DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

I get along with DH's family...but sometimes I feel like its more that I just tolerate them. I really never make any waves b/c I just feel like it would cause DH more stress than anything else so I tend to keep my mouth shut. BUT......I was soo annoyed on XMas day. We went to BIL's house (DH's brother). My DS fell asleep in my arms and we were just about to have dinner....which was perfect so that I could actually sit and enjoy a meal with everyone. I didn't want to put him in one of the bedrooms b/c they are in the other side of the house and if he woke up I wouldn't be able to hear him with all the noise of the family. So I asked BIL for a towel so I could lay DS on the couch. That way I could see him and tend to him right away if he woke up. (I would also put a chair along side so he couldn't fall off the couch.) Well along comes SIL. She says she does NOT want him napping on the couch because he might spit up. Ummm OK first of all DS barely spits up and second durr thats why I asked for a towel. Her solution.....let him nap on the FLOOR. I was like Yeah right I'm gonna let my 8 month old nap on the cold floor on a towel while other kids are running all around him....possibly falling ON him while he naps. Soooo I say no thank you and held him while everyone else ate....all the while rolling my eyes to myself. Even BIL quietly said "sorry Lisa." I could tell he was embarrassed by her. DH insisted I eat first and he hold DS but I was in no mood to sit at the table with her at that moment She's such a B**** sometimes

Message edited 12/28/2010 3:41:06 PM.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

No, you weren't wrong - She was totally rude and 'un' gracious (if that's a word) Even if she WAS worried about him spitting up on her couch ..........really? You have guests, you kind of just graciously suck it up and deal w/ those kind of things - what she SHOULD have done is covered her coudh in a BLANKET for the baby to nap on - Couch protected, baby comfortable - end of story .........what was the big deal ??

Next time, bring the PNP with you !!

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Not wrong, but is he still in his infant carrier? at that age I let DS nap in his carrier to be protected and not on the floor.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

sorry but that is so rude!! you asked for a towel...I would of done the same thing!

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

So not wrong...Some people just don't think or care how their actions affect others..

I was in a similar situation with my brother because he is anal retentive and insisted on cleaning up the room where DS's naps and put away the video monitor. DS was ready for a nap just as we sat down to eat and because I never would have been able to hear him, I had no choice but to stay in the room with him. I also missed Christmas dinner. I made it well known to my brother that I was pi$$ed at him the rest of the night. I got to eat cold stuffing and veggies for dinner.

I told everyone that next year I am doing Christmas dinner and if you want to come, great. If not, great....Good luck.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

spit up, really?? oh man. It was very unthoughtful of her, she'd rather you sit alone in a room while everyone else eats instead of allowing your DS to sleep on a towel on her couch? People are strange. & at 8 months. . babies usually no longer spit up!! Does she not have children?

Does he sleep in a pack n play? That was my life saver this christmas

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

I'm playing devil's advocate here...
Does SIL have children? The reason I ask is if it were a new couch & she wasn't familiar with double toweling & baby spit-up, I could see her hesitation.

I don't think you were wrong for holiding him because he was safe but in the future, I'd say you need to be prepared with a pack & play or some way of confining DS at a person's house. It's up to us to ensure there is equipment around for us to be able to enjoy the meal with the family, not for others to accomodate us.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Posted by ShaunsMommy

Posted by BAM 2009

So not wrong...Some people just don't think or care how their actions affect others..

I was in a similar situation with my brother because he is anal retentive and insisted on cleaning up the room where DS's naps and put away the video monitor. DS was ready for a nap just as we sat down to eat and because I never would have been able to hear him, I had no choice but to stay in the room with him. I also missed Christmas dinner. I made it well known to my brother that I was pi$$ed at him the rest of the night. I got to eat cold stuffing and veggies for dinner.

I told everyone that next year I am doing Christmas dinner and if you want to come, great. If not, great....Good luck.

Oh whoa that was really rude as well!!
People are seriously unreal!!

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Posted by BAM 2009

Next time you are invited over to their house tell them you can only stay until it is nap time and then you have to leave. Since you can't put him down to sleep anywhere you can't stay long. I do that with my Mom because my brother is always putting DS's pnp away and everything else..It is a PITA to take it all out and assemble it when my son is ready "now" for a nap. I don't understand what people think!!!!

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Posted by ShaunsMommy

Posted by BAM 2009

Next time you are invited over to their house tell them you can only stay until it is nap time and then you have to leave. Since you can't put him down to sleep anywhere you can't stay long. I do that with my Mom because my brother is always putting DS's pnp away and everything else..It is a PITA to take it all out and assemble it when my son is ready "now" for a nap. I don't understand what people think!!!!

no disrespect but WHAT is his deal?!?!?! Geesh!!! Leave the ***** PNP (and any other baby things) ALONE dude!!!! Too bad my SIL is married we could have hooked them up

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Posted by DPerotti

Posted by nrthshgrl

I'm playing devil's advocate here...
Does SIL have children? The reason I ask is if it were a new couch & she wasn't familiar with double toweling & baby spit-up, I could see her hesitation.

I don't think you were wrong for holiding him because he was safe but in the future, I'd say you need to be prepared with a pack & play or some way of confining DS at a person's house. It's up to us to ensure there is equipment around for us to be able to enjoy the meal with the family, not for others to accomodate us.

While I agree, that yes we have to bring things to accomodate our own children (hence why I brought my pack n play) . . .it was Christmas. She made her sit alone while everyone else enjoyed dinner I would never do that to someone whether or not I had children.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

Posted by MarisaK

Posted by ShaunsMommy

Posted by BAM 2009

Next time you are invited over to their house tell them you can only stay until it is nap time and then you have to leave. Since you can't put him down to sleep anywhere you can't stay long. I do that with my Mom because my brother is always putting DS's pnp away and everything else..It is a PITA to take it all out and assemble it when my son is ready "now" for a nap. I don't understand what people think!!!!

no disrespect but WHAT is his deal?!?!?! Geesh!!! Leave the ***** PNP (and any other baby things) ALONE dude!!!! Too bad my SIL is married we could have hooked them up

Ehhh - this I disagree with.
I don't expect my Mom to keep my son's PNP set up in HER home (She does b/c it's not in anyoen's way) but if it was annoying my sister (who lives @ home) and my son didn't use it on a regular basis, I wouldn't expect that it be left out at all times to make MY life easier when I was there - I'd just set it up when I got there if I knew Sean would probably have to nap -

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

who does that? what the hell is wrong with people???? with FAMILY?

i cannot ever in a million years imagine myself telling someone they couldn't use my couch for their TINY BABY. not pre child and certainly not now.

and I also cannot imagine thinking that someone in my family should lug a play pen to my house every time they visit with the eleventy hundred other things they lug about when having a child.

it's stuff like this that makes me lose my faith in humanity.

where I come from, you figure it out and make it work for the people around you. your family. those that you love.

I would have built you a cradle out of a drawer and some old table legs if I had to, so you could join us for dinner!! how uneffingbelievable!!

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

you weren't wrong at all.
what kind of a person would not want a baby who is out of their home to atleast be comfy on their couch??

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

The only reason I wouldn't want a baby on my couch is that I would worry he/she would roll off. Whatever the situation, I would have figured out a way to allow a new mom, especially a family member, sit down and eat an uninterrupted meal on Christmas.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

you want to know something else...I actually had my uncle VACCUM his own bedroom so I could put luce down on the floor.

and you know what, HE DID it. HAPPILY! so that I could enjoy their party and so that my son could sleep SAFELY.

I am just so sorry. I find that to be such a slap.

ETA: the point is that he did what he needed to do so that *I* felt comfortable with my son in his home. that is how it should be. imnsho.

Message edited 12/28/2010 4:50:00 PM.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

I do not think you over reacted, but that being said I napped DD on the floor at my aunts house on Christmas had I asked my aunt if she could nap on the couch and was told no I would have been ticked. Especially since you were putting something under him. I laid her on a blanket, on the floor where I could see her from my seat. She is on the go so I was nervous to put her on a couch where I wouldn't have a visual.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

I agree, I wouldn't put AJ on the floor unless I built a fort around her. Which I have. But the floor wouldn't bother me as much as the kids.

Honestly though, I'm a PRO at eating a meal with AJ in my arms. She's 2 now and I STILL do it. I can cut steak and enjoy my meal just fine. I put a towel over her in case anything falls (nothing has). I don't know how it started but I hate putting her down when she's asleep. Even more now that she's older and so RARELY sleeps in my arms. She will wake up most of the time if I put her down since I'm warm and whatever I'm putting her on isn't.

My issue is people want to take her FROM me so I can eat and I'd rather they didn't.

But yeah, I'd put her on the floor no problem. I'd even prefer it over a couch. My fear of her falling off (yes, even at 2 ) is too great. Floor is fine as long as it has a pile of towels, blankets and like I said as long as there's a fort around her

I think she should have found you an option though that made you comfortable.

Re: DH's family....a vent...was I wrong??

What a witch! My dd peed on my aunt and uncles carpet mid diaper change. Soaked the blanket she was on and the rug. I asked my uncle for rug cleaner and he laughed. No big deal then he cleaned it. Wonder what she would have done then?