Re: Holding a child back

I struggle with this all the time and DD just turned 3. Every other town surrounding me, the cutoff is Oct 1. In our town, the cutoff is Dec. 1. DD's birthday is Oct 22. She is doing well in a 3 year old class but I think it immature compared to the other kids, where some are turning 4 in January. And at this age, there is a HUGE difference. Plus her pre-school is private and have kids from a bunch of other towns whre there cut off is Oct 1, so she has some kids in her class who are a full year older. I am so torn. Her old teachers recommended her staying behind to gain some more social maturity, but I just feel like I'm "holding her back" and don't want her to be the oldest kid in the class. Even though i KNOW there is NOTHING wrong with it, i just can't help it.

Re: Holding a child back

I think I would observe the child to see if s/he is ready.

DS was born in March so we don't have to think about it. I hope the next baby will be a fall baby though.

Re: Holding a child back

I totally think it depends on the child.

Re: Holding a child back

My son's birthday is Nov. 29th. I've thought about holding him back, especially since he is language delayed, and a little immature. However, he is very smart, and would probably have no problems with academics. So, that is a decision I will make late next year.

It all depends on the child. If the child isn't ready, I don't believe there is anything wrong with holding them back a year. I think it's much better than having them struggle, and possibly being left back in older grades.

Re: Holding a child back

My DS's bday is the end of October and he went to school on schedule. I never even thought about keeping him back till Kindergarten when another Mom with a son whose bday was early Nov asked me if I had considered it with my son, as she had with hers. My DS has always been very advanced physically and intellectually. He was reading and doing basic multiplication in his head at 3 1/2 so I could hardly imagine him needing to be kept back for those reasons. However, I do think he was emotionally immature and being my oldest, he was young in that way too (vs. children in the class on the older end with older siblings). It was an issue in preschool and kindergarten - not a big issue in retrospect but you could def see the difference between him and his classmates who were on the older end. But by last year (he's in 2nd grade now) he had matured greatly and is definitely on a par if compared the same way. 2 of his friends are turning 8 next month and he just turned 7 two weeks ago - but I really don't think it makes a difference anymore.

Message edited 11/4/2009 11:27:21 AM.

Re: Holding a child back

This is one of the reasons I started my son in Pre K as soon as he turned 3 years old. My son was born at the end of November and I will be sending him to kindergarden at 4. I dont see the point in holding him back. If he is struggling then I will make sure he gets the appropriate help to catch up.

Re: Holding a child back

Re: Holding a child back

I think about this all the time. Our district cut-off is December 31st and my DD is a mid December birthday. She is very bright but I worry about her being in school with kids who are basically a year older than she is (all Jan birthdays).

Re: Holding a child back

I also have late Novemeber babies(Nov 24th) I think I will decide based on my childs' emotional maturity. If I feel they can handle the structure and routine then yes I will definitely send them. I don't believe there is anything wrong with challenging your kids academically as long as you have given them a good head start

Re: Holding a child back

I agree with the other posters who say to pay attention to your instincts and the emotional maturity of your child(ren).

I was held back as a child (12/29 birthday) and I think it was the best thing for me. I was not emotionally ready for it, so I repeated Kindergarten.

I don't think anyone paid attention to the fact that I was one of the oldest in the grade and I'm not sure anyone even noticed until I was the first girl having my Sweet Sixteen party!

I'm sure your decision is the right one.

Re: Holding a child back

I have a ds who is late Sept. and for me NOT holding him back was a tremendous mistake. Although he is socially on level, academically he struggles and I see now that the year would have helped. My sister has a ds who was born on the same day and she didn't hold him back and he is fine,but her dd is born 11/30 and she held her back. I think it depends on the child.

Re: Holding a child back

I wouldn't base it just on the birthdate, but chances are I wouldn't hold my kid back. I was a January baby and was pushed ahead. I was always the youngest, but I was just fine in school. My mom knew I would be way too bored with a 3rd year of preschool.

Re: Holding a child back

Re: Holding a child back

OK here is my $0.02.

Ale although only 2 and a half right now is the youngest in both her Spanish and her Gymnastic classes. And she is doing as well or better than the other kids. I think perhaps having the "older" kids might help her to push a little more than she would if SHE were the oldest, KWIM?

I am not trying to rush her AT ALL...it is just the way schedules worked out - but I am so happy with the results, that I would probably say if the child is mature and performing at or slightly above his or her age, I would put them in school even if he were to be the youngest.

Re: Holding a child back

DS was born 9/20, so this is an issue we've thought about. We felt DS is way to immature socially, and kept him back from nursery school this year (he's 3). Our plan is to put him in kindergarten when he's about to turn 6.

My nephew is a December baby, and my brother and SIL put him in kindergarten right away. even though he was a bit immature. He struggled a lot, and I don't want the same for my DS>

Re: Holding a child back

My DD is 2 and will be starting school in January.

I think she has outgrown our mommy and me class and will benefit socially from school.

And she is very smart for her age and I feel there is only so much i can do at home for her.

I agree though that is depends on the child.

Re: Holding a child back

Re: Holding a child back

Re: Holding a child back

DS2 was born November 3rd, and people ask me all the time if I'm keeping him back. I always say I'll wait and see what his preschool teachers say, but I am all for putting him into kindergarten on schedule. He is already starting to read, is very bright and does well socially, so I'd hate the have him wait a year and potentially be bored.

On the other hand, I was talking with a mom just yesterday who has a 13 year old with an October birthday, and she says she wishes she kept him back. The boys at this age are starting to mature physically and her son is a smaller and hasn't hit puberty. She says so many people hold their children back that it's artificially skewing things so that your child can be over a year younger than the oldest child in class. It's something to think about, but I think in the end it will all even out.

Re: Holding a child back

DS is 10/18 and so far I do not plan on holding him back. DH is 11/29 and he was not held back and said it never hurt or bothered him in the least so he is adamant about this.

Here an interesting situation though... so my niece is 2.5 mos older than DS (she's 8/2). Since the cutoff where she lives is 9/1 my SIL is thinking of holding her back (which makes no sense because this kid is very advanced). So if I dont hold DS back, his older cousin will be a grade behind him...