hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

Hi everyone..

Just a quick ques. regarding the etiquette of hand-me-downs..since my son has been born, people have been SO generous with giving clothing gifts, etc.. as well as used clothing which we have been SO grateful..

Here's the dilema/question-
if yoiu receive hand-me-downs from someone, do most people want them back? I have gotten two large bags from a friend and a few from my SIL.. I don't think my SIL wants them back, but the friend's friend is interested in using them when she has another child in a couple of years. So in that case, should I not take the clothes from said friend? Then I would have to keep track of whose clothes are whose and we seriously have about 5-6 bags of clothes.. I am just confused on how to handle, while I can use them, I just don't want to not give back what the friend gave me? Or should I just use them and not be worried?? Sorry, we are so grateful, just not sure what to do.

Thanks!! Any thoughts?



Hope everyone enjoys Halloween w/their little ones!

ETA: I did ask the friend if she wants them back and she said to just trade back and forth between her friend....she owned the clothes and does not want them back or does not want to store them, but I have no room at my house either. She wants me to give back and forth with her other friend.. Sorry it was not clear. Just wondering if I should just keep them and whatever she gets back, she gets, or just avoid taking them..

Message edited 10/29/2009 10:03:58 AM.

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

I would assume people are giving it not expecting it back but if I were unsure I would just ask the person.

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Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

I would definitely ask.

When i was given clothes by a friend, i wasn't sure if she wanted them back or not. So what i did was take a marker and put a little dot on the inside tag. That way if she wanted them back, i knew exactly which ones they were.

Message edited 10/29/2009 10:03:47 AM.

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

thanks for the responses-the marker idea is a great one-thanks!! :)

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

In the case of your friend's friend, I would just not accept them if they want them back. You will lose track of everything at some point and it will become too difficult. Some of my friends and I just traded bins (I would add to her bin once I was done with it with all my other clothes) and trade it back and forth between kids! If you are not comfortable with giving her your clothes, I wouldn't take it

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

I think it is safe to assume that if someone gives you a bag of used clothing that it is yours to keep.

One of my friends had a baby 1month earlier than me and her baby has always been 1 size bigger than DS. She "lent" me a few items that her DS had worn just once or never worn. It was at the end of the summer and her DS couldn't fit those clothes and she knew I needed summer clothes.

I haven't given them back yet but I totally expect to because she was clear that she was lending them to me. I think she gave us 10 outfits and DS only wore 1 once.

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

I got a lot of clothes from my sister for DS. She says she doesn't want them back, but, I think she's getting them back anyway...she's younger than me and I know she wants more kids.

I got a lot of clothes from friends for DD.
I've asked if they want them back and they said "No".

If you're not 100% sure. Just ask.

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

I would ask before accepting them. If they want them back, I wouldn't take them.

When I give them - maybe with one exception - I expect that they're being passed on to someone else in need.

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

i gave my SIL a ton of my son's old stuff... I do NOT expect anything back. The only thing I told her I might want back was his HUGE collection of Thomas the Tank Engine... that ish is EXPENSIVE and never goes out of style.... so if I ever have another son, I'd like it back.

anything sentimental I didn't give her.

hand me downs are GIFTS

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Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

If you have a lot of clothes from your SIL I would let your friend give her clothes to the other friend. It is too hard to keep track of.

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Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

I would ask first - if they are expecting them back, I wouldn't accept them. All the hand me downs I have are mixed in with all the other clothes, and I have no idea what came from who.
I would never give clothes expecting them back.

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

Thanks for the advice and responses everyone!

So, if my friend wants me to exchange between myself and the other friend, she does not want to store clothes, should i just not take them then? not sure how to approach...

tia!

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice

Ask first if they want them back then I would not take them

Re: hand-me down clothing etiquitte/advice