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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by jamnmore
I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.
so at first i agreed with everyone else.
then when OP clarified this was done before school as they were hanging out in the hallway, i agree with you.
how did we invite kids to birthday parties in high school? give out invitations between classes or at lunch.
i get the kids were upset because they didn't get a stuffed puppy, but it's just a puppy. it wasn't about the invitations.
and yes, my son has been left out of things in school and been upset about it. it was a learning experience for both of us and he is better for it.
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Posted 10/30/19 7:21 PM  |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by lululu
Posted by jamnmore
I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.
I don't think anyone on here said they expected everyone to get invited. But if you aren't inviting everyone maybe take the extra time to drop off the invitations at the children's homes, mail them, or simply send an evite. Any adult who can't take into consideration the feelings of a 9 year old little girls is kind of an a** hole.
Yep!
Exactly even as an adult I would not invite someone to something in front of someone else I wasn’t inviting. For example inviting a coworker to a function, I wouldn’t do it in front of another coworker even if we weren’t close. I think it’s rude and awkward, I can wait till we are 1-1.
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| Posted 10/30/19 7:24 PM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by lululu
Posted by jamnmore
I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.
I don't think anyone on here said they expected everyone to get invited. But if you aren't inviting everyone maybe take the extra time to drop off the invitations at the children's homes, mail them, or simply send an evite. Any adult who can't take into consideration the feelings of a 9 year old little girls is kind of an a** hole.
Yep!
Exactly even as an adult I would not invite someone to something in front of someone else I wasn’t inviting. For example inviting a coworker to a function, I wouldn’t do it in front of another coworker even if we weren’t close. I think it’s rude and awkward, I can wait till we are 1-1.
exactly!! this isn't a "spoiled kids, everybody should get a trophy"type of thing.... this is about common courtesy that even adults have to show... if not everybody is invited to something, thats fine- but then at least try to be low-key about it.
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| Posted 10/31/19 6:51 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by jamnmore
I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.
so at first i agreed with everyone else.
then when OP clarified this was done before school as they were hanging out in the hallway, i agree with you.
how did we invite kids to birthday parties in high school? give out invitations between classes or at lunch.
i get the kids were upset because they didn't get a stuffed puppy, but it's just a puppy. it wasn't about the invitations.
and yes, my son has been left out of things in school and been upset about it. it was a learning experience for both of us and he is better for it.
I should clarify then, she actually had to go into most of the classrooms because some classes the kids wait in the hall for the teacher to arrive and others the teacher is already there and they are all expected to go in and go to their desk until the bell rings. My daughter was already in class as I said, the girl came in and the teacher asked her to please hand it out at recess, to which she replied that only one person from that class was invited and she went and handed it to her anyway. Also, 9 is very different than high school. And even in high school I never handed out invites in school nor did I have a birthday party.
Like I said, my daughter was not upset but her and a friend did talk to me about it. Apparently there were a lot of hurt feelings. I think the real lesson is not that you won't be included in everything but maybe don't be an insensitive a** hole because there are nicer ways of doing things.
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| Posted 10/31/19 9:24 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by lululu
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by jamnmore
I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.
so at first i agreed with everyone else.
then when OP clarified this was done before school as they were hanging out in the hallway, i agree with you.
how did we invite kids to birthday parties in high school? give out invitations between classes or at lunch.
i get the kids were upset because they didn't get a stuffed puppy, but it's just a puppy. it wasn't about the invitations.
and yes, my son has been left out of things in school and been upset about it. it was a learning experience for both of us and he is better for it.
I should clarify then, she actually had to go into most of the classrooms because some classes the kids wait in the hall for the teacher to arrive and others the teacher is already there and they are all expected to go in and go to their desk until the bell rings. My daughter was already in class as I said, the girl came in and the teacher asked her to please hand it out at recess, to which she replied that only one person from that class was invited and she went and handed it to her anyway. Also, 9 is very different than high school. And even in high school I never handed out invites in school nor did I have a birthday party.
Like I said, my daughter was not upset but her and a friend did talk to me about it. Apparently there were a lot of hurt feelings. I think the real lesson is not that you won't be included in everything but maybe don't be an insensitive a** hole because there are nicer ways of doing things.
ok that's different then.
i would have listened to the teacher and gave them out during recess. or told my child to give them out during recess.
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| Posted 10/31/19 4:33 PM |
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
They do this in middle school all the time. That's probably a year or 2 away for a 4th grader. Not saying it's right but it's going to happen.
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| Posted 11/1/19 10:06 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by QueenElizabeth
They do this in middle school all the time. That's probably a year or 2 away for a 4th grader. Not saying it's right but it's going to happen.
So tacky!!!! Can people not afford a stamp? Or use an evite!
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| Posted 11/1/19 11:37 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Handing out birthday invites at school
This is not permitted at our school. I get the parents info and send it to the parents. There are generally no parties because most parents in DD’s are Spanish speaking only so I don’t think they do kid parties like that as DD has only been invited to 1 bday party so far in 2 yrs
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| Posted 11/2/19 10:33 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by Mrs213
This is not permitted at our school. I get the parents info and send it to the parents. There are generally no parties because most parents in DD’s are Spanish speaking only so I don’t think they do kid parties like that as DD has only been invited to 1 bday party so far in 2 yrs
 did you insinuate what I am reading?
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| Posted 11/3/19 12:21 AM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by Mrs213
This is not permitted at our school. I get the parents info and send it to the parents. There are generally no parties because most parents in DD’s are Spanish speaking only so I don’t think they do kid parties like that as DD has only been invited to 1 bday party so far in 2 yrs
did you insinuate what I am reading?
LSP2005, I bet your DD is missing lots of piñata parties. I'm Latina and we know how to celebrate  specially kids parties!
To the OP, yes, it was inconsiderate to do that, specially in 4th grade when kids are more aware of things happening around them. We never invited the whole class, and for that reason we always did the invitations via email. Yes, kids talk but it's a question of manners.
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| Posted 11/4/19 9:13 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
I think she meant that hispanics celebrate with family and don't do kids parties that include classmates. I know in my family only my sister and a few of my cousins do the classmate party. Kids parties are usually family.
I don't do parties every year for my son but when I do it's just family. They are usually late to accommodate my family, contain alcohol and music.
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| Posted 11/4/19 9:40 AM |
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Mrs213
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Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by Sash
I think she meant that hispanics celebrate with family and don't do kids parties that include classmates. I know in my family only my sister and a few of my cousins do the classmate party. Kids parties are usually family.
I don't do parties every year for my son but when I do it's just family. They are usually late to accommodate my family, contain alcohol and music.
Exactly what I meant thank you. 
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| Posted 11/4/19 8:56 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by lululu
Posted by Budjeg11
That sucks. I understand that by 4th grade the guest list becomes more selective but hanging that out in class to only some of the kids is not very cool. How did the birthday girl go around to all of the classrooms to hang out her invites?
They all hang out in the hallway/classrooms right before school starts so she just went from class to class with a bag full of invites. My daughter said when she came in to her class the teacher said "Why don't you hand them out at recess?" and she said "I only have one to hand out in this classroom" and gave it to the one girl and walked out! 
The teacher should have confiscated the invites right then and there and stopped it. She knows the policy just as well.
Regardless, the girl sounds like a brat and the parents are asssholes for allowing her to do it. Your child is better off.
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| Posted 11/5/19 5:40 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Posted by jamnmore
I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.
I don't agree with having to invite everyone either. Life does not work that way.
However, a little courtesy and discretion goes a long way. There is no need to flaunt it and flash it around. They could have been handed out after school.
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| Posted 11/5/19 5:44 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school
Honestly, its a life lesson. If she invited 9 out of the 10 girls in her class in front of the 1 not invited, THAT'S creul and mean. If she invited say 2 kids from every class bc they are her good friends, I really don't think its that cruel. Especially in 4th grade. Kids need to learn that they arent included in everything, that not everyone gets a toy bc some kids do, they are old enough in 4th grade.
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| Posted 12/9/19 9:22 AM |
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