Feelings

Why is it that people feel they ahve the right to tell you how you SHOULD feel? or tell you your feelings are rediculous? What gives someone the right to say "you shouldn't feel that way"
How do you respond when someone does this to you.

Re: Feelings

Just say dont judge me unless you have walked in my shoes!

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If I possibly can, I ignore them and chalk it up to ignorance. If I can't do that, I just say "no one can help the way they feel, it's our reactions to those feelings that we can control so please don't tell me how I should or should not feel." I would then end the conversation so as not to get into an argument.

I hate when people say this to me, or to other people in my presence, so I know how utterly obnoxious you probably find it. This and "Relax" are the worst things someone can say to me

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no one should tell anyone how they should feel. If I want to feel angry about a situation, then let me.

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Posted by Leeners

I hate when people say this to me, or to other people in my presence, so I know how utterly obnoxious you probably find it. This and "Relax" are the worst things someone can say to me

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I usually tell people, "Live my life for one day then you could tell me how I should feel."

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Posted by ChristineR

I usually tell people, "Live my life for one day then you could tell me how I should feel."

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Do you think sometimes this is done in an attempt to make another person feel better?

In some cases it works:
#1: I feel badly because I was late for the party.
#2: You shouldn't feel badly, the party is just getting started.

Obviously in other cases it might not work as well--even so, the intent to be helpful might still be there:
#1-I'm so worried about an upcoming test I'm having.
#2-Oh, you shouldn't be! You have good doctors/study habits/etc...

Re: Feelings

Well, I think people are egocentric by nature - you cna't ever know what it feels like to be someone else, so you only ever have your experience or what you think you would say, do or feel in certain situations to go by. People just say what they think without thinking most of the time

I constantly find myself receiving unsolicited advice. Usually I just smile and say Maybe...I don't get people telling me how I feel though...

I'd say just say Well, that's not the way I feel, I feel like X and that's that!

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i usually tell them to go scratch their a$$

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I HATE when someone tries to invalidate my feelings. I feel like HOW DARE THEY?! I have a right to feel however I want, whenever I want. It doesn't mean my feelings are the truth, but just how I'm feeling at the time. I usually tell the person, "I cannot change how I FEEL, and I am entitled to feel however I am at any given moment in time."
When JT gives me a headache about feeling a certain way, I just tell him I don't appreciate him trying to invalidate me. He usually feels bad then when he realizes that's what he's doing.

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I agree with CJ

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I hate people.

Let ME feel how I WANNA FEEL

ugh