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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
will you circumcise?
I'm really nervous about it, especially since my mother found out its probably a boy, she's been hounding me about making sure that I think about which synagogue to perform the Jewish tradition ... seriously yikes! I'm always squirming at such ceremonies and glare at the parents in anger and hate.
She made me feel it would bring great shame to family if I didn't circumcise, I think I could probably get away with getting it done in hospital by surgeon an then have a simple ceremony at 8 days, is that done?
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Posted 8/30/09 1:30 PM  |
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spa118
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 2157 total posts
Name:
Shari
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
that really isn't done - the circumcision is done by a moel (sp?). It doesn't have to be done at a synagogue. The ceremony is called a briss, and it can be a small ceremony in your home. Moils are very skilled at doing circumcisions, they do tons a week. I don't think you have anything to worry about if you use a moil.
ITA though, I'm glad I'm having a girl so I don't have to worry about this, but really, relax.... it will be OK. 
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| Posted 8/30/09 1:33 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
If this baby was a boy, we would not have circumcised. We have two boys, and they've never had a problem. Contrary to popular belief, there really is no extra cleaning. At this age the foreskin doesn't retract, so you just wipe it like a finger and you're done. Plus the health benefits don't outweigh the risks IMO.
A lot of my friends are also having lots of problems with their sons circumcision. Skin readhering and having to be ripped apart  or the baby being recircumcised-yikes.
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| Posted 8/30/09 1:39 PM |
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
my son is circumcised. we did it in the hospital -- my husband is jewish, but i told him from the get-go that no old jittery man (or woman) holding a knife would be allowed near my son's penis. yeah yeah i know mohels are so skilled in doing this but i ONLY felt comfortable with a doctor doing it.
it was fine. they numb the area with a topical solution. he was brought back to me shortly thereafter and was totally fine. if this next one's a boy i'll do the exact same thing.
Message edited 8/30/2009 1:47:52 PM.
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| Posted 8/30/09 1:46 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by positivetests
my son is circumcised. we did it in the hospital -- my husband is jewish, but i told him from the get-go that no old jittery man (or woman) holding a knife would be allowed near my son's penis. yeah yeah i know mohels are so skilled in doing this but i ONLY felt comfortable with a doctor doing it.
it was fine. they numb the area with a topical solution. he was brought back to me shortly thereafter and was totally fine. if this next one's a boy i'll do the exact same thing.
Did you do anything for your DH's family?
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| Posted 8/30/09 1:54 PM |
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by momytobein2010
Posted by positivetests
my son is circumcised. we did it in the hospital -- my husband is jewish, but i told him from the get-go that no old jittery man (or woman) holding a knife would be allowed near my son's penis. yeah yeah i know mohels are so skilled in doing this but i ONLY felt comfortable with a doctor doing it.
it was fine. they numb the area with a topical solution. he was brought back to me shortly thereafter and was totally fine. if this next one's a boy i'll do the exact same thing.
Did you do anything for your DH's family?
Nothing. This is MY kid and my decision. His mother also had both him and his brother circumcised in the hospital!! so they didn't care either way.
YOU have to do what YOU feel comfortable doing and do not feel bad about it.
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| Posted 8/30/09 2:05 PM |
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Want to add, this is probably the first of many decisions regarding your child that you will make, that will piss off someone in the family about something!
You are the mom, not your mom. Do what you think is right and don't feel bad!
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| Posted 8/30/09 2:09 PM |
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Sunday
In love with a boy named Luca
Member since 6/09 1799 total posts
Name:
`
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by greeneyes361708
If this baby was a boy, we would not have circumcised. We have two boys, and they've never had a problem. Contrary to popular belief, there really is no extra cleaning. At this age the foreskin doesn't retract, so you just wipe it like a finger and you're done. Plus the health benefits don't outweigh the risks IMO.
A lot of my friends are also having lots of problems with their sons circumcision. Skin readhering and having to be ripped apart or the baby being recircumcised-yikes.
ITA. I won't do it if I have a boy. There is a huge movement away from circumcision. If you're having second thoughts do some research and you may find yourself surprised at the benefits of leaving him intact.
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| Posted 8/30/09 2:39 PM |
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spa118
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 2157 total posts
Name:
Shari
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by positivetests
my son is circumcised. we did it in the hospital -- my husband is jewish, but i told him from the get-go that no old jittery man (or woman) holding a knife would be allowed near my son's penis. yeah yeah i know mohels are so skilled in doing this but i ONLY felt comfortable with a doctor doing it.
it was fine. they numb the area with a topical solution. he was brought back to me shortly thereafter and was totally fine. if this next one's a boy i'll do the exact same thing.
I completely respect your opinion and right to have the circumcision done in the hospital, and I am very glad your son had no problems.
I just wanted to respond, so some people who are having a bris aren't scared to death - I am Jewish, and would NEVER allow a jittery old man or woman with a knife near my child either. You interview and choose your moil just as you would a pediatrician.
There can be complications in the hospital as well- I don't want to scare anyone, but I met someone at my d'rs office yesterday who told me that her son was circumcised by an OB in the hospital, and there was some extra skin left. NOt a health risk, no damage, but she said it was almost like it was never done.
There is no right or wrong answer, I agree it is a personal decision, and I do not want in any way to start any drama, I just wanted it to be clear that in having a bris, it is safe.
I wish everyone well! I'm not a religious bris- pusher, I just wanted people not to be scared.
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| Posted 8/30/09 2:47 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
My mom also did argue that a Mohel would have more experience than an OB doing this procedure. For some reason DH and I were convinced that a surgeon would be doing in a hospital.
If it comes down to our OB or a shaky old man, I choose shaky old man! My OB is very good at delivering babies but she delivers many Jewish babies and I don't think she's done many if any circumcisions.
So OB's are always the one to perform circumcisions?
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| Posted 8/30/09 3:18 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
We are having a  and are not Jewish, but will have him circumsized at the hospital by my ob-gyn.
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| Posted 8/30/09 4:34 PM |
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Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!
Member since 12/08 11013 total posts
Name:
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
I just want to respond that not all Mohel are shaky old men. In fact, many OB's are Mohel themselves. The mohel we are using is an OB and while he has been doing them for quite some time, he is not "a shaky old man". It is completely your decision, it's your but if you want him to be brought up in the jewish faith then I would have a bris because if he decides later that he would like to follow his ancestral faith, it will be much more painful!
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| Posted 8/30/09 4:43 PM |
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
I would take these horror stories with a grain of salt. ALL of my friends have boys - literally all of them! - and not one has had a problem with their circumcision site. I really think these problems are in a minority of cases.
And agreed if my OB was a shaky old man with a knife, they wouldn't be going near my son's penis either. 
Good luck in your decision.
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| Posted 8/30/09 5:13 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
we don't plan on circumsizing.
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| Posted 8/30/09 7:16 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by momytobein2010
My mom also did argue that a Mohel would have more experience than an OB doing this procedure. For some reason DH and I were convinced that a surgeon would be doing in a hospital.
If it comes down to our OB or a shaky old man, I choose shaky old man! My OB is very good at delivering babies but she delivers many Jewish babies and I don't think she's done many if any circumcisions.
So OB's are always the one to perform circumcisions?
I think your mom makes a good point. A mohel probably has more experience with circumcisions than an OB. We didn't know what we were having, but my OB had asked what our plans were if we had a boy. She seemed happy that we'd have a bris instead of a hospital circumcision.
It was important to me to have a bris. I chose to not be in the room during the circumcision. We had the bris at our house. I'm glad we had it there b/c I could nurse DS and spend time with him alone as soon as it was over. I liked the mohel and there were no complications.
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| Posted 8/30/09 7:30 PM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
We didn't circumcise DS and we're very happy with the decision. For 2nd DS, we won't circumcise, either.
This is a very personal choice that was between me and DH.
ETA: I have two nephews who had it done, and they've both had to have 'corrections' done, that's not why DH and I decided against it. We felt it was better to let DC make this choice when he is older if he wants to do it.
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| Posted 8/30/09 8:11 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by momytobein2010 I'm always squirming at such ceremonies and glare at the parents in anger and hate.
I'm really sorry - I don't want to start drama, it's not my way - but I am very offended by this comment.
I am jewish, I am having a boy, and I take great pride in having my family and friends to join me for what is one of the most sacred events in judaism.
Am I nervous, of course, but I am nervous when I take my kids for shots too - or when my daughter got on her "big girl" bike the first time, but it doesn't stop me from doing it. I have spent a great deal of time researching the Mohel that is proper for me. Part of the questioning I did of the Mohels was asking what type of anesthesia would be used so my child wouldn't feel any pain.
Regardless of how you feel about it, how dare you say that you look at me and others like me with anger and hate.
Why bother going to a bris if that is the way you feel. How would you feel if I said as a jew I look at you with anger and hate for not having a bris.
I'm sorry but it is incredibly rude and insensitive.
As a Jewish woman, and a jewish mother I take a lot of pride in the tradition and ceremony itself.
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| Posted 8/30/09 8:20 PM |
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Cherry77
LIF Toddler
Member since 6/08 399 total posts
Name:
Cher
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
the moyhel that we had for our son was also an obgyn who delivers at north shore univ hospital. (Dr. Marchbein) some of you may know of him. He was fantastic . He actually was very entertaining and added lots of humor to the briss. It was performed in our house with about 30 or so family and friends and we catered from bagel boss. It really was fantastic. He charges about 800 for the procedure.
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| Posted 8/30/09 8:22 PM |
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angnick
Life is So Wonderful!
Member since 8/06 6663 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
my son is circumsized. we did it so he would 'look' the same as his daddy!
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| Posted 8/30/09 8:29 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
we will be doing it.
a coworker was telling me that she opted not to do it to her son when he was born b/c she didnt want anyone hurting him, touching/holding etc.
she then decided when he was 6 to have it done
she said her son didnt talk to her for 2 weeks..lol poor kid.
do it now or forever hold your peace...
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| Posted 8/30/09 9:37 PM |
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snowflake08
Love my boys!!!
Member since 8/07 5148 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
it is a very emotional day; and yes, as the mommy you dont want your child to feel any pain, but it's over before you know it!
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| Posted 8/30/09 10:07 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by MrsR
Posted by momytobein2010 I'm always squirming at such ceremonies and glare at the parents in anger and hate.
I'm really sorry - I don't want to start drama, it's not my way - but I am very offended by this comment.
I am jewish, I am having a boy, and I take great pride in having my family and friends to join me for what is one of the most sacred events in judaism.
Am I nervous, of course, but I am nervous when I take my kids for shots too - or when my daughter got on her "big girl" bike the first time, but it doesn't stop me from doing it. I have spent a great deal of time researching the Mohel that is proper for me. Part of the questioning I did of the Mohels was asking what type of anesthesia would be used so my child wouldn't feel any pain.
Regardless of how you feel about it, how dare you say that you look at me and others like me with anger and hate.
Why bother going to a bris if that is the way you feel. How would you feel if I said as a jew I look at you with anger and hate for not having a bris.
I'm sorry but it is incredibly rude and insensitive.
As a Jewish woman, and a jewish mother I take a lot of pride in the tradition and ceremony itself.
I'm sorry I really didn't mean to offend anyone. I respect your point of view.
I understand, and I am truly deeply sorry I wasn't expressing myself in the gentlest way. I don't hate Jewish traditions, but the beauty and sanctity of the Jewish ceremony go out the window in my head when the baby is wailing in pain.
I will always go to a bris, because of the deep respect I have for my family and for the traditions. I just go primal emotional when it actually happens. I don't hate my family for ever, just at that moment when I hear the screaming and my heart is in pain and eyes filled with tears. As a mother I feel like would grab that baby and run, and I don't understand how other mothers hold themselves back.
I'm deeply conflicted over this, but still have a lot of time. I really need to hear your opinions as it helps me to gauge what mine really is.
Thank you girls, and again, I'm sorry I really didn't mean to offend.
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| Posted 8/30/09 10:37 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
First, I am really glad that you wrote the apology, b/c you really offended me as well. With that said, I REALLY understand the emotions you are facing. It KILLED me to have DS circumcised however, I feel that Jewish traditions are important to follow. My family died in the Holocaust because they were/are Jewish and I feel I needed to honor their sacrifices. I would never have used someone I did not trust to be the mohel at my son's bris. We used Cantor Phil Sherman www.emohel.com. I completely agree with your mom, a mohel's job is to perform the bris. They do not use a knife. It is a special instrument. I could not be in the room while it was performed. My friends stayed with me and prayed - I was crying my eyes out and could not bear to be in the room. DS did not even cry when it was done.
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| Posted 8/30/09 10:49 PM |
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Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!
Member since 5/05 8126 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
If I have a boy I will circumsize only because DH was circumsized as well. And while DH was raised jewish he no longer practices the religion so we will not be having a bris.
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| Posted 8/31/09 12:15 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Expecting a boy? maybe TMI
Posted by LSP2005
I feel that Jewish traditions are important to follow. My family died in the Holocaust because they were/are Jewish and I feel I needed to honor their sacrifices.
I feel the same way - this is what motivates me almost everyday, that I can proudly show that I'm jewish, without any ramification, all because of the horrific sacrifices my ancestors went through. We didn't have to face the decision about a Bris because we never had any boys, but I'm sure, ultimately, we would have had one.
I appreciate the apology, and am really glad you wrote it...
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| Posted 8/31/09 6:26 AM |
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