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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would still give a gift and give what I can regardless of whether it’s a first or second wedding
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Posted 7/12/18 6:40 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would still give a gift but, to be totally honest, probably less than if it were a first wedding.
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| Posted 7/12/18 7:24 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would give the same I would give at any other wedding. I don't understand why people think it should be any different. My family gets CRAZY when people throw sprinkles for people having a second, third, fourth baby.... Who the hell cares? It's a reason to be happy and celebrate, I give a gift because I am happy to celebrate with you. I never can understand why people turn a happy occasion into a reason to complain about having to give a gift (I'm not saying you are complaining, just venting about my own family). Life's too short. If someone is really concerned about laying out the money for a gift, don't go....
Also, FWIW, my wedding was my first wedding and my husband's second wedding. If someone didn't give us a gift at all because of that I probably would have rolled my eyes at it, but if they gave a smaller gift or a something non monetary I would have not cared either. To my knowledge, everyone gave similar to what they gave for the first wedding.
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| Posted 7/12/18 7:28 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Etiquette wise, no you aren’t supposed to gift at a second wedding. But I find that so outdated, so we have always gifted the same amount regardless of how many times anybody was married. The only one we didn’t was my SIL and that’s bc she was married twice in 1 year, and I’m not even sure what number she’s at now, she got the hint that we don’t care lol.
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| Posted 7/12/18 8:55 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would give the same.
When I was married for the 2nd time everyone gave us a gift. Some of the friends were at my 1st wedding.
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| Posted 7/12/18 9:00 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I've only been to one second wedding, and we were at the first one less than two years earlier. We gave a little less than our standard gift because the bride put and guest for my husband even though she and the groom knew we were engaged to be married. It pissed me off. Had they not done that we likely would have given our standard gift.
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| Posted 7/12/18 9:20 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would definitely still give a gift for a 2nd wedding. It's still a new couple starting their lives together. Why would it matter if one or both of them was married before?
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| Posted 7/12/18 9:49 PM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I got married twice. Some people attended both weddings. We received money as a gift. People gave more the second time around. Not sure if it’s because everyone is older now or they like my current dh more lol
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| Posted 7/13/18 1:59 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I would still give a gift of what I could afford. I would seriously consider not going, though, if it were a situation where someone cheated on their first spouse with the person they are marrying.
I think the situation you are in is a bit strange, but they could be getting married for health insurance reasons, etc. It’s what works for them—not ideal, but whatever.
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| Posted 7/13/18 4:21 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
If both were married before, I would give a gift off of the registry or a really nice silver picture frame.
They each have established houses, they aren't the typical young couple just starting out. Why would I need to give them cash ?
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| Posted 7/13/18 8:09 AM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by SusiBee
If both were married before, I would give a gift off of the registry or a really nice silver picture frame.
They each have established houses, they aren't the typical young couple just starting out. Why would I need to give them cash ?
That was actually what I thought later on, we're all not young, they aren't establishing a house together even...
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| Posted 7/13/18 10:14 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by SusiBee
If both were married before, I would give a gift off of the registry or a really nice silver picture frame.
They each have established houses, they aren't the typical young couple just starting out. Why would I need to give them cash ?
That was actually what I thought later on, we're all not young, they aren't establishing a house together even...
Maybe they are just looking for a fund raiser.
Getting married, but they can't live together, you said they aren't marrying for insurance purposes or anything like that, sounds like they just want a party and a fundraiser.
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| Posted 7/13/18 10:17 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by SusiBee
If both were married before, I would give a gift off of the registry or a really nice silver picture frame.
They each have established houses, they aren't the typical young couple just starting out. Why would I need to give them cash ?
That was actually what I thought later on, we're all not young, they aren't establishing a house together even...
Maybe they are just looking for a fund raiser.
Getting married, but they can't live together, you said they aren't marrying for insurance purposes or anything like that, sounds like they just want a party and a fundraiser.
Don't people normally spend more on the wedding than what they get for gifts? We probably spent about 4 times what people gave us in gifts when all was said and done and we didn't even have a wedding party so we didn't have a rehearsal dinner or anything like that. And it's not like their parent's would be paying for the wedding at this age.
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| Posted 7/13/18 10:47 AM |
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by SusiBee
If both were married before, I would give a gift off of the registry or a really nice silver picture frame.
They each have established houses, they aren't the typical young couple just starting out. Why would I need to give them cash ?
That was actually what I thought later on, we're all not young, they aren't establishing a house together even...
Maybe they are just looking for a fund raiser.
Getting married, but they can't live together, you said they aren't marrying for insurance purposes or anything like that, sounds like they just want a party and a fundraiser.
Don't people normally spend more on the wedding than what they get for gifts? We probably spent about 4 times what people gave us in gifts when all was said and done and we didn't even have a wedding party so we didn't have a rehearsal dinner or anything like that. And it's not like their parent's would be paying for the wedding at this age.
Her parents are paying for the wedding
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| Posted 7/13/18 11:10 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by SusiBee
If both were married before, I would give a gift off of the registry or a really nice silver picture frame.
They each have established houses, they aren't the typical young couple just starting out. Why would I need to give them cash ?
That was actually what I thought later on, we're all not young, they aren't establishing a house together even...
Maybe they are just looking for a fund raiser.
Getting married, but they can't live together, you said they aren't marrying for insurance purposes or anything like that, sounds like they just want a party and a fundraiser.
Don't people normally spend more on the wedding than what they get for gifts? We probably spent about 4 times what people gave us in gifts when all was said and done and we didn't even have a wedding party so we didn't have a rehearsal dinner or anything like that. And it's not like their parent's would be paying for the wedding at this age.
Her parents are paying for the wedding
LOL
Definite fundraiser
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| Posted 7/13/18 12:14 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by SusiBee
If both were married before, I would give a gift off of the registry or a really nice silver picture frame.
They each have established houses, they aren't the typical young couple just starting out. Why would I need to give them cash ?
That was actually what I thought later on, we're all not young, they aren't establishing a house together even...
Maybe they are just looking for a fund raiser.
Getting married, but they can't live together, you said they aren't marrying for insurance purposes or anything like that, sounds like they just want a party and a fundraiser.
Don't people normally spend more on the wedding than what they get for gifts? We probably spent about 4 times what people gave us in gifts when all was said and done and we didn't even have a wedding party so we didn't have a rehearsal dinner or anything like that. And it's not like their parent's would be paying for the wedding at this age.
Her parents are paying for the wedding
LOL
Definite fundraiser
ughhh - yeah. I can't even believe an adult with children of her own would allow her parents to pay for a wedding to a man that she can't even live with for 10+ years. The whole thing is insane actually.
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| Posted 7/13/18 12:41 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by StaceyWill
No. I would give the same as I would at any wedding.
This!
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| Posted 7/13/18 1:01 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
My FIL insists every party is a fundraiser. Which annoys me because I love to throw parties and celebrate (anything/everything) and he loves to insinuate it's because we're "gift-grabby".
The funny part is, I spend way more on any party then I've ever received. I don't think I've ever made money on a party. Literally every single party, even DS's christening was at an expensive restaurant and DS would have had more $ in his bank account if we had just skipped the party and gave him the money. That doesn't stop me from wanting to celebrate things. It's not about the $ for us and I really hope that anyone that thinks it is, doesn't attend any of our celebrations. So I usually  when someone says a party is just a "fundraiser".
That being said, this sounds like a fundraiser 
I would be embarrassed if I was the Bride. The whole scenario sounds ridiculous.
ETA: I would still give a monetary gift. I would give less though. If it was a first wedding for one of them, I would give the normal amount. This specific scenario, I would def give less.
Message edited 7/13/2018 2:25:53 PM.
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| Posted 7/13/18 2:24 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by luvbuffet
I got married twice. Some people attended both weddings. We received money as a gift. People gave more the second time around. Not sure if it’s because everyone is older now or they like my current dh more lol
Ditto!!! 
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| Posted 7/13/18 3:06 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I give same or what I can afford. I only do sentimental gifts for destination weddings.
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| Posted 7/13/18 3:51 PM |
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BUMP- we all still don't know what do it and it's 10 days away Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
BUMP - we all still don't know what to give and it's a 10 days away, lol
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| Posted 10/17/18 12:57 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by Straightarrow
BUMP - we all still don't know what to give and it's a 10 days away, lol
Something sentimental or from the registry.
If they make it 10 years and actually end up moving in together I'd give them a really nice housewarming gift.
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| Posted 10/17/18 1:01 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Just give what you would normally give for a wedding. What they do after shouldn't have anything to do with it
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| Posted 10/17/18 1:25 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Just give what you would normally give for a wedding. What they do after shouldn't have anything to do with it
Yup - give what you'd give for any other wedding. Don't assume its a fundraiser, don't assume you shouldn't celebrate this wedding the same way you would any other!
Just be happy that they're happy, don't overthink it 
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| Posted 10/17/18 2:16 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Did you ever hear of not giving a gift for a second wedding?
I'd give a gift off the registry
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| Posted 10/17/18 2:32 PM |
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