Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

I started bringing Brinkley into the office about a year and a half ago. It was my boss' idea, all my coworkers are great with it, and I spoke to the building maintenance guy about it who asked me to only take him up the freight elevator. Never in the lobby. There is a pet supply company on the 2nd floor and they are also dog friendly so there are always dogs in and out of the building.

Everything was going great. I got permission to bring Ginger in too, and they behave themselves very well on the 2 days a week I bring them in. I walk them, pick up after them, and usually get stopped by people in the building or strangers who want to pet them or talk about their dogs.

A few weeks ago, I was returning with them from a walk and was about 30 feet from the door when I see a woman walk towards the glass door, then turn and run away. When I got inside, her friend that I know said - are you going up the stairs or elevator? I said, doesn't matter, I'll take the elevator. When I went over, I saw the woman hiding in the stairwell.

About a week later, the building maintenance guy mentions that someone complained about the dogs. I said, what could they have to complain about? Really, they have done nothing wrong, I'm not glazing over anything. He said the complaint was about their presence, not anything that they did. I figured it was the same woman and I got the idea that the complainant didn't know I already had permission to bring them in. Instead of working on a compromise, she complained in the hopes that I would not be allowed to bring them in any longer.

The impact of not being allowed to bring them in would be large for myself and my coworkers. So I took the high road and wrote a professional note to the building guy with all the ideas about how I could compromise to ensure this person doesn't have any interactions with us. Only using certain routes, walking them at specific times. I can't control her reaction upon just seeing my dogs, and don't think it's reasonable to expect that her eyes be shielded from them.

Today, we were coming into the office and I came around a corner and saw her in the main elevator. Again, we were about 30 feet away. I kept walking but Brinkley stopped, wagged his tail and woofed at her twice. He loves the elevator area because when we happen to be there when people get off, he knows there's a good chance someone is going to react to him and he'll get to meet them. His bark was not aggressive, he's a naturally submissive dog. I know a stranger isn't going to know this, I'm just mentioning.

Wouldn't you know, someone she works with who knows me came to visit and told me that when I see her, I have to turn around and walk the other way. I told him that I am more than willing to work on a compromise but that she won't talk to me. I said, I'd be willing to take a specific staircase so she doesn't encounter them but how can I control the occasional time that she has to lay eyes on them? She told him "That dog is NOT friendly." SERIOUSLY? Anyone who has met Brinkley knows that just is completely untrue. I'm preparing him to be a therapy dog for Christ's sake. Of course, the one time Brinkley barks at anyone in the building, and it's her. Who knows, maybe he could sense the animosity at 30 feet.

The first time, I was afraid of what might happen by her complaining. Now, I'm kind of p*ssed. I don't expect everyone to love my dogs, not by any means. I can understand fear of dogs, for whatever reason, and have been bitten myself and fearful. But to go around to other people and complain secretly, or have others tell me what to do because you don't even want to look at dogs?

Like I said in my thread title, I really don't know how to feel about this. I think I'm trying to be more than accommodating but my pleas for compromise are being ignored. Or maybe I should look at her command to walk the other way as her version of compromise. I suppose someone who is living in that state of mind is not going to be rational but I can't do anything about that. I'm so afraid that this great thing we get to experience is going to be ruined by one person, because they just can't deal.

Any thoughts, insight or suggestions would be appreciated. I'm not just looking for people to agree with me - if there are ways I can understand this better, I'm all ears. I'm afraid of making a wrong move by approaching her (without the dogs obviously) because it's pretty clear she prefers to do things behind the scenes. I'm worried that it will just set her off and make things worse. I do have the phone number of the guy who came in here on her behalf today, but he seemed put off that he was being forced to do it in the first place.

I realize this is super long so thanks for reading this far. I appreciate it.

[updated at bottom! progress!!]

Message edited 6/17/2010 10:19:01 AM.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this...

It is a difficult situation. I would recommend maybe a meeting be set up with you and the woman that is afraid. I also respect that not everyone wants to be around dogs. Maybe if there was a meeting then you can discuss that if you ever see her you will promise to walk the other way until she is out of sight, or just wait for her to disappear in the elevator until you continue on. You could also discuss your path through the building as well as hers so that the paths will never cross. People like that are difficult to compromise with because I believe their fear is irrational and whatever you say won't matter. You could tell her that Brinkley would never hurt her but in her mind, you are wrong. Good luck...

Re: Don't know how to feel about this...

If she won't talk to you, I don't know how you resolve this.

If she would be willing to talk to you (on a day that the dogs are not with you), then I think it is perfectly reasonable to tell her which staircases or elevators you will use exclusively, for her benefit, and what times of day you will be going into and out of the building (barring any special circumstances). Then that if/when you do see her, you will stop and let her go first and then go with the dogs.

If she won't talk to you, then she is the one who is perpetuating the problem. Does she complain to people who walk their dogs on the street that she lives on? What if this were an apartment complex and not an office? It is impossible to completely and totally avoid dogs everywhere you go. In this instance she has the chance to talk to someone about her fear and make a plan that will hopefully make her the most comfortable, which is more than she will get if she goes to a park on a sunny day...

I should add of course that clearly I am a dog lover and I bring my dog to work so I am going to be biased on this topic.

And although I have never met Brinkley or Ginger in real life, I find it hard to believe that either one of them could be classified as "not nice!"

Re: Don't know how to feel about this...

i've been attacked by dogs as well. it was 2 years ago but i still get anxiety around big dogs, and as someone who has always been a dog person this kills me. i would bet that she has had an incident as well. i think talking to her directly is a good idea. if her anxiety is from a previous incident, sharing your story would probably help her. and maybe some baby steps towards interacting with your dogs might help too

Re: Don't know how to feel about this...

Message edited 6/17/2010 10:06:41 AM.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this...

Wow, that sounds like she is irrationally afraid of dogs. It’s one thing to have fear, but 30 feet away when the dog is on a leash seems extreme to me. If she won’t speak to you, can you write to her like you did the building manager? I would actually be a bit annoyed too, again, it’s one thing to be afraid but she seems like she’s being unreasonable. You are willing to work something out with her and she’s unwilling to hear you, so how can you help her not have to see them if she won’t help you talk it out??

Re: Don't know how to feel about this...

WHEEEE! PROGRESS!!

I finally got through to the guy who came in this morning (I had 2 phone numbers, they were both busy) and asked him if he could ask her to stop in tomorrow to talk, come to a compromise. That from now on I could take the staircase by my office only, if she doesn't use it.

He said hold on...

And then I hear him talking to her, asking her. She sits right next to him.

He says to her, "Hey Lisa, you know Trish, the one with the killer dogs? The ones that want to kill you? She wants to know if you use the back staircase." I almost died.

She agreed that was acceptable, and I thanked him up and down for acting as our go-between. Now at least I can be sure that we have an agreement and hopefully this will settle the situation.

Thank you so much for reading my diatribe and replying!! Gosh I am so relieved.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

I am SO glad that you were able to work it out. Brinkley is one of the LEAST aggressive dogs I have ever seen. He is a big mush ball! That woman obviously has some screws loose. Glad you get to keep your "killer" dogs with you at work.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

Message edited 9/17/2013 2:14:10 PM.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

I can semi-understand where she is coming from. I got Maggie, a bigger dog, because I only had small dogs growing up and I did have a little fear of big dogs. I knew I would become more comfortable if I had a big dog myself. My SIL is deathly afraid of Maggie, even though everytime she walks in Maggie rolls on her back. We gate her off to kee the peace, but my SIL jumps everytime she barks.... I'm happy a compromise was worked out!

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

I am so glad it worked out and that you can continue to bring your killer dogs to work!

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

Brinkley is VERY scary...when he is running really fast playing and not paying attention to the people in his way! I have met Brinkley in real life and he is a sweetheart. I know this person has an irrational fear but I felt the need to speak on Brinkley's behalf anyway!

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

Brinkley is a killer dog? Oh ok, I guess he did lick me to death the first time I met him. Please that dog is so loveable it's not even funny. Labs in general are just so good with everyone. I'm glad you could work something out with her.

But since you said that there is a Dog Shop of some sort in the building as well, aren't there other dogs in the building anyways sometimes. I do understand her fear & I'm sure it's probably a really bad experience she had in her past. It's hard to get over that. I hope it all works out for your guys. Tell Brinkley & Ginger I said Hi.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

It's hard to get over an irrational fear of animals.

She probably realy felt she was in danger.

I am glad you too were able to compromise so she feels safe and you have your dog with you at work.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

You guys are so funny. The killer dogs are sleeping on my feet as I type.

Yup, there are other dogs in the building. We're the only office on our floor that allows dogs though, so the only time I come in contact with the other dogs is if we happen to be walking them at the same time.

Thanks again for your responses

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

I'm so glad that everything worked out. Now can I get a job in your building?? I would do anything to bring my dog to work and work in a building where there were dogs allowed.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

I want to bring Lola .. So glad Trish this didnt become a big deal.. My prediction down the road is that she ends up getting to kow the killer dogs and then grows to love them nd you will be laughing about this forever !!!

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

Can i react this way when i see people & their kids coming my way? I'd like to request all children be banned from my presence ...glad to hear you're making progress!

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

I dont know.....see I thought your dogs were so cute and huggable but now my eyes are opened and I see them for the true killers they are!

Good for you getting it worked out and it's awesome that you're training Brinkley to be a therapy dog, I want to do that with my dog too, he's a little free spirited though

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

Yay! Glad it is going to work out for you and those FEROCIOUS dogs!
I can tell by those pictuers they are fierce killers! Are you training them as guard dogs??

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

You guys are so funny! Brinkley has a thing for bare toes and he was sniffing one of the girl's feet yesterday... I said, watch out, he's planning his attack...

I used to put a picture on the door to our office that told people we were dog-friendly so they weren't surprised when they came in. I think I'm going to put this picture on the door:






He was in mid-bark, that's why he looks so scary.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

Posted by greenfreak

You guys are so funny! Brinkley has a thing for bare toes and he was sniffing one of the girl's feet yesterday... I said, watch out, he's planning his attack...

I used to put a picture on the door to our office that told people we were dog-friendly so they weren't surprised when they came in. I think I'm going to put this picture on the door:

IMAGE




He was in mid-bark, that's why he looks so scary.

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

that picture is too cute! I have a pic of my cat in the middle of a meow and she looks fierce lol

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

im so glad to hear a compromise was made!! i too have met Brinkley & he is much like hershey! hershey will wag his tail and bark if he gets excited to see people in hopes that they come over and pet him... he too us VERY submissive so i know what you mean about that

Re: Don't know how to feel about this... [updated at bottom]

Message edited 11/27/2011 5:31:05 PM.