Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I completely agree with Alli! The state also has a site to see if you qualify for reduced health insurance for yourself and your husband. My husband had an accident in 2009 and we are still getting bills after insurance. Without insurance just the surgeons bill was 103,000. If you have options take the HMO vs the PPO lower deductions higher copays if you need it.

Also, not sure how long your husband has been at his job but did he ever consider asking for a raise?

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

So much great advice given and a great update about you babysitting for your niece.
I also wanted to add you can sell things you no longer need on craigslist or in consignment shops. Kids clothes and toys as well as adult clothing. I don't know if there are any shops in your area but there is a great consignment shop in Riverhead. I have sold so much stuff there, you don't always get a ton of money but its something.

Also I have a friend that runs a children's thrift shop in Middle Island. She sells the most beautiful kids clothing and other stuff so inexpensively and she uses all of the money to run a local food pantry. If you need to buy new things for your kids this might be a good option.

I know you're having car trouble and I'm assuming it's an older car, make sure you aren't overpaying for car insurance.

Lots of LIF ladies are expert coupon shoppers and can tell you how to stretch your dollar. Is your DH bringing meals from home to work? Investing in a good lunch box, ice packs and a thermal mug will save a ton in the long run.

The library is great for renting DVDs and books for the kids.

I know there are a bunch of LIF husbands that are car mechanics, maybe someone here could do the work on your as side job for less money. We just had to do a big repair on my stepdaughters car and we bought parts from a junkyard and from eBay and paid someone to do the work.

Good luck

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I was in a similar situation at the end of 2010. I had an almost 1 yr old that I stay home with. DH lost his job. We could afford Cobra but other than the mortgage that was really it. (I went back to work per-diem when I could while DH was searching and interviewing)

We went to DSS and we were surprised to see how much in assistance we qualified for. It was a tremendous help. Going to the offices succk big time but usually once you go to get set up you don't have to go back unless there's an issue.

I hated the idea of having to do it but it helped us stay afloat.

It got better for us and I know it will for you too! Keep your head up!

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Have you thought about babysitting? That's a good way t earn some extra cash and you don't have to worry about child care for your own children.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Trust me.. I know how it is. Rob and I are both unemployed now and struggling like you would not believe. After this month.. our savings will be almost completely gone. We're just hoping for a big refund to get us through until I can find a job.

I've given up looking for work that will pay what I was making and have been eyeing jobs that offer pay cuts of over 40K.. just so I can make ends meet.

I get through it by taking a deep breath, looking around and counting my blessings. I have a lot of them. I know it will get better.

I will say.. do NOT give up health insurance until you look into alternative insurance for lower income families. That is one thing you do NOT want to be without.

Good luck. I will keep you in my prayers.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Lots of great information already given and it sounds like the babysitting may just be a great idea ! I am nearby if there is anything I can help with

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Posted by dm24angel

We got my children on Child health plus even though DH's job offered it. We cancelled it with his job and enrolled once we knew we qualified.

We couldnt afford to keep them on it anymore and we couldnt afford the copays.

Hang in there

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Thanks everyone again. I appreciate all the help and tips.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Definitely cut the cable. We are not struggling nearly as much and we cancelled ours for precautionary savings until I start working again. Probably saved $700 last year which helps. I agree to look for other insurance options but do not cancel. I had a spontaneous unexpected health issue recently and we would be screwed for life if we didn't have insurance. See if you qualify for food stamps, this is what it is for. You will make it work.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I am glad things are seeming a little more positive.

I just wanted to add too..........something that should be kind of obvious, but when I find that I am struggling with some bills and such, I often reflect to see that a lot of extra money is being spent on going to the grocery store or Target simply out of routine and habit, not that we necessarily NEED anything.

Besides things like milk for DS, I ALWAYS have food in the house but not necessarily what I am craving that moment KWIM?

It is so easy to walk into Target especially with a list of 5 small items and leave with $100.00 worth of stuff in my cart.

Do that each week, that's a car payment/gas/insurance ;).

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now, it can only get better....

were you able to apply for food stamps? They also give you cash if you qualify. The can help you out a great deal. It's a pain going through the process but certainly worth it in the long run.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

I'm sorry you are going through this.

As other posters suggested, look into child health plus, but also, I wouldnt write off health insurance for you guys either. Although the situation may not be the best now, you dont want to make it worse. Although you may barely go to doctor now, accidents and illness may happen. A particularly bad stomach virus has landed me in the hospital with an IV in my arm more than once. The bills from things like that can severely hurt you.

How about shutting off the cable completely or do channels 1-21 right now...thats like $20 per month. Coupons are good, stop and shop is great for having good deals...buy whats on sale and generic, and USE the gas rewards from them too. How about selling on ebay things that you dont need? I would just look for a part time job when DH is home so you are not paying for child care. The babysitting idea is a good one too. Cut out all luxuries and dont order out.

I know the situation may seem hopeless, but it will get better. Stay positive and positive things will come to you.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Check out healthy NY GHI.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Posted by mzsocialworker1

P.S. I also always encourage people who are looking for work, but may not be able to commit to a F/T or consistent schedule, to get on a per diem list for a human services agency that runs group homes and such.

A lot of these places need staff regularly to fill in, and it's not all wiping butts and restraining people.

Generally you just need a HS diploma and willingness to train and get along with others.

Often these can turn into F/T flexible positions that offer health care and chance to advance as well.



Do a search on Indeed.com and put in key terms like "counselor", or "direct care staff".

That weekly job magazine in the front of the grocery store is free and often lists these types of places.

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Apply for Wic.. It is Women infant children) it covers milk, formula fruis and veggies for you and the kids..

Re: Ever feel so hopeless?

Lots of great advice and YAY for the babysitting job and qualifying for the health insurance

I just wanted to add you can save some money buy making your own things. We make our own beer, bread, baby wipes, cleaning supplies, and laundry soap to name a few. This has helped out SOOOOOO much. You can spend a lot on stuff unless you're good at coupons and even then I never cared for what I "had" to buy. I much prefer making our own. I also suggest eating in at least 4 if not 5 days a week. I cook 3 meals a day 6 days a week and on Saturday I get a night off and eithe rmy husband cooks or we eat leftovers. I do sales and plan a Big Sunday meal to last throught the week. Like yesterday we had a roasted chicken that is now lunch meat and will be chicken noodle soup tomorrow. Also if DH isn't making and taking a lunch and snacks he should try it. Eating at home seemed more expensive at first but once we stopped eating out and making mindless stops we are amazed at how much we're saving!