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MAC222
LIF Adult
Member since 12/08 3860 total posts
Name:
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family members watching baby
for those who work, and have a family member watch their baby...
did it work out alright? How much did you offer to pay them? did they take the $$$?
I am sorry for so may questions...but I thank you for any help you have.
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Posted 6/24/09 1:50 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: family members watching baby
I work, and do not pay my MIL or my mom, or my sister. They've mentioned they would not take money, and they've said they are watching the baby bc they want to help us, not charge us.
I feel guilty with them watching the baby and not paying, but I wouldn't be able to afford it if I did. I am happy that our family helps us by watching our son. They actually 'fight' over whose turn it is to watch him. We are VERY lucky.
eta: We buy all the supplies as well.
Message edited 6/24/2009 3:35:41 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/09 1:55 PM |
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Mkr09
.....
Member since 5/05 7550 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: family members watching baby
My ILs watch Kaydyn. My MIL would not take any money and she actually buys most of the supplies for her house as well.
BUT I have to pick and choose my battles. I've learned to have to let the little things go b/c I am not paying them.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:23 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: family members watching baby
Posted by merri221
My ILs watch Kaydyn. My MIL would not take any money and she actually buys most of the supplies for her house as well.
BUT I have to pick and choose my battles. I've learned to have to let the little things go b/c I am not paying them.
Same here. It can be VERY frustrating. I don't know what we would have done without my in laws, but at the same time... it's come at quite a cost. 
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:26 PM |
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dani731
Blessed!!!
Member since 1/08 3355 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: family members watching baby
Posted by neener1211
I work, and do not pay my MIL or my mom, or my sister. They've mentioned they would not take money, and they've said they are watching the baby bc they want to help us, not charge us.
I feel guilty with them watching the baby and not paying, but I wouldn't be able to afford it if I did. I am happy that our family helps us by watching our son. They actually 'fight' over whose turn it is to watch him. We are VERY lucky.
Same here, my mom watches DS & she works nights (she has always worked nights, that is how her & my dad avoided daycare expenses when my sisters & I were babies). I think she is crazy but she insisted & she LOVES it. She is ALL about her grandkids. She did for my sister too but that was over 11 years ago. DS & my mom sleep together in the morning, he plays while she cooks dinner & she goes back to bed after we pick him up (either 330 if DH picks him up or 6 if I pick him up)
DH & I are very grateful & to show our appreciation we are trying to give her "big" gifts this year for holidays. EX. we spent $750 on a laptop that she wanted for mothers day. WAY more than we would normally spend but $750 is about 2 weeks worth of daycare for a newborn. The $750 is pennies compared to the money she has saved us on daycare expenses so far. DS is 6 months old so she has saved us about $6500 - $7500 so far. We plan to get her another big gift for her birthday & xmas. Probably not going to spend $750 again, but it will something thoughtful to show how much we really appreciate the help.
However I will add that even though the savings is great, I do feel that DS needs to have more interactions with kids. So we plan to put him in Daycare at least parttime next year either at 13 months or 18 months. depends on when I get my promotion next year (was supposed to get it this year, but it didnt happen but thats a nother story...) Once I get the promotion, we will be able to afford daycare.
Sorry so long......HTH!
ETA: we buy all the supplies (carseat, diapers, wipes, food, toys etc.)
Message edited 6/24/2009 3:30:09 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:26 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: family members watching baby
Posted by merri221
My ILs watch Kaydyn. My MIL would not take any money and she actually buys most of the supplies for her house as well.
BUT I have to pick and choose my battles. I've learned to have to let the little things go b/c I am not paying them.
Same here. My ILs watch DS#2 three days a week. My FIL gives him WAY too much juice during the day. My MIL has even told him that he gives DS too much stuff to drink, but he insists that DS need so stay hydrated. Since he gets so much just there, we rarely give him juice at home. I also wish they would limit his pacifier to only naps but FIL gives it to him when he wants it cuz he doesn't want him to be upset.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:38 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: family members watching baby
My mom watched DD for me for awhile, from the end of April until the 1st week of June. She wouldn't take any money, but that's because she's living in our guest room rent free right now.
It worked out ok, but if your family members are anything like my mom, you WILL run into some problems. For example, DD had VERY bad cradle cap on her forehead when she was about 2 months old. The ped. told me not to put anything on it, that it would clear up on its own. My mom took it upon herself to first try to rub it off with a dry paper towel (um, OUCH), and then slather Aquafor all over it--even though I specifically told her that I did NOT want her putting anything on it.
It's definitely convenient to have a family member watch your child, but sometimes you run into problems like that.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:43 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: family members watching baby
Posted by merri221
My ILs watch Kaydyn. My MIL would not take any money and she actually buys most of the supplies for her house as well.
BUT I have to pick and choose my battles. I've learned to have to let the little things go b/c I am not paying them.
Same here. We are very lucky, and I'm even luckier that MIL really respects my wants & decisions for DD.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:45 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: family members watching baby
Posted by MrsRivera
It worked out ok, but if your family members are anything like my mom, you WILL run into some problems. For example, DD had VERY bad cradle cap on her forehead when she was about 2 months old. The ped. told me not to put anything on it, that it would clear up on its own. My mom took it upon herself to first try to rub it off with a dry paper towel (um, OUCH), and then slather Aquafor all over it--even though I specifically told her that I did NOT want her putting anything on it.
  OUCH!!!!
Well at least you can scream at your mother!!!  When it's your MIL, you end up biting your tongue a lot. 
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:46 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: family members watching baby
When I first went back to work it was FT then after 3 months I went PT, now I am not working!
Through it all my ILs have watched DS. They offered, I never asked, infact we were researching daycares when they told us they wanted to watch him!
It has always worked out great of us, I love how close DS is to his grandparents and they live really close by so its very easy situation.
We have not paid them. THey would never accept it!
ETA: I totally agree with teh picking and choosing your battles comment. Although for me I think it has nothing to do with nto paying them but remembering they are FAMILY and more specifically DS's Grandparents.
I always keep in mind they are not raising my DS they are caretakers when I am not able to be with him. I dont expect them to do things they way I would, I dont expect them to listen to me when I say "well DS likes it this way...". Took MIL AGES to get over the "swaddle is a straight jacket mentality" and once she did DS started napping for them. Anyway, my mindset is that as long as nothing is done to harm DS and he is in one piece at the end of the day, everythign else is not as important.
Message edited 6/24/2009 3:51:42 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:48 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: family members watching baby
My MIL watches DS 3 days a week (It was 5 days - but I think it was too much for her).
We had our rough patches, but I think any new situation where your not with your child and someone else is in control will.
Once we got through those, it's been working out great.
I do pay her weekly, plus I gave her an AMEX for gas and I pay for her cell-phone.
She did NOT retire to help us, she had already been retired. But, I knew she could use the $$ help and we needed someone we could trust. SO we ended up helping each other.
I personally like paying her, because she treats it like a job. By that I mean, she's always on time and gives me advance notice when she can't come for a day. I also am very direct with her in what I want and she understands and follows my wishes.
Plus, who could possibly love your child as much as you, more than a grandparent??
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:54 PM |
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Mkr09
.....
Member since 5/05 7550 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: family members watching baby
Posted by steph4777
Posted by merri221
My ILs watch Kaydyn. My MIL would not take any money and she actually buys most of the supplies for her house as well.
BUT I have to pick and choose my battles. I've learned to have to let the little things go b/c I am not paying them.
Same here. My ILs watch DS#2 three days a week. My FIL gives him WAY too much juice during the day. My MIL has even told him that he gives DS too much stuff to drink, but he insists that DS need so stay hydrated. Since he gets so much just there, we rarely give him juice at home. I also wish they would limit his pacifier to only naps but FIL gives it to him when he wants it cuz he doesn't want him to be upset.
My ILs also give her juice and I have asked them not to. They give her a bottle to take a nap in the afternoons (I would have had them stop if it effected her naps at home but it doesn't). She was on a no dairy diet b/c she wasn't digesting dairy well and we found out my MIL was giving her cheese slices or cream cheese and jelly sandwiches for lunch 
I mean none of this stuff is going to harm her but it's not what I would do. You have to learn to take the good with the bad.
My ILs love Kaydyn so much and when my DH was out of work for 6 months they missed her soooooo much.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:56 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: family members watching baby
mom takes care of DS. She is retired and on a fixed income... she didn't WANT to accept $, but she really needs the money. we give her $400 a month, and then get things around her house fixed-up. It's a perfect set-up for our family, although she was a bit stressed when DS was 2-6 months old. now she loves it, and I'm so grateful that DS gets to know his Oma well
oh, I should also add that while she sometimes does things differently than we would, if we request that she change her routine (ex. give more prune juice, burp him more often, give more floor time), she always makes those changes... so we never had an issue as far as child-rearing decisions....
Message edited 6/24/2009 4:00:37 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:57 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: family members watching baby
Posted by Kelly9904
Took MIL AGES to get over the "swaddle is a straight jacket mentality" and once she did DS started napping for them.
One of the same issues with my MIL, except she never got over it and never did it. Ds never napped, was up all night for months and it was a horror show.
So even though he was in one piece at the end of the day... he really wasn't because he was so miserable all the time for months.
To the OP: would i do it again? Would i have my MIL watch #2? no i would not. Not until he/she was a lot older.
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| Posted 6/24/09 3:57 PM |
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Belladonna219
HOT MAMA
Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
Name:
Belladonna219
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Re: family members watching baby
My mom agreed to temp watch DS untill he was old enough to go to daycare. I had to pay her $200 a week and she lived with us. After about 1 month or so a friend of mine who used to run a daycare offered to watch him for $300 a week untill I found a Nanny. I am still a little upset I had to pay my mother to watch him. 
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| Posted 6/24/09 4:11 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: family members watching baby
our parents watch our baby (90% Inlaws 10% ourparents)
and we don't pay them anything. It is working out better now than in the beginning. it's tough to give up control but they are grandparents and love this kid to pieces!
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| Posted 6/24/09 4:29 PM |
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