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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I came across a few high strung Mommies today and it got me thinking I could never see myself really being friends with them. With the exceptions of a couple, most of my mommy friends have pretty laidback personalities when it comes to dealing with their kids.
Do you share the same style with majority of your mommy friends?
Message edited 6/12/2011 5:08:32 PM.
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Posted 6/12/11 5:07 PM  |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
no!  not at all.
just hung out at the pool with a mom friend of about 4 years. We are tight, boys love each other, going to hilton head next month-just us and kids.
She is a Baby Wise NAZI! Her kids are the WORST eaters. She doesn't believe in hitting them.
My babies never cry and are rocked to sleep till 2ish...mine are forced to be incredible eaters, I def am quick with my hand at times.
Almost 99% of my mom friends start their kids in preschool at 2. Josh is 4.5 and I am dreading sending him to prek this year.
I have to see my kids at all times when we are out. Most of them are okay scanning the room every 5 minutes to make sure their kids are still around.
I have NO schedule for my kids, at all. My friends are all about naps.
They all drop their kids at a gym, I could never. I am the shmuck running the streets with a double jogger every AM
Oh yeah...finding out that some girls I hang with often are dr laura groupies!! that is sooooooooooooooooooooo not me.
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| Posted 6/12/11 5:36 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Posted by Janice
no! not at all.
just hung out at the pool with a mom friend of about 4 years. We are tight, boys love each other, going to hilton head next month-just us and kids.
She is a Baby Wise NAZI! Her kids are the WORST eaters. She doesn't believe in hitting them.
My babies never cry and are rocked to sleep till 2ish...mine are forced to be incredible eaters, I def am quick with my hand at times.
Almost 99% of my mom friends start their kids in preschool at 2. Josh is 4.5 and I am dreading sending him to prek this year.
I have to see my kids at all times when we are out. Most of them are okay scanning the room every 5 minutes to make sure their kids are still around.
I have NO schedule for my kids, at all. My friends are all about naps.
They all drop their kids at a gym, I could never. I am the shmuck running the streets with a double jogger every AM
Oh yeah...finding out that some girls I hang with often are dr laura groupies!! that is sooooooooooooooooooooo not me.
I parent pretty much the same as Janice. My DS never cries (I don't believe in CIO or letting him cry pretty much ever as an infant but I believe because of that he's not a crier) , he's forced to be a good eater, I'm out with the jogger because I would never leave him wity gym babysitters, I don't plan on sending him to nursery/preschool until he's 3.5. I am on the complete other end of the spectrum as all my mommy friends  It can be tough feeling like the odd one out sometimes and having to defend my parenting methods, but I don't feel friendships should have anything to do with parenting methods. As long as everyone "lives and lets live" different parenting styles shouldn't be an issue!
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| Posted 6/12/11 5:57 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I find that 4 year old chemistry outweighs everything.
If there is a kid he gets along with and plays with for hours without issue...I don't care if his mother is a cannibal.
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| Posted 6/12/11 6:21 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Some yes, some no. I like having the balance actually - it helps give me perspective on things. I am closer with the ones that are more similar to my own parenting style though!
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| Posted 6/12/11 6:51 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Some yes, some no. Unless it effects the friendship I see no problem. I just don't ask those friends for parenting advice because I know I wouldn't do what they suggest.
It did become an issue with one friend because she was very high strung and it became an issue because she didn't care who she inconvenienced to make sure she stuck to her schedule. She was just rude in general so its no surprise her friends are always writing her off.
I'm fine with people doing things as they see fit as long as it doesn't effect me or my child in a negative way.
C I'm not so sure about your non-crier theory. I think it is just his personality. I let my kids cry when I have to and did a modified CIO and R and C were and are 2 of the happiest kids you will ever meet. We just have awesome kids in our group 
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| Posted 6/12/11 7:11 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Posted by Janice
I find that 4 year old chemistry outweighs everything.
If there is a kid he gets along with and plays with for hours without issue...I don't care if his mother is a cannibal.
you ladies are better than me, I cringe at just listening to some of the moms talk to their DC or DH.
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| Posted 6/12/11 7:32 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Posted by Janice
I find that 4 year old chemistry outweighs everything.
If there is a kid he gets along with and plays with for hours without issue...I don't care if his mother is a cannibal.
you ladies are better than me, I cringe at just listening to some of the moms talk to their DC or DH.
Honestly a lot of it is how my DD gets along with the child more so than how I do. As long as the mother is nice and I can have a conversation with them - I care less about some of the other things - but honestly I take things case by case.
Just out of curiosity though - what do you mean by high strung - and how they talk to their children? Do you mean that they are watching them closely vs sitting back and letting them play, etc?
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| Posted 6/12/11 7:38 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Not all of them.
I've found that
(1) some moms are not someone I'd choose to be friends with but our kids get along.
(2) some moms I adore, agree on many things but the kids don't get along with mine or my kids don't like theirs.
Then once is awhile you hit the jackpot with a mom you are in sync with & a kid that gets along well with yours.
But I don't let my likes/dislikes impact who my children are friends with unless I think the kid is a problem or the parent is neglectful.
Message edited 6/12/2011 8:05:06 PM.
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| Posted 6/12/11 8:04 PM |
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OOSMommy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 860 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Posted by Lillykat
Just out of curiosity though - what do you mean by high strung - and how they talk to their children? Do you mean that they are watching them closely vs sitting back and letting them play, etc?
This was my question. For example, my DD is 2.5 and a major daredevil. I can't sit on a bench at the playground and get involved in a conversation because she will be up climbing the highest, scariest thing in 5 seconds. I have to be somewhat nearby. I also try very hard to build our days around her schedule because she is not one who does well without sleep. You might think I'm high strung.
On the other hand, I let her independently climb and explore things and try not to discourage her unless it's someting blatantly age-inappropriate. I also don't skip important events for naptime and I have put her to bed late because we were out. So I really don't think I'm all that bad.
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| Posted 6/12/11 8:20 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Yes, my close friends and I do actually all parent very similar and I can rely on any of them for advice.
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| Posted 6/12/11 8:26 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
my best friend and i are pretty similar. DHs friends and relatives are completely the opposite. every time we see them i get looks whenever they see me deal with DS or hear about what we do or allow him.
must be why most of my playdates are with my best friend's son and not theirs!
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| Posted 6/12/11 9:02 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Posted by Lillykat
Just out of curiosity though - what do you mean by high strung - and how they talk to their children? Do you mean that they are watching them closely vs sitting back and letting them play, etc?
Hi strung meaning my DC bumps into her DC and its a big scene (mind you neither child bats an eye) going to the beach and not letting her 2 year old out of the stroller or off the towel for 2 hours. Over all tense and stressed out way of being. No one can close a car door or beep a horn near her house if DC is sleeping or she blows a gasket. She doesn't make her child share (not an example of high strung, just her over all way)I have nothing against people that parent that way, but it exhausted me to do play dates so I chose not to anymore. I don't let my children just go in a park or anywhere else for that matter. I'm right there with them for their safety and that of others, but I don't feel the need to be on top of my kids in my home or yard or that of my friends with kids. With some friends we can sit and chat with 6 1yr olds playing around us, we let them work things out if they can, but are close enough to step in when we need to. This is more about what I need in a friend with kids than it is about her parenting style. I don't care how she parents, I don't care how anyone parents (aside from abuse of course) but I just didn't get any pleasure out of being with her and DC and I felt it wasn't all that enjoyable for DS either.
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| Posted 6/12/11 9:06 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Posted by OOSMommy
Posted by Lillykat
Just out of curiosity though - what do you mean by high strung - and how they talk to their children? Do you mean that they are watching them closely vs sitting back and letting them play, etc?
This was my question. For example, my DD is 2.5 and a major daredevil. I can't sit on a bench at the playground and get involved in a conversation because she will be up climbing the highest, scariest thing in 5 seconds. I have to be somewhat nearby. I also try very hard to build our days around her schedule because she is not one who does well without sleep. You might think I'm high strung.
On the other hand, I let her independently climb and explore things and try not to discourage her unless it's someting blatantly age-inappropriate. I also don't skip important events for naptime and I have put her to bed late because we were out. So I really don't think I'm all that bad.
Not at all, actually I am the same exact way. I plan around my DD's schedule (to an extent). I don't think its fair to disrupt my childs needs ALL the time, but sometimes make exceptions. I never go to a play ground expecting to finish a conversation, lol.
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| Posted 6/12/11 9:13 PM |
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labonnevie
sometimes 1+1= 4 <3
Member since 8/09 3869 total posts
Name:
the lucky one
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
i would say 90% yes. maybe even higher! i have been blessed to have found amazing friends who parent pretty much the same way as i do. i think it's important for a friendship too, because i think two completely different parenting styles will end up causing issues.
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| Posted 6/12/11 9:19 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I'd say it's a pretty good mix.
I have some mommy friends that are the CIO, Time-Out, Let's go out and about with the kids type (which IS me)..Oohh and routine! I'm ALL about routine (with weekends being an exception) M-F I **HAVE** to have routine for my DCs! Our schedules are pretty busy!
and others that don't believe in CIO, Time-Out, and just like to hang out at home (which there is nothing wrong with, but, I just like to get out when I can).
We all get along and so do the children and that's what matters.
"Different Strokes, for Different Folks" is a good quote for this question.
Whatever works! 
Message edited 6/12/2011 9:25:17 PM.
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| Posted 6/12/11 9:24 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I think for the most part my friends and I have similar parenting styles that vary topic to topic.
I tend to be very laid back with my DS and do tend to get along better with parents with similar attitudes.
My BFF is high strung about her DS with naps and almost never goes out, I can't live like that, but it works for her and her family.
Different styles or not, I have certain mommy friends that I respect their choices more then others.
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| Posted 6/12/11 9:40 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I guess I meant really personality of mom more, think Kate Gosslein scolding her husband in public for every little thing a kid is going to do or the mommy who talks to her 5 yr old like they're 25 explaining every little detail about a situation in depth, or the mom who is scolding their child in the middle of a b-day party because all of her friends wanted to eat a potato chip before the pizza so she did too. Yes, this was my experience all in the span of about 2.5 hours with 3 different moms.
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| Posted 6/13/11 7:46 AM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I don't have a lot of mommy friends... but I think I have a similar style of parenting. Obviously it's not exactly the same, but we respect each other's differences and leave it at that.
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| Posted 6/13/11 8:41 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I think the thing that attracts me to my group of girlfriends is that we all have the same parenting style, laid back, but firm when needed. One thing I love is that when we have playdates or go to playgroups, the kids are everyones responsibility, and we all are happy with that. We all watch out for each others kids, and no one is upset if someone else scolds one of their kids if they are doing something wrong. The kids also get along brilliantly, even though they all have different personalities.
I do have one friend who I feel is incredibly hard on her daughter, and frankly is mean to her. I don't hang out with her too much because of that, and when she is mean to her daughter I always tell her she is making me uncomfortable, along with her girl as well. It makes me sad because her daughter is a totally amazing little girl.
Our parenting styles do differ as one of us is a single mother, one is a babywearer, there is one with a son who has ASD...so we all do differ in those ways, but for the most part, we all like being together because we parent similarly.
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| Posted 6/13/11 8:43 AM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
I am the mom who explains things to ds like he's 25 I don't do it because I think its the best thing to do, but I do it because it makes him calmer, I notice he will stop and listen when I do, it just woks for us. I'm a stict on naps, cause they work for us too.
I assume most moms love their babies and are just doing what works best for them, all babies are different, as all mommies are, a good mommy will cater her parenting to values she wants to promote, lifestyle, household, but to the specific characteristics of her lo.
My close friends are not moms, I find moms that share my parenting style are very isoated and protective of thie LOs, and tend to be very judgemental, even of me. I just hang with the guardian of whoever ds chooses to play with at the playground, whether its mommy/ nanny/ daddy/grandma/grandpa
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| Posted 6/13/11 8:44 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
No. I run a tight ship, and have little time or patience for BS. Im not the get on their level and talk mom. That didnt fly in our house growing up. It doesnt fly in mine now. I expect certain things and dont budge on it to much. We have rules, and they need to be followed. i believe in a smack in the asss, if you are being a brat. Im not the friend mom. Im the bad cop.
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| Posted 6/13/11 9:02 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
haha, no.
my friend with a baby is SOO uptight. All about schedules, naps, how things HAVE to be. Quite honestly, she looks exhausted from it. She's a germaphobe.
I'm very laid back.
My daugher was touching my friend's shoes, she screamed holy hell, freaked that they were dirty. I dont think she will develop some deadly disease from a little dirt.
Our mutual friend says it's like night & day hanging out with us and our kids. 
You can still be friends I think, just dont offer/ accept advice. If you enjoy their company & the children get along that is a GREAT thing.
Message edited 6/13/2011 9:20:23 AM.
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| Posted 6/13/11 9:15 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
For the most part... I don't think any of my friends do things very differently than I do, but to be honest I doubt I would even notice.
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| Posted 6/13/11 9:17 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Do you share the same parenting style with your Mommy friends?
Posted by MrsBumbleb
I guess I meant really personality of mom more, think Kate Gosslein scolding her husband in public for every little thing a kid is going to do or the mommy who talks to her 5 yr old like they're 25 explaining every little detail about a situation in depth, or the mom who is scolding their child in the middle of a b-day party because all of her friends wanted to eat a potato chip before the pizza so she did too. Yes, this was my experience all in the span of about 2.5 hours with 3 different moms.
Why the eye roll? I sincerely don't get that. You might not agree with it, but it doesn't make it wrong. There are some great, great mommies on here who parent the way you are describing and I would hate for them to feel that you were rolling your eyes at them 
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| Posted 6/13/11 9:19 AM |
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