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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I might be in the minority but I don't think you have to entertain him. He was there to watch his kids. Most dads at our pool get into the water, throw or pull their kids around. I don't see too many chit chatting by the side (more of a mom thing). I do get the bathing suit uncomfortable aspect. I would recommend not inviting a child to the pool unless you arrange to meet them there. I always just say we will be there at x time if _______ wants to meet up or play with my child. Everyone goes in different directions. Plus usually it is rare that you get to sit to have a conversation. If you didn't want to chat you could get in the water and just be busy playing with the kids.
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Posted 7/8/14 7:53 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
On the fence. Not so weirded out that he chose to come and bring his son. Kind of weirded out if he knew he would need to use your pass to get in.
How was it? Was it weird?
Message edited 7/8/2014 9:56:18 AM.
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| Posted 7/8/14 9:49 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I see where you're coming from. I'd be uncomfortable too. I would rather that he just said no his DD cant come than have him and the son come along....specifically bc you dont know him. It's awkward.
Message edited 7/8/2014 10:40:21 AM.
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| Posted 7/8/14 10:36 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I can see where you are coming from and maybe his wording wasn't great, but I see his side of it too. I trust my babysitters 100% with my DS. They can take him in the car and bring him most places and I am OK with it. I do not ask them to bring him to the pool. There are very few people I am comfortable with bringing DS to the pool and I don't want them having that responsibility. Being around the water is different from other activities and I get really nervous with my DS.
It's possible that the little girl was excited about going and he didn't want to disappoint her, so he figured he would come along to supervise, but couldn't leave his other kid home alone. In the future, I would run it by the parent before inviting her along.
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| Posted 7/8/14 11:32 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I find it odd. If he didn't want his child to go to the pool he could've just picked her up. Not invited himself along since he isn't really a close friend.
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| Posted 7/8/14 12:48 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I would be uncomfortable with that too. He could have just said no if he didn't want his child going.
Maybe he felt bad and didn't want his son to miss out on going to the pool too?
Even after reading all the replies, I still think it was rude for him to just invite himself. He could have asked if you mind if they tag along, or if he didn't want his daughter going without him... he could have said exactly that.
I find it strange but I guess it's a lesson learned and now you know not to invite the DD in the future.
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| Posted 7/8/14 1:22 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I get what people are saying about being uncomfortable about letting their DC go to a pool with another family -- that said, I would have just declined the playdate if I were the parent whose kid got asked, not invite myself.
And the passes thing would annoy the shit out of me.
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| Posted 7/8/14 1:29 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I find it odd.
I hate play dates with dads.
I hate being around someone's husband while wife is at work.
I invite kids to pool all the time with us...if a dad said he was coming I think I would back out. Sometimes I am hoping some moms don't show up as well.
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| Posted 7/8/14 3:59 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
I would be uncomfortable with that too. He could have just said no if he didn't want his child going.
Maybe he felt bad and didn't want his son to miss out on going to the pool too?
Even after reading all the replies, I still think it was rude for him to just invite himself. He could have asked if you mind if they tag along, or if he didn't want his daughter going without him... he could have said exactly that.
I find it strange but I guess it's a lesson learned and now you know not to invite the DD in the future.
I am not sure anyone was saying he should invite himself. I know I personally wouldn't but I think people were saying why they thought he might want to go. I think most moms would say I would like to go and supervise or no I am uncomfortable I would want to be there....or whatever but letting the mom know that you were declining but giving the parent a choice to go ahead or back out. Also keep in mind that I think men tend to approach things in different ways than women do. So it might come out differently than we would expect from a mom. Kwim?
As far as the pass. I guess I am in the minority. In my town you can choose to join the pool...but members can bring guests for a charge. Many people bring guests. I see it as an issue if he invited himself and his kid and then expected her to pay. I think I asked if the father paid for his family or expected her to. If he expected her to....then yes I see that as very rude bc those charges chan really add up. Most people I know who go as guests pay got themselves.
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| Posted 7/8/14 4:15 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
just because a few have asked how it went....... I backed out because I was not comfortable going.
I will probably not invite this particular child in the future
I went today and brought another child and we all had a great time!
my 17yr old came also with a friend so we have many eyes on the little ones and we all go in the pool
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| Posted 7/8/14 8:04 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
moot issue
Message edited 7/9/2014 12:28:47 PM.
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| Posted 7/9/14 12:23 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I would be annoyed that he was being presumptous that he was invited too - especially because he didn't have a pass to the pool.
I get if he wants to supervise his daughter, then he should ASK if it's ok if he comes along & bring his son. Otherwise, he should thank you for inviting his daughter & decline.
It has less to do with his being a guy & my husband & his wife working. I'm perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation with a male.
Message edited 7/9/2014 2:24:35 PM.
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| Posted 7/9/14 2:23 PM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
I backed out of a play date with a dad.
I asked a bunch of moms, who are kind of friends. A few couldn't make it and one was gonna send her husband instead. I have zero to talk to this guy about and didn't want to feel obligated to make small talk. So I back out.
I don't blame you. He could have said no. Instead he tried to piggyback off your pass, whether he meant to or not.
Lesson learned. When it comes to pools, always assume the parents will want to be around. I know I always go with my kids to pool play dates.
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| Posted 7/9/14 9:36 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by MamaNDaddyof3
I just meant I don't know him so it would be like what am I going to talk to him about
Aren't you ever just NOT in the mood to have to talk and chat with another adult and just be with the kids?
Maybe I'm coming off wrong, I am not angry with the dad nor am I insinuating he was hitting on me. I just didn't want to spend the whole time at the pool worrying about having something to talk about
I totally get you! Having to stand there in my bathing suit making small talk with a dad I barely know is just not my thing.
ok thank you!!
I felt like I was coming off like some crazy person!
and honestly an above poster said you could run into any Dad at the pool so they don't see what the big deal is.......my answer to that is I would say hi and that's all
I am not really one of those social talking to all the moms and dads etc
if I have the kids I am really with the kids
I hear you. I'd feel the same way.
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| Posted 7/10/14 12:08 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Actually, the fact that the kids have been to your house without him before shows that this guy is probably not going to just latch on and cling to you all the time.
Personally I don't like the fact that male-female acquaintances and friendships get thrown out the window when you're married or have kids. I make a lot of small talk with dads & I include everyone, yet some women feel that I shouldn't. I know where to draw the line and I'm just being nice to everyone.
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| Posted 7/11/14 7:25 PM |
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
If I'm at work I send my husband on playdates at the pool or other public places. Noone is obligated to chitchat with him.
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| Posted 8/20/14 8:29 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
No. I'm sure he just wanted to keep an eye on his DD.
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| Posted 8/21/14 10:47 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
Why is it weird?
You're taking your kids and he's taking his kids to play -
You can't have a conversation w/ your neighbor while the kids are playing in the pool?
OOOOH - OK, well there's a differece between I'm not in the mood to deal w/ you all day and I can't talk to you b/c your wife isn't there 
If you're just not in the mood, then yeah, I get ya !
Message edited 8/21/2014 3:08:43 PM.
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| Posted 8/21/14 3:07 PM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
This topic is over a month old. LOL
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| Posted 8/21/14 3:08 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Do you find this weird/uncomfortable ?
after your added details, i'm right with you!
i completely understand wanting to supervise the child at a pool, but just inviting himself and another child is a little odd.
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| Posted 8/21/14 3:43 PM |
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