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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: For Those
I think I actually have TREMENDOUS respect for the non-child driven, and my post is nothing but respectful - having been non-child-driven for 40 years before ds (truly- no IF, no IVF, no TTC, it just 'happened')... I just don't see the point of having a board dedicated to the bashing of the choice that OTHERS make, that's all I'm saying.
A few folks mentioned it yesterday but what a baaaaaaaaad idea...
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Posted 3/10/09 1:30 PM  |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: For Those
Posted by Palebride
Posted by anonttcer
I thought this board was a safe haven for those of us who have struggled with our feelings of inadequacy all our lives because we didn't want children or couldn't have them.
I don't think it's fair to come here and lurk and then comment on our opinions or feelings.
We don't go on the parenting or pregnancy board and start in about our feelings on the subjects over there...
Here's the thing though....it's a public forum. Anyone can read what you write on here. I understand needing a place to express yourself, I really do, but maybe a public message board isn't the place for it. Especially when some of the things being said on here are hurtful to other people who might not feel the same way.
I personally was incredibly hurt by someone's comment about how you get fat, get acne, get stretch marks, lose your will to live, and your husband's admiration....all to be a mother....
IMO if a board is that hurtful to you, you should not go and read it.
I don't read things on parenting or pregnancy- because that stuff is not for me.
If you don't have a pet, you don't go on pets.
If you aren't TTC- you dont' go on TTC.
Problem solved.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:31 PM |
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DirtyBlonde
*****
Member since 11/07 7344 total posts
Name:
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Re: For Those
Posted by Ophelia
but coming on here to tell people expressing themselves that they make you sick...is not cool.
but there was an inevitablity to it.
to the OP - I too am missing the 'chip'
i suffered from an eating disorder and i still live with eating disordered thoughts. i cannot handle the thought of my body changing at all; i think that i might hurt the baby with my poor eating habits. maybe it's not true - but beyond that, i just don't have the desire to raise a child.
every so often, i wonder if i'm making a mistake in my decision but really - i know that i've made the right choice for me.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:32 PM |
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Re: For Those
Posted by Lisa
You know, not for anything, this is OUR place to talk about how we feel about things. Do we go to the parenting board and tell you how to raise your children?
Please have a little respect for us and where you are posting.
Thank you, I was too pizzed to say anything that wouldn't come out just plain rude!! And like my momma said...
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:32 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: For Those
Posted by colette
I think I actually have TREMENDOUS respect for the non-child driven, and my post is nothing but respectful - having been non-child-driven for 40 years before ds (truly- no IF, no IVF, no TTC, it just 'happened')... I just don't see the point of having a board dedicated to the bashing of the choice that OTHERS make, that's all I'm saying.
A few folks mentioned it yesterday but what a baaaaaaaaad idea...
the point of this board is for us....the ones that choose not to be parents to discuss issues that face us.
Why would you even be on this board if not having children was not how you feel. I do not visit the parenting board (I am not and will not be a parent), or the TTC or Infirtilty boards...they do not pertain to me...
AND I would never go on those boards and tell them how they should feel or how they should or should not post....
again...i ask that you give us the repect that we give you!
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:33 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: For Those
Posted by anonttcer
IMO if a board is that hurtful to you, you should not go and read it.
I don't read things on parenting or pregnancy- because that stuff is not for me.
If you don't have a pet, you don't go on pets.
If you aren't TTC- you dont' go on TTC.
Problem solved.
But why should a board be intentionally hurtful to anyone? I don't care how anyone else lives their life! I don't judge them for it. I let them live it.
But I read all of the boards because I'm interested in what's going on.
Why should I have to stop that for fear of my life choices being attacked?
I see nothing wrong with having a board for people who don't have kids....I think it's great! But I should be able to read it without feeling like I'm being attacked for the way I live my life!
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:34 PM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: For Those
Posted by Palebride
Posted by anonttcer
IMO if a board is that hurtful to you, you should not go and read it.
I don't read things on parenting or pregnancy- because that stuff is not for me.
If you don't have a pet, you don't go on pets.
If you aren't TTC- you dont' go on TTC.
Problem solved.
But why should a board be intentionally hurtful to anyone? I don't care how anyone else lives their life! I don't judge them for it. I let them live it.
But I read all of the boards because I'm interested in what's going on.
Why should I have to stop that for fear of my life choices being attacked?
I see nothing wrong with having a board for people who don't have kids....I think it's great! But I should be able to read it without feeling like I'm being attacked for the way I live my life!
I don't think this board is intentionally hurtful.
We aren't here saying people who chose to have kids are azzholes.
Ophelia was voicing HER opinion on HER fears of what pregnancy would do to HER body and how her HER husband would perceive her.
It has nothing to do with anyone else, their body, their husband, etc....
Message edited 3/10/2009 1:40:22 PM.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:36 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: For Those
Posted by Palebride
Posted by anonttcer
IMO if a board is that hurtful to you, you should not go and read it.
I don't read things on parenting or pregnancy- because that stuff is not for me.
If you don't have a pet, you don't go on pets.
If you aren't TTC- you dont' go on TTC.
Problem solved.
But why should a board be intentionally hurtful to anyone? I don't care how anyone else lives their life! I don't judge them for it. I let them live it.
But I read all of the boards because I'm interested in what's going on.
Why should I have to stop that for fear of my life choices being attacked?
I see nothing wrong with having a board for people who don't have kids....I think it's great! But I should be able to read it without feeling like I'm being attacked for the way I live my life!
Dont come on the board if you dont like what we are talking about...PROBLEM SOLVED!
Maybe I should go on to the Parenting board and give my opinion on how you are raising your child. Would you like that???
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:37 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: For Those
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by colette
get fat, get stretch marks, get pregnancy acnes, barf all day, feel like shyte, lose your will to live
so you can become a mother.
and so your husband will never look at you the same.
*********************
Sounds like bashing to me... and if my husband was never going to look at me the same after a baby, i wouldn't have married him. FTR, he's kinda MORE into me now, I've got some new curves 
that's just your experience. and that is awesome for you guys.
I don't understand why you would take what I said specifically, so personally.
everything I said is TRUE. all of those things CAN happen. and if you would read further down, my follow up post explains me more clearly.
but coming on here to tell people expressing themselves that they make you sick...is not cool.
I think that most moms would take what you said personally, not just Colette. To imply that our husbands will not be attracted to us after we give birth is really quite offensive. I can also guarantee that my DH is still attracted to me (hell, I am preggo with #2 to prove it )
I get that this is your safe place to post what you want....but when it's insulting to 90% of the population you should know that people are going to respond.
I am all for living your life the way you choose to live it. Kids. No kids. Animals only. Whatever it may be - It's not my place to judge as long as people are happy. I think this board is getting really ugly, really fast, and personally it's only a matter of time before people get offended - one way or another.
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:37 PM |
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Re: For Those
Posted by Palebride
Here's the thing though....it's a public forum. Anyone can read what you write on here. I understand needing a place to express yourself, I really do, but maybe a public message board isn't the place for it. Especially when some of the things being said on here are hurtful to other people who might not feel the same way.
I personally was incredibly hurt by someone's comment about how you get fat, get acne, get stretch marks, lose your will to live, and your husband's admiration....all to be a mother....
Just b/c it is a public forum doesn't mean you have to read it and express your opinion. Trust me I read things on LIF everyday that offend, hurt or just pizz me off, but the majority of the time I just skip it and move on...then go to the places I relate best and post my little heart out. And those don't include parenting and pregnancy where, trust me, I have many opinions of stuff I've seen there, but keep it to myself b/c quite frankly, I don't belong there.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:37 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: For Those
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:38 PM |
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MrsM-6-7-08
<3
Member since 8/06 4249 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: For Those
Posted by Palebride
Posted by anonttcer
IMO if a board is that hurtful to you, you should not go and read it.
I don't read things on parenting or pregnancy- because that stuff is not for me.
If you don't have a pet, you don't go on pets.
If you aren't TTC- you dont' go on TTC.
Problem solved.
But why should a board be intentionally hurtful to anyone? I don't care how anyone else lives their life! I don't judge them for it. I let them live it.
But I read all of the boards because I'm interested in what's going on.
Why should I have to stop that for fear of my life choices being attacked?
I see nothing wrong with having a board for people who don't have kids....I think it's great! But I should be able to read it without feeling like I'm being attacked for the way I live my life!
But the point of this board is to talk about why or how we came to the decision not to have children. If we have to censor ourselves then what is the point.
Why would you read the childless families board when you yourself have a child.
You should not be offended if that is how ophelia feels, then she should be able to write it, and i have to say, i feel the exact same way she does.
How is that hurtful to parents, you obviously overcame those feelings, and maybe they dont pertain to you but for others they are very real feelings
No one is attacking you or the way you live your life. If you really feel that way then you should just skip over this board if its not for you
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:39 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: For Those
Posted by anonttcer
I don't think this board is intentionally hurtful.
We aren't here saying people who chose to have kids are azzholes.
Ophelia was voicing HER opinion on HER fears of what pregnancy would do to HER body and how her HER husband would perceive her.
It has nothing to do with anyone else, their body, their husband, etc....
If so then it's another case of IMPROPER PRONOUN 
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:41 PM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: For Those
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:42 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: For Those
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
I disagree with this. Everyone has an opinion or comment whether they are in that situation or not. I post on Parenting, and I'm not a Parent. I think this site has some of the handsome and prettiest children, so I comment on that. Some people ask about places for parties, so I post about that. I never answer a DIRECT parenting question, but I do post over there. IMO This board is more than open to have parents post over here too. Things will be said that rub people the wrong way. It can happen here, or on Parenting.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:43 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: For Those
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
I for one would love to hear other opinions about Parenting and Pregnancy - from anyone. I truly believe I can learn something from anyone.
I do remember posting on Parenting before being pregnant, because I have 15 nieces and nephews - and if I could contribute something to one of the posts I really didn't think twice about it. I wasn't a regular poster on those boards, but if I did have something to add I would.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:44 PM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: For Those
ugh here we go. My OP:
Public Board read all you want, comment if you like but don't get your panties in a bunch because someone made a stretch mark post or getting fat post or whatever post on a section of the board where people discuss why/what made them choose to be childless now or forever.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:46 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: For Those
Posted by BJandDan
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
I disagree with this. Everyone has an opinion or comment whether they are in that situation or not. I post on Parenting, and I'm not a Parent. I think this site has some of the handsome and prettiest children, so I comment on that. Some people ask about places for parties, so I post about that. I never answer a DIRECT parenting question, but I do post over there. IMO This board is more than open to have parents post over here too. Things will be said that rub people the wrong way. It can happen here, or on Parenting.
When you post on Parenting are posting that they are offending you? That what they are doing is wrong? No you post that their kids are cute or offer help with a party place.
What some people have posted on here is OFFENSIVE to me and they are not be respectful of the members of this board....
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:46 PM |
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DirtyBlonde
*****
Member since 11/07 7344 total posts
Name:
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Re: For Those
it's not an easy thing to come out and say to people that you are a childless couple - by choice or not. at all.
my mother seriously thinks that i'm suffering from some kind of mental defect for being completely devoid of any maternal instinct. my MOM. she thinks that MY CHOICE is a judgement on HER choice to have ME and raise me - can you believe that?
if what i post offends people - it is not meant to. if you read this and don't like it - that's not my problem. how anyone decides to live their life is not my concern.
but please understand how often some of US are made to feel horrible for our life choices/paths.
is it going to come down to one board vs. another? because it sounds like that and i'm already  over the idea of it.
Message edited 3/10/2009 1:48:41 PM.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:48 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: For Those
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
I for one would love to hear other opinions about Parenting and Pregnancy - from anyone. I truly believe I can learn something from anyone.
I do remember posting on Parenting before being pregnant, because I have 15 nieces and nephews - and if I could contribute something to one of the posts I really didn't think twice about it. I wasn't a regular poster on those boards, but if I did have something to add I would.
I did post on Paretning once....a long time ago about my niece and got NO reponses....so I never did it again. I got the hint...."you" dont want anyones opinion or help unless they are a parent...thats cool...
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:48 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: For Those
Posted by Lisa
What some people have posted on here is OFFENSIVE to me and they are not be respectful of the members of this board....
THIS I can understand, your first statement about posting and lurking was very vague. 
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:51 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: For Those
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
I for one would love to hear other opinions about Parenting and Pregnancy - from anyone. I truly believe I can learn something from anyone.
I do remember posting on Parenting before being pregnant, because I have 15 nieces and nephews - and if I could contribute something to one of the posts I really didn't think twice about it. I wasn't a regular poster on those boards, but if I did have something to add I would.
I did post on Paretning once....a long time ago about my niece and got NO reponses....so I never did it again. I got the hint...."you" dont want anyones opinion or help unless they are a parent...thats cool...
actually... when I first started posting on parenting I didn't get many responses either, b/c people just didn't know me.
Even now, I don't get many responses over *there* b/c I'm not as active on that board as I am NFR... I have an older kid and most of the posts over there are about babies...
so NO, it's not that people didn't reply to you b/c you're not a parent.
maybe they just didn't like you in general, who knows...
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:52 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: For Those
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
Hmmm. I understand your point and totally agree with you BUT... when comments are made such as:
"why would I want to have children and lose my identity" you have to understand it's kind of a blanket statement against a population of people on this site in general. So why CAN'T they reply?
do you really think that ALL parents lose their identity? B/c if so... I'm here to inform you that, it's not the case... at least for ME it isn't.
I understand the point of this board and will respect your opinions... A lot of comments made me  but I'm being objective and understanding that they ARE your feelings.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:56 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: For Those
Message edited 3/10/2009 3:27:56 PM.
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| Posted 3/10/09 1:57 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: For Those
Posted by KeithHernandez
Hmmm. I understand your point and totally agree with you BUT... when comments are made such as:
"why would I want to have children and lose my identity" you have to understand it's kind of a blanket statement against a population of people on this site in general. So why CAN'T they reply?
do you really think that ALL parents lose their identity? B/c if so... I'm here to inform you that, it's not the case... at least for ME it isn't.
I understand the point of this board and will respect your opinions... A lot of comments made me but I'm being objective and understanding that they ARE your feelings.
I can completely understand why you or any parent would have been offended by that statement.
But it was from one poster that definitely does not represent all of our opinions. So please don't take it out on the rest of us.
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| Posted 3/10/09 2:01 PM |
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