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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
Posted by jessnbrian
I don't believe anyone HERE was judging. I think everyone has been simply offering their advice based on their experiences.
If you decide to share with anyone, regardless of the person being a coworker, friend, or family member, you open yourself up to their comments - nice and not so nice. I completely agree that if someone is going to be nasty about what you share - then screw them, it's not their life and it's not going to affect them. I've had people look at me like I was wrong to even be TTC being that "I've only been married 2 years", forget the fact that I'm already 30, and now have had multiple losses, or that I've known DH for 18 years, have been together 7 and lived together for 5. (This was actually my receptionist who is 51, in passing because she doesn't know that I am actually TTC and have had losses.)
I wasn't saying here, I was referring to her colleagues she mentioned on her post.
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Posted 12/6/13 2:16 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
Posted by ggt08
Posted by jessnbrian
I don't believe anyone HERE was judging. I think everyone has been simply offering their advice based on their experiences.
If you decide to share with anyone, regardless of the person being a coworker, friend, or family member, you open yourself up to their comments - nice and not so nice. I completely agree that if someone is going to be nasty about what you share - then screw them, it's not their life and it's not going to affect them. I've had people look at me like I was wrong to even be TTC being that "I've only been married 2 years", forget the fact that I'm already 30, and now have had multiple losses, or that I've known DH for 18 years, have been together 7 and lived together for 5. (This was actually my receptionist who is 51, in passing because she doesn't know that I am actually TTC and have had losses.)
I wasn't saying here, I was referring to her colleagues she mentioned on her post.
Gotcha, sorry!!!
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| Posted 12/6/13 2:29 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
Crashing. I could see why at some point people would need to open up to people at work about what is going on. I didn't get to IVF but even with IUIs and monitoring, some days I found myself late to work, and had to use the "Dr. Appt" excuses but I'm pretty sure they figured out what was going on anyway. I am sure if I had gotten to IVF I would have had to tell at least my supervisor what was going on. Best of luck to you! Hoping your first cycle is the only one you'll need! 
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| Posted 12/6/13 2:44 PM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
I'm a teacher. Practically everyone in my building knows what I'm going through and quite frankly it makes life easier in many different ways. Not everyone is warm and fuzzy about it , and I just brush it off.
I felt like just saying I had a dr appt multiple times came across as suspicious. I'd rather they know then give me stares and spread rumors (it's hAppened with adults and young people alike) and speculate.
It was also helpful they knew when I had my 2 m/c's.
Furthermore - my body blows up immediately - boobs swell and we know crinone makes us look 5 months - so people have def looked at me funny regarding big boobs small boobs big stomach not as big etc - in the past three months. It's easier then getting that questioning state.
Just my opinion.
Lillie's - I support you :) maybe they reacted that way bc they were surprised esp bc u have a dc already? Or bc people are idiots.
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| Posted 12/6/13 4:22 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
I have to say I am so surprised with how many people are so open with what they're doing with their jobs!! I think it surprises me so much because with every other aspect of my life (and strangers) I'm so open with it. I'm so glad you all feel so comfortable doing so, i definitely couldn't be so here where I am now (and I like where I am).
I do have to say that I thought about the issue throughout the day and realized that if I were still at south Nassau hospital I most definitely WOULD have told those coworkers and the director what was going on, but I trusted them - and had the protection of various legal hr things that you don't get in the small offices.
I am curious though, those of you who told bosses and coworkers, how many of those you told were women? I wonder if I feel so strongly about it here because my last two jobs (this one and the last) my bosses were men....
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| Posted 12/6/13 4:29 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
Posted by ready2go
I am so sorry that someone spoke to you that way. She really shouldn't have judged you or what you are doing. I am a teacher, and I have confided in the people with whom I am the closest. Especially since I've needed them to help me out by covering me when I am running late for bloodwork in the morning.
I'm a teacher too and exactly what I did as well.
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| Posted 12/6/13 5:13 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
Posted by Michelle1110
I'm a teacher. Practically everyone in my building knows what I'm going through and quite frankly it makes life easier in many different ways. Not everyone is warm and fuzzy about it , and I just brush it off.
I felt like just saying I had a dr appt multiple times came across as suspicious. I'd rather they know then give me stares and spread rumors (it's hAppened with adults and young people alike) and speculate.
It was also helpful they knew when I had my 2 m/c's.
Furthermore - my body blows up immediately - boobs swell and we know crinone makes us look 5 months - so people have def looked at me funny regarding big boobs small boobs big stomach not as big etc - in the past three months. It's easier then getting that questioning state.
Just my opinion.
Lillie's - I support you :) maybe they reacted that way bc they were surprised esp bc u have a dc already? Or bc people are idiots.
That's exactly how i felt Michelle. I'd rather people know the truth the assume. One asked me if I was ok and I found out she thought I was sick! I know it's none of their business but I have to live and work in that environment and them knowing makes my life a lot easier and the stress is so much less.
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| Posted 12/6/13 5:18 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
Posted by jessnbrian
I have to say I am so surprised with how many people are so open with what they're doing with their jobs!! I think it surprises me so much because with every other aspect of my life (and strangers) I'm so open with it. I'm so glad you all feel so comfortable doing so, i definitely couldn't be so here where I am now (and I like where I am).
I do have to say that I thought about the issue throughout the day and realized that if I were still at south Nassau hospital I most definitely WOULD have told those coworkers and the director what was going on, but I trusted them - and had the protection of various legal hr things that you don't get in the small offices.
I am curious though, those of you who told bosses and coworkers, how many of those you told were women? I wonder if I feel so strongly about it here because my last two jobs (this one and the last) my bosses were men....
Good point. My boss is a woman. It was easy to tell her bc I have a great relationship with her. I'm not sure how I would be with a man but I probably would have done same thing. With teaching we can't be late or the kids Are left unsupervised. There were a few appts where it was a close call. IVF esp last part of it you're in the office every day.
I felt a weight lifted once I told her. Less stress the better.
I
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| Posted 12/6/13 5:23 PM |
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EnV-McC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/10 885 total posts
Name:
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
My boss knew/knows what I was going through but that was only after I knew they would be 100% supportive, which they are.
I'm VERY weary who I open up to. Only a few coworker (I think 2) knew as well and again, this is after I positively knew they were more than coworkers but people I call friends.
I am really cautious about things like negative energy, "evil eye" and others people jealously trying to block blessings (call me crazy), so I try to keep my business to myself as not to jinx things.
Just be careful who and how you share Lillies. Not everyone will understand or be on board with what you're going through and that's they're problem to deal with, not yours. 
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| Posted 12/6/13 5:36 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
Posted by ggt08
Posted by jessnbrian
I have to say I am so surprised with how many people are so open with what they're doing with their jobs!! I think it surprises me so much because with every other aspect of my life (and strangers) I'm so open with it. I'm so glad you all feel so comfortable doing so, i definitely couldn't be so here where I am now (and I like where I am).
I do have to say that I thought about the issue throughout the day and realized that if I were still at south Nassau hospital I most definitely WOULD have told those coworkers and the director what was going on, but I trusted them - and had the protection of various legal hr things that you don't get in the small offices.
I am curious though, those of you who told bosses and coworkers, how many of those you told were women? I wonder if I feel so strongly about it here because my last two jobs (this one and the last) my bosses were men....
Good point. My boss is a woman. It was easy to tell her bc I have a great relationship with her. I'm not sure how I would be with a man but I probably would have done same thing. With teaching we can't be late or the kids Are left unsupervised. There were a few appts where it was a close call. IVF esp last part of it you're in the office every day.
I felt a weight lifted once I told her. Less stress the better.
I
I totally get the teaching issue - I went to school originally for education, and 99% of my friends are educators. I wonder if my hesitation would be a strong with work now if my boss was a woman. As it is my doctor doesn't even know that I had the miscarriages, and I was having one of them in the middle of the workday and only left an hour early when it was just too painful. I'm sure he knows that something was up, but not what, because my work did drop a little bit while I was experiencing that... I dropped a few very minor things, but caught back up in a week.. It definitely would've been much easier if I had been able to confide in him what was going on.
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| Posted 12/6/13 6:29 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
I am a teacher so I did the IVF over the summer so I did not need to tell anyone. I did tell a few people who I am close to though and only got positive reactions.
My ILs are religious (RC) and they were always supportive of IVF. They really were of the mindset: you gotta do what you gotta do. I am sure this also stems from the fact that our IF was due to my DH's cancer. I think people who frown upon do not truly understand what the process is.
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| Posted 12/6/13 6:37 PM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
It's easier if you have a good relationship with your bosses.
I have three separate offices.
One is female- very nice but very conservative. She is very into her staff so I had to tell her to avoid schedule conflict. I am with her all week so I had no choice. IVF will impact her the most unfortunately.
One is male and like a second father to me. I do not plan on telling him what is happening. Emailed him that I am having woman issues and may need to call out for a procedure on a patient day. I am only with him a few days a month so I doubt it would impact him.
The last is a male but he is a very, very good friend and I have been open with my fertility issues with him and his wife from day one. I have not told him yet but know that when I do, he will probably be so happy and excited for us. He has been more than supportive throughout the years I have been with his office.
Overall, the female office is the one that makes me the most nervous about telling because I have only been there for 15 months and still feel new. Hopefully she will understand.
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| Posted 12/6/13 6:40 PM |
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Re: How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
I felt I had to tell my female boss I was pregnant. I wanted to keep it a secret, but I was spotting the other day and needed to leave immediately to get it checked (Everything is great). I told her I was super early, and that I needed her to be discreet. She has been. If I wasn't so panicked, maybe I would have handled it better, but it worked out the the best.
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| Posted 12/6/13 9:06 PM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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How has the response been from coworkers about IVF?
People are stupid and they don't get IF or IVF. When I talk to people about it not relating to me they really have no idea and don't get it. As for me I haven't told anyone at all. At work I have some issues with taking off as well. My luck an IUI fell on Parent-teacher conferences and my IVF fell on the first week of school during open school. BAD TIMING. So I had to tell my Principal something. I told her I was having health issues and I needed to have a medical procedure. She worked with me and let me come in late for PTC. I got a note and its obvious its from a RE so either she and the secretary think I am having some gynecological surgery or am doing fertility procedures.
Oh and my coworkers and friends at work thing something is majorly wrong with me since I took off 2 days the first week of school. I am the person who used to NEVER take off.
I am not allowed to ever be late so luckily I get 6 am appointments with my RE and make it by 8 for work.
I really don't care what they think since I'm entitled to take sick days. Sorry you are dealing with people who don't get it. Hang in there.
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| Posted 12/6/13 9:55 PM |
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