? for SAHM re: income

My dilemma:

bringing in an income
vs.
staying home w/my baby

My question is...what amount of money (annual salary) would it take for you, a sahm, to go back to work? 50K? 100k? Is there no amount of money you would accept?

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

For me there is no amount of money to be honest. DH has always worked crazy hours, so before we were engaged we talked about it and decided that I would stay home so that the kids had one of us around.

My mom was a SAHM and my MIL was for a while with DH and his brother, so maybe that's part of why it felt right for us?

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

Honestly, it would have to be a pretty hefty hefty paycheck to get me to go back to work. Even through the tough times and the $$ struggles we hit from time to time, there is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful to not be missing a day with my DD

And to be honest, I don't really know if $$ could ever replace the joy I get from seeing her growth and development every day. I don't ever want to miss a second of that.

Message edited 12/14/2007 8:42:20 AM.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

Right now for me there is no amount that would make me go back. I am feel VERY fortunate that we can live on Dh's salary.

If we were in a different position - if it was really tight or we weren't able to save money for the baby's future I would go back to work in a heartbeat.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I just turned down a job a few weeks ago that would have paid well over 100K - but I would have not seen Jack the entire day. They are considering letting me work from home full time - and that - I'll do for no less then 75K.

I think it completely depends on what you want.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

If I were offered a $100K right now, which is more then i have ever come close to making...I would consider it only to secure oursleves b/c right now we are definatly struggling with me being a SAHM.....

I think that salary would help DS in the long run based on our situation.

Anything close to what I WAS making, I wouldnt even give a second thought...I love being my my Baby.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I on the other hand think its not all about money for being a working mother, I know that as the mother of a toddler, I am happier going out to work like I do. It makes me a better mother...
I love dropping my son off at daycare in the morning and watching him toddle off happily to play there, and I love coming into work, sitting at my desk, having my starbucks and talking to my colleagues and I love the camaraderie.

Would I love to stay at home? um, yes, Wait no. No no, I meant yes. But maybe not. I don't know.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

The only way i could go back is if both options were settled.
1-Free Daycare for both girls or at least 1 in daycare and 1 watched by family (Long shot since all my family live on LI and I am not)
2-Salary would need to be at least 50K for it to be worth it monetarily.

Since #1 cannot happen at all for awhile and #2 would be easily attainable for me, so I can't go back cause of daycare. I would give anything to have my MIL or mom or any other family member here with me in ct and give me the gift of watching my girls so i could work at least part time.

Otherwise the only other way i could go back to work was if I made more than 75K to pay 2000 a month for 2 kids in daycare, plus another car/ins and all the other expenses that go with work-clothes, gas, lunch. etc.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

It's a struggle financially right now. Would I go back to work for $50? I would love too because we need the money and I miss my job. BUT, I just can't leave her. I absolutely cherish our time at home together during the day. I just wish it didn't come with the financial burden.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

My PT job has been very slow the past few weeks.
I can basically call mysellf a SAHM.
I would not go back to what I was doing, simply because my salary was NOT great to begin with...at all.
So, no amount of $. I'd rather stay home.

I do have something lined up (taking care of another baby) in Feb/March. It's going to be great, because, it will be done in my home.

I am very fortunate that DH has a good salary. His hours are long, but, I appreciate everything he does.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I went back to work for a salary in between the both numbers you have mention when Bryan was 18months. We reallly struggled with me being home and depleted our savings because of it I was planning on trying to make things better by working part time at night and sacrificing my time with Dh and my relaxing time and then I got a phone call out of the blue from my old job offereing me much more money than I was making before to come back.

I have to say that I really enjoy being back- I was starting to go cuckoo staying at home, I was literally watching the clock for Dh to come home some days just to get a break. Now I dont get to see Bryan as often because I do work long days but he is really enjoying his daycare and we really enjoy the weekends together. Plus our financial burden is better even though daycare is expensive.

The only issue right now is what to do about having another baby. Its going to be a 500 $ a week daycare bill and that is making me a little nervous so we are still undecided.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I would only go back part-time and to me the situation would be worth more than the actual pay. That being said, I would still have to clear what I pay for daycare, and I would almost want to double that (so for example, if I paid $1,000 for daycare per month, I would want to still bring home $1,000 per month) if that makes sense.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I left a very well paying job to be a SAHM. And its still there for me to back to FT at any time! But for now, its not the money and I enjoy being home. I do work PT just to keep up-to-date in my field of work.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

It is not just money I think about when going back to work. I also think about being a good role model for my daughter. She sees me go to work everyday and when she asks me why I go, I do not just mention money. I tell her "I work to help the children." I tell her that I wouild love to stay home with her all day, but adults have certain things they must do everyday.

I love that my daughter gets to develop her sense of self and independence. It is also important for me to work so she can go to preschool and develop other relatiosnhips.

It is important to me to have a life independent from her b/c one day soon she will not want me around 24/7 (she is 2 and that has happened already).

I stayed home for over a year and I actually think it is healthier for her when I am a working mother. I also keep in mind that I did not give up being a mother, when I come home at 4:00, it is all about quality time with the two of us!

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

Personally no amount right now is worth it for me/us. mpo! however in 5 years I will not take anything less than 75-100k.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

When I had John last year I was at a dead end job. So to go back wasn't an option plus, I wanted to stay home. It has been really tough living on 1 salary and DH is working very hard to do overtime. Things are getting better and I actually work 3 hours a week doing bookkeeping which brings in acouple of hundred for us a month. It took me awhile to get use to staying home and taking care of another human being and at one point wanted to work part-time but, I am so glad I never did. I love being home with him and it's great to see all the milestones.
In 5 years when John is in school, if I am offered a great job, then I would take it.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

After baby#2 comes in February $50K will go directly to work expenses and daycare so that wouldn't do it. I would take a role for 65K or 70K on LI. I plan to stay home for six months after #2 comes and see what's out there. If I see that it's working I'll stay home 1 year but financially I don't see how we would be able to pay the mortgage.

50K and a 2 hour commute isn't worth it now but it brings in something but it won't be worth it ina couple of months. My job is going nowhere as well so I'll be happy to leave.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I'm not a SAHM, but would like to be one. I make a decent salary (6 figures) and in order for me to SAHM we would have to drastically change our lifestyle. Meaning sell the house, move further away, etc. in order to live on one salary.

Honestly I'm torn between being able to give my DC more than I had growing up vs. having me home all day every day. Right now I'm working from home 2 days a week and in the office 3 days a week. I feel less guilty because she's with me more than daycare and although she gets sick alot, she seems to enjoy playing with the kids at daycare and often doesn't want to leave. I think it's a good balance, however after #2 is born, I'm considering going PT so that I can really give them my attention 2 extra days during the week.

I would LOVE to be home, but I feel bad not being able to give her the things I want to. Also, if I'm home with her I want to be able to do things - without some income, we wouldn't be able to do anything that costs something.

Message edited 12/14/2007 10:59:09 AM.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

For me if it wasnt for the benefits my job gives (free tution at one of the top 20 schools in the country) and my future goals using those benefits I probably would be Staying AT home or working somewhere else part time. My job is dead end but like I said the benefits are not. I am completing my Masters in Education and want to use that for my own personal benefit. I also need a break from DS once in awhile. I think I would go stir crazy if I had to be in the house 24/7 with no adult interaction. I also want my son to have the best and for my family not to struggle b/c we would be living on one income. DH makes a really good salary but I need to be working for "myself".

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I'm a full time working mom, but I work from home 2 days a week so DD is in daycare 3 days a week. I honestly think that is a great balance at this age (she is 20 months), because I find that if she has an extra day home with me, like a long weekend, she gets very clingy and whinny. She loves the people and kids at daycare and usually when we pick her up she fights us to leave. I think it gives them the opportunity to learn to play with other children, learn social skills (good with the bad but..)

I love my daughter very much but I think I would go crazy if I was home 24/7 with her. I think it is good for the mother to be able to have some adult time and use your brain.

As for the money, I want to be able to send my daughter to college and with the price of colleges now (50,000/year) both my husband and I need to work for that. I have talked about going part time with number two but I'm not sure if that will be benefitical or not since I get to work two days at home anyway. I think we may put our older child in daycare for one more day It will help her adjust to going to school anyway.

I think the thing that really matters it is that the time you do have to spend with them, make it quality time.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I will answer the original question--I don't know how it had anything to do with SAHMs using less of their brains or being lesser role models for their children ...

There is probably no amount of money. The reason I say this is because I wasn't making a ton to begin with (Catholic school teacher ) and we are VERY lucky to be able to do well on one income. I am not staying at home for me--most days I would rather be working. My DH and I decided that we didn't want our DDs in daycare at a very young age if we could avoid it, and we can.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

I could have stayed home and be a SAHM but at a HUGE financial sacrifice. With a house, cars, etc.... it was just way too close for comfort for me. I cannot live wondering if we had "something" come up that I would not have the money for it.

I will always be working PT. It's always "WHAT IF" with me. Things happen in life. I cannot imagine having to go back to work and having a 20 year gap in my resume.

ETA: I also like giving DH the socialization of daycare. PT is working best for all of us.

Message edited 12/14/2007 11:50:57 AM.

Re: ? for SAHM re: income

It was very very important to me to stay home with my son, and the same will go for future kids we may be blessed with.

So no amount of money would be worth it for me...it has nothing to do with me thinking daycare is bad...it's probably a great socialization tool for kids, and I know they learn a lot..

I just knew I wanted to be the one with my kids for the majority of their day.

I WILL however go back to work one day! When our youngest starts preschool is when I'll return to working. I like working, and I'm sure I'll need it by that time ;) I work now from home, so I think I have the best of both worlds. But I won't lie..money is always a strain. It was a burden we knew we'd take on to allow me to stay home...