Do you think about dying?

I've been thinking a lot about the cycle of life. As we go through our lives, everyone around us goes through the stages of life simultaneously. We get married, we all have kids, those kids graduate and go to college. That is where I am at. But lately, so many people I know my age are passing and it really has me shaken up. Some of these people are health nuts, vegetarian, regular gym users. It's like there's no rhyme or reason to it, they just get sick and pass. I'm trying not to dwell on it, but I have some autoimmune diseases and while I'm overall healthy, it's hard not to. I guess I just have to be thankful for each passing day.

Do you think about dying?

Sorry to be morbid, I realized this is kind of depressing. lol.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I think it's normal to think about it and get sad/depressed about it at times. Everyone thinks about their own mortality here and there- especially as you get older, or are faced with deaths of family and/or friends.

But the thing is, you can't dwell on it. You need to let it go and just life. Because if you start dwelling on it and worrying about it too much, it stops you from living.

I read a quote once and it really resonated with me.

"Worrying never stopped anyone from dying. But it does stop you from living"

That stuck with me.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I do, but I try not to dwell on it.
I turn 53 tomorrow, so I think about my life in the past and what I have learned in order to live my life in the future.
I can't help but think that my mom died young at 72, will that happen to me too ?
We are currently dealing with parent #4 with cancer (my dad), and it is taking a toll on us. My dad wants me to make all the decisions for him, to be his support. Of course I will always be there for him, but it gets me thinking, who will be there for us when we need help since we don't have children.
It's scary.

But, back to the dying part. I was with my mom and my FIL when they died. It was quite peaceful. Breathing slowed until it was just that one last breath.
Mom was home and in my arms when we told her she could go and be at peace.
FIL was in the hospital surrounded by family, and he too slipped away when we told him he should be with his wife.
MIL died just before we got to the hospital. Her face was amazing, the pain was gone from it.

I don't think that the dying part has me scared, it's not knowing what happens afterward.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I always have just because it is part of life...getting affairs in order, last wishes, etc., but recently I suffered several heart attacks which could have killed me. I'm only 43 years old and very healthy and active (NO heart issues besides this random tear). They all started actually on my birthday, hiking with my son on top of a mountain, all alone. Reality hit that it doesn't really matter how much you take care of yourself, your time is limited.

In just this short period of time I went from knowing it was something that could happen to it could happen at any time...any moment. BUT...with that said, I find I'm better off NOT over thinking it...because the stress and fear alone would make it come sooner.

The actual dying thought... I feel there is life after death, I know not all do. I will be greeted by my family, mom, dad, brother, grandma...etc. But my fear of dying is I have a son. I'm a single mom, we are very close. I fear leaving him alone more than "what is on the other side".

Do you think about dying?

I guess my fear is not actually the dying itself, its that I'm not ready and I want to see my kids get married and have their own kids and be a grandma. It's the suddenness of it all. My kids are much closer to me than my husband and I worry how they would fare. My college age daughter and I are so super close, she calls me like 10 times a day. She already suffers from crippling anxiety I can't imagine how that would affect her. But again, I'm dwelling and I shouldn't be.

I lost a close friend to pancreatic cancer a few years ago and it all went so fast. 3 months from diagnosis to death. It seems to have started there, and now I'm obsessing a bit. The afterward part I am not afraid of, even though I'm not really sure what I believe happens.

Lorich - I'm sorry that happened to you. What a scary thing to go through.

Do you think about dying?

No, I don't really think about dying. But, I worry about having an accident or something where I'm in a wheelchair or otherwise disabled. To me that's worse because then you're dependent on others for practically everything. I figure at least when I'm dead, yes, everyone will grieve and be upset, but they can go on with their lives without me. But, if I'm paralyzed, then I certainly won't be living how I am living now, and their lives are completely changed forever too.

Do you think about dying?

I do. And not only myself dying, but my mom or DH. I try to snap myself out of it because I can go to a pretty dark place, but I think it's normal.
We are dealing with the death of our pet right now, and it sucks. Death is an asshole, but we have no choice in the matter.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I really try not to think about it. I don't think of myself dying really yet, but my God it feels like it's all around me right now. I hate the idea of my DD experiencing loss in her near future and dread having to explain it to her. My grandmother is 96 and has worsening dementia with a newfound tendency to wander, my father has stage 4 esophageal cancer... even our family dog is on her last legs.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I love life, so the thought of it disappearing scares and depresses me. I do have a strong belief in an afterlife, so I hope I am correct.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I never used to think about death much when I was younger and before kids but now that I am 44 and I have children I feel like it always weighs on my mind. I always worry that something will happen to my DH and then what? We've been together since we're 16, I only really know a life WITH him, not without. I worry about my kids, what is something (God forbid) tragic happens to them. I worry about myself, I don't want to miss a minute with my DH and kids.

You're right, it is so scary and it's hard not to think about as you go through the different stages of life and get older. I see people I know having heart attacks in their 40's and dying or others just in their 60's and it's over. That is crazy to me because in my head, I have so much time left. But you just never know and when you're surrounded by people you love, the thought of not being with them anymore is scary and sad.

All of this being said, it's not ruining my life or my ability to enjoy life but it is always in the back of my head. I just want so many more years myself and with the people that I love the most.

Re: Do you think about dying?

God, this thread is killing me....

Re: Do you think about dying?

when my son was little, i used to worry about it a lot. i was a single mother and i was so scared to leave him alone in the world.

now that he's an adult, i worry about that a little less because i know he has "adulting" skills.

recently, i wrote up all my plans and wishes... will, living trust, medical directive. with that in writing, i feel a little better and at ease about it all... especially, since i've spoken to my son about it.

Re: Do you think about dying?

Posted by NervousNell

God, this thread is killing me....

Re: Do you think about dying?

Posted by busymomonli

Posted by NervousNell

God, this thread is killing me....

I'm sorry! I really just wanted to know if it was normal for this stage of life (I am turning 50 at my next birthday). I can see, at least, that everyone thinks about it sometimes and I feel better that its not just me. So, thanks everyone for that. But, I'm sorry too, for those who worry and for those they've lost.

Message edited 10/21/2019 4:25:19 PM.

Do you think about dying?

its Hard , I think at times it would be a relief
No more problems after I die
Problems are for the living
But have 2 kids both very young and one who is dependent on parents
For everything
so it does not win me anything,
I just think what will will

Recently was almost hit by an idiot who did not look at blind spots
It was terrible

I told my husband I could have died
And to not keep on fighting with me for every single thing

Sometimes I feel I would welcome it But I want it to be painless
Sometimes I don’t feel that way ..

Sorry just feeling a bit off today
But in general I try to look at the positive things

So to answer yes I do
But I am a strong believer in fate
What will will

Message edited 10/21/2019 5:13:19 PM.

Re: Do you think about dying?

Yes. Probably more than I should.

Not only me dying but my loved ones dying.

Re: Do you think about dying?

OH pretty much everyday. Most days I try to shove the thoughts out of my head otherwise, if I REALLY start thinking about it, I bring myself to a dark place and can really start to panic. Not so much the death part but what's to come. I believe in heaven and I really hope I'm right.

I also get myself super worked up thinking about what happens when my mom goes. I mean she's hopefully not going anywhere any time soon but I don't know how I will survive without her. My DH too. Anyone really that I care about.

So, to answer your question, yes I think it's our age and stage of life!

Do you think about dying?

I should probably think about it more since I'm a single mom. I really need to get my stuff in order in case I die. Thankfully, his dad and I still get along well, but I need to make sure I have someone I trust to sell all my stuff for my son (he's only 10).

Do you think about dying?

Yes, I have been dealing with health anxiety for a year now. It started last year when I was rushed to the ER because I was having a panic attack from the pain of a burst ovarian cyst. The anxiety that happened in that moment lingered in my body for almost a month. I was literally walking on air and in a fog the entire time. I was mentally and physically not feeling well. I was seeing drs left and right for all sorts of pains in my body that I was convinced was cancer. It was torturous.

I finally started seeing a therapist in April and just recently started anti -anxiety meds. I just couldn't go on like that anymore.

I have 2 small kids and I worry about dying and leaving them. They are very close to me and I think about how DH would never be able to do everything I do for them or comfort them the way I do. I worry about not being there when they are hurt or sad or just need their mom.

A lot of this has to do with the fact that I lost my dad when I was 10. He was 45. I am close to that age now. So I just think if it happened to him it could happen to me.

I also think the fact that so many people are diagnosed with cancer around us is the other fear factor. I feel like I can't go a week without hearing someone mention that so so has cancer. Its sickening because I am not 100% convinced that it is not our government trying to poison us for population control. That is whole other topic, so I will stop here.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I used to obsess over it a lot. Especially during my panic attack days. I get myself all worked up thinking about certain diagnoses and how I would react to them. Would I fall apart or rise to the occasion and fight it? I run through the different scenarios and then get myself tense and angry.

I’ve stopped doing that. For me, it was thinking to myself whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen. Thinking about it, preparing for it .. that won’t change the inevitable. So I just try to be as healthy as I can be but indulge whenever I want to (usually weekends) so that I can enjoy this life and however many day’s I have left. I think it may be different for me because I don’t have kids that I’d be afraid to leave behind. So maybe that makes the thought of my inevitable death “easier”. It would just be DH who I know would be lost just as I would be lost without him.

My newest death obsession About when my dogs will die. Especially my little one who is my life. He is going to be 14 years old, started meds for an enlarged heart this year and he has tough days sometimes. I think about that day. The day where it’s been too many tough days in a row. Holding him and telling him everything I need to in order to say goodbye properly. I even get nervous when washing his blankets because I’m always afraid that’ll be the day he goes and I won’t even have his blanket that smells like him. DH tells me I have to knock it off. Holding the dog in tears because I’ve thought about it again. To enjoy him, etc.

You’re not alone. We all have these thoughts. Sometimes more than we should.

Re: Do you think about dying?

I honestly need to go take some CBD after reading this thread.
It's heightening my anxiety.

Re: Do you think about dying?

Re: Do you think about dying?

I do a lot.

I think about it as I get it older.

I will tell you this... I lost my mom last year who I was super close with. and it literally broke my heart when she passed.

I never thought death would be this hard.

And my husband is a funeral director...

Re: Do you think about dying?