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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
So my sweet little baby has developed quite the attitude!
She is 14 months old and is tantruming, yelling at me......
Example:
Me- "Let's put your pajamas on"
her- "No"
So I lie her down to put them on anyway
her- "NO NO NO NO NO" as she rolls and squirms away, then starts screaming.
Basically it goes this way for everything. No no no ALL THE TIME!! No matter what it is! She is crabby and mean!!!!
Somebody please tell me what this is all about. I thought she was too young for this? All of a sudden I feel this intense pressure that the way I react is going to shape her personality and the type of person she is for the rest of her life.
Message edited 2/9/2007 5:17:46 PM.
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Posted 2/9/07 4:55 PM  |
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alex7-2
LIF Adult
Member since 4/06 1418 total posts
Name:
alycia
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Re: Help! I am extrmely overwhelmed over here...
OH MAN..i am sorry you are going through this...my dd is 7 months old..and everyone i see in stores, malls, etc..keep saying.."enjoy her now..because once she says the word No..its all over" i laughed it off..but it sounds true..hopefully she is just going through a phase..im not up to that point yet but i wish you luck
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| Posted 2/9/07 5:02 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Help! I am extrmely overwhelmed over here...
The term terrbile 2's is misleading in my opinion, since it usually starts before they turn two. Jack started acting like this at about 18 months....everyday he was cranky, everything was cause for a tantrum, etc. Its stressful! So, hang in there. And remember not to give in to her and to pick your battles! It will get better soon!
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| Posted 2/9/07 5:04 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extrmely overwhelmed over here...
It's about giving asserting her independence. Starts about 18 months. Easy way to handle it is to give her simple, small choices, for example:
Katie - it's time to go to bed. Do you want the pink pjs or the purple?
When she says "I dont want to put my pjs on..." which will eventually happen, I would say "I'm sorry that's the schedule. But you can pick which one you want." (My children were obviously hating the schedule at an early age).
She doesn't want to eat - "Katie, which should you eat first?"
Don't give her too many choices - particularly if you're rushing to get out of the door.
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| Posted 2/9/07 5:20 PM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
yep...i went thru the same thing w/my son at around the same age...Only on top of what you described, he would throw himself on the floor and bang his head against the wall-this personality change literallly happened overnite-I thought he became possessed!!!
My Dr said its terrible 2's...to get used to it,and not to react-she's waiting to get a reaction out of you, to see what you do.THe best thing when shes having a little hissy fit is to totally ignore her.
And some people would dissagree w/me, but this is the age I started to put my son in time-outs.
I found they worked. I ask my son now when he gets bratty-"do you want a time-out?" He suddenly changes his attitude! Good Luck!
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| Posted 2/9/07 5:39 PM |
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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by nrthshgrl
It's about giving asserting her independence. Starts about 18 months. Easy way to handle it is to give her simple, small choices, for example:
Katie - it's time to go to bed. Do you want the pink pjs or the purple?
When she says "I dont want to put my pjs on..." which will eventually happen, I would say "I'm sorry that's the schedule. But you can pick which one you want." (My children were obviously hating the schedule at an early age).
She doesn't want to eat - "Katie, which should you eat first?"
Don't give her too many choices - particularly if you're rushing to get out of the door.
But she is only 14 months! I try the choices thing and sometimes it works to distract her.
I think she is too young for time out.
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| Posted 2/9/07 7:02 PM |
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Eleanor
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 2223 total posts
Name:
Ellie
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
we started tantrums at 10/11 months! I went on the advice from ped to ignore. I would even walk away and when he stopped crying I would go in and give him a big hug.
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| Posted 2/9/07 7:05 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
oh boy, welcome to the early terrible two's.
My other is exactly the same and she is two now.
Be patient
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| Posted 2/9/07 7:23 PM |
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AndreaLMT
:)
Member since 5/05 6856 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
I hear ya, we're starting that over here, only instead of "No", we get her trying to bite anything in sight! (Luckily it's not us)
Message edited 2/9/2007 7:48:58 PM.
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| Posted 2/9/07 7:48 PM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by sunny
But she is only 14 months! I try the choices thing and sometimes it works to distract her.
I think she is too young for time out.
My DD has started this phase too.... It happened at about 13 - 14 months.
She doesn't say no to me, but everything is a struggle.
IMO - Ignore her tantrums/crankiness and try to redirect as much as you can. I know it's hard because in the moment you are stressed and losing your patience, but I think it works the best.
's - Your not alone.
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| Posted 2/9/07 8:30 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Steph, I am with ya. It's so hard to discipline them at that age. I just try and tell her why the behavior doesn't work and try to distract her and move on.
As for changing, I sometimes give her something to play with or sing to her to distract her (she bangs on the Aqhaphot tub as we sing "Bang, Bang, Bang on the drum)
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| Posted 2/9/07 8:42 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
I can't be much help because we haven't hit that phase yet and luckily one of her many words is not NO yet.
I will say that we're having issues with her understanding what we mean when we say no. She smiles and laughs when we tell her stop or no.
So anyway I was at a loss on how to handle this so I bought two books that a friend with what I consider very well behaved children (a 2 year old and 5 year old recommended).
First is
Love and Logic the Early Years
The Discipline Book by Dr Sears.
Good Luck. I'm not looking forward to the No phase.
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| Posted 2/9/07 11:17 PM |
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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by monkeybride
I can't be much help because we haven't hit that phase yet and luckily one of her many words is not NO yet.
I will say that we're having issues with her understanding what we mean when we say no. She smiles and laughs when we tell her stop or no.
So anyway I was at a loss on how to handle this so I bought two books that a friend with what I consider very well behaved children (a 2 year old and 5 year old recommended).
First is
Love and Logic the Early Years
The Discipline Book by Dr Sears.
Good Luck. I'm not looking forward to the No phase.
Thanks- I am going to look in to these. There is no doubt in my mind that she understands what no means because she uses it appropriately and responds to it also (when she feels like it).
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| Posted 2/9/07 11:29 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
2 words...
Toddler Taming
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| Posted 2/10/07 3:21 AM |
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pugmama
April already?
Member since 3/06 5297 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by AndreaLMT
I hear ya, we're starting that over here, only instead of "No", we get her trying to bite anything in sight! (Luckily it's not us)
and here I am the bitee.
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| Posted 2/10/07 9:04 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by nrthshgrl
It's about giving asserting her independence. Starts about 18 months. Easy way to handle it is to give her simple, small choices, for example:
Katie - it's time to go to bed. Do you want the pink pjs or the purple?
When she says "I dont want to put my pjs on..." which will eventually happen, I would say "I'm sorry that's the schedule. But you can pick which one you want." (My children were obviously hating the schedule at an early age).
She doesn't want to eat - "Katie, which should you eat first?"
Don't give her too many choices - particularly if you're rushing to get out of the door.
I agree with this. I also dont think its too early for time outs, but they cant be long. I have also found it very effetcive to put the favorite toy in time out.
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| Posted 2/10/07 9:07 PM |
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Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!
Member since 7/05 15652 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
For a while Emily was saying No constantly! It was her new favorite word! I think a lot of it comes from them getting more independence, walking, getting around easier, but still not being able to have what they want when they want it. We can still pick them up and hold on to them and pretty much force them to do something (like get dressed) even when they don't want to, and they don't have much say in it, so they use the word NO like crazy, to try and make their opinion heard.
I decided that whenever Emily said No, I'd respond by saying "Yes, and then give her an explanation..."
Something like this...
"Lets change your diaper Emily."
"NO!"
"Yes, we need to change your diaper because you are mucho stinky..."
Now she says "Yea" a bit more, and still says no occasionally, but not as much as she used to when the "phase" started. I also have tried to let her have her way at times, not all the time, but when I realize that it's so silly and not a big deal to fight with my toddler over.
Good luck, it will pass. I would say that we had a good month and a half of nothing but Nos, and we still have them sometimes but we get a lot of "yeas" too.
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| Posted 2/10/07 9:08 PM |
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kimmie
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1535 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Brianna is 13 1/2 months and just yells and screams when she doesnt want to do something! I HATE it when she does it!!!
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| Posted 2/10/07 10:28 PM |
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by sunny
Posted by nrthshgrl
It's about giving asserting her independence. Starts about 18 months. Easy way to handle it is to give her simple, small choices, for example:
Katie - it's time to go to bed. Do you want the pink pjs or the purple?
When she says "I dont want to put my pjs on..." which will eventually happen, I would say "I'm sorry that's the schedule. But you can pick which one you want." (My children were obviously hating the schedule at an early age).
She doesn't want to eat - "Katie, which should you eat first?"
Don't give her too many choices - particularly if you're rushing to get out of the door.
But she is only 14 months! I try the choices thing and sometimes it works to distract her.
I think she is too young for time out.
I JUST read an article about this saying that they are not too young for time outs at 12 mts old...
However, you wouldnt want to give her a time out from putting on her PJs because that is exactly what she would want - to NOT put on her PJs, so youd be reinforcing her "No" behavior.... a time out is really a time out from something reinforcing, so in this case it wouldnt work....
Message edited 2/11/2007 1:00:51 AM.
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| Posted 2/11/07 12:59 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by nrthshgrl
It's about giving asserting her independence. Starts about 18 months. Easy way to handle it is to give her simple, small choices, for example:
Katie - it's time to go to bed. Do you want the pink pjs or the purple?
When she says "I dont want to put my pjs on..." which will eventually happen, I would say "I'm sorry that's the schedule. But you can pick which one you want." (My children were obviously hating the schedule at an early age).
She doesn't want to eat - "Katie, which should you eat first?"
Don't give her too many choices - particularly if you're rushing to get out of the door.
This is great advice.
The terrible two's can actually start anywhere in the second year of life (13 months and up) It does not usually start when they turn two but way before.
So as Barb said give choices but be firm, when you say something mean it and do it. If she sees she can get away with it she will keep it up. Also when she has a tantrum just calmly sit by her and keep her safe but tell her "Let me know when your done" and then wait till she is finished. She is testing your reaction and when there isn't one she will stop.
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| Posted 2/11/07 8:53 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by nrthshgrl
It's about giving asserting her independence. Starts about 18 months. Easy way to handle it is to give her simple, small choices, for example:
Katie - it's time to go to bed. Do you want the pink pjs or the purple?
When she says "I dont want to put my pjs on..." which will eventually happen, I would say "I'm sorry that's the schedule. But you can pick which one you want." (My children were obviously hating the schedule at an early age).
She doesn't want to eat - "Katie, which should you eat first?"
Don't give her too many choices - particularly if you're rushing to get out of the door.
Good advice.
That's pretty much what the Love and Logic book is about. I'm enjoying reading it and seeing how to handle different situations. It's so easy to get frustrated and react when they get like that.
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| Posted 2/11/07 9:16 AM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
Name:
Blank
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
No fast forward button for the terrible two's has been invented yet...
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| Posted 2/11/07 11:32 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Just take comfort in the fact that you are not alone with this
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| Posted 2/12/07 10:59 AM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
Posted by bedda26
No fast forward button for the terrible two's has been invented yet...
if you FFWD the terrible 2's the 3s and 4s are not much easier  
Stef - totally normal behavior, dont feel that youre doing anythign wrong. my boys started betw 12-18m too... and its still going at 3 and 4 
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| Posted 2/12/07 11:02 AM |
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smith1234
Little Angel
Member since 10/05 1745 total posts
Name:
Kristi
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Re: Help! I am extremely overwhelmed over here...
i have no advice since DD is only 6 months! just wanted to give some I can't imagine what you're going through. Hang in there!
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| Posted 2/12/07 12:14 PM |
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