How do you discipline your 6 year old?

DS started kindergarten this year, he is 5.5 and turning 6 in April. So far I get nothing but back talk, attitude, inappropriate words (not bad words, just in a context I don't approve of, like calling my DD fat).

When I tell him to do something that he doesn't want to do he becomes defiant.

I have taken all electronics away, toys away, nothing seems to work.

He tells me I am mean because I don't buy him things and take him places but I refuse to reward that type of behavior. When he does something nice or is behaving I tell him that and tell him I am proud for that being good.

I really have no idea who this kid is and it makes me sad

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

Mine are the same way. :(

I've started a reward system in my house and it's been working.. It's academic based, meaning I use stuff they are currently learning in school and I do "tests" and competitions between the siblings and they get rewarded based on the number of stickies they get. Once they have reached an entire line, they get to pick out of the grabbag..the grab bag consists of a night out with mom, an extra 15 minutes of stay up time, get to pick a meal, pick a movie, pick a board game, etc. we also do chores in the house. I noticed that by starting to treat them like the little adults that they think they are, it makes them feel special and it curbs the freshness..

I send mine to their rooms (they don't have toys or their electronic devices in there, take away privileges and also threaten to take away extracurricular activities if they don't behave..

there are days where one of them will just be fresh and not stop so I try and address it and then ignore it. I find that when I do, they realize I'm not reacting to it and they stop..

It's not easy.. GL!

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

I have found that taking away their ds or wii or tv for a long period of time doesn't work for the small stuff.

When they back talk they are given a warning and if they continue they go to time out. If they are being defiant and won't go to time out, then they get brought to their room. If something continues after that then they will get something taken away for the night or the next day.

I also did a reward chart for them where they get a quarter for every star they get. This has really helped, since they are responsbile for things each day and will get notified immediatley. We take that money and we go to toys rus or so special stuff, which we would just be doing anyway, but they don't know that.

This way good behavior will be rewarded with movies, or bowling or a small toy.

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

Taking things away doesn't really work for us either. It is a temporary fix.

What does seem to work for us is a reward system. We have had it since about early September and ahve been consistent with it, and it is working for us.

I have two glass jars. I got them from AC Moore. I also got a bunch of pretty marbles from AC Moore.

One glass jar is full, the other is empty (on a good day )

If DD is not behaving a marble gets moved from the good jar into the naughty jar. She can earn her marbles back also for good behavior. If she has any more then 5 marbles in there at any given time then she is going to miss out on something fun...like a playdate or something like that.

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

Ugh. I've seen that definance & it sucks

A reward chart did work for awhile. One thing that was huge for us was complimenting the good behavior or,well... even mediocre behavior... to start. Like "I have to say I know it was a tough day for you & I know dd frustrates you. I was really proud that you didn't lose your temper. I think you are pretty smart to recognize that when you tease her you get in trouble. Good job"

It stunned ds & it really did help when we kept up with it.

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

My 5.5 year old is the same, exact way. What is working for us is a sticker chart. She can earn three stickers a day. One for the morning while we get ready for school, one for the afternoon when I pick her up from school and one for the evening from the time we get home until bedtime.
At the beginning of the week, we determine what she's working towards for the week and how many stickers she must earn in order to receive her reward. Sometimes it's sleeping over at her aunt's house or my parents' house, sometimes it's going to a movie or out to dinner or lunch on the weekend or it might be a trip to a new park. Usually those big rewards, she must earn all 15 stickers, so I make sure she's working towards something she really wants. But every week, she can earn staying up late on Friday and Saturday night by earning at least 12 stickers for the week (out of 15). So even if she slips up and has a rough morning or bedtime, all is not lost.
This has been working SO well. I combine it with giving her warnings. If I give her a 1, she knows she's approaching not earning her sticker. If I give her a two, that's her final warning and if I get to 3, then she doesn't earn her sticker for that time block. We rarely have a problem now, and the weekends are never a problem since they're more relaxed.
She's actually doing so well that I can see we will not need the chart much longer. But honestly, she loves it and it makes her feel good to see the stickers go up on the chart and it also is great because she's loving the things she's earning.

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

a reward chart somewhat helps over here too, although I feel your pain - my 5.5 yr old can be very nasty at times lately.

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

Posted by Melbernai

Taking things away doesn't really work for us either. It is a temporary fix.

What does seem to work for us is a reward system. We have had it since about early September and ahve been consistent with it, and it is working for us.

I have two glass jars. I got them from AC Moore. I also got a bunch of pretty marbles from AC Moore.

One glass jar is full, the other is empty (on a good day )

If DD is not behaving a marble gets moved from the good jar into the naughty jar. She can earn her marbles back also for good behavior. If she has any more then 5 marbles in there at any given time then she is going to miss out on something fun...like a playdate or something like that.

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

Some really great ideas...I really needed this thread because i've been at my wits end with the boys.

N's Kindergarten teacher did caught being good coins and now his 1st grade teacher does stickers, so maybe I'll start doing that at home. I also like the marble jar idea.

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?

DS's teacher uses a marble jar for her class. They each have opportunities to earn stickers all day. Then they "cash in" their stickers for marbles and put them in a jar. When the jar gets full, they vote on a class reward like movie day or pj day etc. I've been thinking of starting this at home too.

And one thing I've learned as a school counselor is that taking stuff away does not work. Earning small daily rewards is much more effective. Find a motivator (easier for older kids, computer time, phone privileges, video games etc) and every day they have an opportunity to earn the reward by being good, doing their hw, chores etc. If they don't get it on Monday, the week is not a wash, they can earn it on Tues as it's a fresh new start kwim. HTH

Re: How do you discipline your 6 year old?