*FINAL UPDATE 10/14* We said goodbye.

10/14 - Clover is resting peacefully. Thank you everyone for your prayers and support.

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Update 10/12 - Clover had a bad night last night. She wouldn't eat, and she actually layed down in her litter box. Very lethargic but no vomit. I got her to eat a little bit this morning but we are very concerned. I contacted the vet and she said to keep a very close eye on her. Please say a prayer for Clover if you can. Thank you.
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Update 9/8 - Clover is responding well to the fluids 2x day, so we will continue doing that. I never thought we would get to this point, but she is truly still enjoying life now, again. She started getting more active and meowing to go out and eat grass, and started eating dry food again. Has not thrown up anymore bile. We know that things can change dramatically at any moment with her condition the way that it is, so she's getting extra heavy petting, and really, whatever the hell she wants. Thank you for keeping her in your prayers, and thanks for all of your responses!
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Update 9/1 - just got back from the vet. Vet said vomiting episode was a bad sign that her kidney disease is progressing (based on what i described she said it was likely bile). When that happens frequently, like 3 days in a row, several times a week, it's time to make the decision. If it's isolated, but she's still eating and drinking and otherwise responsive, we are okay. She checked her for anemia and that's all fine. Blood pressure fine. What I've noticed in her eyes "worsening" is actually her cateracts, not related to the kidney disease, and since her BP is okay, that's not cause for concern. Vet recommended increasing the fluids a little and breaking it into 2x a day and seeing how she does. Could be a couple of weeks, could be a few months. But she isn't in any pain, she isn't suffering, so there's no need to make a decision now. Yes it's $$$ but she's my girl - and if she still has quality of life, i'm not ready to take that away from her.

Thank you to all for your thoughts and give my girl some prayers if you can !!
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I know it's coming. Clover is almost 18 1/2 years old. We've been giving her sub-cutaneal fluids for about a year. She gets a few pills a day. Kidney disease and a thyroid condition. First the fluids were every 4 days, then every other day, now it's every day, and the amount keeps increasing. She's been doing remarkably well and still enjoying a quality of life.

Over the past couple of weeks I notice her condition seems to be worsening. She seems lethargic. She had an unusual vomiting episode on Sunday. She wouldn't eat until the next day. She is back to eating and drinking but is still lethargic.

I made an appointment with the vet for saturday morning - I know there's nothing that can be done, but I really just want a professional to assess her condition and give us some idea of how long we have left before decision time. I don't think the vet will say that it's time, right now, but I don't think it will be much longer. I just can feel it.

I have never gone through this from the perspective of it being MY pet, and having to be the one to make the decision. Of course DH will help me, but the bottom line is that she's MY kitty - has been since I was 14 years old

I guess i'm just looking for BTDT advice - what can I do to prepare myself, if anything? Where can I find comfort? What helped YOU?

Thank you for reading and for any advice

Message edited 10/14/2012 2:17:59 PM.

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I'm so, so sorry about Clover.

I've never had to put a pet to sleep; however, I did experience the passing of my two childhood dogs. I found a website...the Rainbow bridge...and they held Monday night (I think it was Monday) vigils in chat rooms. It did help to make me feel better being with other people in the exact same situation. It was informal and comforting.

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Ugh, my heart breaks for you reading this. I know how hard it is too say goodbye and honestly, there is really no way of preparing. I know that's not an answer but there is going to be a void in your life no matter what, and it's going to hurt.

When we decided to put down Gizmo who was my dog since I was 7, I knew it was coming and just made sure the days leading up to it, I spent as much time with her as I could and gave her all of her favorites snacks and cuddled her extra hard every day. In the end, it was still rough, but just know that you are absolutely doing what is right for them in the end. I know how much you love her and I am 100000% positive, Clover does too. You of course don't want her to suffer so as hard as it may be to say goodbye, remember that you're never ever going to fully say goodbye. SHe will be with you every single day, in all of your memories and she will know in the end, that you gave her an amazing life and she did the same for you. The thing that really helped me was reminding myself that Gizmo deserved better and should not suffer. I repeated that over and over as many times as I needed. I also put a stepping stone in our back yard where we buried her and I still till this day go out there and talk to her as crazy as that sounds.

If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate. Oh, and for the love of god, DO NOT read the rainbow bridge poem right away. My vet gave it to us that day and it killed me. It's beautiful, but it tore me up. I will be thinking about you guys and hoping the vet has nothing but positive things to say for Clover!

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Thank you both for your thoughtful responses

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Unfortunately, I don't think anything can prepare you for when the time comes. I still sometimes have nightmares that maybe I should have waited and given my furbaby another day or two to see what would happen - but I know that I gave her a good life and made the right decision.

Just love Clover as much as you can. I found that making a little memorial to my baby made things easier. DH and I still have one of her old toys on our fireplace mantle.

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Posted by Mill188

Unfortunately, I don't think anything can prepare you for when the time comes. I still sometimes have nightmares that maybe I should have waited and given my furbaby another day or two to see what would happen - but I know that I gave her a good life and made the right decision.

Just love Clover as much as you can. I found that making a little memorial to my baby made things easier. DH and I still have one of her old toys on our fireplace mantle.

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

i don't have any advice but just wanted to offer you hugs.

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Posted by Mill188

Unfortunately, I don't think anything can prepare you for when the time comes. I still sometimes have nightmares that maybe I should have waited and given my furbaby another day or two to see what would happen - but I know that I gave her a good life and made the right decision.

Just love Clover as much as you can. I found that making a little memorial to my baby made things easier. DH and I still have one of her old toys on our fireplace mantle.

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Thanks again everyone... I will update after her appt tomorrow morning. She's been on/off today. At one point she was hiding under the bed, and then about a half hour later, came out, laid on the living room floor and went to town cleaning herself. My old girl... she's getting a lot of extra petting. We just love her so much....

Re: Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I have lost many pets but have no advice on how to prepare. I know it had just gotten to the point that they were clearly suffering so badly, there was no other way.

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

So glad to hear that Clover isn't in any pain and still with you! It still must be hard with her being sick and the cost of it, but she is so fortunate to have you!

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

You and Clover will be in my thoughts!! She's so lucky to have a mom like you!!

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I'm definitely keeping you and Clover in my prayers

*UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Clover is in my prayers! I hope she continues to live a good, happy life.

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

many prayers for clover.

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Thank you everyone

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I don't think you can ever be fully prepared. I have had to have a couple of pets euthanized, and it never gets easier.

We had to put our beagle down this past Saturday. She was diagnosed with cancer just over a month ago. She went downhill quickly, so we made the decision to do what was best for her. We gave ourselves a couple of days to say goodbye and I'm really glad we did.

She loved riding in the car, so Friday night we took her out for a long car ride. We then took her to Gardiner County Park and let her roam around. She was so happy. She got to do two of her favorite things. On Saturday morning, we took a long drive before going to the animal hospital.

I think we gave her the best send-off we could. I took pics and video on Friday night of her that I will treasure. When I look at them, it doesn't make me sad. It makes me happy because she was so happy.

You gave Clover a happy life, which is the most important thing. The only other thing I would suggest -- take some pics. I've always done that and have never regretted it.

Message edited 9/4/2012 10:52:45 AM.

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Oh Bear

I dont have any advice but I know how much you love Clover and want to give you tons of hugs

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

It's not easy to prepare, nor is it easy to make the decision 'when'.
My furbaby Munchkin had squamous cell carcinoma in his jaw and tongue, which is a fast spreading non-curable cancer. It severely limited his ability to eat. I kept hoping that he would pass on his own terms instead of me having to make that decision, but in the end I had to . It was just a look in his eyes that told me "I've had enough". He did not have quality of life, he was so weakened from not eating and had lost a lot of weight.
It still gets to me 6 years later, but I remember how he found me and adopted me when he was only 5 weeks old. He was 13 when I had to let him go.
His ashes sit on a table in my living room, along side a picture of my mom and my MIL, both of whom are gone as well. I carry his name tag on my key ring.

I'm glad that everything you are doing still gives your baby quality of life.

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

updates?
i really dont like coming on this board since the loss of chloe. i cry almost every day missing her. I never wanted an animal because i know how much it hurts to lose one who would have known are time with chloe wouldnt be that long. when it came down when chloe was so sick i knew it was for the best and it makes it easier to accept. you got a lot of time with clover. cherish those memories.

Re: *UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

Re: *ANOTHER UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I'm so happy to hear that Clover is enjoying life! That's really great

Re: *ANOTHER UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I'm so glad she's doing well

Re: *ANOTHER UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I am so glad to hear Clover is doing well!

Re: *ANOTHER UPDATE* Advice needed - how can I prepare for when it's time to say goodbye?

I rarely post here but just read your story and am so glad that your cat Clover is feeling better.

As someone who just lost our cat a week and a half ago just enjoy every moment. Our cat got really sick pretty fast, in about 6 weeks. During this time I worked more from home when I could, gave lots of extra pets, made him as comfortable as possible, stayed up late with him many nights when he was doing really bad and just slowed down to really enjoy him. My husband and I discovered nursing skills we never knew we had, giving him medication via a pill gun, giving him shots and feeding him through a feeding tube.

We did everything we could to help him and we miss him very much but we are at peace knowing we did all that we could do.

He followed us around everywhere in the house and was super sweet and loving so I miss him greatly but what I think about is I am so glad I had I had the opportunity to love him. He was my first pet, he was great and he taught me how immensely you can love an animal. Even as much as I miss him now, I still wouldn't have traded any moment of it for anything and focus on the joy he brought us.