For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

How did DC1 adjust at that age...this is my biggest fear and concern. Chels should be around 2.5 years old when DC2 arrives and I'm beyond nervous about the transition!

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Being totally honest here...

the first month was HARD!!! hard, hard, hard. But, we had jsut put DD in her toddler bed and so that was part of the part of the problem.

But now, I can't say it's prefect, but the interaction between them is priceless. My younger DD is constantly looking for her sister. And my older DD loves her sister.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Message edited 8/15/2010 11:48:06 AM.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

And this is going to sound cruel, but what worked for us. In the AM, when it was just me, I got my older DD set up with breakfast before I fed my younger DD.

Obviously only if they were both up at the same time. But it was easier to get her breakfast and have her happy, then try to do both at the same time.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

DS1 was exactly 2.5 when DS2 was born, and it was very difficult...DS1 hated when the baby cried, he acted like he hated me, and his behavior was pretty bad. BUT within a few months everything evened out and he really loved his brother. Now they are inseparable (when they are not fighting like cats and dogs).

I think so much has to do with their personalities. Also, since you have a girl, she may be a bit more nurturing and interested in the baby.

Congrats!

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

DS was 2 years and 3 months when DD was born. To be honest, he didn't act out at all and accepted her beautifully. It took him a while to accept that we were her parents too, but he never hit her or did anything to show that he was having trouble adjusting. She is now 8 months and DS recently told me we were going to keep her!

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

DC are exactly 3 years apart, and DS had no issue when DD came along. They are, and have been, the best of friends.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Posted by GoldenRod

DC are exactly 3 years apart, and DS had no issue when DD came along. They are, and have been, the best of friends.

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Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

2 yrs, 9 mos apart. A little tough in the beginning. The best advice I got was to make special mommy and me time with my older one. Now I have a 4.5 yr old and a 2 yr old and they are best friends

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

2 yrs 7months apart here and DS handled the twins way better than I was expecting. I made a real effort to include him in everything and everyone around us did too. He transitioned great.

When they started crawling and touching his stuff....well that has been a different story
But he really loves them and always want to do things with them....sometimes I will be taking just him out while DH stays home with the babies and when we are out he will tell me he misses them or he likes when the whole family goes out etc. And they ADORE him. Their relationships truly warm my heart already.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

We've had no problems. DS#1 was good with DS#2 from the start. He does have his jealous moments, but for the most part, he is so good with DS#2. Now that DS#2 is doing more, my older son is getting even better.

The hardest part is spending enough time with both, but while I was pregnant, someone told me to always tend to the older child 1st, only because they will remember, whereas the younger one can cry for a minute, and not be phased...so far it's worked for us.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

DD was 27 months when DS was born. It was tough. She still has a hard time with her brother and DS is 16 months. She is very jealous and picks on her bro all the time. They fight like crazy.

She does love him though. If he gets hurt she kisses his boo boo. and she does show him love. But im not gonna lie....its frigging hard. just make sure when the baby naps you play with DD and shower her with tons of attention.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Robbie was curious. He came to the hospital and held the baby and said he was cute.. but was more interested in climbing into the bed with me and cuddling because he was missing me. He also wanted us to leave Noah at the hospital.. he didn't fully get that the baby was staying forever!

I was really conscious about making sure Robbie got alone time with me and Rob. One or both of us would take him out to the playground or for lunch without the baby. It helped him to realize that he wasn't being 'replaced' - even though he did have to share us.

They are very close. They fight like CRAZY these days - but they also can't stand to be apart from one another for longer than a couple of hours. Noah sometimes gets special permission in school to see Robbie during the day - just to hug him.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

My sons are pretty much exactly 2.5 years apart. While I don't remember my son acting our or being that unusual, I do remember him starting with extreme nightmares a few months later. I remember the baby sleeping better than the older one for a bit. To this day when my son is under stress if comes out in extreme nightmares so it is part of his personality but this was the first time we saw it.

My younger son was very colic/screamer and required a lot of attention so it was hard for me to give the older son special time or do some of the things we use to do - even going to the park was nearly impossible for the baby refuses the stroller/infant seat. I tried doing a mommy and me where they had babysitting adn every class my younger son got kicked out of the babysitting for his screaming (when he as older too). He rarely napped anywhere but on me and screamed if you put him down. He screamed for pretty much 9 months! It took its toll on both me and my son. I had huge mom guilt and my son did strive for some attention but I would say he was bad....like he tried to potty train just so he could get me alone in the bathroom - and I really I had no time and waited forover 6months to train him or he say things that I liked the baby more or no one plays with him, etc. I did my best to do special projects or things he liked to do with me when I could put he baby down but it was hard.

I think my mommy guilt was the hardest part. If I had a easier baby I think the transition would have been a lot different.

They have a love hate relationship now - three years later. They do look for each other and the younger just loves having his brother around. The little one does drive the older one crazy and at times I feel bad because they are very different in age the little one can't do what the big one enjoys. But they do enjoy being silly together, being mischievious together and are starting now to kind of play better together. They fight all day long but they really do love and care about each other.

Message edited 8/16/2010 7:11:41 AM.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

honestly i wouldn't put too much worry into it! only saying that b/c the minute i got my BFP that was my main concern the entire pregnancy. i worried about every single aspect of my DD's adjustment. i think it robbed me of enjoying my pregnancy and then my DS's NB stage.
DD was totally fine. she accepted her new brother like he'd been there from the beginning. she was facinated by him and
"helped" me out all the time with him. it was nothing-no problems at all. BUT i will say that once he started walking and going after her toys at about 10.5 months...that's when things got crazy she is such a PITA about it! so in hindsight that has been the most annoying thing so far-but totally normal and totally to be expected! but watching them play together now is seriously the BEST thing in the world!

p.s. my DS was also the easiest baby ever so i will admit that that made everything a lot smoother. my DD was a colicky screamer so i can't imagine how it would have been the other way around.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Posted by ME75

honestly i wouldn't put too much worry into it! only saying that b/c the minute i got my BFP that was my main concern the entire pregnancy. i worried about every single aspect of my DD's adjustment. i think it robbed me of enjoying my pregnancy and then my DS's NB stage.
DD was totally fine. she accepted her new brother like he'd been there from the beginning. she was facinated by him and
"helped" me out all the time with him. it was nothing-no problems at all. BUT i will say that once he started walking and going after her toys at about 10.5 months...that's when things got crazy she is such a PITA about it! so in hindsight that has been the most annoying thing so far-but totally normal and totally to be expected! but watching them play together now is seriously the BEST thing in the world!

p.s. my DS was also the easiest baby ever so i will admit that that made everything a lot smoother. my DD was a colicky screamer so i can't imagine how it would have been the other way around.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

i understand that fear b/c i had one of those crazy babies! again, i ruined my pregnancy and his NB stage waiting for him to become a "bad' baby! it never happened-so don't worry so much-i know easier said than done...but just b/c your DD was easy does not mean your DC #2 will be difficult at all. both of my kids are now the easiest kids-good sleepers, beahvior etc. even with DD being colic for 4 months. i also think DD had reflux AND was exhausted most of the time. i had no idea that babies needed so much sleep so i kept her up and i think that made her so irritable and colicky too! you learn so much the first time around!

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

For me...it was AWESOME! Anthony did great. NOW, if it was Mattea who was my first and Anthony came along 2 years later, I would of had a totally different experience. Mattea wont even let me pet our dog without getting jealous.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Jack was just over two when Tyler was born and I love this age difference. If we go for a third I will try to keep it a two year difference. Jack has had ZERO jealousy and loved his brother from the second he laid eyes on him.

ETA: When Jack was 15 months old I watched his cousin once a week for a few months. That day was torture for me. I could barely hold the baby without Jack flipping out. I was SO worried about getting pregnant but he did amazing.

Message edited 8/16/2010 7:46:35 AM.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

DD adores and always did adore DS. But she pretty much stopped listening and would do things I purposely told her not to do. Plus she was on top of me and the baby ALL of the time. I have to watch her like a hawk so she doesn't hurt him (ie try to pick him up, put blankets on him, etc). I was constantly telling her "no" and giving her time outs. At 7 weeks, she's gotten much better though.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Hard at first but getting easier now. Noah 100% understood hat was happening...me having babies etc...but there were also 2 and so he lost a lot of attention, and honestly we handled it badly..we spoiled him..BAD, still do and it has some negative consequences, but alo he seems to get more attention based on his age then the twins combined.

It was an adjustment, but it wasnt too bad after the beginning.

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

Re: For those of you that have a 2.5 year age difference between kids

My boys are 22 months apart

My older son LOVED his baby brother....was obsessed with him...every morning he couldnt wait to go see him and help his brother

I swear...it was/is amazing

he only told me once "Mama....put baby down!" when he was upset and wanted my attention

Best advice I got and it worked was to keep DC#1 schedule/attention the same (if not more) since DC#1 KNOWS what is going on and DC#2 doesnt