Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I would cancel the kids from your husbands plan and sign up for CHP. If you get your application in in the next week or so, you can start coverage as soon as February 1st. Go on the site, print out the application and pick an insurance company (Empire is good) and mail it the app. directly to them with the required documents. Just check the option in the app. that your husband's health insurance is too expensive. It's really easy, and you will save a fortune. Especially since there are NO copays for anything.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Also, make sure your DH's tax withholdings are correct. Many people have more taxes taken out than necessary so that they get a nice tax return. However, in your case, that money in your hands now would be more beneficial. But, make sure his company is taking out enough taxes so that you aren't hit with a tax payment next year.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

First of all I want to give you lots of

Like a few other posters suggested have you considered babysitting to make some extra money. Even if it was just picking up and providing after care for a school aged child. Another option is to work part time on Sunday and in the evenings when your DH could provide childcare. In addition to clipping coupons try to only buy groceries on sale. It has helped me to save a lot of $$. I would cancel the cable all together and just keep the internet. You can get most TV shows online any way. Many public libraries have free DVD rentals and free children's activities.
When going to the doctor's office ask if they have free samples for medications often they will give you enough medicine to cover the treatment.
As for the repairs needed on you car you could try arranging a payment plan with your local mechanic. I have had success with this in the past. Another way I way able to get the repairs done cheaper was to buy the parts else where and have the mechanic install them.
Try not to feel helpless.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I dont think I can add much more than what everyone else has said.

Cancel cable, even if its basic.
Apply for food stamps Im sure you'll qualify
Apply for Family Health First.

Good luck with everything. Im a strong believer in that things do eventually fall into place

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Maybe you can try and babysit for some extra income? Try if you can do it at your own home or babysit evenings/nights and /or weekends when your DH is home. You can ask parents at your kid's school and post on Craigslist and even call employment agencies specializing in babysitter/nanny placement .
You can also look into elder care, some elderly people need someone to clean, cook and run errands for them and they pay well. You'll be surprised how much extra you can make if you get enough hours of babysitting or elder care . I have few friends who do this . I used to babysit myself when DD was little bc we needed extra $ and it helped a lot.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

where are you located?

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I agree with child health plus. I was in it for 4 years when I was younger. Unless things have changed they will cover the kids until they are 18 or graduate from hs, whatever comes first. As for baby sitting, I know NYC provides vouchers for child care for low income. I'm not sure if Nassau and Suffolk do as well but it's something to look into. I'd go on the county website and check around for what your eligible for. GL!

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

care.com and sittercity.com are great ways to look for babysitting jobs and elder care jobs.

Craigslist also has a section under community for childcare...people looking for work and people looking for childcare.

You could maybe work at a daycare. My friend works at a daycare in Plainview and said that all employees kids go for free, I'm sure a lot have deals like that. She said you only make like 9-12 an hour but it's a full time job PLUS you aren't paying for childcare.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

check with church on a food pantry.

walmart offers some 4 prescriptions for asthma.

i know it can be frustrating. my salary do not cover much over daycare for a baby and afterschool program but sometimes you have to look at the whole picture. the job may offer better benefits cost plus they may have a 401k match tohelp for the long term.

also consider working at a daycare center where you can enroll the baby as part of salary. or there are job that you can work night shift like stores or claims in insurance

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Everyone has offered great advice. It will get better!

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I know not everyone is a fan of taking care of other people's children.

I had a dog-sitter once when I lived in Long Beach who made decent money AND did this because she could bring her kid(s) with her.

She even charged for mileage ;).

Or even doing a few housecleaning gigs.

If you can build up a clientele, you can do something like catering if you are good at cooking.

There are still people out there who pay big bucks for these kinds of things.

As was suggested you can check out DSS (note: these offices are really horrible to go to and I think that's to discourage people from applying) to see if your income meets guidelines for assistance.

Check out the religious institutions in your town as well if you need support as well.

I also know nothing about this organization, but just was linked up to them from Twitter yesterday:

http://thelittlethingsorg.webstarts.com/

www.hitesite.org is also an amazing resource for the entire LI/NY area.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

P.S. I also always encourage people who are looking for work, but may not be able to commit to a F/T or consistent schedule, to get on a per diem list for a human services agency that runs group homes and such.

A lot of these places need staff regularly to fill in, and it's not all wiping butts and restraining people.

Generally you just need a HS diploma and willingness to train and get along with others.

Often these can turn into F/T flexible positions that offer health care and chance to advance as well.



Do a search on Indeed.com and put in key terms like "counselor", or "direct care staff".

That weekly job magazine in the front of the grocery store is free and often lists these types of places.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I pass by a church on my way home that says they give away a free bag of groceries to anyone on Tuesdays I believe. I'm sure there are many community organizations around you that can help.


Also, it might be hard, but contact the PTA of DS's school, they may be able to help get some donations. You would be surprised to hear how many other families are in the same shoes.

There are tons of resources depending on where you live and depending on what you need:

child care nassau

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Hang in there! Babysitting sounds like a good option.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Thank you all so very much for the advice, FMs, tips, prayers and hugs. It's been a crazy day here so I wasn't on much.

I wanted to answer some questions asked.

Someone asked if we can move or if DH is able to do is job else. Yes & No.
No, we can't move because we have a 2 year lease, this is year 1 of that lease. It's for a apartment complex and I don't even want to think of the fees we would have to deal with if we broke the lease.

DH is a CNC machinist, he makes aircraft parts. I'm sure there are jobs available in other states but taking on a move like that now isn't possible. Even if we didn't have the 2 year lease. We don't have enough saved for a big move and no family to help. I will say that moving off of LI is our dream and our goal. If I could tomorrow with no headache I would do it in a heartbeat.

I called a few numbers, spoke to a bunch of people and found out we qualify for CHP. So I have the application (DH printed it at work). I am going to fill it out and hope that we get it. That would be the biggest weight off our shoulders. Without having to pay for the family insurance his job offers we would be saving a lot of month.

Also last year DH fixed his check so that we are getting the most we can now and not later on when we do our taxes. It helped.

I am def going to talk to DH about canceling cable for now until we get back on our feet. *Thank You Retrochick for offering to burn movies for me. That's very kind of you.*

DH works 13 hours a day, 6 days a week. I have been looking all over for a night job. I haven't been successful. I used to be a medical receptionist. I am in Ronkonkoma. The best thing about today, I talked to my SIL (she just had a baby a few days ago) and asked if she would be willing to have me sit for the baby when she goes back to work instead of the sitter she was going to go with. Turns out she always wanted me but was afraid to ask. So we are going to work out a what to pay and the hours this weekend.

I am going to get more organized with the coupons and hopefully I will see more savings. We are planning to fix the car when we get our return.

I am going to look into every thing everyone has suggested.

I am so appreciative to everyone offering advice. Today was ( still kinda is) a bad day. I really didn't know what to do next. You guys have really talked me through it without evening knowing me. My own family doesn't care that much about me. So thank you. Thank you for just listening and caring. Its means more than you know.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Posted by BellaRock

The best thing about today, I talked to my SIL (she just had a baby a few days ago) and asked if she would be willing to have me sit for the baby when she goes back to work instead of the sitter she was going to go with. Turns out she always wanted me but was afraid to ask. So we are going to work out a what to pay and the hours this weekend.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Posted by Erica

Posted by BellaRock

The best thing about today, I talked to my SIL (she just had a baby a few days ago) and asked if she would be willing to have me sit for the baby when she goes back to work instead of the sitter she was going to go with. Turns out she always wanted me but was afraid to ask. So we are going to work out a what to pay and the hours this weekend.

that's great!! I know it will be a little bit, but that's a great plan! I hope it works out for you!

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

- apply for free/reduced lunch/breakfast at the school
- local catholic charities organizations often have some funds set aside to aid folks with unexpected expenses, job loss challenges etc
- use the local library for everything you can, magazines, movies, music, books job search etc.
- food pantries, food stamps.

What kind of work are you looking for? Have you been in touch with the school to give them a heads up on what is happening at home. Sometimes they can offer local advice and some additional ways on how to move forward.
This is going to get better...you are already facing the battle head on. Hang in there!

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Posted by BellaRock




I called a few numbers, spoke to a bunch of people and found out we qualify for CHP. So I have the application (DH printed it at work). I am going to fill it out and hope that we get it. That would be the biggest weight off our shoulders. Without having to pay for the family insurance his job offers we would be saving a lot of month.


The best thing about today, I talked to my SIL (she just had a baby a few days ago) and asked if she would be willing to have me sit for the baby when she goes back to work instead of the sitter she was going to go with. Turns out she always wanted me but was afraid to ask. So we are going to work out a what to pay and the hours this weekend.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I am just reading this and I can't think of anything practical to add.

I really just wanted to offer hugs and empathy. I felt your pain through your post and got a bit teary eyed reading it.

I was out of work for a long time recently and things got tight for a while, so I can relate to an extent.

I am glad to see your recent positive update.

I can't for the moment recall the ages of your children but if you happen to have a baby boy and he needs clothes I have a bunch that I would be happy to give you.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Such wonderful news! I hope that better days are just on the horizon

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

We got my children on Child health plus even though DH's job offered it. We cancelled it with his job and enrolled once we knew we qualified.

We couldnt afford to keep them on it anymore and we couldnt afford the copays.

Hang in there

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Sounds like everyone gave good advice. The only thing I would add, is I don't think you and DH should go without insurance. I have a relative that has the children on CHP and her and her husband don't have insurance. Well, her DH has had to go to the ER a few times, due to a injury and a illness. They are stuck with a huge ER bill, and don't have the money to pay it. You may say now that you don't go to the doctor often, but you just never know what could happen. I wouldn't put yourselves in a situation like that.