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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
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Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I don't want this thread to turn into a bashing of attachment parenting. If you don't believe in any of it... please just let this be a thread for those who do.
I'm just wondering if anyone else believes in any of these theories/ideas... maybe we can support one another?
I find that when I go by my heart, I tend to lean toward some attachment parenting ideals - which is the complete opposite of what I would have said before and even WHILE pregnant!
What parts do you believe/follow? How is it working out for you?
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Posted 4/20/10 10:50 AM  |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Hayley,,not sure what the theories are. I may believe in some theories while i don't in others. KWIM?
I don't cosleep but I do hold him until he is alseep before I put him in his crib. KWIM
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| Posted 4/20/10 10:54 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I do feel like my motherly instincts tend to be more attachment parenting. When DS is agitated or upset, I pick him up immediately, we cosleep when he is teething or in need of calming down, I never let him cry or CIO without tending to him, we have gone out without him maybe 3 times since he was born...
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| Posted 4/20/10 10:54 AM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
We do attachment parenting 100%. I EBF, co-sleep, wear by babies, gentle discipline, no CIO, no circ, etc.
It feels so natural and normal to me. I try to follow my instincts as much as possible.
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| Posted 4/20/10 10:56 AM |
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I do. I do lots of skin to skin still with DD. I would love to know more. I do not want to do CIO.
ETA-I also EBF. I want to wear her, but I am iffy about that with my back.
Message edited 4/20/2010 11:05:33 AM.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:03 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
gentle discipline
can you explain what this means? I think this may work better for miki
how do you discipline??
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:05 AM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
We do attachment parenting 100%. I EBF, co-sleep, wear by babies, gentle discipline, no CIO, no circ, etc.
It feels so natural and normal to me. I try to follow my instincts as much as possible.
I would definitely love to hear more from you! 
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:07 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I've never heard of this....what is it?
I'll google in the meantime.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:16 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by Ophelia
I've never heard of this....what is it?
I'll google in the meantime.
basically what kidsaplenty mentioned
co-sleeping
baby wearing
breast feeding
no cio
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:20 AM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I've done most. I did not breastfeed - although I tried in the hospital.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:21 AM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
can I just ask.....what is attachment parenting? Ive heard it used before, but really dont know.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:21 AM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by eddiesmommy
can I just ask.....what is attachment parenting? Ive heard it used before, but really dont know.
JUST about to ask this.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:22 AM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by Ophelia
I've never heard of this....what is it?
I'll google in the meantime.
Ditto. From the responses it seems I do some and not others. But I just parent the way I want to and do what feels right for us. I don't really follow anyone elses theories. I go with my gut and care for and mother my kids with my heart. And if anyone (like my SIL) disagrees with what I do they can suck it!  cause I probably disagree with what they do, but I say to each his own. (Sorry, I hate my SIL today and her judgements todays)
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:24 AM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
These are the "7 Baby B's" from Dr. Sears - with my summary of what they each mean.
1. Birth bonding: Bonding between mother and baby after birth and in first few weeks.
2. Breastfeeding: Self-explanatory!
3. Babywearing: Carrying/wearing your child.
4. Bedding close to baby: Co-sleeping or sleeping within arm's reach of your baby
5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry: Believing that a baby's cry is meaningful and needs a response
6. Beware of baby trainers: Beware of extreme parenting styles that put baby on a rigid, inflexible schedule
7. Balance: Being able to balance your needs, baby's needs, and your needs as parents
Other AP information... from the website (copy/paste)
* AP is a starter style. There may be medical or family circumstances why you are unable to practice all of these baby B's. Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have – that's all your child will ever expect of you. These baby B's help parents and baby get off to the right start. Use these as starter tips to work out your own parenting style – one that fits the individual needs of your child and your family. Attachment parenting helps you develop your own personal parenting style.
* AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.
* AP is responsive parenting. By becoming sensitive to the cues of your infant, you learn to read your baby's level of need. Because baby trusts that his needs will be met and his language listened to, the infant trusts in his ability to give cues. As a result, baby becomes a better cue-giver, parents become better cue-readers, and the whole parent-child communication network becomes easier.
* AP is a tool. Tools are things you use to complete a job. The better the tools, the easier and the better you can do the job. Notice we use the term "tools" rather than "steps." With tools you can pick and choose which of those fit your personal parent-child relationship. Steps imply that you have to use all the steps to get the job done. Think of attachment parenting as connecting tools, interactions with your infant that help you and your child get connected. Once connected, the whole parent-child relationship (discipline, healthcare, and plain old having fun with your child) becomes more natural and enjoyable. Consider AP a discipline tool. The better you know your child, the more your child trusts you, and the more effective your discipline will be. You will find it easier to discipline your child and your child will be easier to discipline.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:26 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I do a modified attachment parenting. I allow cosleeping, baby wearing, bfing, no CIO and "passive" discipline.
Message edited 4/20/2010 11:27:38 AM.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:27 AM |
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KangaMom
...
Member since 1/06 4593 total posts
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
We do attachment parenting 100%. I EBF, co-sleep, wear by babies, gentle discipline, no CIO, no circ, etc.
It feels so natural and normal to me. I try to follow my instincts as much as possible.
This is us as well
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:28 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by Ophelia
I've never heard of this....what is it?
I'll google in the meantime.
basically what kidsaplenty mentioned
co-sleeping
baby wearing
breast feeding
no cio
yeah, I was just reading a little.
I guess I am, unwittingly. I don't read parenting books...I just go with how I feel.
i was trying to explain this to dh a while back.
I want Luce and we, his parents, to be a "team" or a "pack". I want him to have all of the security in the world...in his parents presence and love....
my son is the happiest happiest boy EVER. I just cannot believe the joy that pours forth from his little body. I'd like to think it's because of the environment he has thus far been subjected to.
I breast feed. we co sleep/his crib is in our room. I prefer to wear him when we go out. I feed him/rock him to sleep. he is in the care of my MIL during the day.
I haven't had the need to discipline him (he's only 6 months) but I am not afraid of the word NO. it will be used along with positive reinforcement.
and although as I sit I don't *think* I'll have an issue with a little swat to the hand/bum as needed (something NOT advocated by the API if I am reading correctly) maybe when the time comes, I won't do that either.
I told my husband that I think it's so funny that one day I was flamed for thinking about leaving my dog to sleep outside of our home (a SLED dog, mind you) but I get equally if NOT MORE SO flamed (and not only on here) but I don't let my kid sleep AWAY from his pack. his family.
I think it's odd that people won't co sleep with their children, but let their dog sleep at the foot of their bed. (NOT talking about people on here but people I KNOW)
anyway, this is how I feel. interesting that there is a "name" for my style. I was just calling it "old school" 
you'll get mountains of support from me Luv
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:28 AM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by Kidsaplenty
gentle discipline
can you explain what this means? I think this may work better for miki
how do you discipline??
Well, we do time outs, which works for some of the kids. I never hit, and I try REALLY hard not to raise my voice with them. I let reality be the teacher.
I give the girls allowances. So part of them earning allowance is cleaning their rooms, clearing up their plates after dinner, etc. So say one week they don't keep their room clean and I have to clean it-I deduct my "work" from their allowance. If one DD is cleaning and the other isn't, I pay her from her sister's allowance. That strategy works really well for us.
I read the book Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman...changed my disciplining world. I use a lot of the startegies mentioned in this book and it make my life 1000x easier.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:31 AM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I do subscribe to some of the concepts: I coslept with DD until I felt she was ready to be in her crib alone (about 6-7 months, transferred without issue), BF (although did have to supplement 1 bottle day), wore her when she tolerated it (at about 5 months she decided she preferred her stroller to being worn), waited until she was 15 months to CIO (and this was an absolute last resort for us, although it did work)
I mostly just followed my instincts.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:32 AM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
This is basically me too.
I just go with how I feel and what I feel comfortable with... and in doing some reading I realized that I lean more toward this "style" of parenting.
I guess I like to read about others who feel the same way because I think there's a lot of pressure to just CIO.... and I know at least right now, Loey ALWAYS has a reason for crying.. so I don't see any need to just let him cry when that's his only way of communicating with us.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:36 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I do some attachment parenting. I sleep with Evan in my room, but do not co-sleep, I wear him, I BF.... I do however believe in CIO if necessary, and have no problem going out without Evan. I feel I need the time to be on my own.
I am not to the discipline part yet, but I believe you have to work with your child's personality. What works for one does not work with others.
I parent from the heart. I don't believe any child fits into a certain mold. If I followed by the book of any parenting style I would drive myself nuts. My DH and I are a team, and make decisions together on how to raise our family. It works for us.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:42 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
total attachment parenting.. not by choice but by instinct.
all the things you listed are things that i've done without subscribing to a style.
i bf, mady slept in a bassinet up to 5/6 months, i wore her in a bjorn when we went outside for walks...
pretty much everything you listed.
i did eventually introduce a modified CiIO but only when i thought she was ready and old enough and only because she left us no choice but to do CIO. ( she got into a habit of waking up everytime we put her in her crib and this would be done 3/4 times in a row)i would be up late getting her back to sleep.
i transitioned her slowly and she no longer wakes up when i put her down to sleep.
i still bf her to sleep though! i have no idea how i will put her to sleep when i stop bfing!!
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:43 AM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by katiebug
I parent from the heart. I don't believe any child fits into a certain mold. If I followed by the book of any parenting style I would drive myself nuts. My DH and I are a team, and make decisions together on how to raise our family. It works for us.
This X 1000
Perfectly said.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:45 AM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
Posted by katiebug
I parent from the heart. I don't believe any child fits into a certain mold. If I followed by the book of any parenting style I would drive myself nuts. My DH and I are a team, and make decisions together on how to raise our family. It works for us.
Agreed.
I did read books but DH & I did what worked best for all of us.
I guess I do some without even knowing it was called something but then there are others I didn't.
*he slept in his bassinet for the first 3 months of his life, next to my bed
BUT
I did not BF
*feeding schedules did work for us BUT I allowed him to make them and once I saw a pattern we stuck with it
* I did wear him BUT going back to work makes that a little limited plus he's gettin heavy now
* I do allow him to still sleep on me in the mornings if I know he's still tired. It's actually my favorite time of day.
so on, & so on....
I would say each of us all do some form of attachment parenting...i think it's the Mommy instinct! Some do more, some do less ALL do what is best.
(wow, that rhymed  )
Message edited 4/20/2010 11:51:21 AM.
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:50 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Does anyone suscribe to any of the "attachment parenting" theories/beliefs? If so, come on in!
I've followed the attachment parenting ideology since reading "Baby Watching"when Robbie was still in utero! The reason is because it just seemed 'right' for ME and for US.
We have tried to carry it beyond infancy - with some success (we no longer do family bed - but we still have family cuddle time). We encourage empathy and do bonding exercises.
I don't know - I think it's on of those things.. you look at the principles and if they resonate with you, you go for it. I have no illusions that this way of life works for everyone and have no challenge with people who do things differently. I also have come across people who have found my methods odd or strange - and that's okay. It isn't for everyone!
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| Posted 4/20/10 11:56 AM |
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