Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I am trying hard not to have Josh watch TV. The goal is 2 years old. I am not saying that is going to happen, just a goal I have set from what I have read.

So, my aunt sends me her son's baby einstein dvds that he doesn't watch anymore. I send a thank you.

she calls me to see if he is addicted to them yet..honestly, I haven't even opened them yet..but I say yes, we are enjoying them. She was trying to do something nice to me, but I don't want to sound preachy to her, so I lied.

does this ever happen to you?

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

No, but Im curious how come you dont want Josh to watch tv till hes 2?

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

just what I have read up on..apparent links to attention disorders, and just trying to get into an early mindset of playing instead of tv watching. It might change in a month or even tomorrow, but for right now, that's the goal.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I see. I have DD watching TV like wonder pets, blues clues for colors and movement. I have baby einstein but havent put it on yet. when Im cleaning I put her in front of the tv to keep her entertained and motivate motor skills. she talks to the tv, watches intently and falls asleep to it too. when she is at the age to walk run and play we will be doing that, I cant wait for that so we can go out together, I love being out.

but dont feel bad about lieing about not watching the videos b/c you might get lectured - you know how family is. when its right for you and Josh then have him watch it, I will say its fun to watch their amazement at the tv!!!

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Nah, I never lie about it. You shouldn't feel the need to either. I would have thanked her and just told her that you appreciate everything and will be holding on to it until he's ready to watch TV. You don't need to explain yourself.

ETA: Although I am a fan of baby einstein and I do let my children watch those videos.

Message edited 3/21/2007 5:52:11 PM.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I like the idea of keeping my child from watching TV, but I think its going to be impossible in my house - I feel like the TV is always on - how do you do this with DH and with other people in the house (if you have the TV on for some reason if people come over? )

I know I'm deviating from your post, but would love your input on this!!!

ETA - I don't think I could lie about my parenting style - I know we are going to do some things that arent in the mainstream, and there is no way we could lie about it - like our child being vegetarian, or practicing some Buddhism in its life...

Message edited 3/21/2007 5:54:56 PM.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Its definetly nose in the backround, I just don't give him a visual. I play a lot of the cable music channels and cds. When DH is home the TV is definitely on. ususally I am on the couch with josh playing with him while he's in the boppy. DH and I are TV heads. While I feed him the tv is on, but he isn't facing that direction. I also notice he naps longer if TV is off, so I hold him and read a book while he naps.

I have found that is the only time now to squeeze in reading

Message edited 3/21/2007 5:58:57 PM.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

or another on..people always ask how long I will BF for. Truth is, I have no idea, but I would love to do it till he's 2. I gave that answer a few times and received crazy stares and how its all wrong if he can ask for it. I now lie and say till 1..I am not going to argue something that I don't know what I am going to wind up doing.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

thanks! I guess I just feel like every mom does her best, so I don't want to sound preachy to anyone.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Posted by joenick

Posted by girlygrl33

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I like the idea of keeping my child from watching TV, but I think its going to be impossible in my house - I feel like the TV is always on - how do you do this with DH and with other people in the house (if you have the TV on for some reason if people come over? )

I know I'm deviating from your post, but would love your input on this!!!

I thought too no tv but you know its really not possible, I watch the news or my young and the restless and DD is with me.
----------------------------------------------------------

Yay!!! Another Y&R watcher!!!! Twobabies and I are obsessed!!

Sorry for the hijack!!

And to answer the OP's question...no, I don't lie. I just say what works for me and my kids. If it's different from somebody else's views, oh well. All kids (and mommies) are different.

Y& R OMG I have been watching since Im 17!!! He is sooooooo Jills son!!!!!

sorry Janice didnt mean to hijack

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Posted by girlygrl33


sorry Janice didnt mean to hijack

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Janice - I totally agree with your parenting and not allowing him to watch TV. I actually think I am going tobe the other way around though. I allow her to watch some Einstein DVD's to stimulate her now, but I don't plan on using it as a "babysitting tool". Once she is a bit older, she won't be watching TV at all. I would like to see her rely on her motor skills to play with toys and use her imagination.
We were never allowed to watch TV much as kids and I hope to instill the same prinicples.

p.s. Yeah, I would be saying the same thing you are about the videos. I mean, she's not looking to come over and watch the videos with Josh, so eh - she'll never know the difference!

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I'm with you on that 100% - Alex is only allowed a half hour of TV a day. She only watches einstein videos, and when parents talk about all the other shows their kids watch, I'm virtually clueless because Alex has never watched that stuff.

I wouldn't lie - you should be proud of your convictions in how you are raising your child.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Please don't lie about how you choose to parent because you are the only one who knows what works for your family. I've gotten much better at letting people know that I do the best I can in my situation and that they need to respect that. It's not easy to do, but it will get easier as you become more comfortable with your ideals. And not for nothing, you seem very realistic, Janice, not preachy. You have goals, which is wonderful! So what if they're not the same as someone else's goals? That's their problem if they don't like it

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Posted by prncssrachel

Please don't lie about how you choose to parent because you are the only one who knows what works for your family. I've gotten much better at letting people know that I do the best I can in my situation and that they need to respect that. It's not easy to do, but it will get easier as you become more comfortable with your ideals. And not for nothing, you seem very realistic, Janice, not preachy. You have goals, which is wonderful! So what if they're not the same as someone else's goals? That's their problem if they don't like it

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I don't [generally] lie, though I can understand you not wanting to hurt your aunts feelings.

I have friends who think I'm crazy for making E's food (meanwhile its SO easy) . Some think I was nuts to BF for so long (or at all!), others believe I didn't BF long enough - you can't please everyone, and I don't try to.

Ella doesn't watch TV. I have Baby Einstein videos but the only time they're on is when friends are over with their kids and ask me to put them on. I know she'll watch plenty of TV eventually, but for now (at 9 months), I'd rather she play & interact (and she's excellent at entertaining herself with her toys) and not need the constant outside stimulation of a TV.

Message edited 3/21/2007 8:20:17 PM.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I never lie about things I do or dont do to other moms. WE should all be proud of what we do as moms and we try our best. None of us has perfect answers, but we do have the best intentions, so why feel we have to change any story around.

we're entitled to our opinions and ways of doing things, and we should all support eachother and hope we wont be judged by other moms.

BUT I did lie to my MIL this past winter and told her the boys DID have the flu shot (and they didnt) because
you wanna hear preachy?????

so it just muffled the preaching and Ive found that yessing her to death works better than involving her in every decision i make! whether its if the kids have a hat on today, to whether I gave the baby rice or oatmeal, did one drink out of the other's sippy cup and ON and on (and for someone who DOESNT practice what she preaches, it makes it even MORE annoying
worried about brothers sharing a sippy cup but kisses them on the mouth right as Im watcing when she knows it IRKS me to no end and drives me insane.
yes I make a BIG stink of "ON THE CHEEK GRANDMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" right on the spot!

SO i guess the lying depends on the situation.
i have nothing to hide as far as my parenting, but I like to keep my sanity as much as I Can

sorry to ramble. In your case, I dont think youre being preachy at all, and I see why you did that. I would have also, just to make her feel that her gift was appreciated

Message edited 3/21/2007 8:21:21 PM.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

thanks, all. I guess I should see it more as "sharing" info.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I would lie too, no need to hurt her feeling in that situation.

I did not let my son watch tv until 18 months. I did not watch any tv in front of him either. Funny, he is now a tv addict at 3 and begs for his limited tv time. I'm pregnant with #2 and I know there is just no way I can prevent tv watching like I did with my son. Oh well. I think its a great plan, but if it doesn't work out no biggie.

Good luck.

Message edited 3/22/2007 3:34:16 AM.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

I agree with everyone who says that you should feel comfortable making your own decisions. Only YOU know what is best for your own child. DS didn't watch ANY t.v. until after he was 2. It was very difficult, but we didn't keep the t.v. on at all when he was in the room. He is 5 now, and watches less than an hour a day (usually much less). For the record, though, he has SEVERE ADHD. DD, my second, watches some tv when he has it on, but we try to keep her in another room, or engaged in reading or playing while DS is watching. Still, she definitely is much more familiar with the shows and characters than he ever was.

I might let your aunt know that Josh doesn't watch them if they are going to spend time together. What will you do if she comes over and wants to watch a video with him?

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Nothing new to add in my post, just voicing what we do.... with DS, we tried to not have the TV on too much, but we're hooked, so that didn't last long... Now, he's almost 4, and DD is almost 1, and he watches TV with us. He has to "earn" TV points by doing different activities. He's also learned to share, because "No, we can't watch Backyardigans AGAIN... it's Daddy's turn." I'm also amazed with his memory retention, story building, word recognition, etc, all from TV. We have a DVR that has an on-screen menu of the shows we recorded. He is learning to read because of that... he knows all his favorite shows, and most of mine and DWs. We also watch his shows with him, so it's never a "babysitter" for him. We get him to interact with the TV, and it becomes a family activity.

I wouldn't lie about your parenting style. If you ask 10 people how they do "X", you'll get 11 different answers, so there's nothing wrong with anything you're doing. On the other hand, there are some people that it's just too much effort telling them the truth, and defending your position, so I understand the need to "adjust" the truth.

Re: Do you lie to other moms if your parenting is different?

Posted by girlygrl33

Posted by joenick

Posted by girlygrl33

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I like the idea of keeping my child from watching TV, but I think its going to be impossible in my house - I feel like the TV is always on - how do you do this with DH and with other people in the house (if you have the TV on for some reason if people come over? )

I know I'm deviating from your post, but would love your input on this!!!

I thought too no tv but you know its really not possible, I watch the news or my young and the restless and DD is with me.
----------------------------------------------------------

Yay!!! Another Y&R watcher!!!! Twobabies and I are obsessed!!

Sorry for the hijack!!

And to answer the OP's question...no, I don't lie. I just say what works for me and my kids. If it's different from somebody else's views, oh well. All kids (and mommies) are different.

Y& R OMG I have been watching since Im 17!!! He is sooooooo Jills son!!!!!

sorry Janice didnt mean to hijack

Hahaha...you have FM!!