| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
|
|
Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
I don't mind being called my first name by DS' friends (as long as their parents don't mind).
I had a conversation at work and some feel that is just really a breakdown in boundaries and respect. It makes no difference to me. Some call me Mrs. _______ and some call me my first name.
What are your thoughts?
|
Posted 11/16/15 7:24 AM  |
| |
|
busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
|
Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
All my kids friends have always called me by my first name. It really doesn't make a difference to me and the Mrs.______ makes me feel really old.
|
| Posted 11/16/15 8:34 AM |
| |
|
mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
I don't like kids calling me by my first name without a Ms. in front of it, but it does happen very often and I would never correct them. My kids call authoritive figures by Mr/Mrs/Ms last names, and friends parents/neighbors Ms/Mr first name. I do think it's a sign of respect, and I'm always very surprised that I rarely hear kids today address adults properly.
|
| Posted 11/16/15 9:18 AM |
| |
|
Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by mommy2B3
I don't like kids calling me by my first name without a Ms. in front of it, but it does happen very often and I would never correct them. My kids call authoritive figures by Mr/Mrs/Ms last names, and friends parents/neighbors Ms/Mr first name. I do think it's a sign of respect, and I'm always very surprised that I rarely hear kids today address adults properly.
Same. We teach DS to say Ms.... or Mr..... I haven't heard kids call me by my first name - it's usually "Johnny's Mommy."
However, I think that teaching kids to refer to adults as "sir" or "ma'am" is outdated and stuffy.
|
| Posted 11/16/15 9:43 AM |
| |
|
JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
We go by first names
|
| Posted 11/16/15 9:47 AM |
| |
|
MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
I don't mind the kids calling me by my first name, IF I tell them to (which I do)
I teach my kids to call adults Mr. or Mrs. unless specifically told otherwise.
But my boys are still little so their friends still refer to me as "X's Mom" which makes me crazy !!
|
| Posted 11/16/15 9:50 AM |
| |
|
ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by MarisaK
I don't mind the kids calling me by my first name, IF I tell them to (which I do)
I teach my kids to call adults Mr. or Mrs. unless specifically told otherwise.
But my boys are still little so their friends still refer to me as "X's Mom" which makes me crazy !!
This.
My good friend's two kids call me by my first name but, otherwise I'm x's mommy.
My kids call all parents x's mommy or x's daddy (including my cousins - I guess they feel weird calling them by their first name).
|
| Posted 11/16/15 10:07 AM |
| |
|
Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
first names. ive called my mom's friends by their first names my whole life. any of my friends kids that are close...call me Aunt Diana.
|
| Posted 11/16/15 12:35 PM |
| |
|
KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
I get called by a bunch of different names by DD's friends - First Name, Mrs. Last Name, Miss First Name. It does not matter to me and I actually introduce myself to new friends with my first name and then they choose what they prefer to call me.
|
| Posted 11/16/15 1:18 PM |
| |
|
MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
My kids are taught never to call any adult by just their first name. I agree about the boundaries and respect.
|
| Posted 11/19/15 5:24 PM |
| |
|
MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
All by first name. I'm a teacher so I'm used to Mrs. ___ but I've known these kids since DS was born. I am friends with their moms as well so that is what they hear. He's entering K next year so I'm sure some of his newer friends will call me Mrs. _____
Message edited 11/20/2015 6:31:32 AM.
|
| Posted 11/19/15 7:11 PM |
| |
|
my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
First name. I don't think it is disrespectful at all. It's how they talk to me, treat me, their actions around me- where respect comes in. I was raised very casually and all my friends called my parents by their first names and I expect my kids' friends to do the same. I am not formal at all and it would feel really weird to be called Mrs XYZ.
|
| Posted 11/19/15 9:49 PM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
I think calling me "Mrs......." is WAY too formal. I don't like it. My friends children call me by my first name. All of my friends are the same. Nobody goes by their last names. I don't find anything disrespectful about it if that is what someone is requesting you call them.
|
| Posted 11/20/15 9:03 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
We go by first names
BUT I don't have the same last name as DS anymore.
We actually have 4 last names for 4 people in our house
|
| Posted 11/20/15 10:54 AM |
| |
|
summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by Hofstra26
I think calling me "Mrs......." is WAY too formal. I don't like it. My friends children call me by my first name. All of my friends are the same. Nobody goes by their last names. I don't find anything disrespectful about it if that is what someone is requesting you call them.
Same. I cringe when someone calls me Mrs..., even by my kids teachers.
|
| Posted 11/20/15 12:49 PM |
| |
|
PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by my3bugs
First name. I don't think it is disrespectful at all. It's how they talk to me, treat me, their actions around me- where respect comes in.
I fully agree. I really dislike being called Mrs. but I have a friend who insists her kids call me that. I respect her reasons, but I also feel she should respect my desire not to be called that.
|
| Posted 11/20/15 4:19 PM |
| |
|
limomof2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 845 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
First name
|
| Posted 11/21/15 11:44 AM |
| |
|
Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
|
Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
I am not a stickler for tradition or formalities but this one I have a huge issue with-- There is no reason IMO for my childs friend , or my friends child to call me by my first name. It happens often and I don't correct it but really it makes me cringe. I do see it as a sign of disrespect and a breakdown of boundaries. I was raised never to call an adult by their first name so as I child (and even to this day ) I never called my parents friends, or my friends parents by just their first name. My children call, close family friends Aunt ________ and for more casual acquaintances, Ms. first name. When my DD calls an adult by their first name I always 'correct' her and tell her she needs to call them Aunt ___ or Ms. ____ . DD is only 3.5 so "Jennifer's mommy' is ok for now too =)
Message edited 11/23/2015 11:40:05 AM.
|
| Posted 11/23/15 11:36 AM |
| |
|
busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by Budjeg11
I am not a stickler for tradition or formalities but this one I have a huge issue with-- There is no reason IMO for my childs friend , or my friends child to call me by my first name. It happens often and I don't correct it but really it makes me cringe. I do see it as a sign of disrespect and a breakdown of boundaries. I was raised never to call an adult by their first name so as I child (and even to this day ) I never called my parents friends, or my friends parents by just their first name. My children call, close family friends Aunt ________ and for more casual acquaintances, Ms. first name. When my DD calls an adult by their first name I always 'correct' her and tell her she needs to call them Aunt ___ or Ms. ____ . DD is only 3.5 so "Jennifer's mommy' is ok for now too =)
I have quite the opposite opinion. I want my kids friends to feel completely comfortable around me. So comfortable that they feel they can come to me if something is wrong in their life or they need an ear. Using first names with them promotes this. Some of them feel more at ease talking to me than their own parents (which is a whole other topic). But by using first names, it promotes a casual tone. Now that they are teens, I need to know these kids can trust me. And they do.
|
| Posted 11/24/15 8:24 AM |
| |
|
PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by busymomonli
Posted by Budjeg11
I am not a stickler for tradition or formalities but this one I have a huge issue with-- There is no reason IMO for my childs friend , or my friends child to call me by my first name. It happens often and I don't correct it but really it makes me cringe. I do see it as a sign of disrespect and a breakdown of boundaries. I was raised never to call an adult by their first name so as I child (and even to this day ) I never called my parents friends, or my friends parents by just their first name. My children call, close family friends Aunt ________ and for more casual acquaintances, Ms. first name. When my DD calls an adult by their first name I always 'correct' her and tell her she needs to call them Aunt ___ or Ms. ____ . DD is only 3.5 so "Jennifer's mommy' is ok for now too =)
I have quite the opposite opinion. I want my kids friends to feel completely comfortable around me. So comfortable that they feel they can come to me if something is wrong in their life or they need an ear. Using first names with them promotes this. Some of them feel more at ease talking to me than their own parents (which is a whole other topic). But by using first names, it promotes a casual tone. Now that they are teens, I need to know these kids can trust me. And they do.
I completely agree with you.
|
| Posted 11/24/15 4:29 PM |
| |
|
PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by Budjeg11
I am not a stickler for tradition or formalities but this one I have a huge issue with-- There is no reason IMO for my childs friend , or my friends child to call me by my first name. It happens often and I don't correct it but really it makes me cringe. I do see it as a sign of disrespect and a breakdown of boundaries. I was raised never to call an adult by their first name so as I child (and even to this day ) I never called my parents friends, or my friends parents by just their first name. My children call, close family friends Aunt ________ and for more casual acquaintances, Ms. first name. When my DD calls an adult by their first name I always 'correct' her and tell her she needs to call them Aunt ___ or Ms. ____ . DD is only 3.5 so "Jennifer's mommy' is ok for now too =)
Just out of curiosity, if we were friends, and I told you I preferred to be addressed by my first name only, would you allow your children to do that?
|
| Posted 11/24/15 4:30 PM |
| |
|
Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by PatsBrat
Posted by Budjeg11
I am not a stickler for tradition or formalities but this one I have a huge issue with-- There is no reason IMO for my childs friend , or my friends child to call me by my first name. It happens often and I don't correct it but really it makes me cringe. I do see it as a sign of disrespect and a breakdown of boundaries. I was raised never to call an adult by their first name so as I child (and even to this day ) I never called my parents friends, or my friends parents by just their first name. My children call, close family friends Aunt ________ and for more casual acquaintances, Ms. first name. When my DD calls an adult by their first name I always 'correct' her and tell her she needs to call them Aunt ___ or Ms. ____ . DD is only 3.5 so "Jennifer's mommy' is ok for now too =)
Just out of curiosity, if we were friends, and I told you I preferred to be addressed by my first name only, would you allow your children to do that?
Well just to be clear, with my friends kids, my kids do not call them Mr. or Mrs. I find that too formal. I use Ms. for things like the mail lady or the older neighbor down the block that we don't know very well. So in your scenario- really I would prefer that they called you Aunt so and so though rather than just your first name, unless you were strongly opposed to it in which case I would respect your wishes.
Its just something I was raised with and have a hard time letting go of. Growing up in my culture there is a generic word for adults that is not formalistic like Mrs. but is a general word used for elders most akin to "Aunt" in English..and that is what we used to address older people it was not at all formal nut just a sign of respect.
ETA: Just wanted to add that I didn't at all feel like I wasn't close to my friends parents because I referred to them as AUnt ___ rather than just their first names. Some of my very close friends parents I would refer to as mom and pop--even. As an adult- when it comes to those same parents I still refer to them in the same way.. but for example friends of my poarents who they have met later on in life (not from when I was a child) I willc all them by there first name. I think its just a cultural thing for me.
Message edited 11/24/2015 5:48:06 PM.
|
| Posted 11/24/15 5:44 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
First name always for almost the last 18 years.
Times are over when kids called parents Mr. and Mrs. It just is not what they do anymore and most people don't call me Mrs. X anyway so I usually have NO clue who they are talking to when they call me that lol.
|
| Posted 11/24/15 5:51 PM |
| |
|
Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Message edited 11/24/2015 8:48:41 PM.
|
| Posted 11/24/15 6:20 PM |
| |
|
PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
|
Re: Do your DC's friends call you by your first or last name?
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by PatsBrat
Posted by Budjeg11
I am not a stickler for tradition or formalities but this one I have a huge issue with-- There is no reason IMO for my childs friend , or my friends child to call me by my first name. It happens often and I don't correct it but really it makes me cringe. I do see it as a sign of disrespect and a breakdown of boundaries. I was raised never to call an adult by their first name so as I child (and even to this day ) I never called my parents friends, or my friends parents by just their first name. My children call, close family friends Aunt ________ and for more casual acquaintances, Ms. first name. When my DD calls an adult by their first name I always 'correct' her and tell her she needs to call them Aunt ___ or Ms. ____ . DD is only 3.5 so "Jennifer's mommy' is ok for now too =)
Just out of curiosity, if we were friends, and I told you I preferred to be addressed by my first name only, would you allow your children to do that?
Well just to be clear, with my friends kids, my kids do not call them Mr. or Mrs. I find that too formal. I use Ms. for things like the mail lady or the older neighbor down the block that we don't know very well. So in your scenario- really I would prefer that they called you Aunt so and so though rather than just your first name, unless you were strongly opposed to it in which case I would respect your wishes.
Its just something I was raised with and have a hard time letting go of. Growing up in my culture there is a generic word for adults that is not formalistic like Mrs. but is a general word used for elders most akin to "Aunt" in English..and that is what we used to address older people it was not at all formal nut just a sign of respect.
ETA: Just wanted to add that I didn't at all feel like I wasn't close to my friends parents because I referred to them as AUnt ___ rather than just their first names. Some of my very close friends parents I would refer to as mom and pop--even. As an adult- when it comes to those same parents I still refer to them in the same way.. but for example friends of my poarents who they have met later on in life (not from when I was a child) I willc all them by there first name. I think its just a cultural thing for me.
Thanks for replying. 
|
| Posted 11/25/15 7:48 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
