How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

Ugh, my sweet baby has been having some issues with listening. I tell her not to do something, she does it over and over....I put her in time out, she cries, we talk about why she was in time out "you have to listen to mommy and daddy, etc". She is fine for a while

the next day, it is the same thing
arghhhhh....I am getting very frustrated, don't know how to handle this

any advice?

Message edited 9/4/2009 10:08:29 PM.

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

I have no advice, just for you since I am in the exact same boat.

DS will start running full speed down the driveway and I yell at him to stop and he will look back at me and continue to run. The list goes on and on with examples of how he doesn't listen.

I honestly don't know what to do. I assume this is an age/phase thing. But it is so frustrating... especially since you and I have another baby on the way!

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

No, but if it makes you feel better we are going through the same thing. I don't know what to do! She thinks it's a big joke.

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

if you figure it out please let me know. My son has extremely selective hearing!

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

glad I am not alone...when I tell her to stop or no, she says "don't talk to me like that mommy, that is RUDE !!!".....I can just see her at 12-13...she is gonna drive me to drink heavily

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

Ugh, my daughter is going through the same thing. She acts like she is boss around here - "shhhhh, no, don't talk mommy, listen to me, I am going to have candy because I had my lunch". She now does the head shake when she talks to me, throwing temper tantrums......

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

Well, we started time outs early so he "gets" them.

Its important not to give too much attention or reaction after the time out. It may still be enough of a "pay off" - I do this, I am sent here, but then mommy and daddy give me a lot of attention after that, so its worth it....

With Cailen, its a cold redirection to time out. after he is there, he says sorry and thats it - no discussion.

It may be his personality, but he really hates when we are stern with him. He gets very upset when I'm mad, so its enough right now to keep him in line - I'm sure it will change soon though

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

i sometimes am very thankful for my son's speech delay

Because I"m sure he's thinking all those things but just can't say it...haha.

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

I also remind Cailen *BEFORE* he misbehaves in certain situations (Now remember - we are only watching one show, so no crying when the show is over, or - remember - we are going to soccer but you need to listen to mommy or you are getting time out and then we are leaving!)

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

Steph a lot of this is normal right before Momma gives birth to baby #2

It will get worse before it gets better. Damien was such a beast right before I gave birth to Jaidy. Then afterwards horrid!!! It adjusted itself in a couple of weeks after he realized she was here to stay
Good Luck

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

You Drink...Heavily!!!! Start Now!!!!!

I have been going through the same thing with DD forever. I think you just need to be consistent, it really does help.

Good Luck!

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

Posted by Mikismom

glad I am not alone...when I tell her to stop or no, she says "don't talk to me like that mommy, that is RUDE !!!".....I can just see her at 12-13...she is gonna drive me to drink heavily

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

It took a long time to figure out what would matter to her, but the I finally found out 1 thing. She gets 3 books before bed. Each time she misbehaves I give her a warning that if she doesn't stop she loses 1 book. She's definitely lost all 3, but when the nighttime comes and I didn't read the books she took it more seriously the next day.

I will say every couple of days I need to remind her again and we lose all the books again, but I get a good day or 2 out of her

Message edited 9/4/2009 10:54:13 PM.

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

I read the book "Have a new kid by Friday" and the main thing I got from it was to teach your child you mean business the first time they are told what to do. Give no warnings. The author writes, "Say it once, turn your back and walk away.". Don't get angry, don't threaten, be consistent and follow through.. The basic principle of say it once, turn and walk away is really teaching mutual respect and that their actions have consequences even if not immediately. They use the following example:

A kids is screaming and talking rude to his mother. The mother says something like "please do not speak to me that way, it is disrespectful", turns and walks away and goes about her business. No yelling, no big deal about his actions. Later that day when the child gets picked up from school they walk in the house and mom goes about her businiess. Child asks for his milk and cookies snack. She turns and calmly says "we are not having milk and cookies today." and continues doing what she is doing. "But Mommy, we alwyas have milk and cookies after school" "Mommy doesn't feel like getting you milk and cookies today." "We are not having milk and cookies today becuase I dont like the way you talked to me in the car earlier today." Child has tantrum and apologizes and thinks since he says his sorrow he can have the milk and cookies. "Sorry honey, no milk and cookies today."

So long story short, I would absolutely recommend this book. It is simple easy and kinda of teaches a non chalant approach to getting your children to listen and behave. If they don't respect your wishes, you won't help them or play a game of whatever when they ask for it. It works as long as you are consistent.

Wow...sorry that was so long!

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

If you figure it out please let me know. We have been having extreme listening issues & I just don't know what to do.

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

When we brought Yael home Alex started acting out by not listening. There's truly nothing that irritates me more. If timeouts aren't working, I hit her where it hurts, by taking something away that's important to her, whether it's her favorite toy, storytime before bedtime, etc. That seems to work better than timeout

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

Posted by Stacey1403

Steph a lot of this is normal right before Momma gives birth to baby #2

It will get worse before it gets better. Damien was such a beast right before I gave birth to Jaidy. Then afterwards horrid!!! It adjusted itself in a couple of weeks after he realized she was here to stay
Good Luck

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

Re: How do you handle a child that just DOES NOT LISTEN

I have no idea.