamed since I am not working right now. I wish so much I can just accomplish everything, but I am in too much pain. Last time I did, I wound up with back spasms and having to take percocet, which makes me upset. I don't want to have to do that because I need to do everything. If he would just pick up after himself and do the few things I ask, it wouldn't get to this point.

I am at a loss-if you got to the end of this, thanks.

If anyone has any idea how to make the pain more manageable so I can do things, even better. Doing my vacuuming, laundry, etc is hard enough. Nevermind I am the one who set up every single baby item in this house.

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

First of all

Second of all

I am so mad for you. It should not matter that you are home - you are physically unable to do these things. I have that same pain between my legs, so I know exactly what you mean - it is awful and I don't even have your bad back!

When is his next day off? Give him a list of things that HAVE to be done (like vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom). Then ask him for "help" sorting out and putting away his clothes (as in, you point and he does it).

Don't give him an choice, don't ask. Tell. My DH can be the same way, if I make it a request he doesn't hear me, but if I tell him something has to be done right there, he does it.

Good luck and vent away!

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

you must be so exhausted at this point. you are going to have to make him a list and be on his azzz to complete it before baby comes.

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

Thanks! I just blew up on him and started screaming. He is in the bathroom cleaning now. I told him I will be inspecting. I think the list is a great idea. I am so stressed because besides the pain, we are on a short time span until Miss Bean is here with us. I don't want to save it all for the last minute!

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

I find I can get DH to do things better if I make lists- otherwise he just loses focus. Maybe you could make a list of to-dos and then talk to DH about making a specific day where there is no work, no tv, nothing but checking off items from the list- with him doing the work and you just sort of supervising and maybe sitting and doing some light sorting, making a few sandwiches, etc.

Anyway, I hope you figure out how to get DH to pull it together. I know it can be frustrating. My DH is a carpenter and it took like a month of nagging to get a freaking shelf up in the nursery...

PS I have the paid between my legs (hahaha oops I meant PAIN... I wish I had something being paid because of what's between my legs...) like my pelvis is ripping apart, and it helps not to spread- like when you get in the car sit down first and then swing both legs in together- try to do similar "leg together" moves for getting in bed, putting on pants etc.

Message edited 2/13/2010 5:30:42 PM.

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

My OB said that I should still walk. I don't think he comprehended how bad the pain is. And it makes me unsteady, which is scaring me. I almost fell a few times in the past few days. This is the reason why I need him to pick up slack. I started making his list for him.

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

I am so sorry are so uncomfortable and that you have to deal with this! Glad your DH is finally cleaning and helping you the list is a good idea so it keeps both of you organize

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

I think I wrote this exact vent last december when I was pregnant with my son. I was having the same type of pains and such, and it was awful. And my MIL stayed at our place while we were in the hospital because she didn't want to drive the hour back and forth , so I heard alot of BS from her.

Anyways, my advice is make a list. Show it to him, and say you will check 2 of these things off every day for the next week ((or however many things you need him to do)). If you do not check anything off in a day, I will do xyz. I told DH that I would cut wires in the house . Like his PS3 etc. He knew I was serious, and I would have been. There is no reason for him not to be helping, and if you nip this in the bud now he will more than likely keep up this routine when the baby is home!

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

Mich - I'll help

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

Posted by mrswask

Mich - I'll help

Re: DH Vent and I am just miserable at 37 weeks vent-LONG

Posted by mrspalomino148


If told DH that I would cut wires in the house . Like his PS3 etc. He knew I was serious, and I would have been. There is no reason for him not to be helping, and if you nip this in the bud now he will more than likely keep up this routine when the baby is home!