How do you know when you are done with having children?

I have had the itch for another one since DD turned about 7 months old. I keep reading all those new mommy posts and I miss it. I don't want another baby now but I would like to have another in maybe 2-3 years. DH goes back and forth between wanting one and not. So how do you know when your done if it isn't medically related?

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I know when that i'm done...
1-When I hold my new niece, i have NO inclings whatesoever that awww, i want another...no itch ever when i see her to try again
2-WHen my new niece is up every hour or two at night screaming in my SIL's face every single night for the last 2 months and what a hard baby she is-i thank my little niece for making sure auntie is done giving her cousins
3-I have no qualms or tears when i put away a's toys or give away her clothes
4-I can't wait TO BE DONE WITH DIAPERS, highchairs, bottles
5-I Loathe the whole PG thing and what it does to my body
6-I feel incredibly good, sexy and even more in love with my husband

And the biggest one, I FEEL absolutely COMPLETE with my family. Yeah i'd like a boy, but there's no way i'd go through pg again unless someone can without a doubt guarantee it'll have a penis. I love my girls and i love my family and i love the ratio being 1:1

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

right after my second i "knew" i was done. I have two beautiful healthy children. I really and truly dont have any desire anymore to go thru sleepless nights, and night feeding, and diapers, and bottles, etc etc etc. I am totally fullfilled and just want to savor every moment with the two children i have and watch them grow and florish. The baby stage was great, but i no longer want to go thru it anymore.

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I just know that after this one I am done. I honestly feel like I can be a better mother if I only have 3 kids. For me, if I had any more I would feel like each one was not getting enough of my time.

Also for financial reasons. I want to be able to give my kids a good life, and with more kids comes more expenses. If it weren't for financial reasons, I *might* consider having a fourth. But I do not see us hitting the lotto anytime soon, so it is 3 for me!

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

In my case, it's because my DH does not want anymore what can I do, really? He's one and one and done, and I would love a 3rd. Not sure he'll ever agree to, so I've come to terms with it

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I thought I was done.

If you had asked me not too long ago I would have smiled and said "FINISHED!"

But suddenly the urge is back. And it is STRONG. And my husband is the one who keeps bringing it up.

I figure I will be absolutely 100% done when/if I have a 3rd. OR when I am in menopause. More than 3 children wouldn't be reasonable to my lifestyle - and I would have a hard time affording it!

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

Posted by chmlengr

In my case, it's because my DH does not want anymore what can I do, really? He's one and one and done, and I would love a 3rd. Not sure he'll ever agree to, so I've come to terms with it

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I willl let you know when I get there. I'm preggo with #3 and although I've been sick and miserable, I am already looking to having #4.

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I know that if God blesses me with another healthy child at the age of 38, I am done. I will be grateful for my two and too old to continue to try again.

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

So hard to explain, but I just knew. Part of it was my age (I was 36 with my second) and part of it was lifestyle. I knew I wanted to at least envision a time when my kids were older and able to do more "mature" things with. I also knew that I personally couldn't manage three without completely walking away from my career and I wasn't prepared to do that. When people ask if I'm sorry I didn't try for a third, I tell that having two children is one of the few things my husband and I completely agree on.

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I dont think I will EVER feel "done", I away want babies in my house. I an tell you now, I am definitely NOT done yet

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

Well, I def. don't think you are done yet - does that count

I know in my gut that I want another one now. Not sure how I'll feel if/when I am blessed with another baby - if I will then want to go for 3. Only time will tell I guess

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I wonder if I will ever get that done feeling coming from a family of 5

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

After my third was born, I never had an urge to have any more. Like posted above. I could hold babies and not feel the "Baby Urge". I could easily pass along baby stuff, sad yes, but never second guessed it.

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

Well, I do have medical reasons why it would not be a good idea to have more of my own. But aside from them, I just don't see myself up to it anytime soon. I would consider adopting though, especially a slightly older baby. I have no desire to relive the first 3 months again--they are too close for comfort.

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

for me, its like with the first. You are never ready, I don't know that I will ever be ready but I will have to ust do it.

a. because I don't want her to be the only child
b. I want to give her a sibling to grow up with and be with when.. well, later...
c. because I always wanted 2. I have one now, and if you asked me when she was born, as many did, I would say NEVER again! But, time does heal wounds, and memories of those wounds, and I guess in a few years we'll try for a second. As for third, well, we'll see!

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

Posted by emilain

I dont think I will EVER feel "done", I away want babies in my house. I an tell you now, I am definitely NOT done yet

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I can't answer that yet because I know I'm not done yet--there's something in me that feels "unfinished." I'm afraid I'll never have that "I'm done" feeling, but logically, I know that 3 children is more than enough...when that time comes. I think my DH is going to have to be the one that tells me we're done!

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

I knew I was done with having kids when we had our 3rd. It was a different feeling than after I had #1 and #2. It had nothing to do with the pregnancy or L&D. It was just a feeling that was very clear in my heart and mind. My feelings when it comes hearing about other new Mommy posts is very visceral - it is a feeling I might always have - missing those days of being pregnant, feeling the baby move, having a child period. But it passes and like I said, I know in my gut that I am done. It made me sad for awhile but I made peace with it a littile less than a year ago (my youngest is almost 2) and now I look forward to the next phase of our lives as a complete family. HTH

Re: How do you know when you are done with having children?

When DH said so!!!!!

Actually I thought I was done after I had the twins. But then I met DH and I just couldnt see not having a child with him. Neither one of us thought we were going to have any more kids...we both changed our minds.

DH would of been able to talk me into having another one...had I been able to talk him into having another one..

Oh well...we are done.