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nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
U had kids???
what changed after kids?? Please let me know... Im TTC and i want to see what im in for LOL THE GOOD AND THE BAD PLEASE>
PS... SAHM--- do u have to do everything now???
Message edited 12/15/2005 6:00:43 PM.
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Posted 12/15/05 6:00 PM  |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
Name:
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Things have gotten better:)
I read "becoming babywise" by ezzo and it's all about keeping your marriage strong with a baby. You have to take some of it with a grain of salt.
Only main difference is I eat alot less when we go out if we bring the baby since if Jack does get fussy or needs a change it's always on me, it also is hard to prepared a big dinner and be able to sit and eat it but were working around that and just eating later since the baby has a 7pm bedtime so after 7 we eat with a bottle of something, watch a movie and are in bed by 10pm.
My husband has been great, hasen't changed one dirty diaper but when he is around he does what he can but even with things going very well and actually better financially we know we aren't ready for a #2 anytime too soon.
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| Posted 12/15/05 6:09 PM |
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nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
has yoru sex life also changed??? i here that happens
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| Posted 12/15/05 6:11 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
With 2 very active kids, we are sometimes very stressed out. BUT..when we get time together, either after they go to bed or going out, we have a great time. We have bonded alot more after having the kids, but it is still hard with both of us working.
As far as sex, we (especially me lately) get tired more easily taking care of 2 kids and we try for once a week but it just keeps getting better.
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| Posted 12/15/05 8:15 PM |
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aliasPook
Blessed x 3
Member since 6/05 2460 total posts
Name:
Laurie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
I think things are the same if not better because now he has becaome more sensitive...
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| Posted 12/16/05 6:00 AM |
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Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!
Member since 7/05 15652 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Things definately change a lot, but they aren't all in negative ways.
I am completely enjoying the fact that we are a little "family." We were a couple before, and enjoyed spending time together -- but now we're a little family. I love going out and doing things together -- and I also love staying home and playing with the baby together. In many ways it makes me just feel so much strongly for him because of the way he is so great with our little daughter.
Don't get me wrong, there are strains at times. Sometimes I feel guilty about him helping with her as much as he has to because I went back to work -- and then other times I really need him to help me, because I'm exhausted and need a break. I'm sometimes torn between those feelings and I think he is also at times.
Also spontaneous sex is kind of non-existant right now. We actually have to make a point of being with eachother when we have the opportunity to. We have to make sure she's sleeping and that we'll actually be able to enjoy eachother and not rush or be interupted .... so .... yea, spontanety (i can't spell) is pretty much out the window, for now at least -- she's only 10 weeks.
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| Posted 12/16/05 6:04 AM |
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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Well, we have only been parents 2 1/2 weeks, but so far our relationship is great!
It is amazing to me to see how great he is with her, and how wonderful he was with me too during the whole pregnancy, labor and delivery.
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| Posted 12/16/05 7:27 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Message edited 12/16/2011 2:42:28 PM.
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| Posted 12/16/05 8:27 AM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
Name:
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by nancygrace
has yoru sex life also changed??? i here that happens
Only that is has to happen during Nap or sleep time.
But that's 7pm-7am, 10a-11:30am or 3pm-5pm so as of right now no complaints and I learned that my former BC pills were affecting my drive greatly so since I switch pills after the baby things have only gotten better.
Now, it is odd how our son "knows" and seems to wake up alot guess he isn't ready for a sibling yet..lol
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| Posted 12/16/05 8:56 AM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
glad it's been a bonding experience for most. i will go against that and say that the strain on my marriage has been enormous. we fight a lot and about very minor, if not stupid things. we snap at each other and don't spend a lot of time together. i work FT and he watches our son. when i come home from work he hands andrew off to me and goes out or goes to play online poker. by the time he comes upstairs i am asleep. on weekends he goes to work, so i don't see him then either.
i think if andrew were an easier newborn (he was colicky and never slept) things in general would have been easier.
as far as intimacy, well you can imagine that has suffered too...
i definitely feel like i'm in the minority, so don't worry!
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| Posted 12/16/05 10:24 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
[
Message edited 12/16/2011 2:42:51 PM.
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| Posted 12/16/05 10:46 AM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by mommy2bellabean
we are living the same life...I work and he watches, and yes he does hand off Bella to me when I walk in the door and that is hard on me because I feel like I have no break unless I am sleeping. And because we are cranky we snap at each other a whole hell of a lot. But Bella is a pretty good kid too...she sleeps from 9-3 and 3:30-8 most days...
BUT I miss her all day, so the 2-3 hours before bed are important to me. And the fact that we bicker about minor things is OK for me because it passes...
I know there are brighter days for you...and don't think we aren't all going through the same thing...I second guess myself ALL the time, but one smile from her and we seem to forget it all...
i agree that seeing andrew and being with him makes most other things fade. but sometimes i feel that it is just me wanting to try and fix our relationship (mine and DH). i ask him to tell me about his day and if he is stressed out and let's talk and he just tunes me out most times. so it seems like a losing battle sometimes. ...
 s to all of my fellow stressed out mommies
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| Posted 12/16/05 11:05 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
I have to say that other than minor things, our relationship hasn't really changed and if it has, it's only for the better.
The things that have changed are that of course we can't just go out anywhere we want whenever the moment strikes us. It takes more planning for any kind of outing but that's not a big deal.
We have to make a bigger effort to be more considerate of each other's needs, but that's a good thing. We both work full time so we both understand how hard it is to balance work, life, and the baby.
DH is a huge help with the baby...I wouldn't even call it "help", we truly share equally in taking care of our son. This is just me and my personality, but I could not deal with a man who thinks that raising the baby is a woman's responsibility alone. If my DH were like that, I would have never married him or we would have been divorced by now.
As far as intimacy, spontaneity is a little harder yes, but we were never that spontaneous to begin with.  Other than that, it's as good as ever!
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| Posted 12/16/05 11:15 AM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
Name:
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by paulandles912
glad it's been a bonding experience for most. i will go against that and say that the strain on my marriage has been enormous. we fight a lot and about very minor, if not stupid things. we snap at each other and don't spend a lot of time together. i work FT and he watches our son. when i come home from work he hands andrew off to me and goes out or goes to play online poker. by the time he comes upstairs i am asleep. on weekends he goes to work, so i don't see him then either.
i think if andrew were an easier newborn (he was colicky and never slept) things in general would have been easier.
as far as intimacy, well you can imagine that has suffered too...
i definitely feel like i'm in the minority, so don't worry!
I wasn't going to post because I didn't want to be the only one with a negative comment. But I can relate to your post 100%. While we both absolutely love and adore Claire our marriage has been put under enormous stress and we bicker much more then before. I think the main reasons are that we both work FT and we just don't have time to fit everything into the day. Also we have had inlaw issues and DH seems to commit our limited free time to other obligations which of course I am very unhappy with. I am hoping in time things settle out better, but as you can imagine intimacy has suffered as well.....again it seems most people are happier so I am probably the minority.
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| Posted 12/16/05 11:45 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by paulandles912
glad it's been a bonding experience for most. i will go against that and say that the strain on my marriage has been enormous. we fight a lot and about very minor, if not stupid things. we snap at each other and don't spend a lot of time together. i work FT and he watches our son. when i come home from work he hands andrew off to me and goes out or goes to play online poker. by the time he comes upstairs i am asleep. on weekends he goes to work, so i don't see him then either.
i think if andrew were an easier newborn (he was colicky and never slept) things in general would have been easier.
as far as intimacy, well you can imagine that has suffered too...
i definitely feel like i'm in the minority, so don't worry!
I don't think you are. As the older your child gets, the harder it gets. You both have to be on the same page with discipline and it is hard.
Not that I wouldn't have had my kids, but I just wish someone would have said, it was hard and as they get older it does get harder. I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old. It was MUCH easier when they were babies.
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| Posted 12/16/05 12:20 PM |
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Texas4Good
My Boys
Member since 6/05 1019 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Having Frankie has brought the two of us even closer together. I mean we were close, but now with a baby in our lives, we are even more in love with each other. My DH has changed now that he is a father- he does more around the house to help me out and he just adores that baby. Having a baby brings so much love into your life, you will know what I am saying when the day comes for you. I don't think anyone can ever imagine it, until you actually experience it. It is great! Dh can't wait to get started on #2 already... Frankie is only 3 weeks old 
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| Posted 12/16/05 12:26 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Message edited 12/16/2011 2:43:19 PM.
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| Posted 12/16/05 2:22 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
In the beginning it was wonderful...Dh helped out with the baby and we were starting to work together nicely. Now that Jared is 6 months old we are hardly intimate at all.
In fact, my DH just said to me yesterday that he feels that our relationship is like a brother/sister relationship. He just got over being sick and I have my wonderful period so what kind of intimacy would you like? 
My DH has to realize that a relationship is TWO people and that he has to do some things as well.
I'm just having a bad week, I guess...
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| Posted 12/16/05 2:28 PM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by mommy2bellabean
...sometimes at 4 am I want to claw his pretty blue eyes out but I know how much we love each other so it makes it a little better..
haha, i've been there! i think with us, we need to get back to that feeling of being partners and friends and learning how to share in the responsibility and joy of raising our son. our stupid fights are so petty and get in the way of our efforts to re-commit to our relationship.
andrew is such a joy and we enjoy our time with him. i am hoping we can sort through the rest to become a happy, well adjusted family...
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| Posted 12/16/05 2:34 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Message edited 12/16/2011 2:43:33 PM.
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| Posted 12/16/05 2:39 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Message edited 12/16/2011 2:43:47 PM.
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| Posted 12/16/05 2:42 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by curley999
Posted by paulandles912
glad it's been a bonding experience for most. i will go against that and say that the strain on my marriage has been enormous. we fight a lot and about very minor, if not stupid things. we snap at each other and don't spend a lot of time together. i work FT and he watches our son. when i come home from work he hands andrew off to me and goes out or goes to play online poker. by the time he comes upstairs i am asleep. on weekends he goes to work, so i don't see him then either.
i think if andrew were an easier newborn (he was colicky and never slept) things in general would have been easier.
as far as intimacy, well you can imagine that has suffered too...
i definitely feel like i'm in the minority, so don't worry!
I wasn't going to post because I didn't want to be the only one with a negative comment. But I can relate to your post 100%. While we both absolutely love and adore Claire our marriage has been put under enormous stress and we bicker much more then before. I think the main reasons are that we both work FT and we just don't have time to fit everything into the day. Also we have had inlaw issues and DH seems to commit our limited free time to other obligations which of course I am very unhappy with. I am hoping in time things settle out better, but as you can imagine intimacy has suffered as well.....again it seems most people are happier so I am probably the minority.
Same here and honestly I am having a really bad day today and I don't have the energy to post my take on things but let's just say they S U C K right now. 
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| Posted 12/16/05 2:52 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by Stefanie
My DH has to realize that a relationship is TWO people and that he has to do some things as well.
I'm just having a bad week, I guess...
sorry you are having a bad week Stef...I was like that a few weeks ago...DH almost got tossed out the window...sad thing is he doesn't know how close he was 
hope this weekend is better for you...
Thanks Kelly...I hope so too...or he will be out the window!!!
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| Posted 12/16/05 2:59 PM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when......
Posted by monkeybride
Same here and honestly I am having a really bad day today and I don't have the energy to post my take on things but let's just say they S U C K right now.
sorry you're going through a rough time. i know the feeling.
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| Posted 12/16/05 3:13 PM |
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nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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Re: did things change b/w u and yoru DH when.. UPDATED...
I have to say Im terified to see what will happen with my in-laws when i have kids!!! My MIL keeps droping hints on how she wants a grandchild. SO get this... I lied to her the other day and told her not for another year. I just wanted her OFF MY F@#$in BACK!! SHe was crushed LOL LOL she said "I guess im not gonna get my Christmas wish" I felt like saying YOUR WISH!!! ITS NOT UR BABY!!! Then she proceeded to try and convinve me to have one!!!!!! AND........ Then i found out that behind my back she said that she felt bad for my DH bc he s going to be an old father! (meanwhile hes only 34) IM so scared to see whats going to arrise when i do have kids. My DH thinks his mom can do no wrong. ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?????
Message edited 12/16/2005 4:25:11 PM.
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| Posted 12/16/05 4:23 PM |
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