Family vent.....

So, not sure what to do. My dad is still having Xmas and my brother is coming over with my SIL who we all hate.
DH does NOT want to go because he is mad at my brother....going back my grandma and brother no longer speak.
So my SIL did NOT come to my baby shower because my granmother was there (I know immature), but now Jay does NOT want to go over to my dad's house because my brother and SIL have NOT come over to see my boys are are now 3 months. They were going to come over in September but SHE had to go to the beach because it was a nice day and didnt want to miss out on the last beach day of the year.
I understand that during the week it is tough..we all work, bit on the weekends...come on..because they are too busy cleaning
So, Jay wants me to go to my dad's without the boys and he watch them, to spite my brother...by saying if he wants to see them, then he come out to us and see them.
Jay is NOT budging and is NOT going
Do I bring them.....Im pretty mad that they havent come to visit them. So now what is going to happen for our Christening...my brotherand SIL wont show because my grandma will be there...this is getting so ridiculous

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I wouldn't take them.

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You can say that the boys aren't feeling well.

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OK I have a similar situation...a friend who I went to college with then rented a house with up until I got married has still not come over to see Kerri.

We were invited to a NYE party where I would be able to bring Kerri but if this girl went I would not have gone b/c I feel she should see Kerri b/c she made the effort to come to my house....not b/c we happened to be at the same place.

I would not bring the boys...I agree with your DH

Message edited 12/21/2006 11:49:11 AM.

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thanks...you guys dont think by NOT bringing them is "childish"?

Message edited 12/21/2006 11:54:29 AM.

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I think two wrongs do not make a right. Your dad did not do anything to hurt you, your husband or your children- correct? Do you want to continue this family fight or make it to the point that you never speak to your brother again?

This is YOUR brother and you have a right to deal with the situation as you see best. You do not have to best friends or even allow them to hold the babies. But to purposely go there without them just to spite them is just stooping to their level.

Either go as a family or don't go at all IMO.

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This is my attitude about things: People do what they want/can. You can't change that. You just have to accept them the way they are.

So if you don't bring the boys- are you punishing your brother and SIL? Or your boys and the rest of the family.

I would just bring your boys and go over. Your brother and SIL sound very selfish. They suck. What can you do ? They are still your family and you have to deal with them.

I just don't believe in not going somewhere because someone else will be there. You end up ruining your OWN good time to spite someoen who probably doesn't care anyway. Thats JMO.

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Well I would rather upset your selfish brother then your DH...he seems he won't budge

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Posted by Moehick



But I feel her brother should make the effort....she is the one that had the children...he should make it a point to see his nephews...its like he doesn't care

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Posted by Diane

Posted by Moehick



But I feel her brother should make the effort....she is the one that had the children...he should make it a point to see his nephews...its like he doesn't care

YES, he has made NO EFFORT. My SIL choose to go to the beach over seeing them and my brother didnt open his mouth...she totally manipulates him..and he takes it

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I guess i will bring them...I dont want to seem childish by not, but I really want Jay to come with me

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I would agree, if it were your brothers house you were going to.......but its your dads. Don't you think he will be upset if he doesn't see his grandbabies for x-mas? I don't know, if it were me, I would go with the boys. Not to see the brother but to see the rest of the family. I think it would just be spiteful of you to not bring them. If your brother and his wife are as selfish as they seem, they probably wouldn't even realize that you didn't bring the babies BECAUSE of them. Does that make any sense?

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Truthfully I think DH, Brother and SIL are being childish.

How do you want to spend your first chirstmas with your boys and husband.

Do you want to go by yourself and leave them home? Given the situation with your mom passing away, I think that everyone should be together and your husband should spend the holiday the way you want, and if you want to spend it with your Father, Brother and SIL, no matter what they have done to you then you should all be together as a family.

I know that I would not want to leave my boys at home for Xmas, and I would want to spend it with my husband and boys as a family with the rest of my family, but that is just me.

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thanks ladies for all your honest responses....I was going to bring them...I just wish there was something I could say to convince jay into coming with me

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You have to go with your heart and with what you can live with after the holiday. I can understand your husband's viewpoint and I would stand by him. I have weak moments too where I want to be the bigger person but I will tell you from experience, you are worrying and thinking about them more than they are thinking about you. I say don't bring them - I honestly might not go at all. You should say that Jay is home with the boys and leave it at that. When someone says"oh, we wanted to see the boys" you can say "you are welcome to visit whenever you want" or "we're waiting".

Families are so annoying. I wish you the best. I think you all stay home.

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I would go and bring the boys to your DAD'S. Just tell Jay that you'd like to make this holiday as nice as possible for your dad, your boys, and yourself in light of all the sadness recently and that that's impossible without him.

I do see your point about bro and sil, I would be really hurt too, BUT this nonsense has to stop sometime...if they come to the christening...they're going to see the boys (you can't keep them home then )

I'm sorry you're dealing with this on top of everything else


I hope you enjoy the holidays regardless!!!

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I just wanted to add that I really hope your DH changes his mind and goes with you. He should really be there for you and your babies and of course your dad.

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