dont know what to do could use some advice

so this is going to be a long post just a warning!! any advice would be really great! im at a loss right now.

So when i went for my 20 week follow up with the OB they quickly discussed my results from the quad screen and sorta swayed me one direction... i was just told that the numbers had increased and that was realy it.. i didnt think to ask more ?'s.. bad i know... so anyway i made sure to asktoday wheni went back

turns out.. at 12 weeks the sono looks normal/perfect... the blood as well odds were 1:1339 then at almost 21 weeks for the quad screen they went from that to 1:139... thats a drastic change in my opinion and in the other drs. specially given im only 23.

she suggested the possibility of having an amnio done. Now i know the risks and would really like tonot have one but i hate not knowing. I would only want to know to be much more prepared for whats in store. and a bit of peace of mind. She also suggested the possibility of going and having a genetic sono but said normally its done around 16 weeks and now given im 25 weeks they may not be able to do it anymore but if it would help ease my mind i could go for a consult with high risk.

i really dont know what to do.. and when i discuss it with DH hes really not a help and just says "whatever you want to do" thinks the amnio is stupid.

PLEASE HELP... What would you do????? has this happened to anyone else(im sure it has) what helpped you make your decision?

To make matters worse ive been having tons of cramping since 16 weeks. and lately its become alot stronger and much more frequent. i notice it mainly while im at work. and on my feet for 12-16 hours. So now they are sending me for a cervical sono and a specail fetal sono to tell about preterm labor some specail sono that the doc. has to do.

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

I would get the amnio done, but this is my first PG so I don't have any prior experience with this...I would also go w/the consult of high risk


I hope everything works out

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

So sorry you are going through this. It's a tough situation to really advise on. All I could really say is what I would personally do and it may help you towards figuring out your decision.

I'm not an amnio person. I did not do an ultra screen at 12 weeks. I knew I would not terminate at that stage so what would knowing about any issues do at that time? Sure you can "be prepared" but be prepared for what? And I just have a few personally attached stories of couples who have prepared for the worst, having a tortuous pregnancy, only to give birth to a perfectly healthy baby and grown child and went through so much for nothing. So it just was not worth it to me. Should God forbid I have an infant with needs, I'll be taught and learn what I need to know from the minute they are born. Whatever it would be, the baby would be cared for (as would we be taught) in NICU and not just sent home to deal with on our own.

I trust that my regular visits and check ups and doctors show that I have a healthy baby growing inside me and that's what I feel and that's what I know. It's all I can do until my baby is born. Love it, grow it, trust it, trust me.

to you and I wish you a peaceful decision. Listen to your heart.

Message edited 4/8/2009 9:24:46 PM.

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

Im not sure if you have been following my posts since December (my level 2 came back with "risks).
After much discussion, DH and I decided not to do the amnio. It is a very personal decision.
We are going to love this baby no matter what.
At my 20 week, they said everything was normal (except for a marker on the heart, which may go away on its own).
Now, yesterday, I went for a 28 week sono and my baby is measuring small, so, they want to monitor me once a week.

All we can do is hope and pray that I'm going through all of this and I give birth to a healthy baby!

If you have any questions, please FM me!

This is my second pregnancy and I feel like its my first because I didn't go through any of this with DS...All my sonos with him were always "Good News".
As they say, every pregnancy is different!

I wish you the best of luck!

Have faith and follow your heart!

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

I am sorry that you're going through this-My DH and I just had a major scare and it was an error on the DR's part. Before we knew, we decided the amnio was the last resort for us, and had the u/s and everything looked great! So, we did not have to do the amnio. My dr at first said that our numbers for D/S were 1 in 144, normal for my age is 1 in 600, after the level II ultrasound, went to 1 in 300 b/c we had no markers...

Like the PP poster said, it is such a personal decision and up to you and what makes you feel comfortable.. if you need anything, please FM me.

Much luck to you and keep us posted!! It will all work out

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

First off...

Secondly, you have to do what you feel is best for your family. My 12 week ultrascreen came back highly abnormal. My doc was having me go to the high risk constantly and he was throwing many different possibilities at me. Basically, he told me that the amnio was my choice. DH and I sat and discussed everything, cried a lot, and finally decided that I would go for all the blood tests and sonograms that the doctor advised, but decided against the amnio..... and I am glad that we did.... we had our Level II last week and our baby boy is absolutely perfect.

Please don't let the doctors freak you out too much....

If you ever need to talk, please FM me.

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

Thank you so much for being so open everyone... i really appreciate it.. id really rather not have the amnio i dont like the risks of it to be honest and dont think its really worth it since im going to have this baby regardless.

im going to take things one step at a time and start with the consult with the high risk doc. and see what he has to say.

again thank you! i just really needed someone to listen to me since sometimes i think dh just yes' me to death and doesnt listen.. plus.. i worry.. aout EVERYTHING i worry even if they tell me everythings fine! i guess its only normal for me!

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

it really only comes down to what you and your dh feel most comfortable doing. for me it not an option because of the invasiveness of the amnio, plus its only a statistic, but i could see how you'd want piece of mind.

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

oh Meg - i wish i could give you better avice...i truly don't know what i'd do....

one thought - can you ask to be referred to a genetic specialist? (not a sono person - but a genetic counselor)... We had to see one and we walked away with so much knowledge - it was overwhelming (in a good way)...

they can take those numbers and your family history and help you figure things out!

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

Personally, I'm not even sure you can do an amnio at this point. I think the latest you can have an amnio is 24 weeks....your only option may be the genetic sono and fetal echo...I would call the Dr. tomorrow and speak at length with him about it.

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

thank you all so much i really appreciate it. im just really stressed and cant stop crying because now im worried. i really just appreciate all the kind words it means alot

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

I would go for an amnio and also switch to a high risk OB given your cramping symptoms. It will help you feel better knowing what you are dealing with. Most likely everything is fine but knowledge is power IMO!

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

Re: dont know what to do could use some advice

Personally- I would probably do the amnio because I would HAVE to know.

I hope everything is okay