Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Last night we brought DS to see DH's Aunt. I am still so upset by what happened. She is SUCH a pushy lady (and I am totally non-confrontational and often get walked on by people...).

Here is our night in a nutshell:
* She YELLS "Give me that BABY" when we arrive which wakes DS up.

* Tells me that the only reason my Dr prescribed DS Zantac was because he wanted a "kickback from a Pharmaceutical company"

* Tells me that I am poisoning my baby by using plastic bottles and hopes her nephew who is a dentist knows better than to use that on their baby

* Tells me after I gave DS a pacifier that it is the "worst thing you could give a baby, that it gives them orthodontic problems later in life and adds to gas"

* Tells me to give DS water in a bottle and not to tell my pediatrician

* Tells me when DS "cries like that" he is hungry

* Tells me the correct way to burp a baby is to only rub the baby's back from top to bottom, patting only creates more gas.

* Tells me that the healthiest babies are breastfed (breastfeeding did not work out for me) and that breastfed babies do not have gas issues

* I asked her if she was sick, she said "No, I just have a little sinus congestion", she proceeds to GRAB DS from me, kiss his hands, and then put them in his mouth

* Tells me that she would NEVER stimulate her son to go to the bathroom, because she would damage his rectal tissues. Instead she took him off formula and only gave him cereal and yogurt at 8 weeks.

* Tells me that giving DS Chamomile Tea will cause allergies and that is the LAST thing I should be giving him (I did it ONCE when I was desperate to relieve gas for DS)



This was only over the course of ONE HOUR.

My head is still spinning from the experience.

Please share your tips for how you deal with PUSHY women like this when you have a passive personality?

Message edited 5/14/2009 1:17:34 PM.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

No advice because I don't have the nerve to ever say what I really want to say in situations like that. But wanted to give you some..



She can have all the opinions she wants... he's still YOUR baby!

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

no advice.

but I really love when fam members, like my grandmother want to make sure I am doing everything possible for the sperm to meet the egg.

Believe me, to bring this up unsolicted at easter brunch for 30 was a nightmare.

"trying, we never had to try"
"this is what you get for waiting so long"
"if what you are doing isn't working try a new position"
"its probably all that bfing that has your body out of whack."

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Posted by Janice

no advice.

but I really love when fam members, like my grandmother want to make sure I am doing everything possible for the sperm to meet the egg.

Believe me, to bring this up unsolicted at easter brunch for 30 was a nightmare.

"trying, we never had to try"
"this is what you get for waiting so long"
"if what you are doing isn't working try a new position"
"its probably all that bfing that has your body out of whack."

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

sorry she's being an ***..

but i can tell you from my friends experience that the breastfeeding and gas isnt true. infact her son had so many tummy issues that she had to stop breastfeeding him.

everyone will give you unsolicited advice. tell them to go stick it.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Never sure why the dh's sides always feel they have a right to give it to the mother....let them give it to dh's instead.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

This woman is a complete idiot. If you don't want to say anything to stir things up, just nod your head and tell her you'll ask the pediatrician about it or you'll look into it.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

DS is breastfed and has LOTS of gas!!! so don't let her ffol you. I am not passive I would have put her in her place immediately!!!!! I understand you do not like confrontation but someone needs to put that woman in her palce!!!

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Wow I am sorry you had to deal with that.

And for the record my ds was ebf and he had the worst gas. when he was a newborn, the pain he would be in would make me feel so bad since nothing would help. And when he farted I swear it was so loud it sounded like it came from a grown man.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

don't tell the pediatrician....

you should feel lucky you have such a baby authority in your family

she had her chance. it's your baby, and you get to do what you want. the thing that would have made me the most would have been her saying 'she only has congestion' and then she kissed his hands.

I promise you, if it were my DS, I would call her and tell her exactly the blow by blow of DS's illness immediately following the visit.

(I actually did do that. My SIL only told us 4 hours into easter dinner that our nephew has a raging headcold. At that point, it was already WAY too late... being that he's 3 years old, he was wiping his nose on his hands and touching everything for over 4 hours already. Mysteriously, the ENTIRE FAMILY got 'bad allergies' the following week. (we're talking grandpa, grandma, Oma, uncle, DH, me, and DS). I made sure everyone knew DS got sick from that idiocy... We called EVERYONE.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Posted by Janice

no advice.

but I really love when fam members, like my grandmother want to make sure I am doing everything possible for the sperm to meet the egg.

Believe me, to bring this up unsolicted at easter brunch for 30 was a nightmare.

"trying, we never had to try"
"this is what you get for waiting so long"
"if what you are doing isn't working try a new position"
"its probably all that bfing that has your body out of whack."

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Actually she's wrong about the burping thing.

How do I deal with it?

Different ways for different people:

-Yes to death & then do whatever you want.
-Ask them more difficult follow-up questions as to why they think that way (hey, you could learn something new)
or
-Say "Thanks but I'm following my pediatrician's advice."

after that I turn a deaf ear & pretend they haven't spoken. But I'm very immature.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

Your answer to this lady and all the others with unsolicited advice should be, I only listen to my DR. Thanks but I'm not interested.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

WOW !!! I would have left And let her know next time pacifiers reduce the risk of SIDS ! But I don't know about you ,but with me there would be no next time after that

Message edited 5/14/2009 3:21:45 PM.

Re: Had enough of people giving me UNsolicited advice...

I would have wanted to leave so badly, who needs this advice (most or all of it wrong on top of everything else)?



My MIL is always telling me I shouldn't bother reading to DS--he's too young to understand the stories (he's 17 months). I remind her he is building his vocabulary, and enjoys the pictures even if he doesn't understand the stories yet.

Another gem I love is when I tell people DH and I are stopping with our son. Most immediately assume it's an age thing (sort of is, but there is more to it than that) and tell me about a 60 year old who gave birth to twins, just to remind me that it's never too late.