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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
A good friend of mine is getting married in October. Second wedding, big shindig. All of our friends were at the first (also big) wedding.
I was talking to my best friend last night (she is in the same crew) and she said she doesn't feel we have to give a gift at all, and if we do it can be more sentimental than monetary.
I mentioned it to my mom and she said she had done the same thing for her friends' second weddings.
I will add this is not in NY, it's in south Jersey.
Also the couple can't live together for 10 years, and they each own their own homes....
GO, lol.
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Posted 7/12/18 3:38 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
why can't they live together for 10 years?
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:52 PM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would still give a normal wedding gift.
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:53 PM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:54 PM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
The only time I've heard of people not giving gifts for second/third/whatever weddings is if the couple requested no gifts. Sometimes people give more "registry" type gifts as opposed to cash.
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:55 PM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
Uhhhh why bother getting married now? Why not just wait till the oldest is 18. This sounds unnecessarily complicated.
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:56 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
interesting.
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:56 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
i would give a gift.
i'm still being invited to a party to celebrate an occasion. just like if it were a backyard wedding or a fancy wedding... the first or the third, i would give what i can afford at the time of the wedding.
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:58 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I don't give as much for second weddings. I usually give a non monetary gift the second time around.
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| Posted 7/12/18 3:59 PM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I'd always give a gift. You are celebrating the new relationship...what does it have to do with the old? If you choose not to go then dont feel obligated to give a gift, but if you go and celebrate i would!
I also think it is odd that people feel this way for a lot of second marriages. What if it is one of the people in the couples first marriage. That seems so wrong.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:01 PM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would still give a gift for a second wedding.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:01 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I’d probably give the same gift as I would for a first wedding.
I’ve been to 2 weddings in south jersey and they were exactly the same as LI weddings with huge cocktail hours, Viennese, etc.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:01 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by mrsrainbow
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
Uhhhh why bother getting married now? Why not just wait till the oldest is 18. This sounds unnecessarily complicated.
I agree. I would just wait until we could live together.
What's the point in getting married?
Unless they need insurance coverage maybe? Something like that?
To answer the question, I'd give the same gift at a 2nd wedding as I would at a first.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:05 PM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsrainbow
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
Uhhhh why bother getting married now? Why not just wait till the oldest is 18. This sounds unnecessarily complicated.
I agree. I would just wait until we could live together.
What's the point in getting married?
Unless they need insurance coverage maybe? Something like that?
To answer the question, I'd give the same gift at a 2nd wedding as I would at a first.
No issues like insurance coverage....
They just want to get married. I don't get it either personally.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:07 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsrainbow
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
Uhhhh why bother getting married now? Why not just wait till the oldest is 18. This sounds unnecessarily complicated.
I agree. I would just wait until we could live together.
What's the point in getting married?
Unless they need insurance coverage maybe? Something like that?
To answer the question, I'd give the same gift at a 2nd wedding as I would at a first.
No issues like insurance coverage....
They just want to get married. I don't get it either personally.
Guess they really need that piece of paper that says- WE ARE MARRIED.
Very odd
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:08 PM |
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I'd give the same gift. Maybe by the 3rd of 4th wedding I'd start getting stingy.
Also length of time in between the weddings may weight into my decision a little - if she got the first time last year, immediately divorced, and now is doing another big wedding the I might rethink my gift amount, but it doesn't sound like that's the case.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:11 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Hofstra26
I don't give as much for second weddings. I usually give a non monetary gift the second time around.
This.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:11 PM |
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loveus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/13 684 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would never go to a party and not give a gift.
I would probably just write a check since I am lazy or you can always but a gift certificate to a nice restaurant (s).
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:11 PM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsrainbow
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
Uhhhh why bother getting married now? Why not just wait till the oldest is 18. This sounds unnecessarily complicated.
I agree. I would just wait until we could live together.
What's the point in getting married?
Unless they need insurance coverage maybe? Something like that?
To answer the question, I'd give the same gift at a 2nd wedding as I would at a first.
No issues like insurance coverage....
They just want to get married. I don't get it either personally.
Guess they really need that piece of paper that says- WE ARE MARRIED.
Very odd
OT: It's funny bc it's actually put some distance between us because I have been with my SO for longer and we DO live together and we aren't rushing for that piece of paper bc that's what it is to me at this point in my life. People already just assume we're married anyway
Message edited 7/12/2018 4:15:28 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:13 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
When I got married for the second time, I told everyone who was at my first wedding, not to get me anything. I just wanted them to be a part of the day. Almost all did though and equivalent to what I got at my first.
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| Posted 7/12/18 4:49 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
i would still give a gift and probably what I gave the first time but I don't give like everyone else does my average gift for 2 people is $150-$200.
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| Posted 7/12/18 5:19 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
That is what I always heard was the proper etiquette-if you gave a gift at the 1st, you shouldn't be expected to at the 2nd.
I probably would anyway, but maybe not as generous if the weddings were close together.
Message edited 10/17/2018 3:59:50 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/18 5:22 PM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by mrsrainbow
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MarathonKnitter
why can't they live together for 10 years?
They each have 50/50 custody they won't give up and live in different states. In 10 years the youngest will be 18
Uhhhh why bother getting married now? Why not just wait till the oldest is 18. This sounds unnecessarily complicated.
I know! Some how I sense a 3rd wedding in the future?!? That’s crazy! I would give a gift though regardless
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| Posted 7/12/18 5:38 PM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would give a gift if I was attending.
Everyone deserves to be happy in life.
Well not everyone. But most people.
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| Posted 7/12/18 6:22 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
No. I would give the same as I would at any wedding.
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| Posted 7/12/18 6:30 PM |
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