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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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How come having a second child...
Seems like such a bigger commitment and decision than having your first?
While I can't wait to have another baby, I am scared to pieces about the whole shebang. I wasn't scared like this at all with my first.
Discuss...
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Posted 1/21/08 8:01 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: How come having a second child...
I think it tends to be easier with the first because "ignorance is bliss".
Also with the first pregnancy you can pace yourself, rest more when you need to, etc. a toddler isn't going to let you do that.
In regards to childbirth, well, even though each experience can be different, you now know what it is really like.
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| Posted 1/21/08 8:05 AM |
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2kids2cats
My babies
Member since 6/05 5229 total posts
Name:
f
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Re: How come having a second child...
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
I think it tends to be easier with the first because "ignorance is bliss".
Also with the first pregnancy you can pace yourself, rest more when you need to, etc. a toddler isn't going to let you do that.
In regards to childbirth, well, even though each experience can be different, you now know what it is really like.
Totally agree. I jumped in and made the decision and did it, that was the easy part. Now I think about the sleep deprivation, having to care for 2....THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION... But I'm hoping my mommy mode just kicks in and I can do it.
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| Posted 1/21/08 8:13 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: How come having a second child...
I actually think it's both easier and harder
Easier because you know what to expect. The waking up at night, the sleep deprivation, etc. You know what kind of routine you will need. You learn from your previous "mistake" (hopefully!). You know what to buy.
Harder because you also know what to expect. The 1st time it was a surprise you did not have time to "worry" except for the unknown. It's also harder because depending on the age of #1, you have now to deal with 2 kids not just one. You can't just take a nap when #1 sleeps. You are split in 2 to take care of them. DC#1 still wants all your atttention if not even more.
ETA: no #2 yet, but that's how I see it.
Message edited 1/21/2008 8:15:27 AM.
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| Posted 1/21/08 8:14 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: How come having a second child...
I think I can help here,
I had my first two a year apart to the day-my dd was born on my son's first bday. It was planned.
When you have your second, especially close running after a toddler, I found alot of good, I didn't dwell on what bothered me because there is no time.
That goes for every little contraction too!
I walked in 10 centimeters dilated with my dd, still had a c section but thats a whole other story. Anyhow..you worry less about yourself because you are running after this other little person.
You do have lack of sleep of course but you tend to run on adreniline.
The second one you drink coffee---buy the diapers that aren't the Best...bcause you realize they all are not that different from each other, you do not run and call the doctor and every sniffle, you learn ok--its not green its ok.
You have learned alot so although you are busy you are calmer in alot of ways.
You have more patience, you know having a house like Martha stewart is like peeing in the wind.
You go looking for different colored leaves and make Thanksgiving placemats.
You are giving your first born a best friend.
It really isn't bad I promise.
Its more like...you regret if you don't you never regret that you did.
And now..I have my 3rd and 4th together Oh please...its waaaaaaaaay diff.
There is such a gap i forgot things...I am not back to the calling the doc every minute but I am back to "When do they get their teeth?"
You guys will be ok...you are just really thinking too much...it all works out.
You truly work on adrenline and I kind of found it easier.
Good luck to all of you...and Ii hope someone says bfp soon...
especially being I cannot have anymore!
and I want more.
So I am now living through all of you after this!
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| Posted 1/21/08 8:23 AM |
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Re: How come having a second child...
Posted by lastchance1222
I think I can help here,
I had my first two a year apart to the day-my dd was born on my son's first bday. It was planned.
When you have your second, especially close running after a toddler, I found alot of good, I didn't dwell on what bothered me because there is no time.
That goes for every little contraction too!
I walked in 10 centimeters dilated with my dd, still had a c section but thats a whole other story. Anyhow..you worry less about yourself because you are running after this other little person.
You do have lack of sleep of course but you tend to run on adreniline.
The second one you drink coffee---buy the diapers that aren't the Best...bcause you realize they all are not that different from each other, you do not run and call the doctor and every sniffle, you learn ok--its not green its ok.
You have learned alot so although you are busy you are calmer in alot of ways.
You have more patience, you know having a house like Martha stewart is like peeing in the wind.
You go looking for different colored leaves and make Thanksgiving placemats.
You are giving your first born a best friend.
It really isn't bad I promise.
Its more like...you regret if you don't you never regret that you did.
I completely agree! The worst part for me having my second was the antipation for labor because I knew what was to come and that was when I wanted to go runnin the other direction  .
Our second wasn't planned to be so close but I am glad it just happened because it didn't give us time to think and I think sometimes it's better to just jump in and see what happens.
Have fun tryin
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| Posted 1/21/08 8:47 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: How come having a second child...
I want to know the answer too. I was waiting to be able to try and now that I finally can OMG I am freaking out and I'm very non commital.
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| Posted 1/21/08 8:48 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: How come having a second child...
The logistics of two is what is hard. With one, you throw the diaper bag over your shoulder, pick the kiddo up and put him in the car. When you add another into the mix it goes something like:
You throw the diaper bag over your shoulder and pick up the smaller baby. Then you chase after the toddler who keeps taking his shoes off. The diaper bag falls off your shoulder. You put the baby down to get the toddler. The baby gets into the fallen diaper bag and eats all the snacks you had in there for the trip out. You catch the toddler and put the shoes back on. Refill the diaper bag and pick up the baby again. With any luck you all make it out of the house in the next 15 minutes! 
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| Posted 1/21/08 8:57 AM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
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Re: How come having a second child...
Posted by ddunne2
The logistics of two is what is hard. With one, you throw the diaper bag over your shoulder, pick the kiddo up and put him in the car. When you add another into the mix it goes something like:
You throw the diaper bag over your shoulder and pick up the smaller baby. Then you chase after the toddler who keeps taking his shoes off. The diaper bag falls off your shoulder. You put the baby down to get the toddler. The baby gets into the fallen diaper bag and eats all the snacks you had in there for the trip out. You catch the toddler and put the shoes back on. Refill the diaper bag and pick up the baby again. With any luck you all make it out of the house in the next 15 minutes!
so funny! but i bet so true too! this is what freaks me out too! there are days when just getting my one out is a freak show but thats not her fault, it's mine!
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| Posted 1/21/08 9:02 AM |
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2girlsforme
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3071 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXX
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Re: How come having a second child...
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
I think it tends to be easier with the first because "ignorance is bliss".
Also with the first pregnancy you can pace yourself, rest more when you need to, etc. a toddler isn't going to let you do that.
In regards to childbirth, well, even though each experience can be different, you now know what it is really like.
ITA!!! Especially, with the ignorance is bliss part. I also have a theory that smart women in their 30's have a harder time committing (at least this is what I have observed among my friends). I think in your 20's adjustments are easier. Oh well!!!!!
I also think we tend to "overthink" certain things. What really helped me over the hump was an older friend who told me I was to caught up in the details and had to try to envision what I wanted my family to look like in 5 years. For some reason that worked for me.
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| Posted 1/21/08 9:04 AM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: How come having a second child...
Holy $**** are you in my head!!!!!
I feel the exact same way and I dont know why. The first child was so much easier, I hardly gave it much though. Now with thinking about having a 2nd child Im scared out of my mind about bills,time with DS, time with Dh, work etc. I have no idea why. We are in a better place financially since having number 1, we have a bigger place but I feel like I have more resposibilty than ever and the thought of taking on more scares the bejesus outta me. I wish G-d would decide for me on the 2nd kid because Im so indecisive about when its not funny.
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| Posted 1/21/08 9:05 AM |
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ckone
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3014 total posts
Name:
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Re: How come having a second child...
Because we understand the time commitment and responsibility to caring for and worrying about another person - all of the time. The decisions can become greater financially with a second. Where you could "get by" financially with the first while working - that changes with more than one. Two kids in day care is a far greater expense than one in daycare.
We know that the infant stage can being very tiring with reagards to sleep patterns and already having one makes that very scary.
Also, the emotional aspect of "can I love two children the same". I have felt guilt on and off about being able to still give my little guy the time and commitment that I currently do now.
Those are my thoughts.
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| Posted 1/21/08 9:13 AM |
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